Grab the Regressor by the Collar and Debut - Chapter 347

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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347. ADMIRATION AND SALVATION (6)
“No, I was just wondering. Every time you see Ju Eun-chan, your face gets all complicated, so I thought maybe something was up. …Ah, hot, hot, hot, hot!”
“…You’re something else, seriously.”
Kang Ha-jin was being openly sarcastic.
From scratching himself raw and then blinking with an “or maybe not” attitude, to shoving that piping hot cheese bread into his mouth and making a whole spectacle of it—there was no end to the ways he got under Dan Ha-ru’s skin.
But Dan Ha-ru knew this was Kang Ha-jin’s way of conducting himself. It was a tactic to get him to open up by being annoying enough to provoke a reaction.
So Dan Ha-ru kept his mouth shut. For some reason, it felt like he shouldn’t speak carelessly with Kang Ha-jin.
“Hmm….”
As expected, the moment I fell silent, Kang Ha-jin raised his eyebrows with a look of surprise and made a low sound. Realizing that he was indeed trying to get me to speak this way, I clamped my mouth even more firmly shut.
But Kang Ha-jin was different.
“Looks like you care about others more than you let on.”
The moment I closed my mouth, Kang Ha-jin simply started talking on his own. He tossed the cheese bread stick into a bag with the other trash, his voice bright and casual as he rambled on.
“I already knew you thought Eun-chan’s social phobia and panic disorder came from your regression, but it seems like you’re carrying even more guilt than I thought?”
“….”
“But if we’re going by that logic, shouldn’t you feel more sorry toward Tae-hyun? He’s been stuck losing his livelihood because of you. Now that things are going well, are you just not thinking about it anymore? But that applies to Eun-chan too, doesn’t it? Even if he’s a bit shy, he’s not showing signs of social phobia or panic attacks right now….”
“….”
“The algorithm doesn’t make sense to me.”
His attitude, chin propped up at an angle, was nothing short of delinquent. Still, I bit the inside of my cheek and refused to speak. Then Kang Ha-jin, as if that was exactly what he wanted, draped his other arm over the chair and smiled with complete ease.
“Is not wanting to live as Dan Ha-ru because you’re trying to escape that guilt? Because facing those emotions while living is too much to bear? You’re a thorough avoidant type too.”
“….”
“But why doesn’t that guilt apply to me? I’m the one who had to go to the Military three times because of you? Let me emphasize again—if you had to answer for the regression to someone among us, it should be me, right?”
“…What are you doing? What if someone hears you?”
Kang Ha-jin finally got me to open my mouth. I hated how he kept hitting my weak points with every word he spoke. So I forced out words, suppressing my irritation, with the sole purpose of making him shut up.
Then Kang Ha-jin waved his hand dismissively, as if wondering why I’d worry about such a thing.
“Why are you bringing that up now? Don’t worry, to everyone else it just sounds like ‘what should we eat for dinner tonight’?”
Kang Ha-jin added words I found hard to understand, explaining it was an ability that came about when he’d fought with Jeong Si-u and called Ji Su-ho in anger. But I didn’t ask what he meant.
I just asked something else.
“And you—is meddling in pointless things just your natural instinct?”
At my irritated tone, Kang Ha-jin finally stopped talking. The way he gestured with his eyes as if to say “go ahead, keep going” was annoying, but once my mouth opened, I couldn’t stop the words that followed.
“Keep that meddling for your Group Members. In three months, once Ha-ru returns, I’ll be absorbed into his personality or deleted or whatever, and I won’t come back to this tedious world again.”
“…Tedious?”
“Isn’t it tedious for you?”
The corner of my mouth twisted up. A bitter laugh escaped my lips.
“I regressed every time Ha-ru was abandoned by the world. And I’ve lost count of how many times that was.”
“….”
“When there were no parents, they said I didn’t know anything because I grew up without them, and when there were parents, they envied me and said I didn’t know anything because I was only loved. Yet the Ha-ru they saw was always the same person.”
I continued, recalling the hypocrisy and falsehood of the world I had experienced and felt.
“That’s right, I’m the one who created the misfortune of Ju Eun-chan and Seo Tae-hyun. I was afraid of dying, so I ran away, and I was afraid of even living through that death, so I dumped everything on Ha-ru and hid behind him.”
“….”
“So don’t keep expecting something from a person like me. After all, you too….”
“….”
“After all, it’d be so much better if someone like me just quietly disappeared and only Ha-ru remained.”
Dan Ha-ru held only one certainty in his heart.
