The Prince’s Nanny, Her Specialty Is Assassination - Chapter 283

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 283. Choice (1)

“You were always like that.”

Ian muttered with his wet face.

“You were always someone who cared more about others than us.”

I couldn’t breathe.

Ian’s hand around my throat tightened even more.

I couldn’t believe he could exert this much strength even with poison spread throughout his body.

“We were both assassins, but while you were putting on airs maintaining that damn noble conviction of yours, I was busy cleaning up your messes in The Organization.”

“I kn-know…”

“You know? What do you know?”

Ian’s face contorted.

His broken smile looked precarious, as if it would crumble at any moment.

“I was so sick of your hypocrisy.”

Killing intent gradually added to his sobbing voice.

“You said with words that people and animals all have the same precious lives, but in the end you always picked and chose who you wanted to save.”

Women and children, talented people who could help the world.

Ian shrugged his shoulders while gripping my throat.

“Fine, I’ll give you women and children. But what’s the standard for determining talented people who could help the world? In the end, you decided arbitrarily, didn’t you.”

“I was…”

“Kayla, you know what? I had to lie to The Organization every time to cover up the hypocrisy you committed. I even took on missions you refused to accept.”

Still, it was bearable back then.

Ian muttered quickly in a small voice.

“Because I loved you then.”

A heart that could forget even one’s own limits for the sake of the other person.

To Ian, love was that kind of emotion.

“I thought you were different from me. I thought you were different from the guys in The Organization. I thought even your hypocrisy was an ideal that not just anyone could have.”

Lovers are always special.

Even when they’re not special, we expect them to be special people.

In a good way, of course.

“But in the end, you were just the same.”

Just a killer who chose to become a hypocrite to escape from her own guilt. Ian smiled looking at me with my ragged breathing.

“How could I just leave alone the you who killed our mother, the you who killed our family members.”

Ian took big steps forward while gripping my throat.

I could only step backward as he pushed forward.

Thud.

My back hit the half-charred terrace railing.

I gripped Ian’s wrist with both hands and stood on my tiptoes.

“If I die, you die too, Kayla.”

Ian’s breathing, filled with poison, grew increasingly rough.

“You know what? From the day I was caught by The Slave Trader and sold to The Organization, my only goal was revenge.”

I stood leaning against the railing as if I would fall at any moment.

I gritted my teeth and looked at Ian.

“Yes, there was a time when I dreamed of a different life.”

The blood vessels visible on his neck and hands had turned purple.

“But you shattered that.”

You, Kayla, and no one else.

A breeze from somewhere scattered Ian’s bangs.

“Why did it have to be you.”

That day, why did it have to be you who killed my mother.

Why did I have no choice but to love the person who killed my mother.

Ian muttered to himself in a self-deprecating tone.

“…I hoped it would be a dream when I opened my eyes.”

It would be nice if I could return to the time when I didn’t know the truth.

But even after sleeping and waking up every night, the world didn’t change, and the truth didn’t change either.

“…I shouldn’t have loved a woman like you.”

Why can people inflict greater wounds with a single word than wielding a sword? I felt like a dagger had been thrust into my heart at that casually spoken remark.

“…It wasn’t love.”

When I forced my mouth open while being strangled, a metallic sound flowed out.

“You didn’t love me. If it was love, how could you betray me like that?”

Ian’s eyebrows twitched at my words.

“I didn’t love you?”

He laughed helplessly as if he found it absurd.

“That’s ridiculous. Well then Kayla, did you ever truly love me?”

The Reed Bed, Mud Pit, bitter poison, contemptuous gazes.

It was a memory I couldn’t forget no matter how hard I tried.

“Well, there’s no way you’d know real love.”

Ian added mockingly.

“How would an orphan who doesn’t even know the importance of human life understand?”

A sharp tone flowed from between his lips.

“You wouldn’t know the sorrow of losing blood relatives, or the burden of carrying revenge for your family.”

“I…”

“You don’t need to make excuses. It would be strange if you, who killed people without a care all by yourself, understood love anyway.”

The moment his words grew long, Ian’s grip loosened slightly.

