The Murderous Duke's Domestic Affairs - Chapter 39

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 39
“Before it gets cold.”
Even at Lauren’s clear voice, Letti Torres couldn’t bring himself to reach for it. His blue eyes darted nervously, gauging Aster Veil Lilywood’s mood, which seemed uncomfortable. Only after his superior’s mouth twisted in its usual manner did Letti chuckle and serve himself some toast onto his plate.
“Wow, this is delicious!”
Letti Torres exclaimed after taking a bite of the toast. Having devoured half of it in an instant, he stared at his plate before placing it in front of Aster Veil Lilywood, urging him to try it as well. Then he quickly claimed his own portion. Really, it was absurd. Aster Veil Lilywood suppressed a laugh that threatened to burst forth.
Perhaps because Lauren had taught him his duties properly and influenced the adjustment of his salary to a reasonable level, Letti Torres seemed to have taken a liking to her. Well, it was understandable. She was beautiful, sincere, and kind to others.
Suddenly feeling a gaze, I opened my eyes to find Lauren staring directly at me. I twisted my lips and glared at the plate before me. Taking a deep breath, I picked up my fork. I carefully cut the toast, golden from egg wash, and placed it in my mouth.
The first thing my tongue detected was sweetness. Whipped cream and a touch of sugar, and perhaps jam spread inside. I didn’t usually prefer sweetness, but the salty taste of ham and cheese that followed made it not burdensome at all. Without realizing it, I turned my gaze toward Lauren. Her violet eyes curved beautifully as they met mine. For a moment, my heart raced. I was startled and lowered my head.
“You don’t seem to enjoy sweet things much, so I adjusted the recipe a bit. How is it?”
When did she notice that? I looked quietly at the golden toast on the plate and opened my mouth.
“…It’s delicious.”
It truly was delicious. I moved my fork and put another piece in my mouth. Since that day, I hadn’t properly tasted anything. How strange. Yes, Lauren was a truly strange person. She entered my barren daily life as if it were nothing and colored it with her own hue. So quietly, so gently that I didn’t even notice.
I’d even pondered, in my own way, when and why I came to like her. But such things couldn’t be understood through contemplation.
My unconscious hand moved the fork. It was merely the simple act of putting food in my mouth and chewing, yet the soft sweetness lingering on my tongue had already filled my entire mind.
A sweetness that burrowed into my thoughts without my knowing, threatening to become an addiction. Lauren was similar to this sweetness. Undeniably present, yet not unpleasant. She drew my heart like my hand kept reaching for more.
Perhaps I was already addicted. Just moments ago, I had tried to distance myself from her and keep her at arm’s length. But it seemed such things didn’t go according to my will.
If I could have controlled such feelings from the start, I could have prevented them from turning toward Lauren. Truly, it was a futile thought.
“Did you make this yourself, my lady?”
Letti Torres’s straightforward voice intruded into my thoughts. I resisted the urge to press my head and opened my eyes. I didn’t dislike Letti Torres’s cheerfulness, but today was an exception. His grinning was particularly irritating to watch. Like that day when he was taking lessons beside Lauren.
“Yes, that’s right. My mother used to make it sometimes. I like sweet things, so I didn’t add ham and cheese inside.”
Perhaps when she was young, she had pestered her mother to make it sweeter. I lowered my head and smiled faintly. The Previous Marquis Siaz and his wife had adored their only daughter, so it wasn’t difficult to picture a small girl with black hair clinging to her mother’s skirts.
“I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”
At Lauren’s voice, I suddenly came to my senses. This had never happened before—I had completely lost focus. Our eyes met. Lauren smiled softly, her eyes crinkling at the corners.
“Calvin will be happy.”
One of my eyebrows shot up. Why did the Butler’s name come up here? Lauren laughed aloud. It was a sound like rolling pearls. She certainly knew how to laugh. I exhaled softly. If anyone else had laughed like that before me, I wouldn’t have hidden my discomfort and would have acted out to live up to my reputation as a “murderer.” But somehow, I had no such inclination. Lauren’s laughter was pleasant to hear.
“Why Calvin?”
But I couldn’t reveal such feelings. I deliberately spoke in a blunt tone. Even to my own ears, my voice sounded quite harsh, yet Lauren’s smile didn’t waver.
“He asked me to. He wanted me to get you to eat something.”
I could bear it no longer. I let out a hollow laugh. Really, he was audacious beyond measure. But I also knew well that Calvin was worried about me, knowing I didn’t eat or sleep properly. The servants who had been with me since childhood were simply impossible to overcome.
“Thank you.”
With a long exhale, I murmured in a low voice. My gaze couldn’t leave Lauren, who was smiling brightly. As I gazed at her quietly, I drew my hand across my face.
“You should thank Calvin, not me.”
“I’ll think about it.”
My voice came from beneath my large hand, which covered my face entirely. Lauren was laughing without concern, yet my heartbeat sounded far too loud. What good was it to think this shouldn’t happen? I was still being swayed by it. My lips kept trying to curve upward. I pressed them down with my hand.
