I’m Sick of the Kind Protagonist, so I Might as Well Just Die - Chapter 76

—————

This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

—————

#76
As Perenustus stepped out through the office door that had split open, Silpi came rushing toward him.
“Ren! Are you alright… I see. Hmph.”
Silpi, who had been about to ask if he was okay, merely released an absurd snort and nodded. Her silver scales, which had lost their luster and taken on a sickly pallor from worry, rapidly regained their natural hue. Perenustus, who had calmly exited the counseling room and settled into his chair, questioned her with displeasure.
“Why did you stop worrying?”
“Your expression brightened so much that it didn’t seem necessary to worry anymore.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is. You look far too well, honestly.”
“What? I’m actually quite irritable and frustrated right now.”
“Being irritable and frustrated is how you’ve always lived, so it’s no different from your usual self.”
“….”
Perenustus pondered his other self’s assessment of him for a moment, then waved his hand dismissively.
“Never mind. Go bring Bilateia here.”
“Why her?”
“Just go get her! Why is it that whenever I ask you to do something, you never understand on the first try?”
“I’m your other self, so I inherited your personality—”
“Just go!”
The dragon, now reduced to merely a head, vanished with a grumble as Perenustus’s neck flushed with exasperation.
“Professor. I’m coming in.”
When Bilateia knocked and opened the office door, Perenustus was pouring tea into a cup. Bilateia found herself frozen at the doorknob, oddly observing how the warm aroma of freshly brewed tea gently enveloped the spacious room.
‘He’s changed quite a bit in just these few days I haven’t seen him.’
It was difficult to pinpoint exactly what had changed. Yet one thing was certain—he seemed more at ease. As if someone who had been clenching something tightly had finally let it go, he appeared slightly more relaxed.
“Come closer.”
“Yes.”
“I wanted to be comforted, and it seems Bilateia is the only normal person who can provide that comfort, so I called you.”
Bilateia stiffened again as she accepted the teacup he offered. At the sight of her, unable to drink from or set down the tea she had received, Perenustus let out a soft laugh.
“I was joking. Now that I think about it, I believe my mood is better right now than it’s ever been in my entire life.”
“….”
“Do you have any idea what the real reason is that I called you today?”
Bilateia bit her lip, awkwardly holding the teacup. There was one answer that came to mind—one she had vaguely anticipated for a long time.
“I suspect the Creator of my original world is asking you to return me.”
“Your intuition is truly remarkable.”
Bilateia’s complexion darkened instantly. She had suspected it vaguely, but confirming that it was actually true made her chest tighten painfully. The innermost part of her tongue ached as if she had eaten something astringent.
“However, that request has already been ongoing for quite some time.”
“What?”
“It’s been a continuous request ever since Bilateia came as an exchange student and wanted to settle here.”
“…What?!”
She stepped forward involuntarily, but only regained her senses when the tea spilled across the back of her hand. Perenustus refilled her empty cup with a shrug.
“Because I had no desire to lose such talented personnel, I gave Bilateia a new name suited to my world and recruited her as a scholarship student.”
It took Bilateia a moment to fully comprehend his words.
So what you’re saying is, while I wasn’t aware, you’d already rejected their request… and you didn’t say a word about it so I wouldn’t worry.
She gazed at the man she’d always believed had no connection whatsoever to words like consideration or warmth, then lowered her head.
“Thank you, Professor.”
“What are you talking about? I should be the one thanking you.”
Perenustus frowned and brushed aside her gratitude.
“Talents like Bilateia are so rare that you’d be lucky to find one in a thousand years across all the Worlds. For someone to fail to recognize such a gem and waste a thousand years relegating it to supporting roles, only to regret it belatedly—what could there possibly be to thank me for?”
Bilateia found herself unable to speak.
A thousand years. That was the span of time I’d repeated. A storekeeper for the Poison-Handling Family, an errand runner, a maid. Throughout all that time, no one had ever properly recognized my worth. I myself had done nothing but doubt myself and envy others every single day—yet this man had seen through it all.
Bilateia opened and closed her lips several times, searching for words, before finally managing to squeeze out her voice.
“…It’s a request concerning Aurelia, isn’t it?”
“Oh. How did you know that?”
“I spent a thousand years handling all the miscellaneous work of the Poison-Handling Family at my previous post. Thanks to that, I can help Aurelia endure poison with as little suffering as possible, and as efficiently and quickly as I can manage.”
Admiration flickered across Perenustus’s eyes. He met Bilateia’s gaze with praise far greater than a hundred words could convey.
“As Bilateia already knows, I’m incapable of making plans. That’s why I’m cautious about voicing my specific intentions or desires, let alone acting on them.”
He frowned as if frustrated by his own careful selection of each word.
“I haven’t fully grasped how the penalty will manifest yet. So for now, all I can manage are these conventional pleasantries of asking for your help. Please understand.”
