Black-Haired Dad Isn’t Something You Reap - Chapter 54

—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————

Chapter 54. Disappointed but not surprised (2)
“Princess and friends, assemble! Roll call beginning!”
“Vishnabel, one!”
“Richelieu, two!”
“Croa, three… but do we really have to strike a pose and call out our numbers like this?”
“Isn’t that how it’s normally done?”
“It is normally done, isn’t it?”
“Does Media not have such a culture?”
And honestly, it looks cool. When Prisoner, Shirley, and I—all raised in the Kisomalos Empire—gave Croa strange looks, the boy glanced up at the sky, then down at the ground, and let out a heavy sigh.
“I see. I’ll accept that, then.”
Smart thinking. Captives survive by adapting to their environment.
But today, Prisoner summoned us to a peculiar place. Father the Emperor often carved out time from his busy schedule to play with us, but calling us to such a desolate, empty space was a first.
The interior was vast, and it smelled faintly of chemicals—perhaps recently renovated. The floor was subtly cushioned, almost like a nursery playroom. But with no toys in sight, it clearly wasn’t one. What on earth was this place?
“I called you here today to introduce Pankration Teacher.”
“Huh? Has Aunt and Aelset already settled things?”
“No. They seem like they’ll be fighting for at least another three years.”
Then shouldn’t we be doing something about this? What happens if two of the Three Great Noble Families of the Empire turn on us?
As I trembled with fear, Prisoner confidently produced a contract and explained.
“Since the Princess’s education is urgent, I’ve obtained their agreement to temporarily delegate authority until their conflict ends.”
Prisoner really does love drafting contracts. Maybe I should prepare a bundle of contracts as a gift on the next Parents’ Day. Everyone likes beautiful things, so they’d probably appreciate beautifully designed contracts too.
“I introduce Lee, holder of a Pankration Grade 1 Teaching Certificate!”
“Hello, Your Highness the Princess! It’s been a while!”
Wait! Where have I heard that voice before? It’s oddly familiar. As I tilted my head in confusion, Pankration Teacher bowed gratefully, saying she was honored I remembered her.
“It’s me! The person who said political prisoners don’t get salt in their meals!”
“Oh! My prison friend!”
I requested a high-five to celebrate reuniting with my cellmate, and Lee Teacher knelt down and high-fived me.
“How did a martial arts instructor become a political prisoner?”
“I’m not exactly a political prisoner—I was locked up for a crime of lèse-majesté, you could say?”
“You dueled with someone from the Aelset Family, got shot, didn’t fall, kept charging, and beat them to death—that’s probably why you were arrested.”
“But surviving a gunshot is a skill in itself, so what can you do?”
“Exactly my point!”
As Lee Teacher laughed heartily, Prisoner laughed too, and I giggled along. Still, Aelset really does have considerable power. How can they throw someone in prison for a crime of lèse-majesté over a duel? If it’s a duel between nobles, death during combat should be mutually accepted as inevitable, right?
“What power could an ordinary provincial noblewoman like me possibly have?”
“A noblewoman with no power usually wouldn’t duel with Aelset in the first place, would she?”
“Well, that lunatic said if I won the duel, I’d marry him. That’s why I fought.”
“You killed him well.”
“He deserved to die.”
“Even someone from Media would easily agree with this situation.”
Right, this is a universal cultural value across the continent. This isn’t the stone age, and using duels to find a bride makes no sense.
“Then do your best, Pisha and Shirley.”
Croa, why are you backing up your wheelchair like that? All three of us answered roll call, so naturally we should all learn together, right? Shirley and I expressed our dissatisfaction and demanded we receive instruction as a group, but Croa just grinned and pointed to his own legs.
“I can’t even walk, so how am I supposed to learn combat sports?”
“Pankration includes ground techniques too.”
“We die together if we have to. Don’t be ridiculous.”
Shirley, you shouldn’t use such harsh language between friends. As I scolded her, Prisoner pulled another bulky object from his magical coat with a flourish. What on earth is the internal structure of that coat? Is it connected to another dimension?
