Black-Haired Dad Isn’t Something You Reap - Chapter 55

—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————

Chapter 55. Two Years Pass in the Blink of an Eye, But Children Grow Quickly When They’re Not Your Own (1)
My precious two years… How did they slip away so fast?
Every day I attended lessons, endured Listo’s nagging, completed my homework, played, prepared birthday celebrations for myself and my friends, prepared for Halloween festivities, prepared for Christmas, and interfered with the Military Ministry’s plans for establishing an air force from conception through implementation—and before I knew it, I had turned eight years old.
“Ugh…”
I’ve been living quite the exemplary life, haven’t I? While progress on recovering my divine status had stalled, if asked whether I’d lived my life to the fullest, I could confidently answer that I’d lived it with absolute diligence and purpose.
And having celebrated my eighth birthday, safely passed through Christmas, and welcomed the new year, I had achieved something truly remarkable.
“Are the bean pods peeled or unpeeled? What does it matter if they’re peeled or unpeeled? Peeled or unpeeled, a bean pod is still a bean pod!”
“Perfect!”
“Flawless, Pisha!”
I had completely restored the mobility of my tongue, and my pronunciation had become so precise that I could have been hired as a film narrator on the spot.
The paralysis itself had fully resolved last year, but I wasn’t satisfied with that. If I were to slur my words even once at an official gathering, wouldn’t they inevitably dredge up stories of my poisoning and use them to tarnish my reputation?
Those nobles and ministers were the type to magnify even the tiniest mistake I made, seize upon any flaw, and use it to diminish me. It had been the same before my regression. Whenever I tried to do anything, they would dismiss me, saying what could a princess raised only in the palace possibly accomplish?
I still remember what that cavalry commander from the Military Ministry said. When I pointed out that I had learned everything and spoke from knowledge, do you know what he said? “Heh heh, commanding an army is not something one can do simply by learning court etiquette in the palace.” And he actually dismissed me like that!
That bastard! That son of a bitch! I’ll kill him! Just let him cross my path! I’ll find fault with him and prevent his promotion! Actually, I’ll abolish the entire cavalry unit! Everyone uses tanks these days anyway—why the hell do we even need a cavalry unit?
“Ugh! Arrrgh!”
“Pisha, why are you suddenly in a bad mood again?”
“Let’s have some chocolate, shall we?”
Thinking that putting something sweet in my mouth would calm me down, Croa whooshed off on roller skates, retrieved some chocolate, unwrapped it, and popped it directly into my mouth.
“Mm. Delicious.”
“See? My choice was right, wasn’t it?”
As Croa puffed up with pride, Shirley clicked her tongue and began gnawing at her nails.
“Shirley, that’s a bad habit.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
You keep biting your nails like that—your thumbnail isn’t growing at all. When I took Shirley’s hand and checked if her nails were intact, the girl twisted her body uncomfortably.
“Tsk!”
Then Croa clicked his tongue loudly in return. Had their jaw strength training also developed their tongue muscles? The sound of their tongue-clicking was remarkably loud.
Thud! Boom!
Wait, déjà vu? I feel like something like this happened before? Well, Shirley is right beside me, so this little one knocking on the door in protest wouldn’t be… right?
“Gasp!”
Isn’t that the sound of Kisomalos ramming with his horns?! Old memories suddenly flooded back, and when I opened the door and stepped outside, sure enough, a golden sheep was staring at me with gleaming eyes.
Baaaa!
“…?”
But unlike back then, he doesn’t seem to be speaking human language? Still, just to be sure, I whispered a question asking if this was indeed Kisomalos, and the golden sheep nodded in affirmation while bleating “baa baa.”
“Has your rationality returned?”
Baaaa!
“But you still can’t speak?”
Baa! Baaaa!
Kisomalos’s eyes glistened with tears as he nodded. I find it remarkable that I can understand what you’re saying.
“Mmm…”
It seems you have something you want to say. But since you can’t speak, what can we do? As I pondered this, I thought of Croa. Come to think of it, while he couldn’t walk, he could run, ride, swim, and do everything else well.
“Say, Kisomalos, if you can’t speak, couldn’t you write instead?”
“…!”
The golden sheep’s eyes gleamed as though he’d just shouted “Eureka!” I’d been saying it all along—the fact that everyone in my family is a blockhead is entirely your fault, Kisomalos.
Bleat! Bleeeeat!
But I couldn’t exactly slip a pen between his hooves, so what was I to do? I was thinking about how to tie a pen to his feet when Kisomalos clattered out into the corridor and began scraping his horns across the carpet with deliberate strokes.
“Oh! I can see it! The letters are visible!”
So our palace’s finest carpet existed for this purpose! Just from the way the fabric had been worn along its grain, I could make out exactly which characters he’d written.
“Achilles, legitimate heir.”
But after writing just those two phrases, Kisomalos suddenly bleated and began scratching his back with his horns instead. Then he wandered over near an expensive sculpture in the Princess Palace and defecated right there.
“Ugh! This damned mutton’s spawn!”
Because he was my pet, Emilies couldn’t even call the lamb a lamb—she kept calling him “Mutton” with utmost formality. Watching the Emilies address him so respectfully made me acutely aware of the absurdity of a hierarchical society. I hadn’t been reading something like “Martin’s Republican Discourse” for nothing. Banned books were banned for a reason.
“Achilles, legitimate heir?”
But it wasn’t something I, standing at the very pinnacle of the class system, should worry about. Even if some revolution like that in the books were to occur someday, I would simply vanish as dew upon the guillotine. The guillotine was a hundred times preferable to being drawn and quartered.
“If Achilles is the legitimate heir, then isn’t that Shirley’s older brother?”
Why had Kisomalos left that sentence unfinished? I pondered the reason and recalled what he’d tried to tell me two years ago.
“The first thing you must do, legitimate heir of Achilles.”
I returned to my chamber and faced Sheryl Achilles.
“Shirley.”
“Yes, Pisha. Have you finished your discussion with Mutton?”
“Well, yes, we wrapped that up.”
Shirley and Croa let out soft chuckles, apparently finding it odd that I’d say I’d finished talking with a mute animal.
“But, about us.”
“Yes?”
“We’re friends, aren’t we?”
“We could be even more than that!”
Yes, that’s right. In any case, we’re definitely friends. If that’s so, then I could guess what Kisomalos had been trying to say. To raise my divine status, I need to bring powerful figures with illustrious ancestry to my side. Wouldn’t that logic apply equally to elevating someone already my friend to legitimate heir status?
“Shirley.”
“Yes!”
“Would you like to continue your family line?”
“…Yes?”
Shirley tilted her head in a way that suggested she didn’t understand my words at all, bending it in a direction that seemed like it shouldn’t bend.

