I Won’t Pick Up The T*ash I Threw Away Again - Chapter 200

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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#200

“Shall we have dinner together today?”

Kalian brought up the topic just as the afternoon report had ended.

I paused from organizing documents and looked at Kalian. Meeting my gaze, Kalian tilted his head.

“What’s wrong? Do you have other plans for dinner?”

“It’s not that, it’s just that it’s been quite a while since Your Majesty suggested having dinner together.”

“Were you disappointed by that?”

“Of course not. I know perfectly well how busy Your Majesty is.”

Even aside from that, it was right to be careful so others wouldn’t notice our relationship.

Well, we used to have simple dinners together often before. Still, after becoming lovers with His Majesty, I found myself being conscious of others’ attention.

In the Eastern Country, they call this “a thief’s feet tingling,” don’t they?

“I’m grateful that you’re considerate of me, but I’m a little disappointed.”

Disappointed?

Wondering if I had misspoken, I carefully retraced my memories, but there wasn’t anything particularly wrong.

“If I made any mistakes, please tell me.”

Even if I thought it was fine, it might have upset him, so I asked.

“You didn’t make any mistakes.”

Kalian rested his chin on his hand and smiled.

“I just want to see you act spoiled with me, so you don’t need to blame yourself unnecessarily.”

Act spoiled? How could I dare act spoiled with His Majesty? It was absurd and impossible.

“You just thought it was impossible, didn’t you?”

…Mind reading, perhaps?

“If our relationship was simply that of aide and superior, it wouldn’t make sense for you to act spoiled with me. I wouldn’t have wanted that either.”

Kalian pushed the documents to one side and gently took my hand.

“But you’re my lover.”

“…!”

Lover. Just hearing it made my heart flutter.

“So you can act spoiled with me.”

Kalian gently stroked the back of my hand with his thumb.

“Ask me to stay with you, or to do something for you. If you have any wishes, feel free to tell me anything. I’ll grant them all.”

“What if I make some strange request?”

“I don’t mind. Even if you asked for this position, I’d be willing to give it to you.”

By this position, does he mean the Emperor?

“Your Majesty!”

When I called out in surprise, Kalian laughed and stood up.

“That’s how much I want you to act spoiled with me.”

Kalian lightly grasped my waist and lifted me onto the desk.

“I want you to rely on me more.”

The items on the desk scattered everywhere. I thought I should quickly pick them up, but I couldn’t.

“I want you to look only at me.”

It was because Kalian kissed me.

The soft sensation enveloping my lips made my mind go hazy. Hot breath of unknown origin spread across my skin.

If there was something I could never get used to no matter how many times we did it, it was kissing him.

I had kissed Kalian countless times, more than I could count on both hands, but each time felt unfamiliar and new.

I wrapped my arms around Kalian’s neck and entrusted everything to him.

Tremors starting from my toes gradually emptied my mind to pure white.

Kalian was passionate yet persistent. Being swept away by him helplessly, I found myself lying on the desk before I knew it.

“…”

For a moment, everything stopped as if time had frozen.

Kalian and I looked at each other while breathing heavily.

Cold air seeped through the slightly disheveled hem of my clothes. The area between my collarbones felt cool.

The hot sensation touching my thigh was something I knew all too well.

I knew it so well that my face burned. Too embarrassed to look at Kalian’s face, I buried my face in his firm shoulder.

“…Ha.”

Hot breath spread over my head. The hand gripping my waist tightened.

“It’s hard to endure.”

Kalian held me tightly and kissed the top of my head.

“I want to cherish you, but I keep getting greedy and it’s troublesome.”

Kalian muttered self-deprecatingly.

“I wasn’t someone who lacked patience like this.”

Patience.

Come to think of it, Kalian was a physically healthy young man.

Usually men have more… vigorous sexual desires than women, they say.

I had never experienced it, but I knew the theory well.

The lessons to become Duchess Williot included nighttime duties as well.

According to the baroness who taught me about nighttime duties then, men have affairs or take mistresses because they can’t handle their overflowing sexual desires.

So as long as they don’t cause problems, overlooking it is a virtue, she said.

Then and now, I thought that baroness’s story was nonsense.

If one is single or in a political marriage perhaps, but how could one look elsewhere when they have someone they love?

Even if it was a political marriage, if you promised before God to spend your life together, not straying would be courtesy toward your partner.

‘But most people don’t do that.’

Not just men, but women also frequently took lovers. Even among the noble ladies I knew, there were more than ten.

It’s just that while men are forgiven for having affairs or mistresses, women are pointed at with fingers, so everyone keeps quiet about it.

