I’m Sick of the Kind Protagonist, so I Might as Well Just Die - Chapter 42

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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#42
Tired of counting how many times I’d died, I opened my eyes once more today—and felt something fundamentally different.
“Huh? This is my room, not the Dark Space?”
I muttered to myself while gazing up at the lace that filled my vision, then pushed myself upright. As if she’d been waiting for me, Bilateia Fernichiosa Venisike, who had been resting her chin on the sofa’s armrest, gave me a languid wave in greeting.
“The Noble Council is staging a collective protest visit right now, so Leonas is swamped. That’s why we couldn’t go to the Dark Space.”
“That’s strange. No matter how busy he gets, the starting point has always been the Dark Space.”
“Anyway, you’ve been through enough. Dying just because the wind blows the wrong way is absolutely ridiculous.”
Bilateia approached the bedside and patted my shoulder sympathetically before flopping down beside me.
“And you—start paying attention! Every time you die and come back, one of your stats—looks, intellect, or physical strength—shoots up dramatically!”
“Really…?”
She retrieved an ornate hand mirror densely studded with brilliant gems from the nightstand and angled it to show me my reflection. As I stared blankly into the mirror, I lowered my gaze to examine the back of my hand.
‘My skin does feel more translucent than before. But more than my appearance, the energy flowing through my body feels… denser somehow?’
The fragile body that would have shattered at a single tap was gradually, incrementally beginning to resemble my original form through repeated deaths. This alone was an extraordinary gain. As joy flickered across my face, Bilateia clicked her tongue.
“At this point, it seems like this world is deliberately cycling you through death to raise your stats. It feels like it’s intentionally trying to show me the gap between a supporting character and a protagonist—which is absolutely infuriating.”
“…That can’t possibly be true.”
“Do you know how long I’ve been grinding in martial arts worlds? While I was stuck grinding herbs and hauling luggage without seeing a single secret technique, the only things that grew were my intuition and perception.”
“….”
“Just wait and see—everything I’m saying will prove correct. You just enjoy yourself!”
“I could’ve enjoyed it if dying hurt even slightly less.”
Bilateia’s lips drooped as she set down the mirror.
“Enough with the gloomy thoughts. I’ve prepared something to train you with, so come over here.”
“Train?”
“This time you died from poison so weak an ant wouldn’t even notice it. Dying like that in front of a career professional from the Sacheon Dang Sect is just plain rude.”
Bilateia grabbed my wrist and yanked me up, seeing only confusion in my blinking eyes. She then dragged me from the bed to the sofa entirely of her own volition.
“Look here.”
The table was lined with small bottles. From transparent to pitch black, each one looked decidedly sinister. Bilateia held out the palest yellow bottle.
“Start by tasting just the tiniest bit of this. Just barely touch the tip of your tongue with a needle’s worth.”
“Anyone can see that’s poison—you want me to drink this…?”
“We’re building your poison resistance. At the very least, you shouldn’t die so pathetically from something barely qualifying as poisoned wind like this time!”
“Ugh… I really hate poison. It hurt so much when I died this time.”
“Exactly! Do you know how maddening it was watching you suffer like that? Why do you think I went to all this trouble to prepare this!”
“It’s not being dramatic. My pain sensitivity has gotten so acute lately that even wind makes my skin sting.”
“Who said you were being dramatic? Geez. Just watch!”
Bilateia let out a sharp cry and demonstrated first. Having proven herself completely unaffected, she dipped a needle’s tip into the poison the same way and handed it to me.
“I’ve prepared an antidote too, so don’t worry. You trust me, right?”
Instead of answering, I accepted the needle she offered and very carefully brought it to my tongue. Bilateia waved an antidote bottle and chocolate in both hands, cheering me on.
‘I’m like a puppy being trained with snacks.’
I smiled at the not-so-different reality and carefully tested the sensation at my tongue’s tip. I’d braced myself for a searing pain to engulf my throat, but… nothing. It was just a faintly tingling, carbonated water sensation.
“Huh?”
“See! Doesn’t hurt at all, right? This transparent bottle is the strongest poison, by the way. Since we started with the weakest yellow one today, we’ll practice one by one in order every-”
Before Bilateia could finish speaking, I seized the transparent vial and swallowed the poison inside without hesitation.
“Wait! That’s the strongest poison we have!”
A searing pain descended through my esophagus. But compared to the agony of death I’d endured repeatedly, it was merely a tickle.
‘The fact that the pain is mild means Perenustus, who was taken away, has returned. I’m certain of it.’
Bilateia’s horrified shriek faded as my vision darkened. Just as I’d anticipated, I opened my eyes in Perenustus’s office.
“Ren, you absolute lunatic! Where the hell did you—ahhh!”
