I Won’t Pick Up The T*ash I Threw Away Again - Chapter 199

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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#199

Is this what love is supposed to be like?

When I can’t see her, I want to see her.

When I’m looking at her, I want to hold her.

When I’m holding her, I want to kiss her.

When I’m kissing her, I want more, to delve deeper.

Yet at the same time, I don’t want to do anything that would trouble her.

Just looking at her makes me happy and fills my heart to bursting.

This unfamiliar sensation I was experiencing for the first time in my life felt very strange.

It was awkward like wearing ill-fitting clothes, but I was still happy.

I never wanted to escape from this happiness.

But then, knock knock, the sound of knocking stole away his happiness.

When Leilah pushed him away again, Kalian glared at the door as if he would devour whoever was on the other side.

“Don’t look like that, Your Majesty.”

Leilah smiled and soothed Kalian before telling the person to come in.

“Baron Aster…”

The administrator who entered while calling for Leilah hesitated when he saw Kalian radiating a fierce aura.

“Your Majesty.”

At this, Leilah called Kalian’s name reproachfully. With just that one word, Kalian’s intimidating presence subsided.

“What’s the matter?”

“Well, this…”

The administrator showed Leilah the documents he had brought while glancing nervously at Kalian.

But why are they talking so close together?

They could talk just fine standing three steps apart.

Oh great, now their hands are touching.

It was a natural occurrence from looking at documents together and pointing things out, but Kalian frowned because he didn’t like it.

Leilah, who noticed Kalian’s feelings, occasionally sent him glances telling him to stay still.

…She’s a complete beast tamer.

And he was the beast being tamed by her.

A beast and a beast tamer. It was a combination he liked.

That was because a beast only obeys its tamer and loses its reason and goes on a rampage without the tamer.

It was exactly the same as his own nature.

“So never abandon me.”

After the administrator left and they were alone again, Kalian grasped Leilah’s hand and spoke.

“What do you mean?”

Leilah tilted her head at his incomprehensible words.

“Exactly what I said.”

Why is even this expression so pretty? This must be what being love-struck is like.

“Don’t abandon me, Leilah. Allow me to stay by your side for life.”

Kalian smiled faintly and lightly kissed Leilah’s scarred palm.

* * *

“Here are the Casiwood dispatch documents.”

At those words, I flinched and took the documents the administrator handed me.

The person being dispatched to Casiwood was none other than Fillen.

Even though I tried not to care about him, considering everything that had happened, it wasn’t easy.

“Understood.”

Still, unlike before, I was able to appear indifferent on the surface.

I had actually become much more numb to it. Before, just thinking about Fillen would irritate me and make my heart sting, but now I hardly felt that way anymore.

After the administrator left, I read through the documents thoroughly.

Fillen would leave for Casiwood in four days. He would depart with the delegation from the Kingdom of Stella.

“What are you reading?”

While I was reading the documents, Baron Delrond entered.

“I’m reading the Casiwood dispatch documents.”

“I see… What?!”

Baron Delrond was startled and reached out his hand.

“Please give me those documents. I’ll handle them.”

“Baron Delrond is busy with other matters. So I’ll handle this myself.”

“But…”

Baron Delrond hesitated and watched my reaction.

I understood why he was reacting this way since it involved Fillen.

“It’s really fine.”

“What’s fine?”

With a low voice, a hand suddenly appeared from behind and took the documents I was holding.

It was Kalian. He read the contents with a serious expression, then handed them to Baron Delrond.

“Ber, you handle this.”

“No. I should…”

When I tried to take the documents back, Kalian stopped me.

“Let Ber handle this matter.”

“But Baron Delrond has many other responsibilities.”

“That’s the same for you as well.”

Unable to argue back, I smiled awkwardly.

“Leilah, if you want to do something, I want to let you do anything.”

Kalian raised his eyebrows and grasped my shoulders.

“But absolutely not this time. No, from now on, never handle anything related to Duke Williot.”

Perhaps because Fillen was my former fiancé, Kalian was particularly hostile toward him.

Watching him like this made me concerned about Fillen suddenly going to Casiwood.

Could it be?

“Did Your Majesty perhaps send Duke Williot to Casiwood?”

Instead of answering, Kalian smiled and placed other documents in my hand.

“Leilah, take this to the Minister of Justice.”

It was an affirmation. I had thought it was strange that Fillen would suddenly volunteer to go to Casiwood, but I never expected this kind of secret was hidden behind it.

I could guess why Kalian did it without having to ask.

He wanted to separate Fillen from me.

