Grab the Regressor by the Collar and Debut - Chapter 346

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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346. Longing and Salvation (5)
Dreamland—where dreams and hope spring eternal, where adventure and fantasy overflow.
And there I was….
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
…plummeting from forty meters above ground with every shred of childhood wonder obliterated.
-Now~ everyone~ here comes the question~ pay close attention~
“WHAT!!!!!!!! AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK ATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”
Kwon PD’s voice crackled through the earpiece clipped to my ear, but I heard nothing. Even if I had heard it, I wouldn’t have. Even if it had pierced my eardrums, I couldn’t have processed it. In any case, I heard absolutely nothing.
‘So this bastard really is dropping me from the height of a fifteen-story apartment building…!’
Of all the countless things that could repeat across so many timelines, why did it have to be this? The vertiginous landscape below rushed upward at terrifying speed. The weightless sensation of my heart climbing into my throat coexisted simultaneously with the crushing pressure of the safety bar pressing hard against my shoulders and upper arms.
The most infuriating part was that it was actually fun. I was the real problem—thoroughly enjoying every second of this.
While I continued screaming mindlessly, the ride operator’s monotone, rhythmic announcement came drifting down.
-From the highest point to the lowest! Dreamland’s mascot plummeting at speeds faster than light—the Giant Drop~
-A special service for all our wonderful guests! One final exciting bounce, bounce~
Could we possibly skip the service and bouncing part?
My mind was screaming exactly that from the deepest recesses of my consciousness, yet all that emerged from my mouth was an inhuman shriek. I glanced left and right, hoping the other two might at least have their wits about them, only to find Ju Eun-chan and Dan Ha-ru with their souls halfway departed—one losing his mind, the other fading away.
Even as hope vanished in that moment, the Giant Drop carrying us soared skyward without hesitation, then….
-Fun and exciting~ bounce! Bounce!
…plunged downward again at even greater speed, only to rise once more, repeating the cycle.
“This is absolutely insane, you maniacs―!!!!!!!”
How am I supposed to perform tonight after this!?
My resounding screams scattered faintly through the air above….
* * *
“So, Ha-jin! I thought you said you were good at riding attractions…?”
The moment we stepped off the Giant Drop, Kwon Myung-eun PD asked with an irritating tone. I, who had been staring blankly at the sky while gripping Ju Eun-chan’s shoulder and holding my forehead, merely lifted my gaze. My eyes conveyed the message: ‘Are you seriously calling that a question?’
“If being ‘good at riding attractions’ means surviving an hour of two ultra-speed roller coasters, three mega swings, four bungee drops, and two Giant Drops without falling apart, then no. I’m absolutely terrible at riding attractions.”
This damned sponsor certainly had deep pockets.
Rather than simply granting us unlimited ride passes for the day, they’d provided infinite priority passes allowing us to enter every attraction at the park first. Normally, rides involve waiting in line and catching your breath between attractions, but this cursed pass meant we’d been unable to touch solid ground since filming started.
‘If only we’d succeeded at the missions, we could’ve filled our quota quickly and actually enjoyed ourselves….’
The production team had prepared what they claimed were the most difficult missions, and every single one assigned to our team was brutally hard!
Moreover, Ju Eun-chan, who was experiencing proper amusement park rides for the first time, and Dan Ha-ru, in a similar situation, were too busy savoring the thrills to be of any real help!
As a result, despite riding so many attractions, we’d only managed to collect five invitation passes. Considering we needed a minimum of 140 passes by 4 PM today, our success rate was pathetic.
“Alright! Now for the mission question!”
Kwon PD wore a confident smile, clearly anticipating our failure once again.
At this rate, we wouldn’t obtain enough invitation passes, and the production team would seize that moment of our despair to present some enormous hidden mission. That was how idol reality shows were structured—all basically the same.
‘And that hidden mission will probably be the most grueling while also looking great on camera, and it’ll be exactly where the sponsor most wants exposure, so we’ll inevitably take it on and make this PPL even more profitable.’
Yeah, yeah. I know how this works. I do too.
