Male Lead Is Obsessed With My Health - Chapter 12

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 12

“Mother, do you love me?”
A question thrown out abruptly one day, like a stone dropped into still water.
I’d asked it while pretending everything was fine, unfazed, indifferent, playful, as though it had just occurred to me—laughed it off carelessly. But inside, I was terrified of what answer might come. I didn’t know what she would say.
I think I was scared.
I’d swallowed the question countless times before, unable to voice it. But that day, I couldn’t resist the impulse.
It’s fairer to say my mouth moved of its own accord.
‘What if Mother thinks I’m strange?’
Even that moment of doubt passed quickly.
Mother, who’d been glancing at me sideways, answered coolly.
“Why are you asking something like that all of a sudden?”
“I was curious.”
“What parent doesn’t love their child? Everyone loves them.”
“I see.”
“Instead of wasting time asking things like that, practice more. The Concours isn’t far away.”
“Right. I will.”
Even as I accepted her reproach, I wasn’t satisfied with her answer. I softly pressed further.
“But you do love me, don’t you?”
“What did you just hear me say?”
“Hehe.”
“Instead of wasting time thinking about such useless things, practice more.”
“Hehe. Okay.”
I picked up my bow with a laugh despite the look of exasperation in her eyes. So Mother does love me. That’s what I’d thought in that moment.
But Mother.
Why does it feel like you don’t love me?

* * *

No matter how often she’d been called a coldhearted person with ice for blood, Mehenm was still human—flesh and bone.
There was no way she could harbor no affection for Arelin, whom she’d raised from infancy with her own hands.
“There now, it’s all right. I’m here.”
It was just that affection was unnecessary when caring for a child.
It wasn’t important.
After all, she was a being who could be replaced at any time…….
So she’d kept her distance.
She’d simply cut off any situation that might cause them both suffering.
“Huh…….”
But if she’d known it would end like this, she should have given it up long ago.
The trembling body in her arms was impossibly light.
It had been so long since she’d held her that she couldn’t feel the passage of time. She was still small, still light.
‘Why is she so small?’
She hadn’t noticed because it had been so long since she’d held her.
Ever since the Childcare Unit was established and she’d handed everything over to them, she’d barely seen her except in passing.
She knew she wasn’t an excellent caregiver, but she’d always believed she was at least a caregiver who provided everything necessary.
Wasn’t she?
She didn’t know. Children had always been difficult for her. They didn’t show clear results like business did, nor did they require quick decision-making.
‘If she ate properly, she’d gain some weight.’
Mehenm clicked her tongue, thinking of Arelin, who couldn’t manage more than three bites no matter what she ate.
Still, the child’s intermittent convulsive movements slowly found stability in the familiar warmth.
“Mother…….”
The child’s small hand fumbled through the air before gripping Mehenm’s sleeve tightly.
“Mother…….”
So that’s how much she’d wanted her mother.
Her voice was so pitiful that Mehenm found herself wishing she could see her own mother—the one she’d never met herself.
The reaching hand stayed with her, and without thinking, she grasped it. The child’s sobs began to ease.
“……Mother.”
“I’m Mehenm, though.”
“Mother…….”
“Yes, titles are hardly important. Call me whatever you wish.”
She wasn’t in her right mind with fever. What would it accomplish to correct her?
Mehenm fed her the medicine the physician had brought, placed a cloth from the Childcare Unit on her forehead, held her to keep her temperature from dropping, and wondered what exactly she was doing.
Why was she doing this? There were hundreds of tasks backed up.
And yet.
“Mother…….”
She had no regrets.
Even though the work she put off today would return tenfold tomorrow, she couldn’t bring herself to leave this place.
“Mother…….”
Perhaps it was because she had many sleepless nights anyway. She didn’t know.
The Childcare Unit, stripped of their duties, moved about cautiously, but Mehenm no longer had the capacity to concern herself with others.
The long night passed.
Dawn broke through the darkness, its light spreading across the sky.

* * *

The old nightmare always began the same way. A Grand Piano, sitting alone.
When I closed my eyes, I could smell the rosin, worn and stale. And when I opened them, I held a Violin and bow in my hands.
Then, with a click, the lights came up and everything changed.
The Grand Hall.
There were no spectators filling the seats. Only one person sat elegantly in the judges’ section.
Mother.

“I wish our daughter could become…… what I wished to be.”

Mother was beautiful.
Not a sentimental distortion like a child praising her mother. It was different.
Mother was beautiful and talented, and I was a daughter who seemed to be missing everything she possessed.

“I believe in our daughter.”

Yes, a daughter who lacks everything you have.

“I believe you can fulfill Mother’s dream.”
“I believe in you.”
“You can do it, can’t you?”

