The Prince’s Nanny, Her Specialty Is Assassination - Chapter 284

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 284. Choice (2)

“Damn it!”

Kaiden immediately pulled me up.

He held me in his arms and fell backward.

“What the hell were you doing! What were you thinking when you…!”

This was the first time I’d seen him this angry.

Kaiden was shouting while looking into my face, then suddenly stopped.

“You…”

His face turned pale when he saw the dagger embedded in my abdomen.

I could feel his large hands trembling as they touched the wound.

“Kaiden.”

Was it because I’d moved too much while bleeding?

Just calling his name felt like it was draining my strength.

“Don’t talk. We need to get out of here right now.”

Kaiden muttered rapidly to himself, half out of his mind.

“A physician, no, we need to call a mage. That white-haired mage is right downstairs…”

“Please, let me speak.”

Since this might be the last time.

I grabbed Kaiden’s arm as he tried to get up without hesitation.

“…Kaiden, I’ve finished my revenge.”

I could see Ian beyond Kaiden.

Ian, who lay there as a cold corpse by my hand.

“But…”

Ian’s skin, poisoned, was stained a dark red.

That miserable state was because of me.

“I thought I’d feel relieved once my revenge was over.”

My eyes stung.

I took a breath and steadied myself.

“It’s so painful.”

What came after the revenge was emptiness and pain.

So much so that I momentarily tried to end my own life.

“I really didn’t know.”

I remembered vividly the day Ian lost his family.

For me too, it was the day I massacred and burned an entire household.

“I didn’t know that woman was Ian’s mother.”

I didn’t know the corpse I threw into The Pyre with my own hands was Ian’s mother. It was just one of countless bodies my senior told me to dispose of.

“I didn’t know the child under the bed that day was Ian either.”

The moment I entered the room, I sensed tense breathing.

The breathing from under the bed was so loud and rough that even a novice like me could notice it.

“I just…”

I gasped for breath.

It felt like I was drowning.

“I just wanted that child to live.”

Too many people died that day.

I too had already stained my hands with the blood of many.

“But because I let that child live…”

I felt a crushing pressure, as if someone was pressing down on my chest.

I clutched my chest with trembling hands and continued.

“To learn that child lived in hell his entire life…”

An assassin trying to save someone’s life.

In the end, I was inflicting pain worse than death on the one I loved most.

“Even after that child learned the truth…”

I couldn’t even remember when it started.

Ian would whisper “I love you” to me like a mantra every time.

And he always wanted to hear me say I loved him too.

‘Was that also your struggle?’

Ian said he wanted to love me until the end.

Perhaps those daily confessions were like hypnosis he cast on himself.

“It’s really fucked up, but I understand…”

That’s why I couldn’t tell Ian the truth.

If he learned that I didn’t kill his mother, that I deliberately pretended not to notice him that day and left, Ian would go even more insane.

His entire life would be completely denied.

“But I couldn’t forgive him either…”

The pain of being unable to choose anything.

I had fallen into the same hell that Ian experienced.

“No matter how hard I tried, it was useless.”

Even if I didn’t spend the money earned from contracts on personal matters, even if I repeatedly let targets go and spared them on purpose.

“No matter how hard I tried, the fact that I’m an assassin never changed…”

Would it have been better to forget everything and become a laughing monster?

If I’d known that remaining human with a sense of shame would be this painful, I would have given up long ago.

“They all found out too.”

As the boundary between consciousness and unconsciousness blurred, words spilled out incoherently.

“What kind of person I am.”

I whispered while gripping Kaiden’s arm tightly.

“I’m so afraid.”

Emilia once asked me.

What I feared most in the world.

“…I’m so scared they might fear me.”

It wasn’t my heart I feared, but theirs.

I was so scared that death seemed preferable.

“What if Edwin, what if Emilia doesn’t forgive me?”

What if Ian’s curse really comes true?

What if those footsteps that always ran toward me, those smiles directed at me, all disappear?

“I’m so scared.”

Could I return as The Caretaker?

Those children now know what kind of person I am, what kind of past I have.

“I’m scared to go back to those children alive.”

What if those children also scream that it was all hypocrisy?

What if they say they don’t want to be near a butcher who killed people for money? What if they find out I’m actually this weak and pathetic person?

‘Where did it all go wrong?’

Was it helping the prince with the skills I learned back then, despite saying I hated assassination work?

Becoming an assassin? Being sold to slave traders? Missing Emma when The Temple was attacked? Or surviving even after being abandoned by my parents?

