I’m Sick of the Kind Protagonist, so I Might as Well Just Die - Chapter 66

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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#66
Perenustus rubbed his face until it burned, and only as dawn broke did he let his shoulders drop in defeat.
‘Let me get myself together.’
Even as he climbed the spiral staircase in a forced attempt at composure, arriving at his Office, a single word circled endlessly through his mind.
‘Lovely.’
The moment the thought crossed his mind, his desk flooded with academic interpretations of what “lovely” meant. Perenustus, still gripping the door handle, read the dense passages again and again before slowly shaking his head. After erasing every word, he sat before the desk and opened the system log, closed it, then opened it again in a meaningless cycle.
‘…I can’t concentrate.’
It felt less like a constraint disrupting his plans and more like one shattering his very focus.
It was unbearably unpleasant. Not the constraint itself, but the fact that the word refusing to leave his mind was somehow not unpleasant—that was what truly disturbed him.
‘Unnecessary deliberation.’
Perenustus waved his hand dismissively and shot up from his seat, clasping his hands behind his back. This was all because he had confronted the true form of the Ancient Gods. Normally, encountering their true form left him paralyzed by terror or delirious for a time.
‘So I’ll calm my mind and clear my head with a cup of tea….’
As he reached for his treasured teacup on the table, he cursed himself for detecting Aurelia’s traces even in it, and brushed his hands clean.
‘It’s a malfunction. A malfunction.’
There was nothing to think about regarding this phenomenon.
‘Right, it’s just a system error. That’s all.’
He stared at the teacup, then traced the places where Aurelia’s hands and lips had touched before squeezing his eyes shut.
‘I need to identify the cause of my malfunction. The clearest cause is witnessing the appearance of those old beings with my own eyes, so the logical step is to resolve this error of repeating that… that word.’
Perenustus opened his eyes and turned, leaving his Office.
‘If I directly observe the error with my own eyes, I can measure my condition more precisely. Yes, that’s right. A very rational decision.’
The hour when all the students slept—or rather, too early to wake them. The building was filled only with the sound of even breathing, undisturbed by noise. As he walked the corridor connecting his High Tower Office to the Dormitory wing, he repeatedly convinced himself that his judgment was entirely rational.
‘…And I’m making pathetic excuses too. I could just say I wanted to see her.’
That was it. He simply wanted to see her. This was the real problem.
‘Why do I want to see her? Why?’
He blamed the old door for the displeasure rising again and stared at the place he had arrived at.
‘Never mind all that—why is Aurelia in a place like this?’
He stood before a small door at the far end of the corridor in the most remote corner of the Female Dormitory. According to his memory, this place was a Storage Room.
‘Why can I sense Aurelia’s presence in a storage room?!’
His brow deeply furrowed, he started to turn the handle but changed his mind and simply passed through the door.
‘Of course. It is a storage room.’
It was a space too narrow to even be called a chamber. A single bed that had clearly once been a shelf, a single window barely large enough to fit a face through. That was all. Beneath the window, where light slanted in, Aurelia lay sleeping.
‘I get dragged away and she sleeps soundly. How audacious.’
Perenustus leaned his back against the old door and gazed intently at her peaceful face.
‘No, I told her to rest well, so she’s following my instructions. How obedient.’
Audacious or obedient—either way, he had satisfied the urge to see her, and he had also realized that even with the urge satisfied, the error in his mind remained. So he should leave now. But his feet would not move.
He swallowed dryly and approached the bedside without a sound. That was the moment.
Whoosh—
A silvery-white blade cut through the darkness, stopping just before his throat.
“…Your welcome is rather vigorous, I see.”
Perenustus lightly pushed Basilect’s blade aside with a finger, chiding her. Aurelia, who had summoned Basilect without even properly opening her eyes, blinked and rubbed them in confusion.
“Perenustus?”
“If you reflexively defended yourself without knowing who it was, that’s quite commendable.”
