A Blank Slate Regression for the Idol That Lost His Original Mindset - Chapter 242

—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————

Regression Manual for an Idol Who Lost Their Original Intentions Chapter 242

[⚠WARNING!⚠]

[⚠WARNING!⚠]

In the past, it would only display all sorts of warning windows after I put it in my mouth, but now a warning window popped up as soon as I shook out a single sleeping pill onto my palm.

Let me just get some sleep.

Damn it, it’s not like I’m going to dump this entire bottle down my throat – I just want to take one pill and sleep.

[The system cannot be held responsible for side effects upon consumption.]

I was half-doubtful, wondering if I’d vomit again like that time, but judging that even those side effects would be dangerous in my current physical condition, I obediently put the sleeping pill back into the bottle.

‘What the hell is so special about sleeping pills that it’s throwing up warning windows and making such a fuss?’

Of course, I know well that depending on medication is a shortcut to harming one’s health, but aren’t you considering that my health is deteriorating because my body rhythm is being destroyed by insomnia?

Since taking sleeping pills was out of the question, I trudged back to the room and asked Kim Dobin, who was intently looking at something on his cell phone.

“Hey, Doby. Don’t you have any videos that help you fall asleep or something?”

“This one’s totally effective. Past life experience.”

Following Kim Dobin’s recommendation, I searched for past life experience on YouTube. With a glimmer of hope, I tapped on the video with the highest view count.

Along with dreamy background music, the gentle voice of a middle-aged man flowed through my earphones into my ears.

[Now you slowly enter the narrow cave.]

As I blankly imagined following the voice’s instructions, I had already passed through the field and reached the cave.

[You see light at the end of the cave and emerge from the cave. What do you see?]

I don’t see anything.

Still, it seemed to help with sleep as my mind gradually became hazy.

-See, I told you I’m someone who’s wrong to change.

My self-deprecating voice came through as faintly as my consciousness that was beginning to fade.

-Let’s give up. You and I are both tired now. I guess this is the ending that was arranged for me.

Do voices sound the same whether in past lives or present life? I thought while listening to the voice that sounded quite exhausted.

-Seeing those guys’ faces again when they looked perfectly happy with just the four of them is also torture. I know, I know I’m partly at fault too, but I can’t help feeling resentful.

For a moment, I thought I saw a familiar blue status window.

I wondered if I had seen it wrong, but the sleep I was encountering after so long was too sweet, so I helplessly fell into slumber.

The next day, I greeted the morning with a refreshed mind for the first time in a while.

“It was really effective.”

“Right? Hyung, did you see anything? I always retire at the field, so I’ve never succeeded even once. Ah, I’m really curious about my past life.”

Since I hadn’t really seen anything either, I shook my head.

Still, since having a clear mind was truly rare, I seized the momentum and rushed to the studio as soon as my schedule ended.

‘Wasn’t sleep the problem…?’

Facing the state where I still couldn’t do anything, I felt my energy drain away.

Indeed, to overcome a slump, I need to know the cause.

In my opinion, the cause was clear. My failure, and the harsh criticism of my music.

I had to overcome that, but the problem was not knowing how to overcome it.

Against the wall of reality I was facing for the first time, even my pre-regression knowledge and experience were useless.

Today too, I stared blankly at the monitor and returned to the dormitory late in the evening.

I played that sleep video from yesterday and closed my eyes tightly, but text from a status window appeared before my closed vision.

[Hypnosis Block is activated.]

…Hypnosis? It was hypnosis? No wonder it kept repeating the same things.

No, do I now need to borrow the power of hypnosis just to fall asleep?

The past life experience with hypnosis blocked was nothing more than narration that interfered with sleep.

In the end, I lost the only means to end my insomnia and pulled another all-nighter.

If I didn’t want to become someone who gets hospitalized for lack of sleep, now there really was no answer other than escaping this slump.

* * *

[Notice] Mini 4th Album [Attention] Activity Period Shortening Notice

…This decision was made for the artist’s health, so we ask for fans’ understanding…

-What?? Activity period shortened???

-Is Eden sick?ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

-All you guys who fell for the trolling and gleefully attacked Eden while muddying the waters with early hate comments, reflect on yourselves. How stressed must he have been for such a healthy kid to get sick enough to shorten activities?

-Eden, don’t look at the harsh words, only look at the pretty ones♥

-Rest well and let’s see you again when you’re healthy. You’re always our priority

-The song was really good though…

-Are those who were whining satisfied now?

In the end, the activities that were scheduled for 3 weeks were shortened to 2 weeks because of my condition.

It was around that time that I received a call from G1.

“Slump? You seem to be making beats just fine though?”

“Right now I’m just recycling beats I made in the past.”

At my answer, Jiwon hyung made a troubled face and headed to the smoking room that was set up in one corner of the spacious studio.

I followed Jiwon hyung into the smoking room. When I plopped down next to him, Jiwon hyung looked flustered and waved his hands frantically to clear away the cigarette smoke.