Bilateia nodded without hesitation, and Perenustus raised his eyebrows.
“I’m truly sorry.”
“…Yes?”
“A proper teacher’s role is to tell you plainly when you’ve done well, when you’ve done remarkably—to speak the truth in that very moment. Yet I’m failing to do that.”
Bilateia was taken aback to see this man, who had remained unbending even before great figures, now offering a sincere apology to a mere student.
“No, no! There’s absolutely nothing for you to apologize for, Professor—”
“Is that so? Then let me apologize just this once.”
Bilateia, who had been waving her hands frantically, went still. Both Perenustus’s boyishly mischievous smile and the jokes that flowed so naturally from him felt utterly unfamiliar. Yet rather than seeming strange, such moments appeared comfortable. Like finally wearing clothes that truly suited me.
“If I had my way, I’d follow you into the Worlds and wreak havoc alongside you.”
“…”
“They say a good teacher and someone who moves well in the field are different things, but… didn’t I perform quite decently in the previous Worlds?”
Bilateia nodded honestly.
“Duke Ren was a hastily improvised character. The setting was slapped together haphazardly at best. That you could seize such flimsy material and penetrate the existing relationships of the Worlds to bring about an entirely different ending—no one could deny that was your achievement, Professor.”
Perenustus’s mood brightened further at that answer, and his lips curved upward.
“With such a major contribution behind me, my absence this time around will make these Worlds far from easy. Aurelia hasn’t even attended a single session of ‘Understanding and Practice of Abnormal Desires’ yet.”
“That’s true…”
Bilateia nodded, then stopped belatedly.
“Wait, wait a moment! What class is that?”
“Understanding and Practice of Abnormal Desires.”
“Ah… Professor, Leonas vomited during the first class, and from the second session onward, he’s been lying in the Infirmary and hasn’t attended at all.”
“Which is precisely why I said it won’t be easy for Bilateia.”
Perenustus sighed.
“Though I must say, despite such severe physiological aversion, Leonas’s dedication is commendable—memorizing the textbook perfectly, scoring full marks on the exam, and substituting practical training with a report.”
Bilateia belatedly understood one more reason why Perenustus had called her aside just now.
‘I’m planning to send them to an incredibly unconventional world, and I’m the only one who can keep my sanity there.’
Perenustus nodded as if he’d read my thoughts.
“Then, go bring those two troublemakers here.”
“Yes, sir.”
The moment Bilateia turned to leave, Perenustus added something as if he’d forgotten.
“I didn’t realize it myself, but it seems I regard Bilateia similarly to how I regard Silpi.”
“Me? How am I similar to a thousand-year-old barter merchant from the next town over!”
Silpi, who had been tucked away in the corner of the office ceiling as if invisible, suddenly bellowed. However, Perenustus completely ignored Silpi’s words and focused solely on Bilateia.
“You’re the one who enters the Worlds directly in my stead, maintaining and managing the balance of those realms. Not anyone else—you, Bilateia.”
A hot lump that had been pressing down inside Bilateia’s chest rose up slowly.
“Hearing you say that makes me want to cry. I spent an incomprehensibly long time in only supporting roles, telling myself I was remarkable, that no one simply recognized that remarkableness… I endured by praising myself alone.”
“Your exceptional self-awareness and situational judgment are also strengths of yours, I believe.”
“Ah… This is the first time I’ve met someone who evaluates my worth higher than I do myself, truly….”
She looked at Perenustus, genuinely at a loss for words.
“I’m not the first. Why do you think Leonas Hagpethar Yuletanis stays so close to your side?”
Even if it were merely flattery to justify imposing such an overwhelming burden, Bilateia found herself wanting to accomplish everything Perenustus asked of her.
“This isn’t empty praise. I’m not one to make requests—I give orders or take what I want.”
“….”
“Yet I keep saying ‘please’ repeatedly, which means I acknowledge and respect you that much. I hope you understand.”
“Yes, I understand. Thank you—”
“No.”
He stopped her greeting.
“I want you to recognize how remarkably capable you yourself are.”
Again, something hot welled up inside her. So Bilateia couldn’t even say thank you. If she opened her mouth, tears would spill out like a fool.
“Since you don’t recognize your own worth, the original master of the Worlds demands it back and worries I might give it to him—isn’t that right?”
“….”
“I would pass my position to you without hesitation, but I have not the slightest intention of letting it be taken by another administrator.”
“That’s true. Among all the students I’ve seen so far, there’s no one else as skilled as her.”
Silpi pouted and reluctantly nodded in agreement.
“You heard that? So whether it’s you or me, Bilateia, if we keep exchanging such ticklish words, it’ll become quite awkward later. Let’s stop here.”
“…Thank you for your consideration.”
“I should be the one thanking you. Now go fetch those two.”
Bilateia closed the door respectfully and left, then returned escorting Leonas Hagpethar Yuletanis and Aurelia, one on each arm.
“Perenustus. Listen—”
Just as Aurelia was about to say something, Perenustus snapped his fingers without explanation or warning.

—————

This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

—————