Black-Haired Dad Isn’t Something You Reap - Chapter 249
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 249. Why Pomegranate Seeds, of All Things? (2)
“Gasp! Laplace, you mean you created this with your own hands?! It didn’t just appear out of nothing with a snap?!”
“That’s correct.”
“You can just casually tell me something that important?!”
“I’ve never kept it a secret.”
I see. Never kept it a secret… Though I suspect it’s more like you created some sort of chatbot and never communicated with anyone about it, so nobody ever found out.
“In any case, stop worrying about plutonium. In exchange, I’ll give you the coordinates to the Underworld.”
So all I need is the coordinates to the Underworld to travel there? Was it inside the Solar System after all? I kept asking questions, but Laplace grumbled terribly and tried to hit me.
“Listen, I spent ten thousand years purifying that stuff and dealing with child abuse! And now you’re asking about radiation?!”
Genuinely wanting to strike me, Laplace moved Larima to slap me repeatedly. I exaggerated my pain, crying out that it hurt, that it hurt. Ah, so this must be how Emily feels when she gets beaten regularly.
“I’ll only explain this once, so listen carefully.”
“Wait, hold on!”
I raised my hand dramatically and called for a strategy break.
“Since I’m not very bright, could you call Shirley so I can listen with her help?”
As I desperately insisted that I was an idiot, Laplace fell silent for a moment, lost in thought, then spoke to me with a tender expression. I’d expected to be treated like a fool, but strangely, he seemed favorable toward me.
“You remind me of my daughter-in-law. Wait a moment.”
Absolute Deity’s daughter-in-law, thank you. You just saved about two people.
“Aaaah!”
Since Laplace was an absolute deity, he could apparently use other gods’ abilities too—Shirley, who wasn’t there a moment ago, suddenly appeared with a pop. Of course, this was just my guess based on having experienced warping multiple times before.
But this is a god who created the Mortal Realm and uses his powers freely. It took him ten thousand years to purify radiation? That substance must have been truly terrifying.
“Listen well. The Underworld is underground.”
“Ooh.”
Without even explaining the situation to Shirley, Laplace immediately stated the location—specifically, three thousand kilometers beneath the surface of the Mortal Realm—and gave me the coordinates. Then he said he’d accomplished his purpose and was leaving, but Shirley, who had been dazed from the sudden spatial displacement, suddenly snapped to attention and pushed her glasses up sharply.
“Wait a moment! I’m not entirely sure, but it seems you’re telling us the location of the Underworld. If a person just descends three thousand meters underground, the pressure and temperature will kill them instantly!”
“Tch.”
Oh right, how didn’t I think of that? I’m so glad I called Shirley! Without her, I would’ve just said “yes, yes” and gotten punched in the face!
“What’s the matter? I just gave you the location. Handle the rest yourself.”
“Since you’re already doing this, see it through to the end! Otherwise, I’ll break my promise and bring in massive amounts of plutonium and uranium!”
“No, if radiation contaminates things, it’s only the Mortal Realm that dies. This little one doesn’t understand other people’s circumstances!”
Whether out of frustration or not, Laplace borrowed Shirley’s hand to smack my head repeatedly.
“Aaaah! Pisha, I’m sorry!”
“Fine, fine! I’ll bring it! I’ll pay Bock with divine power and collect every last bit of plutonium from beyond the heavens!”
“This little one came back from the dead and now all she does is throw tantrums!”
If you know my personality, just pretend you can’t refuse and grant my request! I absolutely won’t compromise! I won’t make any deals until I get Father back!
As I threw an unreasonable tantrum and lay down on the ground, Laplace remarked that my behavior was identical to his eldest son’s tantrums and set a time appointment.
“Tomorrow at 1 PM, warp alone to the designated coordinates. Then I’ll send my grandson to greet you.”
“Eh? Your grandson? Didn’t you say Oberon was already destroyed?”
“That’s not the only grandson I have.”
This absolute deity certainly has quite a few descendants. Anyway, I got what I wanted, so I brushed off my skirt and stood up with a laugh. When I promised to keep the time appointment, Laplace spoke with a sly tone.
“Hmph. Whether you can actually bring him back once you go down there depends entirely on your own capabilities.”
“I’ll definitely bring Father back!”
“I’m not exactly rooting for you, you know?!”
No, listening to what you said, it seems Laplace is definitely on my side. I’ve been taking insults my whole life, so I have an uncanny knack for recognizing people who actually support me.
“What a pitiful wretch…”
“Hehe.”
Laplace said he had many calculations to attend to and would take his leave, then declared that everyone involved in this radioactive incident would be subjected to communication severance.
Ah… so Doctor Marichi’s unreachable status is probably due to the communication severance. What should I do? The deities currently involved are Kisomalos, Bock, Alset, and Edison… I’ll need to compensate their descendants in some way. Would establishing a trade agreement with the Bock family suffice?