✦ ✦ ✦
“I don’t want to!”
“Why not?”
“I won’t do it!”
“Then explain to me why you refuse.”
“If I become the legitimate heir, you’ll kick me out of the Imperial Palace!”
So this blockhead had been worrying about that. She was clever enough, but her intelligence was purely academic—a real problem.
“If you become the legitimate heir, we’d be even better friends. Why would I kick you out of the Palace?”
“But if I inherit the Fiefdom, I’d have to go live in that countryside!”
Ah, right. I’d forgotten about that. Nobles who loved Capital life typically left their Fiefdoms in the hands of stewards while maintaining a Townhouse in the Capital, but if Shirley inherited the Count’s title, she’d need to return to her Fiefdom immediately to establish proper governance. Even if she hurried back, it would take at least five years to set everything in order.
“What if I give you only the title of legitimate heir while your brother keeps the actual authority?”
“If that were possible, why would they have kicked me out in the first place!”
“Fair point.”
“Pisha, you’re a stupid, foolish Princess!”
Shirley, clearly hurt, hurled the insult at me before scampering away. Feeling awkward, I glanced at Croa, and the Little One smiled mischievously before saying something that sounded like an insult.
“I like Pisha even if you’re a stupid, foolish Princess.”
“Isn’t that an insult?”
“No?”
“It sounds like an insult to me.”
“It means I like you that much?”
“I see…”
These children were already sharp-witted, and now that they were older, there was no way I could win against their words.

—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————