I’m Sick of the Kind Protagonist, so I Might as Well Just Die - Chapter 21

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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#21
“I told you not to!”
Silpi’s sharp voice pierced through my study.
“This is a warning! One more step and I’ll bite you, I swear!”
The colossal dragon hovered with only her head suspended in midair, issuing threats she didn’t remotely mean. Agitation caused faint silver light to seep from the severed edge of her neck.
“Do you know what I’m about to do?”
“Whatever it is, just don’t do it!”
I didn’t spare Silpi a glance. I simply gazed upon the blueprints suspended in the void as though they were eternity itself. The vast space was crammed entirely with blueprints—architectural schematics of the Training Stage.
“Look carefully.”
I, who had been gazing upward at nothing like a painting hung upon a wall, finally lifted my hand. Between the sketches of the Worlds—marked densely with character relationships, event progressions, and emotional graphs—my fingers moved ceaselessly.
My fingers classified according to criteria and at a speed Silpi couldn’t possibly comprehend, then swept across a bundle of blueprints. The moment my hand brushed past, countless designs melted into a single mass.
“Damn it! What kind of insane thing are you doing on a Worlds scale!”
Silpi shrieked directly into my ear. Even as her scales bristled and she raged, I offered no response whatsoever.
Silpi watched my long fingers move frantically and the Worlds crumble ephemerally at my gesture, asking with evident exasperation.
“Ren, you’re still in your right mind, aren’t you? Can you even hear me?”
“My ears work fine. Whether my mind does is harder to say with certainty.”
I replied offhandedly, seized the third bundle of stages in my hand, and crumpled it.
“This one’s deleted.”
“Hey! No matter how much it’s the Training Stage, you can’t just delete it without warning! If the elders find out—”
“Let them find out. I’m growing increasingly disgusted with my own cowardice—taking issue with the Training Stage instead of daring to challenge the true Worlds.”
“Ha!”
Whether a scoff or a sigh, Silpi released that sound and flew directly before my face. The moment the colossal dragon’s head completely obscured my vision, I finally looked at her.
“Move.”
“Would you move if you were in my position?”
Silpi narrowed her vertical pupils sharply, glaring at me. After regarding her briefly, I pushed the headless dragon aside and resumed my work.
Silpi spun once in midair, reversed direction, and charged at me again.
“I’m your avatar! I have the right to prevent anything from happening to my original body!”
“Rights, you say.”
“You give freedom even to worthless bugs—why do you have to lecture me!”
At those words, my movements ceased entirely. With the slow, stiff motion of a rusted iron gate creaking open, I turned to face my avatar.
“You’re right. Why did I do that?”
“…Did you manipulate the Worlds without notification or permission and damage yourself?”
“It’s not my body that’s damaged—it’s my mind. So explain it to me.”
I ground out the words harshly, eyes hardening.
“You made the mess yourself and now you’re demanding I explain it to you…”
Judging normal conversation impossible, Silpi shook her severed neck and flew off to a distance. Apparently displeased at not obtaining an answer, I—my brow deeply furrowed—crumpled another mass of Worlds and hurled it away.
“I’m reorganizing my Worlds. Aurelia is merely a byproduct of my Worlds. A massive error byproduct.”
“What? Didn’t some madman just dump the entire world’s total comedy onto that ‘byproduct’ not long ago?”
Silpi’s sarcasm narrowed my eyes. That was precisely why my mind was deafeningly chaotic right now. The madness and the strange error were clear, but I couldn’t explain why I’d committed that madness in the first place.
“Perhaps I lost my reason because I was on the verge of losing an irreplaceable research subject.”
“Ah, stop spouting nonsense and do something about those trembling hands of yours. Good grief, watching you is making me anxious!”
I slowly gazed down at my own hands. Just as Silpi said, my fingertips were trembling ever so slightly. Unaware until now, I clenched my fists tightly, pretending otherwise.
“I’ve grown old. My hands shake from overwork.”
“Overwork, my foot. You’re terrified that Aurelia will become as obsessed as Rowan was and won’t be able to escape.”
“Me? What am I afraid of?”
“I’m your other self, Ren. I may not be able to read every detail of your thoughts, but I share your intense emotions—that’s what being your other self means.”