“When you all reached the highest point of the Giant Drop at forty-seven meters above ground, something special was happening down here. Our Dreamland mascot, Doctor Land, was dancing to an exciting song!”
“….”
“So, which song and which part of the dance was Doctor Land performing?”
“Correct.”
“…Correct?”
“Kairos ‘Spring Never Comes’, everything shall perish―♪”
“…Yes, correct!”
Though I knew full well what was happening, I had absolutely no intention of following Kwon PD’s perfectly orchestrated plan to the letter today.
Would he really have hung me up and thrown me down…?
“How, how did you know? How did you see it? You looked like your eyes were closed?”
Kwon PD’s voice carried genuine surprise, and I shrugged my shoulders while flashing the most shameless smile I could muster.
“I have exceptionally keen dynamic visual acuity.”
At that, my true cheat key suddenly popped out from the side and began grumbling.
[System Alert: You heard that from me!!!!]
[System Alert: The System expresses exasperation at the fixed regressor’s shameless interception, releasing an indignant snort!]
‘What, seriously. Should I confess here that I’m actually receiving visual interference from a non-human entity, and that this entity confirms and relays missions on my behalf? Do I need to book a psychiatric consultation?’
[System Alert: – 3-]
One corner of the system window stretched out long like an open mouth. Of course, it wasn’t as if I expected it to actually want me to say “the System did it for me.” Judging by the sparkling effects continuously bursting forth, it seemed rather excited to finally have something entertaining happen.
‘Still, don’t get too carried away. Keep your eyes open. Something feels off about this.’
[System Alert: The System acknowledges the fixed regressor’s request.]
[System Alert: Mental care program for colleagues ‘Ju Eun-chan’ and ‘Dan Ha-ru’ is being strengthened.]
[System Alert: Timeline protection system for colleagues ‘Ju Eun-chan’ and ‘Dan Ha-ru’ is now active.]
Only after confirming the System was functioning normally did I refocus on the recording. For now, if I continued completing missions with Thirteen’s help like this, reaching the target quota seemed feasible.
With that thought, the moment I extended my hand to Kwon PD asking for the promised invitations….
“Then! What was the jersey number on the costume Doctor Land was wearing?”
“Huh↗?”
Ah, this instructor really does play games in a devious way.
Even as I reacted with bewilderment, the moment I hesitated to seek Thirteen’s help, Dan Ha-ru, who had been keeping his head down beside me trying to calm his startled heart, suddenly snapped his head up.
“Number 47!”
“…Y-yes, that’s, that’s correct…!”
“Then…?”
“M-m… Mission success! You’ve secured 10 additional invitations!”
“Woooow!”
At Dan Ha-ru’s thunderous cry, Kwon PD genuinely exclaimed in astonishment, announcing the mission success. With the number of invitations jumping into double digits in an instant, a loud cheer burst forth naturally. So much so that even the rebellious Dan Ha-ru clenched his fists and savored the joy.
Ju Eun-chan, burning with competitive spirit, also looked thoroughly excited. The boy, who had been bouncing silently, extended his hand to Dan Ha-ru with a flushed face.
“…?”
“Ha-ru, nice!”
“…Yeah.”
Dan Ha-ru, who had stared at the outstretched hand for a moment, gave in and high-fived Ju Eun-chan. As if he’d known it would be accepted, Ju Eun-chan grinned and extended his hand to me as well, and I unhesitatingly returned the gesture.
“Hey, maknae.”
“…? What.”
Seizing the moment, I subtly extended my hand to Dan Ha-ru as well, and the rebellious Dan Ha-ru looked at me with eyes that said “what do you want?” But when I gave him a hint that the camera was still rolling, he once again reluctantly high-fived me with a resounding slap.
“Well then, Kang-Ju-Dan Team! You’ve successfully completed 2 missions so far. Since you succeeded in this Giant Drop mission on your first attempt, we’ll reward you with Dream Coins—spending money to enjoy food and attractions at Dreamland.”
Oh, nice haul.