Anyway, many people considered taking lovers or having affairs natural.

Even the late Duke Williot, who was quite devoted to his wife, had several mistresses in the past as far as I knew.

Count Tebesa, no, Count Tebesa goes without saying, and Countess Tebesa, who was fed up with Count Tebesa’s philandering, secretly kept a lover too.

Countess Tebesa’s children also had serious histories with women.

Fillen also boldly brought his pregnant mistress to the manor.

‘…Looking at it this way, I seem to be the strange one.’

While letting out a hollow laugh, I was curious about what Kalian thought.

But I couldn’t ask. If he had different thoughts from mine, it would be truly devastating.

Moreover, Kalian was the Emperor. For imperial heirs, he would have to take at least two imperial consorts.

I might become one of those imperial consorts, and another woman might sit in the Empress position.

Realistically speaking, the latter was more likely.

“…”

Suddenly thinking of another woman beside Kalian made anger surge within me.

Though I borrowed the power of alcohol, the reason I gathered courage was because I didn’t want to see that sight, but I had momentarily overlooked the fact that he was the Emperor.

‘When that day comes, it can’t be helped, but… not before then.’

I didn’t want to share Kalian with anyone else, not even for a moment.

So, so…

“Today… shall I stay here for the night?”

“…!”

What did I just say?

Panicking, I hastily closed my mouth, but I had already spoken. I couldn’t take the words back.

Kalian stared at me with wide eyes. It was the most surprised expression I had ever seen from him.

“That, that is…”

“…”

“Well, I…”

I know I need to fix this quickly, but I don’t know what to say or how to say it.

I couldn’t look directly at Kalian’s face and fidgeted with my head deeply bowed.

“I-I’ll take my leave now.”

In the end, I chose to run away.

In my flustered state, I somehow managed to gather the documents I needed to take, greeted him, and frantically left Kalian’s office.

* * *

After Leilah left.

“….”

Kalian stood there like a stone statue waiting for her husband’s return.

He looked at the door through which Leilah had left.

Then looked at the desk where traces of their passionate kiss still remained.

Finally, he recalled the last words she had said.

“Today… shall I stay and sleep here?”

Whoosh-

Kalian’s face instantly turned red as if it had caught fire.

Kalian covered his mouth with one hand and lowered his head.

Leilah’s words echoed continuously in his mind like a reverberation.

Shall I stay and sleep here today?

Stay and sleep here today….

Today here….

“Two audience requests have come in for today, Your Majesty.”

“…!”

Kalian, awakened from his sweet fantasy by the sudden voice, looked up in surprise.

“What’s wrong, Your Majesty.”

Then he saw Ber looking at Kalian with strange eyes.

Behind him, Rahel was also visible.

Rahel, who made eye contact with Kalian, asked worriedly.

“Your complexion is flushed, Your Majesty.”

My face is red?

Kalian looked at his reflection in the hand mirror on the desk.

As Rahel said, his face was very red. Even his partially visible ears were bright red.

Ber also asked with some concern.

“Don’t you have a fever? You should have the court physician examine you.”

“No need.”

He knew better than anyone why his face had turned red.

Even if he had the court physician examine him, they would only give some nonsense about being tired, so Kalian refused.

“So you said two audience requests came in?”

“Yes. And the recommendation letter from the Academy also arrived today.”

Although it hadn’t even been a year since Leilah became the Emperor’s aide, they were still short-handed.

So Kalian had requested the Imperial Academy to recommend suitable people.

“It’s only arriving now? That took a long time.”

“They said it took a long time to screen because there were more applicants than expected. There are not only graduating students but also graduates.”

“I see. I’ll look at the list myself, so bring it.”

Ber said he would bring it right away and went outside.

Rahel filled his place.

“His Highness the Prince heard that Your Majesty and Count Aster are having dinner together today and said he would like to join.”

“Denied.”

As much as Hes liked and followed Leilah considerably, he usually wanted to accommodate him, but not today.

Because he had very important things to discuss with her.

“Today… shall I stay and sleep here?”

“….”

At the same time, Leilah’s voice echoing again made Kalian frown deeply. The wrinkles between his handsome brows were deep.

“What’s wrong, Your Majesty?”

“…No, nothing.”

Kalian let out a long sigh and waved his hand.

“You may go now.”

At the dismissal, Rahel bowed and turned around.

“…Wait.”

Just before Rahel left, Kalian called him back.

Kalian stroked his chin and was silent for a moment, then continued hesitantly, unlike himself.

“Count Aster might stay over… so prepare a room as well.”

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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