Black-Haired Dad Isn’t Something You Reap - Chapter 244
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 244. Procrastination is One of the Best Coping Strategies (4)
As I laid out this prediction, Grant marveled at it while Kisomalos shrugged his shoulders.
“Your descendant is remarkably intelligent in fits and starts!”
“When I do something, I do it well. My descendants are no different.”
Kisomalos always wraps up any topic with self-praise. How starved for compliments must he have been to end up like this? I pitied the golden sheep and gently shook Nanakda awake. Come on, now wasn’t the time to be passed out. You said you’d cooperate with anything to revive Father.
“Nanakda, Nanakda, wake up.”
“Ugh….”
Nanakda rose with his head in his hands, saying it felt like his skull would split, and asked me what had just happened. So temporary amnesia from trauma really was possible.
“Nothing happened.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
But listen to what I have to say. I’ve made a brilliant deduction.
I insisted to Nanakda that Laplace must be 100 percent involved in this matter. The man then squinted his eyes and grumbled that he was letting me get away with it because he loved me, then brought up something that had happened before.
“It seems like Kirke hasn’t been able to meet Laplace directly either. If we call, do you think they’ll really meet us?”
“Hmm….”
That’s true. Kirke said she used something like a chatbot when communicating with Laplace, right? Like leaving a voicemail when we use the phone, should we first leave a message through this chatbot thing?
“Then first, I need to pass word to Kirke through my Aunt.”
“On my end, I’ll search for any legends or records about Laplace.”
Our Nanakda really is useful in many ways, being the information control fanatic that he is. I thanked him and told him I’d see him again soon since we’d be having a meeting. Nanakda was about to leave when he tapped my shoulder and gave me some encouragement.
“You have to succeed.”
“…Yeah!”
This must be him drawing a parallel between Hisperon’s situation and my Father’s death incident, right? Hisperon’s death has become irreversible, but I was fortunate enough to barely grasp an opportunity to revive him. I answered cheerfully, meaning I wouldn’t give up until the very end, and the man waved his hand, saying he’d see me at the meeting.
✦ ✦ ✦
The meeting on reviving Father had become increasingly detailed and concrete after meeting Nanakda and gaining enlightenment. It was a gathering premised on the existence of the Underworld, where we discussed how to drag Father out of that place by any means necessary. In the conference hall named for this very purpose, I summoned the relevant parties and first proceeded with a vote.
“All in favor of the plan to coax Laplace by offering him something beneficial to his interests, raise your hands.”
Since the Absolute Deity Laplace couldn’t be met through ordinary means, I could devise two major approaches. First, there was the method of gently coaxing him with gifts. Madam Listo and Croa, the King of Media, supported this approach.
“Next, those in favor of blackmailing Laplace.”
Every human except Grandmother Listo and Croa raised their hands. Honestly, my heart leaned toward this option too. If I simply said I’d give someone a gift and asked them to come to the Imperial Palace, they could procrastinate indefinitely. But if I threatened to blow up their house if they didn’t show up within an hour, they’d come running within sixty minutes.
“Why are all of you resorting to such extreme measures?”
“But he’s an Absolute Deity. Wouldn’t it be dangerous to offend him?”
Croa had a point. The other party was the Creator Deity who had created the Mortal Realm itself. I didn’t think a mere human speck like me threatening him would make him go “Oh my, how terrifying.” Rather, he’d probably punish me for my audacity.
“Hmm, but even so, I can’t think of a gift that Laplace would enjoy.”
“And there’s no way to blackmail him either.”
“Actually, that’s not quite true.”
At my words, everyone in the conference hall stared at me with wide eyes. Oh no, I was just thinking simply about it, and now they’re expecting so much—this is burdensome.
“Do you have some method in mind?”
“She’s genuinely a genius at finding people’s weaknesses.”
As Nanakda clicked his tongue and criticized me, Shirley and Croa nodded with expressions of pride. Wait, why do they both look so pleased when he’s insulting me?
“Well, what Laplace likes is a mystery, but what he dislikes should be certain, right? He must have excluded it when creating the Mortal Realm.”
“Ooh.”
“That’s an interesting approach.”
Discovering what doesn’t exist in the Mortal Realm is itself a difficult task. We couldn’t even guess that the Underworld existed because the ancestor deities didn’t tell us due to spoiler restrictions.
“While humans in the Mortal Realm might not come up with this idea, couldn’t the deities in the Divine Realm find some clue?”
I was pleading with Kirke to make some inquiries in the Divine Realm when a name suddenly came to mind, and I spoke it aloud.
“Oh, Oberon, who is said to be Laplace’s granddaughter. Wouldn’t she know what Laplace dislikes?”
