My Unrequited Love Is an Absolute Secret - Chapter 75

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 75

I needed someone to talk to.
If I didn’t confide in someone, I felt like I would suffocate.
But not my parents or Robin.
I couldn’t let my family know about Jessie’s situation.
Not Faye either.
Ever since it was revealed that she had been stalking Aemerus, things had become awkward between us.
In the end, I had only one choice left.
Aemerus.
I called him on my phone.
I worried that he might not answer since he’d only returned from Chicago the night before, but my concern was unfounded.
-Harry?
He picked up immediately, as if he’d been waiting for my call.
“Aemerus…”
Just hearing his familiar voice made tears threaten to spill over again.
“Can we meet now?”
Aemerus readily agreed to my request.
When I thought about it, he had always been there whenever I needed him.
At homecoming, at Halloween, and now.
I declined his offer to pick me up and took a taxi instead.
And during the ride to his house, I tried to calm my turbulent emotions.
But the moment I saw him waiting outside, all my efforts proved futile.
I quickly paid the taxi driver and hurried toward Aemerus.
“What’s wrong?”
Aemerus scanned me with his eyes as he asked.
His gaze was filled with concern, as if checking whether I was hurt.
“Didn’t I tell you I was meeting JJ today?”
“Can we go inside somewhere and talk about this?”
Aemerus nodded at my question.
“Let’s go to my house. It’s empty right now.”
If it had been anyone other than Aemerus saying this, I would have declined.
I wasn’t naive enough to misunderstand what it meant to be alone with someone in an empty house.
But Aemerus was someone I could trust.
And he was exactly the person I needed right now.
“Okay.”
I managed to nod, holding back the tears that threatened to overflow.
Since I’d registered as a visitor before, I didn’t need to go through any procedures today.
When Harry arrived at Aemerus’s House by elevator, I settled onto the living room sofa.
“Sorry, my room still isn’t completely organized.”
Since he must have arrived in New York by plane last night, I couldn’t fault him for it.
“Can I get you something to drink?”
“No. I’m fine.”
My throat felt as though someone were pricking it with thorns, and I didn’t think I could swallow anything.
Aemerus, who had seemed about to head toward the Kitchen, nodded and sat beside me.
As always, he maintained a comfortable distance between us.
“JJ didn’t show up today either?”
He asked carefully.
He seemed to recall the text conversation he’d had with Harry yesterday.
That would have been better.
Being stood up by Jessie again would have been preferable to knowing this cruel truth.
It would have been better never to know his secret at all.
“No. I did meet with Jessie.”
“Then?”
“I… I heard something really strange.”
Aemerus narrowed his brow, signaling that he was listening intently.
“There was a man named Marius there with him, and he said that Jessie is actually working as an escort.”
“….”
“I was stupid enough not to know what an escort job was. But it turned out to be a dating service. And apparently, if you pay extra, they can do even more than that.”
Harry muttered to myself like someone half out of their mind.
“Now I understand why Jessie was seeing so many women. Why he was always so busy.”
Harry wiped my face with my hand.
Aemerus must have been shocked too.
Jessie had once been the captain of the Ice Hockey Team, and Aemerus had trusted and followed him.
I thought his reaction wouldn’t be much different from mine.
But the expression on his face was strange.
Harry hesitated and asked.
“Did you… already know?”
Now that I thought about it, he had once said that Jessie wasn’t a good man.
Back then, I was too anxious about my unrequited love for Jessie being discovered to think deeply about it.
Perhaps Aemerus had already known.
“It’s a bit ambiguous to say I knew.”
Seeing Harry’s sense of betrayal, he scratched the back of his neck with an awkward expression.
“I was aware of JJ’s situation to some extent. But every time I saw him, he was always wearing designer clothes… so I thought something was odd.”
“Ah….”
“It wasn’t something to tell anyone about, so I just thought about it privately and left it alone.”
Harry had simply assumed the clothes were sponsorships or gifts because Jessie was a model.
There had been no reason to suspect him.
Jessie was someone I was prouder of than anyone else in the world.
