Grab the Regressor by the Collar and Debut - Chapter 88

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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88. SOCCER IS PLAYED WITH FEET, BASKETBALL WITH HANDS (2)
Kang Ha-jin asked the Writer in Charge of the Yellow Team seriously.
“Writer, I have a question.”
“Yes, Ha-jin.”
“Is this really the image you wanted?”
The Writer in Charge gazed at where I pointed with the courtesy of a waiter guiding someone to their table at an upscale restaurant.
Lee Do-ha, whose shoulders didn’t fit even in the largest size, so he had the zipper completely open yet still couldn’t straighten his back.
Kim Won-ho with one pant leg rolled up to his calf, and his upper garment draped diagonally across his shoulders and sides.
Lee Yu-gun with pants so short his ankles were completely exposed, the zipper pulled all the way up and covering half his face.
And when I turned my gaze, I saw Kang Ha-jin right beside me, the jersey pulled halfway down and draped over his arm, looking at me.
And honestly, that sight was….
“Ah….”
Absolutely hilarious!
Fiercely handsome guys sprawled across the sports ground in bright yellow training sets—what a visual!
“They look like baby chicks, don’t they?”
“Aren’t they like that one actor?”
“…Ah.”
“Writer, you just had that ‘eureka’ reaction.”
Fortunately, the team uniform was made of windbreaker material with a yellow and white color scheme. Because of that, it didn’t look quite as tight as I’d feared, but the Writer acknowledged that the overall visual harmony was still lacking.
However, there was a reason for this as well.
“No, I wanted to change it for you too… but the only team uniforms left are these or black, and the main PD said this team would look even worse in black….”
I wanted to ask back, ‘Why black? Why black when eighty percent of South Korean men wear it every day!’ but I didn’t. I understood Kwon PD’s reasoning perfectly.
“If they wore black, they’d really look like children of darkness….”
The implication being that if they had to look like gangsters, cute gangsters were better than actual ones.
Unable to find a good counterargument, I moved on to my next point.
“But don’t you think we need a balance patch? Our team seems to have gathered only athletic types, don’t you think…?”
It was about team member balance.
If there were even just one or two team members with a cute image, that massive cognitive dissonance might be resolved somewhat.
Fortunately, Seo Tae-hyun was pulling it off remarkably well, so if I could just swap him with Dan Ha-ru or Yuki….
“Oh! That’s fine. Tae-hyun is on the Yellow Team anyway.”
The Writer in Charge answered cheerfully with a bright smile.
With a thumbs up flashed my way, I closed my mouth.
One fact that even I, who watched all of Boy Heaven, already knew.
“Tae-hyun is terrible at sports, so it’s fine!”
Seo Tae-hyun was remarkably uncoordinated. (He was famous since Boy Heaven for clocking 18 seconds in the 100-meter dash.)
Unable to extract anything else, I reluctantly accepted reality and began pulling on the bright yellow jersey.
‘Fine, since it’s come to this, I’ll turn crisis into opportunity.’
I decided that if I couldn’t avoid it, I’d enjoy it instead. I’d extract everything I could.
Thinking that way, this combination didn’t look so bad after all.
‘Raise Lee Do-ha’s trust, reconsider recruiting Kim Won-ho, and break the ice with Lee Yu-gun.’
Achieving even one of these would break even.
It wouldn’t be easy with the cameras rolling, but I had faith in the broadcast material. Ha-jin looked at Tae-hyun sitting beside him with a contemptible grin.
“…? Why, why are you like this?”
Tae-hyun, who had been waving a foam cheering stick, felt that gaze and flinched, stepping back.
Regardless, Ha-jin patted Tae-hyun’s carefully styled hair with a pleased expression, careful not to mess it up.
“Tae-hyun. Grandpa only trusts our grandson.”
“What, what are you trusting? Don’t open your eyes like that.”
“I trust that our broadcast genius Tae-hyun will handle everything.”
Since Seo Tae-hyun would handle the broadcast anyway, I was planning to kick back and collect clues about Seon Gwi-ja!
* * *
But then!
“Today, each team’s captains have a special authority! The power to select which players compete!”
I was definitely planning to kick back!
“Captains, send out players suited for each event and secure as many victories as possible! The winning team receives an incredible blessing of benefits!”
At this point, Seo Tae-hyun’s eyes went wild.
“But if we go like this, it’ll be too boring, won’t it?”
“So I, using my authority as Special MC, just added one more rule~”
“For team captains who place first in each game, I’m granting the power to designate one member from the opposing team’s roster to compete in the next event!!”
Nam Da-down winked cheerfully, shattering Ha-jin’s happy delusion of “I have four teammates anyway, so there are plenty of others to send out besides me.”
And as a result.
“Ha-jin hyung, do you play footvolley with your feet? Oh, footvolley is naturally played with feet anyway.”
“….”
Kang Ha-jin. (Age 20. Regressor.) Currently displaying the remarkable feat of attending all five events held so far!
“Hey!!!! Kang Ha-jin, you were on the elementary school track team!!!!! Why aren’t you doing this properly!!??”
“Ah~ frustrated beyond measure, Yellow Team captain Seo Tae-hyun finally snapped at player Kang Ha-jin!”
“I’ve been thinking about it since before, but Tae-hyun really has great lung capacity.”
“Right? The production team is impressed we chose such a remote location!”
The broadcasting MCs were more irritating than the frustrated Seo Tae-hyun.
The ball was clearly coming at him, and Ha-jin awkwardly raised his foot, but it hit at such an odd angle that the ball lost direction and flew far away.
As the scoreboard changed with another point conceded, Seo Tae-hyun was now clutching the back of his neck and collapsing.