Unable to look at her directly, I turned my eyes away, and Letti Torres fell into my line of sight. His fork, which had been moving cheerfully as he ate his toast with delight, froze unnaturally in mid-air. I looked into Letti Torres’s eyes. The focus in his blue eyes had dissolved into emptiness. At this sight, which I had never seen before, my brow furrowed deeply.
“Letti?”
As I called his name, light suddenly returned to Letti Torres’s eyes. His enlarged eyes swept briefly around the surroundings. I watched him quietly.
“Oh, did you call me?”
Letti Torres’s vacant voice was no different from usual. Something seemed a bit off, but perhaps it was just my imagination. I felt slightly unsettled, but soon twisted my lips.
“Why are you spacing out?”
“Ah, that must be it. The toast was so delicious.”
“Oh, surely not to that extent.”
Lauren’s face brightened at Letti Torres’s cheerful remark. When she mentioned that she’d already passed the recipe to the head chef so he could enjoy it anytime, Letti Torres laughed sheepishly, scratching his head. Then he drained his lukewarm coffee in one gulp. His exhaled breath trembled slightly.
“Pull yourself together. There’s much work to do today.”
“Yes, sir.”
Letti Torres rose from his seat with a brief reply. He quickly gathered the empty plate and cloche onto a tray, then turned back to Lauren with a bow as he headed toward the wagon waiting outside.
“Thank you for the meal, madam. It was truly delicious!”
Letti Torres’s retreating figure as he left the office with that characteristic grin looked exactly as it always did, yet something about it nagged at me. I found myself unable to tear my gaze from my longtime aide’s back.
* * *
I leaned against the window, sipping from my glass. The small garden of the Duke’s Residence visible from the office window had transformed from its former desolation into something bright and warm. It was merely a few flowers planted, yet how strange it seemed. Lauren was truly a remarkable person.
I’d let my thoughts drift to her again. Frowning, I bit my lip and smiled wryly. Still, I was grateful. The night remained entirely mine. So surely I wouldn’t be punished for indulging in such thoughts.
The more I tried not to think of her, the more Lauren filled my mind. The fact that I hadn’t understood my own heart until Blaze pointed it out, and that my firm resolve to keep her at a distance now seemed almost laughable. When had my feelings for her grown so vast that they easily eclipsed Blaze’s threats?
Lauren filled my heart like autumn flowers blooming brilliantly beyond the window. Today was no exception. Toast with reduced sweetness, just as I preferred. The way her hand had quietly offered me another slice without comment when my plate emptied, or that smile in her eyes when she mentioned Calvin Stewart’s request—all of it.
No, it wasn’t just today. From the day Lauren began working in this office, she’d spoken to me about changing Letti Torres’s punishment for his mishandling of documents.
And when I, knowing only military ways, asked her to teach me what a lord should do, she guided me not through lectures but by thinking through it together. That was likely her consideration, worried that my pride as a high-ranking noble might be wounded. It was Lauren’s characteristic kindness, expressed without fanfare.
She was an extraordinarily strong person, bearing the unbreakable resilience of the Previous Marquis Siaz, her father.
The audacity to flee the Marquis Estate, having lived her entire life rejecting a fate of being sold off. The composure to face someone whose alias “the Murderer” was more famous than his true name without wavering. Unlike me, who merely sought to maintain the status quo to avoid reliving that massacre, she would face even those she disliked and speak her truth.
Even moments before losing consciousness from the drug, hadn’t she stood firm against Abarid Bestes and Trace Siaz? It was that strength to move forward despite her fear that made her shine.
Lauren was truly someone worthy of love and respect. The beauty that had startled me when I first beheld her paled in comparison to her kindness and strength. Without realizing it, I found myself recalling that radiant smile she’d turned toward me. Her smile, her laughter, everything about her—it had set my heart racing, a heart I’d thought hardened long ago.
Yet at the same time, Blaze’s voice echoing “we’ll see” reverberated somewhere deep in my chest.
Lauren was strong and wise, but I was not.
I looked at my reflection in the glass window and lowered my head, laughing bitterly. The truth was, I was someone who couldn’t stand confidently before others.
Hair grown long without touching a blade to match my brother’s appearance. Deliberately crude behavior displayed before others. A reality I couldn’t change. All of it was, in truth, merely a desperate thrashing born from not wanting to be hurt anymore.
Even as I believed I’d lost everything, there remained things I couldn’t release from my grasp. Those precious people who survived that horror and never left my side, who remained in the Lilywood Duchy. The day I realized that if one of the two connected by a black chain died, the other couldn’t survive, they were the ones who stopped me from trying to erase myself to wipe Blaze from this world.
I took a deep breath. Perhaps Blaze could manipulate me so easily because of my weakness in not being able to let go of such people.
Lauren had quietly slipped in among those precious to me. I wanted, if possible, to remain buried in this gentle, quiet everyday life she’d given me for as long as I could. But Blaze had discovered Lauren’s existence. I couldn’t allow her to be hurt like those who had loved me. I didn’t want to see her sparkling violet eyes turn toward me filled with resentment and hatred.
I drained the remaining liquor in my glass and gripped the empty cup tightly. Now I had to move. I couldn’t remain any longer. I had to return Lauren to where she belonged.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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