“Gasp! I can’t feel Edison’s divine power anymore!”
“Alset, Alset’s signal is also fading!”
The moment Laplace departed, time flowed forward again. And it seemed the communication severance was executed immediately—Edison and Alset’s descendants were in an uproar. I explained what had just happened with Laplace and promised that Media, Achilles, and Grant would handle any urgent matters.
Kisomalos seems to be under communication severance too, so I’ll have no choice but to sell out my retainers’ ancestor deities.
“You’ve become quite shameless, Pisha.”
“Now that I’m sitting on the throne, I realize you can’t do this job without being shameless.”
I never knew this while I was only doing Princess duties. I thought shamelessness was just a trait of fathers, but it turns out the position shapes the person. Of course, Chiron probably had shamelessness as part of his core nature too.
Anyway, this sudden vacancy is a real problem. I’ll squeeze Nanakda for the warp stone, and after I leave for the Underworld at 1 PM, there’s no telling when I’ll return.
“Pisha, Pisha! I’ve written down everything Media said!”
Huh? Why would Media’s words be relayed to me? I expressed my confusion to Croa, who came rolling up on inline skates, and the man opened his notepad, saying that Kisomalos had left a message with Media before being dragged away by the communication severance.
“Gasp! How did Kisomalos manage to handle everything so smoothly?!”
“Media happened to be there at the time, so he insisted Kisomalos spill everything before being taken away!”
“That makes sense!”
I had a feeling this wasn’t something Kisomalos could’ve managed alone. We thoroughly belittled Kisomalos, offered a prayer of gratitude to Media, and then listened reverently to the message.
“First, this is a survival tip for returning from the Underworld that Kisomalos learned from Orpheus!”
“Alright! Tell me!”
I was completely ready to listen! I clenched my fists, bracing myself for whatever trials awaited, when Croa delivered his solemn words with utterly useless advice.
“When climbing the stairs, never look back under any circumstances.”
“Huh?”
That’s it? My enthusiasm was about to deflate when Croa shared the next tip.
“And there might be someone named Charon at the Acheron, so make sure to bring plenty of ferry fare.”
“Is the river really that wide? Can’t I just swim across?”
“If you fall into that river, you might lose all your memories.”
“I see.”
Then that won’t do. I’ll bring ferry fare. But can I use Mortal Realm currency there? Wouldn’t the Underworld have its own currency? As I worried about this, Larima and Edison offered their opinions.
“Wouldn’t it be better to prepare gold bars? Gold has value everywhere.”
“Should I prepare electrical divine essence for you, Sister? The Underworld would need energy sources for living there too.”
“Both of those are quite reasonable suggestions.”
I’d take both. I told Emily to pack gold bars and electrical divine essence in my travel bag, then waited for Croa’s next message.
“Besides the ferry fare? Is there anything else?”
“Um, and, you must listen well to the Master and Mistress of the Underworld, and, ah, don’t eat pomegranate seeds when you get there.”
“Pomegranate seeds?”
Why pomegranate? Is Underworld pomegranate a type of poison? More importantly, can pomegranate trees even survive three thousand kilometers underground? Those pomegranate trees living down there must be quite remarkable.
“If you eat pomegranate seeds there, you can’t return to the mortal world, right?”
“Gasp!”
“And this advice came from Netcha, not Orpheus—he said that when you go to the Underworld, you should avoid eating Underworld food as much as possible. Apparently, there’s a tradition even among the Southern Region deities that if you eat Underworld food, you can’t come back.”
“A packed lunch! Pack a lunch, Emily!”
Ah, but don’t tell me the menu. There’s something special about that anticipation you feel right before opening it at your destination. I cheerfully began planning our little excursion and called Nanakda to beg him to supply me with a warp stone since I’d need to visit the Underworld.
Nanakda confirmed multiple times that he was only providing this once because I needed to rescue Father, then said he’d contact the manufacturer to obtain just a single stone. Hmph, go ahead and make all the calls you want. Did you think you were the only one who could install listening devices? I had Shirley plant them all over the Golden Temple.
I quickly handled all my urgent matters, then issued a decree entrusting all my authority to King of Media Croa and Sheryl Achilles while I was away in the Underworld and until my return.
“Hmm….”
Since I was delegating my authority anyway, I should package this nicely and publicize it throughout Media. That way, the rumors about Croa being a puppet king of Kisomalos might die down a bit.
I chuckled to myself, finished all my duties, then packed my travel bags with Croa and Shirley. Once the preparations were complete, it was already late into the night, so the three of us lay down together and slept side by side for the first time in a while.
That night, I slept so soundly without a single dream. It seemed most deities were experiencing a communication blackout.
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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