Will You Cry for Me If I Die? - Chapter 76

—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————

Chapter 76

A snowball touched my shoe and crumbled.

The moment it touched, its shape collapsed.

When it breaks apart, it’s like an explosion, which is funny.

A quiet explosion.

I pressed down my laughter firmly.

I rolled my lips inward.

Lermiel slowly came out to the courtyard.

The door opened again and then closed.

When he stepped on the snow, there was hardly any sound.

Even when his feet touched down, it didn’t sink much.

Quiet steps are the steps of someone who hides.

Similar to me.

I liked that a little.

Lermiel stood next to me and asked.

The distance was neither close nor far.

“Snow, like it.”

I nodded my head.

My head moved up and down once.

“Good.”

Lermiel said quietly.

His voice was laid out low.

“Me too.”

If two people like something, we can like it together.

It’s not strange to stand together.

If we like the same thing, we can become friends!

I thought that and smiled secretly.

Sunlight falling on the snow sparkled.

Small particles caught the light, sparkled, then disappeared.

Theodor glanced at Lermiel briefly, then asked me.

His gaze moved away shortly then returned.

“You’re going to become friends with him.”

I didn’t answer right away.

My mouth wouldn’t open.

The word “becoming friends” is long.

It needs time.

If it’s long, it’s dangerous.

It can be cut off in the middle.

Instead, I grabbed a handful of snow and packed it together.

Snow came between my fingers.

It pressed against my gloves.

Because I had gloves on my hands, it wasn’t cold.

The cold sensation didn’t touch directly.

I held out that snowball to Lermiel.

I stretched my arm forward.

Lermiel blinked for a moment.

His gaze went down from my hand to the snowball.

He asked.

“This, giving to me.”

I nodded my head.

I didn’t hesitate.

“Yeah.”

Lermiel took the snowball.

He carefully took it without our hands touching.

He very carefully packed the snow more.

His fingers moved slowly.

He pressed, then released, then pressed again.

Carefulness is the habit of someone experienced.

Hands that try not to break things.

The snowball he made was round and solid.

The surface was smooth.

If it’s solid, it lasts long.

It doesn’t break easily.

If it lasts long, it doesn’t disappear.

I liked that.

Then Theodor suddenly sprinkled snow on me silently.

Snow dropped onto my head with a thud.

I stopped for a moment, then immediately brushed my head with my hand.

And I said very firmly.

“Theodor, I’m angry.”

My words came out in one line.

Theodor’s eyes widened and he stepped back.

He asked.

“Really?”

I nodded my head.

“Really.”

Lermiel laughed very quietly beside us.

That laughter mixed thinly with the wind.

I didn’t dislike that wind.

I packed snow again and rolled it in front of Theodor’s feet.

The rolling snow hit his boots and broke apart.

Theodor became dazed.

I nodded my head.

“This is a warning!”

Theodor opened his mouth then closed it.

And he slowly nodded his head.

“Got it.”

Seeing him speak dejectedly, I kept wanting to laugh.

* * *

The snow that had been falling since morning piled up more through the night.

Thick white lines rested on every edge of the roof.

Below the window frames, frozen water droplets hung down long.

All the footprints in the courtyard had disappeared.

All traces left yesterday were covered.

The pressed places, the dug holes, the connected paths all became flat.

Disappeared traces make the heart comfortable.

If nothing remains, you won’t be chased.

I pressed my nose against the window and looked for a long time.

The glass was cold, so my nose tip hurt a little.

When I breathed, mist formed thinly on the glass then disappeared.

The world visible beyond the glass was quiet.

It felt as if sounds had been pushed far away.

Even the snow piled on tree branches remained there without falling.

When it’s quiet, it seems safe.

If you don’t move, they don’t attack.

When I feel safe, my stomach gets hungry again.

The feeling of emptiness inside my stomach rose up.

I rubbed my stomach and got down from the bed.

When my feet touched the floor, coldness rose up again.

When coldness rises up, my body hesitates for a moment.

Still, I didn’t climb back up.

Today I put on gloves first.