I took that opportunity to shake off his hand and step back.

“Kayla, if I hadn’t truly loved you.”

Ian glared at me as if he would kill me and recited.

“I wouldn’t have become this much of a madman.”

Strength entered my two hands gripping the railing.

I looked at Ian and slowly opened my mouth.

“…You really truly loved me.”

“Yes.”

“Then what about me?”

A somewhat deflated voice flowed from my mouth.

“Do you think I didn’t truly love you, Ian?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I was never your priority, not even once.”

Ian looked at me and raised one corner of his mouth.

“Your will was always the priority.”

You would accomplish what you thought was right by any means necessary. Even if your own life or your only lover’s life would be in danger.

“…I think you’re misunderstanding something.”

I said while gripping the railing tightly.

“Whatever you think, I truly loved you too.”

It was a fact I wanted to deny even now.

But the emotions my past self harbored were certainly not false.

“On the way here, there were dozens of opportunities to find and kill you, but I didn’t. That’s the proof.”

I think someone said something like that.

That my constantly looking out for and letting Ian go was ultimately because I had a heart that wanted to forgive him.

“Maybe I truly wanted to forgive you, who killed me.”

Even now, knowing I can’t and shouldn’t, I still…

Seeing myself having a conversation with you, who I cannot forgive, shows that I still.

“…truly don’t understand love.”

I bit my lower lip once and continued speaking.

“No, I do know what love is.”

The cold dawn wind brushed past my cheek.

Somehow I felt my body trembling little by little.

“Even without blood ties, even without family vengeance, I know.”

Emma, Emilia, Edwin, Kaiden taught me.

What real love is. What this heart that I can’t control at all is.

“…So I know well.”

I let go of the hand that had been gripping the balcony.

Somehow my face was excessively wet and uncomfortable.

“That your love for me was sincere, and that my love for you was also sincere.”

Ian was also someone who taught me love.

I loved him, and was loved by him.

So I could understand him. Late, but certainly.

“…But understanding and forgiveness are separate matters.”

Now I have people more precious to me than Ian.

To protect them, I couldn’t and shouldn’t forgive Ian.

“Farewell, Ian.”

The time limit was over.

Ian, with the poison spread through him, was already in a state where he couldn’t hear my words.

I slowly approached and touched my forehead to his. Like when The Angel comes to take the breath of the dead.

“…Don’t forgive me.”

It was a farewell I should have given long ago.

I finally gave a belated farewell to the lover I had parted from so long ago.

Waaaaaaah.

Cheers could be heard from somewhere.

Since there was no sign of the Palace being attacked, it seemed to be a signal that the Emperor’s faction was winning the fight.

“…”

I laid Ian’s corpse, now eternally asleep, on the floor.

And I sat there for a long time, kneeling before him.

Whiiiiiii.

Wind blew from afar once more.

As if enchanted by that wind, I slowly stood up and climbed onto the balcony.

‘Die, Kayla!’

‘You’re nothing but a human butcher.’

‘Just die!’

No, I promised to return.

I definitely promised those guys that.

Though I thought that in my head, my body moved separately.

‘Do I have the right to return to their side?’

The question that suddenly arose drove me onto the balcony.

‘I’m tired now.’

Of worrying, of protecting, of killing.

I looked down at my bloodstained hands and feet, then looked below the balcony.

Why did the ground somehow feel closer than usual?

‘Right, anyway.’

Now that it was exposed that I, who had been an assassin, was by the side of the Prince and Princess.

I had become nothing more than an unnecessary existence to those guys.

‘I will stay by The Prince’s side until he no longer needs me.’

It might be disappointing that the time when I’m not needed came sooner than expected.

I stared blankly down below and slowly extended my foot forward.

In an instant, my body tilted and the sensation of falling to the ground overwhelmed me.

Thwack.

Until someone grabbed my arm.

“You’re insane!”

It’s you again this time.

I slowly lifted my head.

Through my dazed vision, I could see Kaiden’s face.

“Are you crazy, Rachel Brown!”

Kaiden was shouting at me with an extremely angry face.

While putting all his strength into the hand that grabbed my arm.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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