The moment I sprang to my feet, Silpi, who had been shrieking from across the room, let out a cry and flew toward my face.
“Ahhhhh! Look at this! Every time you get involved with this madman, I go insane too!”
“You’re cursing at someone who just woke up from being dead….”
“You’re insane, so you should just stay dead! You’re not a little bit crazy—you’re dragging Ren down into madness with you!”
The dragon with only its head remaining circled around me, shrieking incessantly.
“Since we’re on the subject, warrior—do you have some kind of abnormal death fetish? Do you get pleasure from dying? Does it thrill you?”
“What are you talking about….”
“Why do you keep dying if that’s not it! If there’s a problem, solve it step by step. If questions arise, find answers maturely. Why do you just drop dead at the slightest thing! Do you have any idea how much mental health support costs for my staff because of you!”
The tedious nagging I’d grown sick of hearing from Bilateia was now pouring from the severed dragon’s head. Now that I understood it came from concern, I smiled broadly and met Silpi’s gaze.
“Thank you for worrying about me.”
“Insane! Why would I worry about the madman who cut off my neck! I’m just frustrated because my curse is getting completely tangled up!”
Silpi spewed out random words in frustration and began circling again. Ignoring her, I shifted my gaze to Perenustus, who was staring at me intently from beyond the desk.
Buried beneath a haphazard mountain of documents, the man sat with his fingers interlaced, piercing me with his gaze. His usually impeccable attire was disheveled, and the cravat brooch that always adorned him was nowhere to be seen.
“You were captured by that enormous hand and ended up like this, didn’t you? You’ve been held captive and only just returned?”
“That’s what happened. Nothing serious occurred.”
“Thank goodness. I had a feeling Perenustus had come back, so I came to see you!”
“You… drank poison to meet me.”
“Yes! Because I had something to ask you!”
“…You died just to ask a question.”
“Well, according to Bilateia, my stats improve every time I regress. My appearance changes too. What should I do? I want to live as an ordinary, inconspicuous supporting character and die without drawing attention.”
“…You should try not to die if possible.”
Perenustus looked as though he wanted to unleash a hundred lectures, but offered only a brief response. I shrugged and added:
“I’ve gotten somewhat accustomed to dying anyway. I’ve become quite numb to the pain, and there’s the guarantee that I’ll see Perenustus when I wake up. It’s not so bad, really.”
“Ha.”
He let out a short, hollow laugh. It was less his usual elegant mockery and more a bitter lament directed at himself.
He, who had been glaring at the documents fluttering with his breath, slowly rose from his seat. Then he approached me directly.
“Oh. It’s already filled up that much? All that pain was worth it.”
As I watched him approach, I suddenly noticed the tragic cylinder at my feet had risen by about two finger-widths, shimmering. Perenustus’s gaze followed the line of my fingertips, then returned to my face.
“Why do you have that expression? Did I misspeak again? Or were you severely scolded by that enormous hand? Because of me?”
To my softly spoken question, he offered no reply. His shadow stretched long across me, and as a cool sensation brushed my skin, goosebumps rose involuntarily.
“Aurelia and I must maintain the relationship of a punished party and a disciplinary authority. Nothing more, nothing less. For the sake of the system’s order, and especially for your safety.”
“But that’s exactly what we are, isn’t it? You said I’m a serious criminal.”
Perenustus, who had been closing the distance slowly, stopped in his tracks the moment he heard my answer.
“Even though I know it must be that way, I….”
He paused mid-sentence, his gaze fixed directly on mine as he tilted his head slowly.
“I genuinely wish that Aurelia doesn’t suffer anymore. I wonder why that is.”
“Isn’t that the same feeling Bilateia and Silpi have?”
His pupils trembled violently, swirling with complex intensity. Flustered by the heat radiating from that tremor, I averted my eyes.
“Perhaps because I’m trying to resolve things too easily? Or maybe it bothers me that people skip over the trials and tribulations they’re supposed to overcome on their own? It could even be that I’m annoyed because I keep dying and adding to your workload.”
The man, who had been listening intently to every careless word I uttered, shook his head.
“Would such trivial reasons really drive me to make a decision I shouldn’t make as an administrator?”
“What?”
“From now on, I’m going to lift every taboo I set for myself as an administrator to manage the worlds. I’m going to directly enter Aurelia’s life.”
“What… isn’t that something you can’t do?”
“Normally, no.”
My mouth fell open.
“Did Silpi’s words about me doing something insane make Perenustus go insane too…?”
“Perhaps.”
The disheveled man answered with eyes that showed no hesitation whatsoever.
The moment our eyes met, I regretted my habit of dying so carelessly for the first time. For the first time, I thought that I might be exerting a negative influence on Perenustus by doing things I shouldn’t.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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