‘Is this really okay?’

Fillen was the Empire’s commander-in-chief and Minister of the Marshal’s Office.

He was someone unnecessary to me, but someone essential to the Empire.

I felt uneasy about sending such a person to a remote region because of personal feelings.

“Understood.”

But I ignored it. Although I had become much more numb than before, seeing Fillen was still uncomfortable.

My desire for him to go far away to somewhere invisible like Andant was greater than my concern for the Empire, so I deliberately ignored my pricking conscience and turned around.

* * *

“She’s pretending not to know even though she understands everything.”

After Leilah left, Ber followed her trail with his eyes and muttered as if amazed.

“I thought Count Aster would say that personal feelings shouldn’t be mixed into official matters.”

“It means she dislikes Duke Williot that much.”

It also meant that she still cared about Fillen.

Kalian, who found this fact extremely displeasing, twisted his lips and snatched away the documents Ber was holding. They were the Casiwood dispatch papers.

Fillen was leaving for Casiwood.

That single fact alone lifted his mood that had plummeted to the floor.

‘I should completely erase him this time.’

He would completely erase all traces of Fillen from Leilah.

Kalian carefully checked the documents for any problems, then returned them to Ber.

“Proceed as planned.”

“But is it really alright to send Duke Williot to Casiwood? The absence of the Marshal’s Office minister would be quite damaging in many ways.”

“He hasn’t been here until now anyway.”

“It’s not like he was completely absent. He was at the Williot Duchy, which is only four days away.”

But Casiwood was a very distant domain that would take a full month of hard riding on horseback to reach.

“If something happens, it will be difficult to communicate like before.”

“Nothing will happen.”

Of course, it would be good if nothing happened, but what was he so confident about?

Ber let out a deep sigh inwardly.

Ber also knew well how absurd Fillen’s actions had been.

He also knew well how much Leilah had suffered and agonized because of it.

But that was a private matter. The Kalian he knew was someone who didn’t let private emotions interfere with public affairs.

Yet here he was, acting so emotionally.

“Love really is something amazing.”

Kalian chuckled and replied to Ber’s muttered words.

“It is amazing. So Ber, you should also find a partner and start a family.”

“…Why are you suddenly dragging me into this?”

“It’s not sudden. I’ve always hoped you would start a family. That way your children could also become administrators and work for the Empire.”

Ber frowned deeply.

“You want to put my unborn children to work too?”

“Put to work? That hurts my feelings. I simply hope your children will also be able to fully utilize their abilities.”

“You don’t even know if my children will have the ability to become administrators.”

“Hmm, that’s true.”

He wouldn’t even say they could be capable, not even as empty words.

Ber pouted, finding Kalian annoying.

“Anyway, I have no intention of marrying.”

“Why?”

“Because marriage isn’t something you do alone. Someone has to like me.”

“There’s Viscount Andrian.”

“Viscount Andrian? You don’t mean Diane Andrian from the Kingdom of Natsha, do you?”

When Kalian nodded, Ber gasped.

“Why suddenly Viscount Andrian…? No, more than that, how could someone like me be suitable for Viscount Andrian?”

“What’s wrong with it? As long as you both have feelings for each other.”

“Even so, what’s impossible is impossible.”

Diane was a princess of a ducal house, and he was just a baron.

Moreover, he wasn’t born into nobility but was someone who luckily became a noble because Kalian favored him. He was absolutely not a match for Diane.

“Most importantly, I have no feelings for Viscount Andrian.”

“Not now, perhaps.”

His sly smile was unsettling. It seemed like he was harboring some dark scheme.

“Don’t get any strange ideas, Your Majesty.”

“I won’t.”

As if. He was already thinking about it.

Ber wanted to stop him, but knowing he wasn’t someone who would listen, he gave up on that matter early on.

“Well then, I’ll be going.”

“Ah, Your Majesty.”

Something he wanted to ask suddenly came to mind, so Ber stopped Kalian as he was turning around.

“Have you told Count Aster?”

“Told her what?”

“What do you mean what? About the contract Your Majesty made with Duke Giltian.”

Kalian’s brow furrowed. Seeing him seriously contemplating, it seemed he hadn’t told Leilah yet.

“Are you not planning to tell Count Aster?”

“…I should tell her. It’s something she needs to know.”

“That’s right. Count Aster is involved in this matter too.”

Ber deliberately hardened his expression and spoke in a serious voice.

“It’s fine since there’s still time, but it would be better to tell her as soon as possible. That way Count Aster can prepare herself mentally.”

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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