“She established the Four Great Rules and was immediately destroyed, so there’s no way to find her in the Divine Realm….”
That’s quite different from Maitreya, who has spent ten thousand years as a lonely hermit. We discussed a bit more, but it seemed we wouldn’t find an answer today, so we decided to procrastinate and put off the decision until our next meeting, choosing to have fun instead.
When someone is depressed, they shouldn’t just work every day or mope around. When it’s time to enjoy yourself, you should enjoy yourself. I gathered the members of the Father Revival Countermeasure Committee and prepared a lavish meal, then immediately threw a drinking party.
Drinking calls for song and dance, so through Croa’s connections, we invited a rock and roll band. We partied loudly all night with the lights on, earning the resentment of the citizens and Imperial Palace staff.
The elderly officials at the Imperial Palace morning assembly complained endlessly, saying they never thought they’d see this kind of spectacle again in their lifetime—how long had it been since we changed from Chiron to Kisomalos? My head was pounding from the hangover.
“Ugh, my head.”
“I told you to drink less.”
“But once I start, I can’t control myself!”
I didn’t know I was someone who loved alcohol this much! Well, of course, I’ve never met a Kisomalos person who disliked alcohol, so genetically speaking, I was likely predisposed to it. Still, I never expected to be the type who can’t stop once I open a bottle.
“Be careful. I heard that Helbatro person also went down due to addiction.”
“I’m not at that level.”
I won’t touch drugs. Absolutely not. Not after what I’ve seen. I gulped down the hangover cure my office secretary had prepared while making an unconvincing argument. Choco was giving me a pointed look, asking if what she was taking now wasn’t medicine either… No, that medicine and this medicine are completely different! That’s a psychoactive drug! What I’m taking is a non-addictive medicament! Honestly, is this even a medicament? A quasi-drug? A health supplement?
“Your Majesty, Tarquinus has come to visit.”
“Again?”
Marshmallow has been coming too frequently lately, hasn’t he? How long has it been since he came last time complaining about the compulsory education issue? Did a day pass? Did he come two days in a row?
“Shall I turn him away?”
“No. Let him in.”
Choco tried to step forward, but I told her it was fine and allowed Marshmallow to enter. The Marshmallow who walked into the Emperor’s Office had a completely different expression than yesterday… Wait, he was so full of swagger yesterday, but today he came in looking absolutely terrified? I don’t think I need to worry about this.
“What’s going on two days in a row? Is my head aching today?”
“There’s nothing to brag about having a headache from drinking…”
“Quiet!”
Even when he’s scared, he still says whatever he wants. Well, that’s probably why he was locked up in the Political Detention Center when we first met. This pale-faced Marshmallow has quite a bit of nerve, doesn’t he?
“So. What’s your business?”
“That is…”
Marshmallow returned to his troubled expression and brought up Leon without properly straightening his shoulders.
“It’s been more than three years since I took on the education of Leonhardt, hasn’t it?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
Leon showed more of Doctor Marichi’s tendencies than Achilles, so I had him start his education earlier than when I studied under Marshmallow. Three years of studying means he’s made progress equivalent to three years after Shirley received proper education, right? So he should be learning geometry by now? These days geometry is subdivided too—they call it topology and spatial geometry separately, I hear?
The geometry I learned when I was six was plane geometry, the most basic of basic geometry.
“It’s just that now I have nothing left to teach Leon…”
“…”
“Would it be possible to send him to university…?”
I feel like I’ve heard this before. Didn’t Shirley get sent to university around age ten when Marshmallow said he couldn’t teach her anymore?
“No, Leon just barely turned eight! What university are you talking about!”
“But! He’s already reading books like ‘Introduction to Knot Theory’!”
“What even is that?!”
What is knot theory? Why has Kisomalos mathematics developed so much without my knowing? Is it because of Doctor Marichi and Shirley? It must be those two causing this, right?
“He keeps searching for materials that don’t exist in the world! Asking difficult questions! I’m dying from the stress!”
“No, but still, how can I send an eight-year-old child to university!”
If he were a commoner, he’d be at the age to graduate from kindergarten now. We need to somehow hold out with homeschooling until he’s ten—the talented students at Kisomalos University will feel deprived again!
When Shirley entered the university and went through the escalator course all the way to doctoral studies, the annual number of dropouts from Kisomalos University exceeded a hundred. With barely three hundred new students per year, it was a record. Once it gets out that your family has been geniuses for generations, everyone just gives up, saying academics are genetic!
“By the way, materials that don’t exist in the world?”
Isn’t that what Shirley used to talk about all the time?
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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