Debut or Die - Chapter 301

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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A Fatal Illness if I Don’t Debut – Episode 301
T-Holic’s Show Business was a studio variety show that had largely disappeared, now overshadowed by observational variety programs.
Unlike observational shows that manufacture interesting situations through editing, this was a format where only genuinely funny people survived.
“Ahahaha!! I’m losing it.”
“Why? Why?”
“No… do you know what Wonseok hyung just said? ‘Do all idols look like that these days?'”
The spot-on impression sent the staff into fits of laughter. The member being called out responded sheepishly.
“No, I wasn’t the only one surprised.”
“Right? That’s true.”
“You didn’t know? If we’d debuted back then, we would’ve flopped. You guys. Don’t forget that and stay humble.”
“No way, riding the zeitgeist well is also our talent, you know?”
“Stop it! You’re making me sad!”
Look at how they start spouting lines the moment the camera rolls.
They’re practically professional entertainers, and thanks to their idol image, that itself becomes their character.
Whether that’s prejudice or generosity.
‘That’s why a solo guest performing here is bound to struggle.’
In a show they created for themselves, where they monopolize the spotlight, guests inevitably depend on the hosts.
Especially since these guys are major seniors. Most appearances start from a position of seniority disadvantage.
“Wow, people were born after the millennials?”
“They’re so cute, you guys.”
Naturally, T-Holic, being considerate of the atmosphere, would set the stage for the junior and spoon-feed them opportunities.
And that’s how this picture forms.
T-Holic really knows how to promote things well lol
-It’s been a while since I’ve seen you speak so comfortably on a children’s broadcast. Thank you!♡
-As expected, appearing on T-Holic’s Show Business cures any broadcast nervousness
The moment momentum shifts, attention gets stolen, and the guest’s presence diminishes to just another component of the show.
But if there’s someone who doesn’t care about seniority or any of that, things change.
“That cuteness is too small! That’s cool!”
“Huh?”
Cha Yu-jin suddenly raised his hand and shouted.
It’s the first time they’ve seen such fierce(?) resistance from the start, and T-Holic’s mouth falls open.
‘I knew it.’
Cha Yu-jin doesn’t know T-Holic well.
Senior or whatever—he just talks enthusiastically the way he normally does.
And it doesn’t even come across as rude. Because he’s a foreigner.
“Really?”
“Yes! I’m a tiger.”
“I see. So our friend Cha Yu-jin is a tiger.”
“That’s right! Tiger~ Like a T!”
“T!”
“Don’t tap the beat trying to look cool, hyung.”
Still, people would let it slide. Cha Yu-jin’s American sensibility was already legendary.
‘And the rest of them will cover for me.’
The T-Holic members, accustomed to driving the program entertainingly and lifting the mood like clockwork, couldn’t afford to be serious or clumsy around Cha Yu-jin.
‘Plus, I’ve got someone right next to me to neutralize things.’
“Cha Yu-jin! When someone gives you a compliment, you’re supposed to accept it graciously!”
It was Kim Rae-bin.
He seemed to be whispering, but with the microphone on, it was pointless.
“I accepted it! I didn’t refuse!”
“You downplayed it by saying ‘small.’ That could come across as rude!”
“I meant cool is bigger than cute! Thank you for the compliment.”
“Uh, uh, uh.”
“No, we get it! We get it!”
“Thank you so much for understanding! I’ll show you my best effort today.”
“That much?”
Watching Cha Yu-jin and Kim Rae-bin bow, with T-Holic hurriedly bowing along with them, was hilarious.
‘Good impact.’
And I noticed a few members of T-Holic who’d stepped back making eye contact with each other, laughing.
They’d probably concluded that the dynamic of them struggling at the beginning would be entertaining too.
“Yes, Testa is very cute, adorable, and cool!”
“Hehe.”
“Is this Gen Z? Don’t we seem a bit old?”
“Hyung, we’re all idols in our thirties. We’re already in the coffin in that industry.”
The dynamic was set up as T-Holic, unable to understand the new generation, desperately trying to adapt to fresh sensibilities.
I’d turned Cha Yu-jin’s unstoppable momentum to my advantage.