The piano without an accompanist begins to play. Familiar music fills the hall. Memories I’d tried to suppress and forget come pouring out all at once.
I couldn’t lift my bow.
On a stage where only the incomplete piano accompaniment played—missing the notes my string should have filled—I could do nothing. I simply stood there.
Watching only one person.
“Mother…….”
She was too far away.
So far that I couldn’t see what expression she wore. I couldn’t tell.
“Mother…….”
Why did you do that to me? What was I to you? Did you love me?
Do you still love me?
All the words I couldn’t ask remained locked inside me. Unresolved feelings coiled tightly in my chest.
“Mother…….”
But what came before all of that was.
Longing.
“Mother…….”
I wanted to see you.
“Mother…….”
Are you leaving?
Will you leave me alone again?
“Mother, Mother…….”
Don’t go.
Don’t leave me alone.
“Mother…….”
Please.
Don’t leave me alone.
I needed to speak, needed to beg her not to leave, but something was choking me. The words wouldn’t come.
All that came out was her name.
Would she leave like this again?
Would I lose her again?
Would I be left alone again?
In this terrible, horrible darkness, alone once more…….
“There, it’s all right.”
That was when it happened. A voice both familiar and strange. An unfamiliar hand grasping the hand I’d reached out.
“Mother…….”
“Yes, I won’t leave. I’m right here.”
Mother?
The hand patting my back was clumsy yet so tender.
“Mother…….”
The hand holding mine was so warm, the patting was so, so gentle that I found myself settling. It was as though I’d finally felt safe.
For the first time since I’d begun having this nightmare, I slept peacefully.
And when I opened my eyes.
“……Huh?”
Mehenm was right in front of me.

* * *

“…….”
“…….”
Huh?
“…….”
“……Mother?”
Why Mehenm?
“I’m not your mother, though.”
Because the last person I expected was right in front of me, my mind froze.
“…….”
“…….”
A deafening silence. I tried to make sense of what was happening.
Mehenm holding me, the hand I seemed to be gripping.
……Let’s not dwell on that.
“Are you feeling all right?”
A tired, low voice spoke to me. Even as she brushed my hair back, Mehenm studied my condition carefully and thoroughly.
In the streaming sunlight, her long lashes and pale green eyes gleamed golden.
Ah, what delicate, beautiful features she had.
Perhaps because weariness had softened the atmosphere, her usually sharp expression had dulled. It was a face I saw often, yet it felt different now.
“Mother…….”
Had Mehenm actually stayed with me?
Mehenm’s body stiffened as she reached up to check my forehead.
“I’m a man, though.”
“Mother.”
“…….”
I thought you were mother.
But again, you weren’t. I was alone after all.
As tears began to gather in my eyes, Mehenm faltered. I wasn’t trying to make her uncomfortable.
It was just…….
It was just that she always seemed to be what broke me.
“Fortunately, your fever has come down…….”
Mehenm looked troubled at the hand gripping her sleeve and let out a sigh.
“Mother, Mother…….”
Like a repeating chorus, I kept saying the same word. Mehenm frowned, troubled by the sight of me circling back again and again.
“Miss.”
“Mother…….”
“Arelin.”
“Mother…….”
“Haa.”
Mehenm let out a deep sigh.
“Fine, titles are hardly important. Call me whatever you like.”
That’s strange.
Why is she being so tender?
The Mehenm I knew wasn’t this kind. I’d expected her to push me away, but instead she was telling me to call her whatever I wished.
“Mother…….”
“…….”
She had a troubled expression, but she wasn’t pushing me away. That felt so strange that my throat tightened.
Why?
“You hate me, Mehenm.”
“……I don’t hate you.”
“You hate me.”
“I don’t hate …… Haa.”
Mehenm’s expression grew frustrated. She ran her hand roughly through her hair.
“How could I hate you?”
“You’re lying.”
“I’m not lying.”
“You were scowling at me.”
She went still.
“You called me a nuisance.”
“…….”
“You wanted to get rid of me, didn’t you?”
Mehenm’s brows drew together. The hand reaching for me faltered. When I lowered my gaze and looked up, our eyes met.
Slightly lidded, her pale green eyes held something unreadable.
A slightly contorted expression, troubled eyes, yet a fragile tremble in those jade-colored irises.
I’d never seen Mehenm make such an expression before.
“I merely…….”
This delicate man couldn’t even deny my words, sealing his lips like a condemned prisoner before the gallows.
“Haa.”
A sigh heavy with distress.
When I should be behaving sweetly, here I was throwing tantrums. I sighed at my own worthlessness.
But if in the end I’ll be left alone, then being alone from the start is better.
Even as I kept repeating this to myself, I noticed my hand stubbornly gripping Mehenm’s sleeve, and I bit my tongue.
“Miss.”
“…….”
“Arelin.”
“…….”
“Arel.”
“……!”
Startled by the unfamiliar nickname, I lifted my head reflexively, and saw pale gold eyes catching the morning light looking down at me.
Still sharp-edged, still troubled, yet somehow tender eyes held me captive.
As I shrank back, Mehenm frowned with difficulty, then let out another sigh.
“Arel.”
Mehenm’s large, delicate hand came into view. A gentle, warm, clumsy hand settled on my head.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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