‘Maybe my very existence is wrong.’

A stupid, terrible hypocrite who only knows how to pretend to be strong.

After finishing my revenge, something inside me felt broken.

Every word Ian left behind seemed to tear through my heart.

“I…”

Just as I was tearing my own soul to pieces.

Kaiden quietly spoke.

“…I lived because of that hypocrisy you call whim.”

My vision had long since gone completely black.

I could feel my body swaying, so it seemed Kaiden was carrying me somewhere as he ran.

“And I’m grateful that you saved me back then.”

If I hadn’t survived then, I wouldn’t have been able to get revenge, wouldn’t have become king, and wouldn’t have met my nephews.

“At least I lived because of you. I lived because you told me to live.”

I could feel his heart beating beyond Kaiden’s chest that touched my skin.

Unlike his calm tone, his heartbeat was so fast it seemed ready to burst at any moment.

“Since I brought you back to life, live for my sake too.”

Even if you’re scared, even if you’re afraid, live.

Don’t fear the ending you haven’t seen yet, and live.

If you promised the children you’d return, keep that promise.

“You’re not an assassin, you’re a caretaker, Rachel Brown. That fact won’t change.”

Kaiden’s voice echoed in my ears like a reverberation.

“So don’t be afraid. Those children will be waiting for you.”

Would that really be true? Even as I was half-doubtful, Kaiden didn’t stop talking.

“And whatever kind of person you are, I’ll always be by your side.”

Was it my imagination if it sounded like he was pleading?

Kaiden’s sobbing-like voice echoed in my ears like a reverberation.

“Please live, Rachel.”

With those words as the last, my consciousness completely disappeared.

Into the unfathomable darkness with no end in sight.

* * *

“Kayla.”

It was a voice I missed.

I stared blankly at the person who appeared before my eyes.

“…Emma?”

It was exactly Emma’s appearance as I remembered her.

Her worn but neat dress, her hair neatly pinned up, and even that beautiful smile she always showed so kindly.

“Emma!”

I reached my hand toward Emma.

But no matter how hard I tried, my hand couldn’t reach her.

“Kayla.”

Emma looked at me like that and smiled brightly.

“Do you want to come with me?”

Why are you asking something so obvious?

I bit my lips and reached my hand toward Emma once more.

No, I tried to reach.

“I hope you won’t follow me.”

“…Are you leaving me behind again?”

My parents abandoned me, and my lover abandoned me too.

I didn’t want to be abandoned anymore.

“You think you were abandoned? Do you really think that?”

Emma looked at me with a sad face.

“Kayla, no matter how sad you are, you mustn’t abandon yourself.”

She spoke with her hands folded neatly together.

“As long as you don’t abandon yourself, the world won’t abandon you either.”

“…Don’t say empty words.”

I clenched my fists with my head lowered.

“I’m sick and tired of life now. I don’t need pain or happiness anymore.”

“Then won’t you grant my wish?”

A wish? What wish?

I slowly raised my head after hearing Emma’s words.

“My last wish, I mean.”

Emma’s last wish. What was that again?

“You promised to make those children happy, didn’t you?”

I frowned.

“I’m an assassin. So how could someone like me make children happy…”

“Kayla, look over there.”

Emma raised her arm and pointed behind me.

“Those children are waiting for you.”

A bright light entered the space of unknown location.

I slowly turned my head.

“Neitche!”

“Rachel!”

On the lush grassland.

Two children wearing crowns made of woven clover were waving their hands at me.

“Kayla.”

I stopped walking toward the children without realizing it and turned my head.

Emma looked into my eyes and smiled.

“I was happy during the time I spent with you. But I couldn’t protect you until the end. Do you resent me for this?”

There’s no way I would.

I opened my mouth to say something, but no voice came out.

But Emma smiled brightly as if she knew everything.

“Yes, so don’t be afraid and go back.”

It would be nice if even my fingertips could touch her.

I reached my hand toward Emma one last time.

“I always love you, Kayla.”

Her words became a spell that enveloped my body.

Emma suddenly disappeared through the pure white light.

“Rachel! Rachel, are you conscious?”

“Caretaker! Please call the physician! Quickly!”

At the same time, other voices I missed rang out from all directions.

“Rachel! Racheeel! Waaahhh!”

Through my slowly returning vision, I saw a golden furry bundle covered in tears.

Just like that first day I opened my eyes after entering this body.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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