‘The focus is still on T-Holic.’
Testa, currently a rising idol, had been positioned slightly opposite T-Holic.
And I was faithfully playing the role of the quiet voice of reason in all this.
“So you’re the main vocalist, right?”
“Yes, that’s correct.”
“Ah, my song! I heard your version of ‘Party in Me’ and it was amazing.”
“Don’t lie, you were in the military!”
“No! I came out on leave and heard it!”
“Ah, that’s truly an honor. Thank you.”
“Yeah~ Your singing is really great, hyung!”
I sang a verse of the song on request and received applause.
I’d done all the predictable things an idol appearing for promotion could manage—hitting the minimum screen time.
The angle would come together naturally.
‘Ah, this guy’s sensibility is pretty ordinary, so I’ll keep it as is, and I’ll pull the dynamic from those two.’
Since those two were so accustomed to variety shows, they’d already shown their worth.
‘These guys probably didn’t even pre-screen my variety show appearances.’
At most, they’d have checked my recent activities and performance metrics, so it was better if they thought I had a composed personality.
“Alright, and that wraps up the self-introduction segment!”
They seemed satisfied with the entertaining moments they’d extracted from Cha Yu-jin and Kim Rae-bin’s casual banter, so they moved on to the next part.
Essentially the main segment.
It was primarily humor-focused content interspersed with games.
Things like playing basketball without a ball, chairs flying into a ball pit, or drawing portraits with your feet and guessing who they are—that sort of thing.
“Track 2 of T-Holic’s Show Business—it’s time for a game that reveals our true hearts!”
Since this was the main segment, I’d made a few predictions about what kind of game it might be, and the most likely candidate seemed to be….
“The game we’ll be playing with Testa today is~ 【That Actually Makes Sense When You Think About It】!”
“Pfft.”
Yeah. That’s it.
I cleared my throat before I could choke. …I couldn’t help it—I’d heard that phrase somewhere before.
‘I’m glad I looked into this beforehand.’
The first time I saw it on YouTube, I nearly spit out the water I was drinking.
“Hyung, staying hydrated is important.”
Right, thanks. I drank the water Kim Rae-bin handed me while listening intently to T-Holic’s flashy hosting.
‘Anyway, the segment I predicted actually showed up.’
It was a segment that appeared roughly once every three episodes recently, and since the reaction was so good, I figured they’d use it when we moved up to the first team.
[That Actually Makes Sense When You Think About It!]
Just from the title alone, it might sound like I’d be persuading the other side like I usually do, but it’s similar yet different.
T-Holic’s youngest member picked up a voice-modulating microphone and proceeded with exaggerated seriousness.
“Each team will choose one of two captains to try to persuade the other side. Once one team is logically convinced, the game ends. The losing team faces a terrifying penalty.”
“Whichever team wins the mini-game gets to choose their captain first. Then, good luck to you all.”
The rules sounded normal enough. But these guys always planted traps in every game.
Usually, that trap was revealed after the mini-game ended and the captains were announced.
“Tada!”
[Our team’s goal for next year]
[Receiving 1 billion won VS Getting stranded]
“…???”
“Hahahaha!! These guys are insane!!”
“Welcome to T-Holic’s Show Business~”
The balance was completely broken.
And T-Holic, having won the mini-game, cheerfully chose the former option.
“1 billion won! 1 billion won!”
“I’ll show this Gen Z crowd who chose getting stranded what bitterness tastes like~”
Looking at just this much, the rest seemed like it would be boring—a one-sided beatdown of the guests.
But then a second trap was revealed at the next moment.
“Everyone, I did say the game ends when someone is ‘logically convinced,’ right?”
“….”
“Wait, seriously?”
“Yes! Make it sound as plausible as possible! The team that gets logically convinced wins~”
In other words, it’s sophistry debate.
The goal is to rationally concede to the opponent’s argument.
What that means is, I have to explain my side as absurdly as possible while accepting what the other side says.
In other words, T-Holic can only win if they get convinced to choose “disaster instead of a billion won.”
Meanwhile, Testa just has to accept the obvious proposition of “a billion won instead of disaster.”