I grabbed the gloves placed at the head of the bed.

I pushed my fingers in one by one.

The cloth followed to fit my hands.

When I wear gloves, my hands hurt less.

The cracked gaps don’t touch directly.

When it hurts less, my heart becomes less sharp.

The tearing feeling decreases.

When I opened the door, the smell of bread came from the corridor.

The warm scent filled the space between the air.

The smell that had been touching the wall spread inward.

The smell of bread doesn’t run away.

It seems impossible to catch, but if you follow it, there’s an end.

I quickly moved my feet following that smell.

Because my legs are short, my steps were frequent.

When I walk fast, my short legs make me busier.

My busily moving toes made sounds as they tapped the floor.

The sounds continued softly.

My busily moving toes were amusing, so I pressed down my laughter alone.

My lips went up a little then came back down.

Iden was waiting for me in front of the dining hall.

He stood leaning against the side of the door.

Iden was pretending to be fine today too, but he had flour on his head.

White powder remained like dots on his black hair.

Flour is white like snow.

Even small drops are noticeable.

I saw that and said immediately.

“Snow on head.”

Iden hesitated then felt around his own head.

His hand went up.

“What’s this.”

He asked.

I pointed at the top of his head with my finger.

My gloved fingertip pointed upward.

“There.”

Iden smiled and bent down.

His height came down.

“Brush it off.”

I carefully brushed off the flour with my gloved hand.

I gently swept it away with my fingers.

The flour fell to the floor with soft taps.

White dots scattered small across the floor.

I don’t like things falling, but now it was okay.

It seemed like it wasn’t disappearing, but being moved.

Iden spoke in a small voice.

He pressed his words down low.

“Today is a special event.”

Special is a good word.

It means different from other days.

Good words give delicious things.

I nodded my head.

Inside the dining hall, there was a large container.

A wooden container sat heavily on the floor.

Inside the container, flour was piled up like a mountain.

The surface wasn’t even.

Traces of being touched by hands remained here and there.

Next to it were sugar and butter.

The sugar sparkled inside a glass bowl.

The butter was placed on a plate as a yellow lump.

The butter smell was strong.

A greasy fragrance spread through the air.

Strong smells make my stomach rumble more.

The inside seems more greatly empty.

I asked while climbing up onto a chair.

I climbed carefully so the chair legs wouldn’t scrape the floor.

“Eat?”

Iden nodded his head.

He answered briefly.

“Cookies.”

Cookies are crumbling sweets.

Even if the outside is hard, the inside breaks easily.

When they break, small pieces form.

The pieces scatter here and there.

Small pieces are easy to hide.

Even if you hold them in your hand, they’re not visible.

I had that thought and licked my lips once.

Even though there was nothing on the tip of my tongue, it moved.

Theodor came running in wearing an apron.

The door opened and the air shook.

He had only one side of his apron strings tied.

One side was tied, the other side was loose.

If it’s not tied, it falls.

When you move, it slides down more easily.

If it falls, you might trip.

It might catch on your feet.

I saw that and said.

“String.”

Theodor tilted his head.

His eyebrows went up.

“What.”

I pointed to the back of his waist.

My finger pointed toward the back.

“It’s undone.”

Theodor checked behind him and his face turned red.

His hand went around to his back.

He quickly tied the string while saying.

“You see things too well.”

Those words sounded like praise.

Words that see what’s wrong correctly.

Praise is a shield.

It blocks what comes from outside.

I received the shield.

I felt the inside of my body becoming solid.

“I’m smart!”

I said.

Theodor clapped his hands and burst into giggles.

Demian was standing by the door watching us.

He wasn’t leaning against the doorframe, but standing upright.

His shadow fell long across the floor.

He didn’t move his hands, but his eyes saw everything.

His gaze slowly moved back and forth between us.

He didn’t miss who was standing where, what they were holding, or even at what speed they were moving.

Seeing with eyes is cold.

It feels like touching even when hands don’t reach.

When it’s cold, you don’t make mistakes.

You don’t become disheveled.

I like that Demian doesn’t make mistakes.

—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————