That Kang Ha-jin cherished Dan Ha-ru.
The only thing that allowed me to endure the hell of facing the Group Members’ faces every morning—those who had nearly had their lives destroyed because of me—was the thought that in three months, all of this would end.
When Ha-ru returned after three months, Kang Ha-jin and the other members, along with the fans, would all love and care for Ha-ru without reservation.
So none of this was meant for me to enjoy. Dan Ha-ru, who had long since abandoned his own name, was merely enduring someone else’s time in his place.
Dan Ha-ru’s goal was singular.
To break nothing, to fail at nothing, and simply to wait for time to pass.
So it was only natural that I found it unwelcome when Kang Ha-jin kept trying to draw something out of me.
“…You know what?”
Kang Ha-jin, who had been silent for a long time, opened his mouth again.
“I’ve been hearing that phrase ‘After all, it’s not me anyway….’ pretty often lately.”
“….”
“Lee Yu-gun said it before, Jeong Si-u said it too…. And way back when, I think I even said it to myself, though I can barely remember.”
Kang Ha-jin spoke as if recalling old memories, squinting one eye. He turned his gaze briefly, watching Ju Eun-chan in the distance holding a hotbar while conversing with a Staff Member, before continuing.
“After hearing it a few times, I figured it out.”
“….”
“That it’s actually a sign asking me to say that you’re needed.”
With those words, Ha-jin stood up. He picked up the cola pop he’d pushed toward Ha-ru earlier, holding a trash bag in his hand. The cola pop, now cold, was still about half-empty.
Ha-jin chuckled at Ha-ru, who had reluctantly forced the cola pop into his mouth rather than lose to himself, and tossed the remainder into his own mouth. After quickly chewing and swallowing the meager amount of cola pop, Ha-jin spoke to Ha-ru, who remained seated in silence.
“Well, you know…. It’s not like I have some grand dream of giving you some elaborate pep talk or anything.”
“….”
“Your regression was an opportunity for me.”
At words he’d never heard before, Dan Ha-ru lifted his head. Kang Ha-jin spoke with a shameless expression devoid of any embarrassment.
“As someone who achieved his dream thanks to you, it’d be pretty ungrateful of me to just sit idle, wouldn’t it?”
Leaving only those words behind, Kang Ha-jin turned without hesitation and headed toward where Ju Eun-chan was.
Dan Ha-ru watched his retreating figure in silence. For some reason, the memory of when he first met him came to mind.
-Ah, maybe I’m overstepping? It just seemed like something hard to talk about with the kids inside.
The person who made everything I thought impossible possible.
The person who corrected everything I thought I had ruined.
The only adult who first extended a hand to Dan Ha-ru’s world.
And that person was saying that he had gained an opportunity because of my regression.
“….”
An strange emotion slowly welled up from beneath my feet.
The moisture throughout my body rippled like waves, and something seemed about to surge up past my throat. It was a different sensation from nausea, and Dan Ha-ru, whose memory of shedding tears from sadness was far too distant, failed to recognize it as weeping.
“Ha-ru, let’s go. We’re moving to a different area now.”
In the meantime, Ju Eun-chan, who had finished his hotbar, approached me with a balloon as large as himself in hand. Then he lowered his head, meeting my eyes, and asked.
“Did you cry?”
“…No, nothing like that.”
As expected, Ju Eun-chan’s perceptiveness sharpened exclusively around Dan Ha-ru, and he easily caught the shift in Ha-ru’s emotions. Only after hearing those words did Ha-ru realize he might actually want to cry, but he instinctively shook his head and denied it.
Even at such an obvious lie, Eun-chan smiled warmly and nodded in acceptance.
“Your eyes must be dry. I’ll go ask Coordinator Noona for some artificial tears.”
“….”
“Come on, Ha-ru.”
And with that, he casually extended his hand.
It was Ha-ru himself who’d gotten lost just ten minutes into filming, yet the gesture resembled a seven-year-old older brother firmly grasping his younger sibling’s hand at the Theme Park to avoid losing him.
Dan Ha-ru grasped that hand without hesitation.
“Hyung, I brought Ha-ru.”
“Good job. Let’s go then.”
Kang Ha-jin glanced sideways at himself holding Ju Eun-chan’s hand but moved forward without comment.
As afternoon approached, the Theme Park had noticeably grown more crowded than before. The Manager and security personnel carefully cleared a path, with Ha-jin securing space decisively at the front, while Eun-chan followed closely behind, gripping Ha-ru’s hand tightly lest he slip away.
“Huh? What, hyung, why are we going this way?”
