The Murderous Duke's Domestic Affairs - Chapter 36

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 36
Aster Veil Lilywood closed the office door. The lock clicked shut with a sound that echoed through the entire room, though he barely heard it. He tried to settle into the long sofa as usual, but his legs gave way before he could sit, and he collapsed to the floor.
It seemed he didn’t want anyone to witness him in such a state. On his knees, half-collapsed forward, he exhaled a long, shuddering breath. The meeting with Blaze Lilywood had clearly taken more out of him than he’d anticipated.
I thought I was past this.
I should be able to face my twin brother without difficulty, yet my stomach churns now. I forced down the rising nausea that threatened to overwhelm me.
Then, slowly and deeply, I drew breath. Even as my breathing should have steadied long ago, the exhale continued to tremble. There was no way this would improve. I fought to suppress the quickening panic in my chest.
I couldn’t control my breathing. Each inhale tightened around my throat. My vision blurred. Clear droplets fell onto the floor—tap, tap. The hands that had gripped Blaze’s ankle during our encounter now seemed to constrict my entire body, as if saying: Why are you here? Your place is in that pool of blood.
What right did I have to shed tears? The people of the Lilywood Duchy died because of me. It would have been far better if I had died instead and the others had lived.
My clenched fists trembled violently. I wished I could lose consciousness. Then, at least, the thoughts would stop.
The nightmare of that day—when the mansion ran red—consumed me from the nerve endings outward. I wanted to escape it, but I couldn’t. If I could, I would flee far away, yet I remained trapped. The phantom scent of blood, long since faded, and screams that should have been silent filled my mind and bound my entire body.
I pressed my forehead to the floor. My long golden hair scattered across it without care. The sobs I’d been forcing down began to leak through.
Would these tears serve as mourning for the servant and his parents who lost their lives at Blaze’s hand? Such grief couldn’t even reach his feet. If tears could atone, I could weep forever.
But that wasn’t possible.
Whether from tears or suffocation, my vision grew hazy. Still on my knees, half-collapsed, my body slowly toppled to the side.
I shouldn’t be here like this. But despite reason’s command to rise and move, my body—unable to breathe properly—had no strength to obey even a single finger.
‘If you hated me so much, if you despised me that much, you could have just killed me. Why didn’t you?’
Long ago, when I was still young, I had asked Blaze this through tears. It had been the middle of the night then too, and we had met alone like this. In my hazy mind, only Blaze’s voice answering my question echoed loudly.
‘Then I wouldn’t get to see you suffer, Aster.’
Blaze had said this with a smile. His voice when he spoke my name was so tender. The horrific scene Blaze had orchestrated to punish those who loved his younger brother—not the rightful heir, but his younger brother—pulled me back into nightmare. I couldn’t turn away from it, and I shouldn’t have.
Lauren.
Muttering her name silently, I lay on my side with my eyes closed. Blaze’s voice asking if I liked Lauren echoed anew in my ears.
Perhaps he was right. I struggled to maintain the short, shallow breaths that threatened to stop at any moment. In the darkness creeping across my mind, violet eyes sparkled for an instant before fading away.
Blaze was perceptive. I didn’t know what he’d seen to say such a thing, but it was likely correct. No matter what anyone said, Lauren was beautiful, and she drew attention accordingly.
Lauren Siaz.
When I first met her, I accepted her marriage proposal without much deliberation because she was the daughter of Marquis Siaz, who had shown me favor. As she had said, Lauren was an excellent administrator. Even the Emperor, whom I met at the Imperial Ball, showed displeasure, but a marriage already made couldn’t be undone.
It should have been nothing more than that.
A pretext to avoid marriage with the child called Imperial Princess. A useful tool—an excellent administrator and mentor. But it wasn’t. Lauren was far too beautiful. That was an undeniable fact. And I wasn’t the only one who felt it. Even Crown Prince Abarid Bestes showed interest in her, which made it easy to see.
Blaze was right. The black hair I’d touched without thinking was smoother than anything I’d ever seen before, and those transparent violet eyes that sparkled like jewels kept capturing my gaze. Her smile was beautiful enough to make it difficult to look away. When I saw her and Letti Torres sitting close together as she tutored him, something twisted inside me. When I deliberately created study sessions to sit across from her, I had to struggle to redirect my gaze, which wanted only to focus on her. Her laugh was enchanting, her voice soothing.
When had it started? I forced my trembling lips still. Perhaps it was inevitable that Blaze noticed. Without realizing it, I had been swayed by Lauren.