“I prepared for this.”
What Prisoner presented with a flourish was a peculiarly shaped shoe. They were shoes, but they had four wheels attached to the bottom. Wouldn’t you just slide around in these? Would you fall over?
“If bicycles are permitted under the curse, then roller skates should be safe too.”
“Oh! Roller skates!”
“Ah, I see—skates with rolling, rolling wheels underneath, so roller skates!”
Wow, Prisoner was amazing. He was genuinely brilliant, skilled with his hands, and just all-around amazing.
We quickly moved to apply this new invention to Croa. We stripped off the boy’s shoes, fitted him with the skates, and tied the laces tight. Croa trembled like a newborn fawn and grabbed my hand, barely managing to pull himself upright.
“Balance—it’s hard to keep my balance. Pisha, don’t let go of my hand!”
“This is going to take some getting used to.”
“But once you get the hang of it, it would look pretty cool, wouldn’t it?”
That’s probably true. Gliding and moving fast would certainly look impressive. I want a pair too.
“Father Emperor! I want one of these too!”
“Oh, then me too! I want one as well, Father!”
“Go find the Chief Attendant Grandmother, and she’ll locate a shoe craftsman for you. This is just a prototype, so wear something more sturdily made when you play.”
“Yes!”
“Thank you, Father!”
“I am not your father.”
Prisoner lightly flicked Shirley’s forehead, said he was busy and had to leave, then turned around with a dramatic flourish of his coat.
“Good luck with state affairs!”
“Safe travels, Father!”
Shirley, you really don’t give up, do you? When Prisoner denies it that firmly, you should probably stop at some point. But the man was just as stubborn, so even as he tried to exit, he came back, pinched Shirley’s cheek, and left with the parting words that he was not her father.
“Then, Princess and friends! Today’s first lesson is!”
Since Croa wasn’t comfortable with the skates yet, would the teacher instruct us in ground techniques? I made a rough guess about the lesson content, but Pankration Teacher dismissed my assumption with an amused expression.
“We will be learning proper tooth brushing!”
The teacher pulled out a dental model and an oversized toothbrush from the teaching materials box. What does proper tooth brushing have to do with combat sports? I was bewildered, and Shirley, who was just as curious and couldn’t help herself, shot her hand up and asked why we were learning this.
“Because bite force is important in Pankration. Biting is permitted in this no-holds-barred combat sport!”
“Oh….”
“Oh….”
“Wow….”
“I was able to kill that man precisely because I bit through his carotid artery!”
“Oh, I didn’t ask about that….”
“That’s barbaric.”
“I don’t understand Kisomalos culture, no matter how much I try.”
Wait, are you speaking as if Media isn’t part of the Pankration cultural sphere? This is a combat sport that flourishes commonly across the Central Continent.
As Shirley and I discussed the history of Pankration, a grappling art, and the commonalities between Kisomalos and Media, Croa conceded defeat and made excuses that his long years of confinement had left him weak in cultural and historical knowledge.
Tsk, you always bring up that story about being confined in the Palace of Media whenever it’s disadvantageous for you.
“Are you brushing your gums well when you brush your teeth? The stronger your gums, the greater your bite force becomes!”
It seems the lecture focuses on the gums rather than plaque removal. Well, it can’t be helped—this is a toothbrushing class derived from combat sports, after all. If there are many bacteria in the mouth, it might even be recommended as a way to kill an opponent through infection when biting them.
“It’s also good to practice by chewing gum regularly. Everyone gets one piece of xylitol gum.”
Swish, swish. A class about chewing gum—I’d never heard of such a thing before. Perhaps it’s because Prisoner brought in this instructor, but in any case, she’s quite extraordinary.
We chewed gum while listening to Lee’s lecture. Since actual practice was dangerous, she said we could learn once we each grew another span taller, which greatly relieved me.

—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————