“Because the course goes this way. How’d you do? How many vouchers did you get?”
“We’re at seventy now? If we do a bit more in the afternoon, we should be good. Si-woo hyung was better at it than I expected.”
During their movement, they encountered Tae-hyun and Si-woo, who were also heading elsewhere. Ha-jin, spotting them first, smiled warmly and continued the conversation.
Meanwhile, Jeong Si-u approached Eun-chan and Ha-ru, wearing bizarre alien sunglasses and an alien headband from who-knows-where, with fairy wings slung over his shoulder like something children would wear.
“Youngest ones.”
Jeong Si-u’s cheerful voice rang out sweetly. He removed the alien sunglasses and tucked them into his collar, then stood before the two with an amused smile. He then tapped the balloon attached to Ha-ru’s hand and spoke.
“Cute, right?”
“Ha-jin hyung bought it for me. I said I didn’t need it….”
“Why not? It’s easy to spot from far away and looks nice.”
Si-woo answered coolly, then turned his gaze to Ha-ru. When Ha-ru met his eyes, Si-woo looked at him with the tenderness one reserves for a cute younger sibling and asked.
“Ha-ru added another item to your bucket list?”
“…Pardon?”
“You told me before. You wanted to ride a roller coaster a hundred times at the Theme Park with your hyungs. That’s why I gave up the fun rides today.”
Though the person who told him that bucket list was probably not himself, but the other Ha-ru.
Dan Ha-ru, as always, nodded and smiled first.
“Yes, it’s fun. …I want to come again.”
“Yeah? Then we should come again next time.”
Want to come again.
Something about those words made his chest feel strange.
Yet Dan Ha-ru desperately pretended not to notice the feeling. Meanwhile, Lee Yu-gun and Lee Do-ha were joining the group from a distance. The two of them, having ridden nothing more than a carousel and bumper cars, were already looking exhausted as they complained to Seo Tae-hyun and Kang Ha-jin.
“Come on, how much did you even ride to be like this already?”
“…You’d be better off working at the Theme Park. You’d probably be good at that.”
“Don’t tell me you’re already worn out from one carousel ride?”
“It’s not physical damage—it’s psychological damage that’s overwhelming. Do you have any idea how humiliating it is for two large men to ride a carousel and take commemorative photos among all the children?”
“Then would you rather do bungee jumping instead, Yu-gun?”
“…That would be double physical and psychological damage.”
As Lee Yu-gun whined to Tae-hyun and Ha-jin, Lee Do-ha, whose complexion hadn’t looked good, quietly approached Ha-ru. Dan Ha-ru felt Do-ha give him a light nod in greeting to Si-woo, then glance at him, and he appropriately averted his gaze.
Lee Do-ha didn’t react much to Ha-ru’s response and soon held out something he was carrying to Eun-chan.
“Huh? What is this, hyung?”
“Egg mayo sandwich. I won it from a mini mission. Share it with Ha-ru.”
“Oh, yes. Thank you, hyung. Ha-ru, this is something you like. Should we eat it now? Or do you want to eat it later?”
Eun-chan confirmed that what was in the bag was the egg mayo sandwich Ha-ru loved and turned to ask him. Realizing that all eyes had suddenly shifted to me, Dan Ha-ru lifted his head with a slight sense of discomfort. My gaze met Lee Do-ha’s, who was staring at me intently.
Lee Do-ha asked calmly, his expression still blank.
“Your taste hasn’t changed, has it?”
Ha-ru, who understood that Lee Do-ha knew ‘Ha-ru’ and himself were different, and who recognized that this question meant ‘Your taste isn’t different from that Ha-ru’s, is it?’, pondered for a moment before nodding.
Do-ha then turned back toward where Yu Gun was, his expression satisfied as if to say it was fine.
“Ha-ru, should we eat the sandwich later?”
When Ha-ru didn’t answer, Eun-chan asked again in a gentle voice. Only then did Ha-ru, recognizing Eun-chan’s voice, come to his senses and respond.
“Ah… yeah. Let’s eat it later. I feel like I might get dizzy from the rides.”
“Mm, okay. Then tell me if you get hungry later?”
“Yeah.”
Watching Eun-chan fuss over him like a mother bird despite being only a year older, Ha-ru fell silent once more. Something that had been stirring within him all along seemed to be taking shape again, and Dan Ha-ru was displeased by it.
Yet in the end, a certain sentence formed within his heart nonetheless.
‘…I envy Ha-ru.’
It was a feeling of desire awakening for things he should never covet.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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