“Isn’t that cheating??”
“It’s not!”
‘That’s well constructed.’
They slip up and make it funny, while the guest gets lifted up to victory.
‘Right, they’re reflecting the best YouTube comments.’
-Even if the team that gets convinced wins, it’d be fun lolol
-Ah seriously, this nonsense debate is legendary… please milk it like bone broth!
Like newly launched startups, the production crew here seemed overly attentive to communication.
It was common to see top comments from videos reflected a couple episodes later.
So I’d anticipated several variations while watching previous videos, and I nailed it.
The flow after this is predictable.
“Uh? Well… suddenly getting a lot of money corrupts people, right? If they want to retire now~ then I think they should receive a billion won!”
“Right, right!”
“I don’t like retiring! I want to keep going!”
“Yeah~ so what should we do? Huh? There’s only one answer left, right?”
“Take a billion won and don’t retire! I won’t get corrupted. Our members are strong!”
“Wow, you’re really bold….”
“But money is such a scary thing~ No, I’m not saying don’t take the billion won!”
They’d shamelessly make ridiculous claims while teasing the guest who says sensible things, all while looking flustered themselves.
After milking the guest’s reactions to their antics, they’d gracefully take the loss….
‘Then they’d control the entire flow.’
I didn’t come here so they could set the stage however they wanted and have us use it.
I let out a quiet laugh.
‘The best way to play this game?’
Simple. Reinforce the opponent’s logic. It’s the play method everyone on the production team would expect.
If you follow that sensible flow, you get swept up by them.
So… we go the opposite direction.
I interlaced my hands on the table.
“Senior.”
“Yes, Moon-dae, go ahead~”
“I tried my best to understand and accept their side’s argument to win, but….”
I declared solemnly.
“No matter how I think about it, the argument we received is correct.”
“…??”
“I think our team would choose getting stranded over a billion won.”
“Excuse me??”
“W-what are you talking about?”
I answered seriously.
“Because we can learn values more precious than money through being stranded.”
“What?”
“Learn what?”
I answered clearly to Cha Yu-jin, who was tapping me and asking quietly.
“Realistically, anywhere we could get stranded within our current range of activity would be rescuable within a few days. During that time, we’d be learning new experiences.”
“Ah! That makes sense.”
Cha Yu-jin nodded readily.
“Then being stranded is fine! I like it!”
“…??”
T-Holic’s youngest member, who was serving as MC, interjected.
“Wait! If we go like this, won’t the shoot be ruined??”
“We can’t abandon our principles just for one segment.”
“You have principles about being stranded??”
“You guys… you’re scaring your hyung.”
Just as T-Holic’s youngest member was panicking at how absurdly things were unfolding, Kim Rae-bin nodded seriously as well.
“I agree.”
“What?”
“That’s right.”
“Yes. We’ve actually been stranded during entertainment show filming before.”
Kim Rae-bin spoke with sparkling eyes.
“And we learned a great deal from that experience.”
“Hold on.”
“I created my last album’s title track during that stranding. Choosing a billion won over being stranded would be tantamount to abandoning musical achievement in pursuit of money, wouldn’t it?”
“Why would you even worry about that?!”
Kim Rae-bin momentarily forgot he was on an entertainment show and began expressing his opinion earnestly.
I knew this would happen once he got absorbed in the topic itself.
“No… guys, think about it. Does this even make sense? What kind of stranding are we talking about??”
“How much settlement money did you get that you’re treating a billion won like a stone?!”
I raised my hand.
“Come to think of it, the title track Rae-bin created during the stranding increased our settlement amount, so there was actually some financial benefit included in that choice….”
“Oh~”
“I see!”
“Please don’t react as if that makes sense, ugh-hehehehe.”
And the Filming Studio began descending into chaos.
Just as planned.

* * *
A few days later, on a weeknight.
“Wow! He’s in this one too~”
The Graduate Student grinned at Park Moon-dae’s photo in the thumbnail, watching the preview video for “T-Holic’s Show Business” that had climbed into the trending videos.
And one minute later.
“Pfft—!”
The Graduate Student spat out the coffee she’d been drinking.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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