Silpi stared directly into my eyes and clicked her tongue.
“Since you show no signs of stopping even when given the chance, I won’t try to stop you anymore. But since you don’t seem aware of what’s causing your condition, let me pinpoint and diagnose it for you.”
“Go ahead. I’m listening.”
“You’re afraid right now of losing the ‘value’ you abandoned so long ago—again.”
“What’s there to fear? Everything that exists is my creation.”
“Sure, keep denying it like that. I’m really curious to see what happens. You’ve always been like that… what’s the word. An avoider.”
Silpi sighed. I scoffed dismissively. The intricate blueprints that had filled the void vanished entirely, leaving only a single world standing alone in the emptiness.
[Duty and Responsibility]
Silpi pointed to the world’s title inscribed at the very top of the blueprint and laughed mockingly.
“Look at this. See how you’ve set up only this world with such an outrageously obvious theme? How terrified are you that something might happen to her?”
“I’m not afraid.”
“If you’re not afraid, then what—you’re just nervous?”
“I’m simply considering the most efficient way to manage this troublesome situation.”
“I see. So you want to call it ‘management’ when you’re crumpling up perfectly fine worlds and throwing them away like a madman.”
Silpi circled around me mockingly, but I stubbornly ignored her deliberate attempts to provoke me and continued speaking.
“I’m going to deploy Bilateia and Leonas Hagpethar Yuletanis in this Training Stage first. I won’t let another incident like last time happen where they can’t even enter.”
“That’s exactly the proof that you’re anxious about something like that happening again.”
“No, it’s just routine reinforcement work. If the senior staff beside them properly restrain Aurelia’s obsession, an unexpected crisis like this won’t occur.”
Silpi laughed even louder and shoved her face right in front of mine.
“That’s it? That’s really all you’ve got for the conclusion to this mess, this grand worry of yours?”
“….”
“Ren. I know it sounds like nagging, but you know I’m saying this because I’m worried about you. I’ve watched you build up great expectations and crash down in great disappointment more than once.”
My hands stilled for a moment. Silpi seized on that wavering and glanced upward.
“You know better than anyone, don’t you? Those old fools up there absolutely love it when you build yourself up with great expectations and then come crashing down—”
“I’ve never crashed.”
“…Right. Sigh.”
Just as Silpi’s form began to fade and disappear, she hesitated and added one more thing.
“Hey. Aurelia will never move the way you think she will. You know that, right?”
“I don’t need a puppet that moves according to my will. I just….”
“Just what?”
“I just hope Aurelia can carry out her role in the Worlds more stably.”
Silpi rolled her eyes and pulled her lips down in a grimace.
“I hope your ridiculous wish doesn’t get revealed to anyone.”
“What do you mean ridiculous? Be specific about which part exactly.”
“A creator getting excited over an existence they can’t control at all… isn’t that a bit creepy?”
Perenustus frowned and looked at Silpi.
“Glaring won’t change anything, Ren.”
Silpi, giggling softly, didn’t blink once as she stared directly into Perenustus’s eyes until her form completely vanished.
“Anyway, do whatever you want. I gave you a stern moral lecture, but honestly, I’m incredibly excited. Incredibly, incredibly excited.”
The nearly transparent Silverdragoon grinned wickedly and spun once in the air.
“I’m so curious to see how much you’ll struggle and fumble around, you arrogant bastard who thinks he’s the greatest in the world.”
“….”
“I’m dying to see how much Aurelia will rampage in your ‘safe’ Training Stage, how much it’ll drive you insane. I might actually breathe dragon fire from the anticipation.”
“Hey.”
“So don’t look for me from now on, alright? I’m going to find the best seat in the house and stay put.”
“Silpi. That’s enough.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m going.”
Silpi left only her mischievous laughter behind as she completely disappeared. In the empty chamber, only the dragon’s laughter echoed like a phantom, leaving Perenustus alone.
He stared once more at the single blueprint remaining before him. A simple world, a safe world, a controllable world. A world that could impart the most necessary lesson to Aurelia.
He clenched his trembling hands tighter and called out softly.
“Aurelia. You’re listening, aren’t you?”

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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