He clicked his tongue again, as if exasperated by his own words. First calling me troublesome, then praising me, then commendable. He was all over the place. While he rubbed his face, twisted with self-reproach, Aurelia creaked upright on what could hardly be called a bed.
“Nothing happened? Silpi said you’d be detained for days and scolded… but you’re free already.”
“I am no criminal. There’s nothing to be freed from.”
“Such bluster. You look like you’ve been thoroughly roughed up.”
In her eyes, still heavy with sleep, there was only my reflection. Perenustus, meeting his own image reflected in Aurelia’s gaze, eventually conceded after a moment of silence.
“You’re right. I was bluffing.”
Aurelia blinked and smiled brightly. Watching that smile, I recalled the words that had shocked me and furrowed my brow.
“Why are you in this place?”
“Leonas and Bilateia cleaned it up. They said it felt awkward leaving me alone in Perenustus’s Chamber, but also strange to rest by themselves.”
“Fearless. Confining the Creator’s mission to a Storage Room?”
“Why? This is the first proper chamber I’ve had since coming here, and I’m thrilled about it.”
“I could arrange a better room for-”
“No, no. This place suits me perfectly. If you sit here, you’ll understand why Perenustus would approve.”
About to dismiss this as nonsense, I yielded to Aurelia’s persistent urging and sat on the bed.
“How is it? Nice, right? When you sit, your feet touch the ground at just the right height, and when you lie down, moonlight streams right across your face.”
“….”
Perenustus said nothing, merely staring at Aurelia. She met his gaze, blinking away the lingering drowsiness, and tilted her head slightly.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“An error. A bug. A pest that corrupted a perfectly designed world. A plague that infects others. I find myself wondering why I gave such a being a name—a mission.”
“Oh, that? I received a revelation.”
“…A revelation?”
“When I named Mure, it just appeared in my mind—this is her name! It came to me like that.”
“A revelation… I see.”
Revelation was a word used to package phenomena that logic and reason couldn’t explain. But I judged that this extraordinary occurrence happening to me was best described as a revelation. Or perhaps—
“Today, I was bound by the Ancient Gods.”
“What? What kind of binding?”
“Any plan I devise from now on is destined to fail.”
“That’s… quite a fatal punishment for someone like Perenustus, isn’t it? When we first met, you were incredibly stressed about how I’d ruined everything.”
“Indeed. It’s fatal.”
“What will you do….”
“Before coming here, and before speaking these words aloud, I was thinking the same thing—what will I do.”
I stopped speaking and looked at Aurelia. This small person, sitting where our shoulders barely brushed, met my gaze.
“Well, things have a way of working out regardless.”
“That’s true.”
“Right? I just need to find a way to turn the constraint to my advantage.”
Perenustus thought himself foolish for nodding along with Aurelia, yet couldn’t suppress the smile rising to his lips. If naming this remarkable error—this glorious anomaly that even the Ancient Gods couldn’t look away from—as “my mission” was a kind of revelation… then I had no choice but to accept it.
“Oh, but thinking about it, it’s similar to the curse Silpi placed on me.”
“It really is.”
“As someone cursed similarly, let me offer you some advice: there’s no need to worry too much. Whether I pay attention to it or not, things seem to roll along adequately enough.”
“…Yeah. You certainly don’t seem to care.”
Perenustus gave an ambiguous agreement and shifted his gaze toward the window. Aurelia’s laughter flickered across his half-turned cheek.
“After all, things were already ruined from the start. What does it matter if plans go awry and I die frequently? As long as it doesn’t collapse spectacularly, somehow everything works out!”
“Already ruined from the start… I’ve learned yet another expression I wish I’d never known.”
At his words, Aurelia laughed a bit louder. Perenustus, thinking that even this moment, right now, wasn’t so bad, let out a sigh deep enough to make the earth cave in.
Truly, it seemed things had been ruined quite thoroughly.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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