Tears fell silently, one after another.
Aemerus offered me his handkerchief in quiet consolation.
“I’m the only one who was stupid enough to understand nothing.”
The handkerchief he gave me was soon damp.
Yet the tears showed no sign of stopping.
“I’m sorry. I came by suddenly and now I’m just crying.”
Wasn’t crying in front of Jessie enough?
Harry was equally bewildered by the tears that refused to cease.
“Don’t apologize for something that isn’t your fault.”
Aemerus spoke with firm finality.
His tone was almost coldly cutting.
Uncertain what to say in response, I exhaled a shallow sigh, my lips trembling.
“I didn’t want to disrupt your weekend.”
“If I thought you were a disruption, I wouldn’t have let you in.”
I started to doubt whether his words were genuine, then abandoned the thought.
Just thinking about Jessie right now made my head feel like it would split.
“I don’t know how to face Jessie anymore. I can never tell my parents about this.”
Harry’s Parents would certainly inform the Jacksons of this fact.
To make Jessie quit the escort work immediately.
But I questioned whether Harry’s Parents could truly bear the truth.
“Should I let Jessie continue doing that work?”
Yet it seemed I had no right to stop him.
A sense of overwhelming helplessness engulfed me like a tidal wave.
When I asked why he hadn’t told me the truth, Jessie’s counter-question—what could you possibly do?—struck me with devastating force.
He was right.
Even now that the truth was revealed, there was nothing I could do.
“I’ve never felt this pathetic about myself before….”
“Harry.”
“I don’t even know anymore if I have the right to condemn Jessie.”
I had never experienced the misfortunes Jessie endured.
The only tragedy I’d known in my life was an unrequited love for a childhood friend.
Even that was too sweet a sorrow to truly call a tragedy.
Could I condemn Jessie for making an immoral choice when facing the collapse of his family?
If I were in his position, would I have chosen differently?
I couldn’t dare promise that without experiencing it myself.
Just imagining my parents’ and Robin’s lives depending on my shoulders made my legs tremble.
“At the end… I said something harsh to him. I hated Jessie so much, I was so angry at him that I couldn’t bear it. But I shouldn’t have said such things.”
“What did you say?”
“That he was filthy….”
“That’s not wrong, is it?”
Aemerus was remarkably cold-blooded, despite having once been Jessie’s friend.
Cold enough to dry the tears that had been streaming down my face as belated guilt consumed me.
“But shouldn’t a friend try to understand?”
Perhaps what Jessie needed wasn’t sharp reproach, but the comfort of being understood.
“I was too harsh. But Jessie is still my friend.”
I worried that I’d pushed him too far in the heat of emotion.
I bit my lip hard.
“If I go apologize to Jessie right now….”
“Harry, a man who keeps making you blame yourself and defend him isn’t a good man. He’s certainly not the kind of man you should care about.”
Aemerus drew a sharp breath, as if suppressing something.
He ran his hand roughly through his hair and took my hand.
“Aemerus?”
“Don’t go.”
But Jessie must have been hurt because of me.
I swallowed the words I was about to say.
It was because the expression on Aemerus’s face as he stared at me was far too fierce.
“Stop now. You’ve done enough.”
“….”
“But if you absolutely must care for someone.”
Aemerus paused and hesitated.
With his eyes squeezed shut, I found myself studying him with concern instead.
“…Aemerus, are you alright?”
His complexion was terribly pale.
In response to my question, he slowly opened his eyes.
Deep emerald eyes fixed directly on me.
Then, as if undergoing torture, his face twisted as he forced out each word with difficulty.
“Then care for me instead.”
His lips trembled as he openly begged for affection.
“Don’t joke with me, Aemerus. I’m not in the mood for your humor right now.”
“I’m not joking. This isn’t a jest.”
The earnestness of his expression, proving those words, made my heart sink.
“I’ve been fond of you for a long time, Harry. Even if it seems repulsive and terrible to you, there’s nothing I can do about it.”
It sounded less like a confession and more like a penitent’s absolution for an ancient sin.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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