I accepted the production coins from the assistant director. I was getting hungry anyway, so I could use this to buy the kids some snacks. Ju Eun-chan then leaned in beside me to check how much I’d received.
“Hyung, can I eat that hot bar?”
“Sure. We’re doing all this to make a living anyway—what’s one hot bar? Let’s head straight to Snack Town.”
“Yes!”
“But before that….”
“…?”
As I was about to drag the two youngest toward the snack bar, something caught my eye. It was the perfect item for managing these two unpredictable kids.
“Let’s buy that first.”
Ju Eun-chan and Dan Ha-ru’s gazes followed the direction of my finger. When Dan Ha-ru identified what the item was, his expression twisted oddly.
Of course, I didn’t care.
* * *
A brief break to regroup.
Sitting at one of the parasol tables at Snack Town, Dan Ha-ru had a sincere thought.
‘Should I kill Kang Ha-jin?’
The bracelet wrapped around his right wrist clinked softly as his hands came together in a prayer-like gesture. With each of Dan Ha-ru’s movements, something connected to the bracelet bobbed gently. Dan Ha-ru glared at that ‘something’ with an expression full of exasperation.
“….”
It was a massive, adorable character balloon that would be visible from 300 meters away. It was far larger than the one Ju Eun-chan had bought earlier, and the string was unnecessarily long and sturdy.
It was the anti-lost device Kang Ha-jin had fastened around the youngest members’ wrists instead of leashes, and the very reason Dan Ha-ru had decided to kill Kang Ha-jin.
“What, you’re going to pop the balloon with just a glare?”
Someone sat down across from Dan Ha-ru and threw out a joke.
It was Kang Ha-jin, the very person who had bought this balloon and fastened it to his wrist, threatening to immediately start a personality merge the moment he undid it. He’d gone with Ju Eun-chan to buy snacks and now set down a pile of things like call pops and cheese bread on the table.
“…Why did you come alone? Where’s Ju Eun-chan?”
“He’s being overly cautious. Over there, see? He’s waiting for his hot bar.”
“….”
Looking in the direction Kang Ha-jin pointed, I could see Ju Eun-chan chatting away with another production staff member while waiting for his hot bar. A massive ribbon balloon bobbed gently from his wrist as well, making him easy to spot at a glance.
Only then, as if slightly relieved, Dan Ha-ru leaned back in his chair. Ha-jin held out a call pop and gestured with his chin.
“Eat. Just fried—it’s insanely delicious.”
“…No thanks.”
“Why? Afraid if you eat one, you’ll like it so much you’ll want to buy more?”
Ha-jin grinned slyly and raised his eyebrows. Even knowing the remark was meant to provoke him, Dan Ha-ru felt his mood sour. He clenched his teeth but eventually sighed and pulled the call pop toward himself. He was slowly realizing that Ha-jin was the type who would force-feed him by grabbing his jaw if he refused.
The warm, crispy chicken popcorn spread a salty flavor across his palate.
Perhaps because he’d repeated so many meaningless timelines, Dan Ha-ru’s taste buds had grown dull as stone at some point and couldn’t register it as ‘delicious.’ He’d lived for so long without distinguishing what was better or worse, without even bothering to.
‘If it were Ha-ru, he would’ve enjoyed something like this.’
Dan Ha-ru still longed for that other self who had vanished behind his unconscious mind. It bothered him that he seemed to be ruining all the happiness and pleasant excitement that Ha-ru should have been enjoying.
‘I… I only ruin everything.’
Whenever his sense of life became apparent, that tenacious sensation of failure and defeat that had clung to him for so long also resurged. His mood darkened.
“Ha-ru.”
Then someone’s voice easily pulled him out of the darkness and dampness that had engulfed him back to reality.
It was Kang Ha-jin, making a fuss as he stretched and ate the freshly baked cheese bread.
He asked in an utterly carefree tone, his eyes gleaming with curiosity.
“Do you happen to like our Eun-chan?”
“…What?”
Was he seriously trying to kill me?
Dan Ha-ru’s momentary sentimentality crumpled like tissue paper in an instant.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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