When she was slapped by Delania Siaz, I became furious as if I’d lost my mind. When I was forced to drink the alcohol Abarid offered and lost consciousness, or when her uncle, Marquis Siaz, raised his voice, I thought about drawing my sword and making the ‘murderer’ pay for angering me.
But I couldn’t. I wasn’t the ‘murderer,’ and if I acted recklessly, it wouldn’t only harm the House of Lilywood—it would hurt Lauren too.
I had never wavered before. Even swinging my sword on the battlefield, I’d never thought of becoming a true ‘murderer.’ But now, unable to control my own heart, everything felt like a mess. Since Lauren appeared before me.
That’s why Blaze’s words shook me so greatly. If he hadn’t said such a thing, I probably would have never realized my own feelings. I would have continued as I always had, clinging to the dead.
Lauren was like a stone cast into my life. She shattered the heart frozen quiet as a winter lake and stirred it into chaos. I was helplessly swept away by emotions I’d never felt before. It was a fierce storm that seemed to destroy the fragile peace I’d barely maintained.
No, that wasn’t right. I immediately denied my own thought. Lauren hadn’t destroyed peace. She had shattered the purposeless routine I’d been living through, having abandoned everything. Perhaps I should be grateful. Though I could never say so.
A faint smile crossed my lips. My ragged breathing had long since calmed. But perhaps due to the tension, my eyelids felt heavy. I thought I wouldn’t be able to sleep, but this was better. Even sleep like this was welcome. There was still much to think about, but now it was impossible.
My mind had completely shut down, unable to continue thinking. I didn’t even have the strength to crawl to the bed inside the office, let alone the long sofa beside it. I simply closed my eyes.
* * *
The break I’d been waiting for, waiting so long for, had finally arrived. I could only see my parents twice a year during these short holidays, so I was tremendously excited. I wanted to boast about my excellent final exam scores.
They would surely smile and praise me. The grandfather, the Butler, and the servants who adored me would all say I’d done wonderfully.
As Aster Veil Lilywood had anticipated, his parents embraced him warmly upon his return after so long. Blaze Lilywood was absent, but this was common enough that he paid it no mind. They shared a pleasant lunch together, and he attended several social gatherings in Blaze’s stead.
In truth, I had never been particularly fond of such social events, but I attended willingly for the sake of pleasing my parents.
The brief holiday had to end as all things do—short yet joyful, brimming with happiness. Leaving behind a lingering sense of longing, I returned to the Military Academy, eagerly awaiting letters from my parents and the next break. But what awaited me was far from such peaceful routine.
As the holiday drew to a close, I was returning from yet another meaningless social gathering attended in Blaze’s place. Winter’s early darkness had already begun to settle, and twilight crept across the surroundings.
As I descended from the carriage, I suddenly lifted my gaze. An inexplicable unease flooded my chest. The servants who should have been waiting at the mansion’s entrance were nowhere to be seen.
I drew a deep breath to calm my unsettled heart. My hand trembled as I gripped the door handle. Perhaps it was the instincts honed through military training, but the moment my palm touched the cold metal, an inexplicable dread surged through my entire body.
Should I open the door, or should I flee? Somehow, I sensed that crossing this threshold would set in motion events from which there could be no return.
After a brief moment of hesitation, I tightened my grip on the handle. Even if I had sworn to live merely as a soldier bearing the name Aster Veil Lilywood, I remained a cherished member of the Ducal House. I felt anew the weight of a door I had never once opened with my own hands. I pushed it open with my shoulder and stepped inside. By the time the air within filled my lungs, the door had already closed behind me.
Blood. The scent was familiar enough to me from my time at the Military Academy. Some cadets engaged in fistfights fueled by youthful vigor, and others sustained injuries from inexperience with the blade. Yet never had I encountered a smell of such intensity.
This was not the Military Academy but the Duke’s Mansion in the Capital. There should be no reason for the reek of blood to permeate this place. Yet here it hung in the air—thick, suffocating, undeniable.
I had to flee. My instincts screamed it.
But I could not flee. I forced my unresponsive legs to move. The Lobby, where servants had always bustled about, stood empty and silent.
Whether this was a mercy or a curse, I could not say. I swallowed down the rising nausea with effort. My toes trembled. Yet still, I walked down the Corridor, my fists clenched and shaking.
But I had not gone far before I was forced to stop. Though I stood in what was unmistakably the Corridor of the Duke’s Mansion, everything was drenched in crimson. As if someone had painted it all with pigment. Yet the stench of blood that assailed my nostrils made clear that this scarlet was no mere paint.
Staggering, I instinctively pressed my hand against the wall. The red substance smeared wetly across my palm. I stared down at my hand in a daze. The vivid hue, the thick metallic stench—my head spun violently.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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