[System Notification: The system expresses regret at the fixed regressor’s desperate footvolley skills…. (;´ Д `)]
‘You’re the one who reduced my athletic ability as a penalty—you have no right to say anything.’
[System Notification: That was just a joke, though? ( -_・)?]
This bastard…?
But Thirteen wasn’t about to miss this opportunity, thoroughly teasing the sprawled Ha-jin before disappearing. The determination to repay all the fraud and mistreatment he’d endured was evident.
“Ah~! Captain Seo Tae-hyun. You’re requesting a player substitution after all!”
“Wouldn’t it have been better to substitute from the beginning, Caster Nam Da-down?”
“Since players designated by the opposing team must fulfill a certain amount of time, I believe this was Captain Seo Tae-hyun’s best choice. However, the point deficit caused by player Kang Ha-jin’s mistakes must sting.”
They were really having fun.
On his way back to his team camp, Ha-jin glared at the broadcasting booth once for good measure. But now he lacked even the energy to glare, so he furrowed his brow and gave up.
Returning to the team camp, Seo Tae-hyun handed me a towel and ice water with a heavy sigh.
“This is an insult to the nickname ‘Master of Wall-Climbing.'”
“Tae-hyun, sometimes life feels unbearably hard.”
“Don’t you see how much you’re hurting our team’s scoreboard right now?”
“…I did my best, trust me.”
So let me offer an explanation at this point.
My athletic ability was far from lacking—in fact, compared to others, I could say it was rather exceptional. My parents were both athletic, and I enjoyed sports myself.
The exception was ball sports. More precisely, ball sports played with the feet.
‘That bastard Senior Soldier only harassed me because I was terrible at soccer.’
Senior Soldier loved soccer, but I couldn’t play it? That was a sin. Therefore, I was a sinner. Of course, I avoided being treated as completely useless because I excelled at everything else.
-Your body moves well, so why do you always mess up the moment you touch a ball?
It was something another Senior Soldier I was close with used to say, always amazed by me. But from my perspective, I had plenty to say in return.
‘I never had the chance to practice!’
I was the kind of person who went to the Practice Room while others ate lunch and headed to the Sports Ground. Occasionally the trainees would play one-bounce or ball games together, but those kids who didn’t even train with me would never include me.
And unfortunately, all the events held so far were sports that required using your feet!
‘Who makes footsal the warm-up game for the first match?!’
Of course, it wasn’t done by the book—it was entertainment-style footsal where you roll around in a pool covered with soap bubbles….
From that one footsal match, I’d been nominated by the opposing team every single time, resulting in perfect attendance across all games.
I’d even earned a nickname. Yellow Team’s X-Man.
“They told me to play soccer and I hit a home run with the ball, they told me to kick a shuttlecock and I took a shot instead….”
“Ah, I’m sorry.”
“Sigh, really…. It was funny so I’ll let it slide.”
“Really?”
Fortunately, Seo Tae-hyun was someone whose eyes were as blinded by broadcast footage as they were by benefits, so my entertainment value apparently warranted mitigation. (Being so terrible at it was actually hilarious.)
The way he’d been shouting frantically until just moments ago seemed like pure acting (though it probably was), and Tae-hyun’s expression returned to its usual calm.
“Well, the team scores aren’t that far apart anyway.”
Tae-hyun’s gaze turned toward the scoreboard displaying the team rankings.
【1st Place – Phoenix Team】
【2nd Place – Yellow Team】
【3rd Place – Lilac Team】
【4th Place – Blue Dragon Team】
Remarkably, the Yellow Team was holding 2nd place overall (despite my insane trolling)!
And the hero of that victory was right there at this very moment.
“Ah~! Player Lee Do-ha, can he receive that! Truly remarkable!”
The ball that came flying fast and bounced high found its proper trajectory with a single header from Lee Do-ha, setting it up perfectly for an attack. Kim Won-ho, whistling with satisfaction, delivered the finishing blow.
“Ah! Finally!! Finally the Yellow Team wins!!”
“Player Lee Do-ha is impressive. He came in as a substitute and instantly reversed the score!”
“Player Lee Do-ha’s performance today is truly remarkable~ He’s bouncing around like that even in acupressure slippers! Actually, that’s usually a penalty in entertainment shows! If you’re wearing those, the rule is one step equals one scream, you know?”
The production team, serious about entertainment, wouldn’t have just randomly chosen footsal.
You had to wear shoes randomly selected through a draw, and Lee Do-ha had drawn the acupressure slippers.
Just wearing it alone should make blood rush through your entire body with a tingling sensation—that’s the true mark of an entertainment cheat key!
Yet Lee Do-ha returned to Team Camp with a perfectly serene expression, high-fiving his other teammates along the way.
Seo Tae-hyun pointed at Do-ha with his chin, breaking into a deeply satisfied smile.
“Who would’ve thought Do-ha would be selected?”
“…Right? I didn’t expect it either.”
Lee Do-ha, whose athletic prowess was plainly evident, was none other than the youngest son of the gymnasium director.
Before he seriously committed to music, his father had taught him every sport imaginable, sparing no discipline in his training.
True to form, Lee Do-ha was delivering an unrivaled performance at this sports festival. The fact that I’d been entered in every single event was itself proof—the opposing teams were deliberately checking me to neutralize Do-ha’s dominance.
“I should’ve recognized it when he did the concept photo as an athlete. The guy’s so good at sports, but why is his dancing so terrible?”
Seo Tae-hyun tilted his head in genuine bewilderment.
Watching Tae-hyun repeat exactly what Senior Soldier had said to me, I laughed awkwardly and took a long swig of water.
‘Those are two completely different things, man…!’
I had a strong premonition that today was going to be an extremely long one.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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