“Hey, why are you coming in when you don’t even smoke?”

“Hyung, can I have just one cigarette?”

At my sudden request, Jiwon hyung stared at me intently.

I thought he would refuse while trying to dissuade me or scold me, but surprisingly, Jiwon hyung readily offered me a cigarette without saying anything.

As I naturally put the filter part in my mouth, Jiwon hyung, who had been staring at me, asked.

“Do you smoke?”

“No?”

Since I just kept it in my mouth, Jiwon hyung stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray and asked again.

“Aren’t you going to ask for a light?”

“I don’t really intend to actually smoke it.”

I remembered well how hellish those days of enduring to quit smoking were, so even though I wanted to set the mood, I didn’t really intend to smoke.

“Damn, I was going to give you a really cool lecture if you asked for a light.”

Jiwon hyung grumbled while ruffling the back of his head.

“So, you’re in a slump?”

“It’s the first time my head has become a blank sheet like this.”

“Didn’t you say you had a brief slump before?”

“The level now is different from that…”

I chewed on the filter and trailed off.

“I’ve never failed before now.”

The “before now” I was referring to was the time spanning both before and after regression. Because I hadn’t failed during that long time, I was confident.

I just didn’t know that confidence would be shattered so early.

“What’s your standard for judging failure?”

“The public’s evaluation.”

At my answer, Jiwon hyung took out a cigarette from his pack and put it in his mouth, but unlike me, he didn’t light it and just bit the filter end while muttering in a muffled voice.

“The public’s evaluation…”

Jiwon hyung chuckled and flicked the cigarette he was biting into the ashtray.

“Having confidence is good. But are you certain there will never be any failures, that your music will always appeal to the public?”

Sharp eyes behind yellow colored glasses stared at me.

“That’s not confidence, that’s arrogance.”

Jiwon hyung threw his cell phone at me and wiggled his finger.

“Search my name and look through the songs. See if they’re all successful tracks.”

Since G1 was called a hit song maker and the formula for idol success, there were quite a few songs with titles I recognized.

But there were also songs I’d never seen before scattered throughout.

“Aren’t these B-side tracks?”

At my question, Jiwon hyung stretched his neck to scan the titles and smacked me while grumbling.

“They’re title tracks, you fool.”

As I scratched my head, Jiwon hyung shrugged his shoulders.

“See? Even monkeys fall from trees sometimes. Are you going to keep whining about being in a slump every time your performance doesn’t measure up?”

Jiwon hyung’s hand lightly patted my back encouragingly.

“Even if the performance isn’t good, a masterpiece is still a masterpiece. You know how many good songs are buried in this world. Don’t be too obsessed with performance and evaluation. It’s enough if you’re satisfied.”

No, I had no choice but to be obsessed with those things.

After all, performance and evaluation were the indicators and results I could confidently present to the agency that turned away from my songs, to the people who wanted me to fail.

My self-satisfaction was only complete when the songs I was satisfied with achieved the best performance and favorable reviews.

Music was life itself to me, but it was also a kind of proof to show that I, who had repeated failures, was useful.

But now, did I really need to desperately prove myself like that?

I said I wanted to make real music, but wasn’t I still bound by the shackles of the past?

<Ride or Die> was a song I was satisfied with while working on it, but becoming disappointed in the song itself because of a few harsh reviews I saw on the internet and because of its performance – wasn’t that problematic?

“For people like us, of course music puts food on the table. But music isn’t everything in life. Even if you can’t compose, you’re still Rev’s rapper and leader. You still have ways to make a living. You can just buy songs.”

His clear voice pointed out something I had never thought of.

“Don’t rely too much on just one thing. If you do that and that one thing collapses, you’ll go down with it.”

Jiwon hyung’s hand roughly ruffled my hair. I just nodded obediently at his piercing advice.

And that night at the dormitory.

Somehow, after opening up to Jiwon hyung, my heart felt much lighter, but the insomnia was still ongoing, and desperately wanting to sleep, I decided to fuck the side effects and take a sleeping pill.

“Damn, where did I put it?”

I rummaged through the shelf looking for the sleeping pill bottle and finally found it.

When I turned toward the refrigerator to get some bottled water, I came face to face with Kim Dobin, who was standing right in front of the refrigerator.

“Hyung, right now in your hand, hand, that thing in your hand…”

Kim Dobin stammered as he shone his phone’s flashlight on me, or more precisely, on the sleeping pill bottle I was holding.

Since I couldn’t see straight due to the endless insomnia, I glared at Kim Dobin with sunken eyes and spoke curtly.

“What. I’m going to take sleeping pills, what’s it to you.”

Kim Dobin blinked rapidly. The discord instigation penalty points didn’t appear, but thinking I might have spoken too harshly, just as I was about to apologize.

“Aaaaah! It’s the return of Demon Eden!”

At Kim Dobin’s booming scream, the room doors burst open and all the members except Seo Yehyeon came running into the kitchen.

Well, Seo Yehyeon isn’t the type to wake up from this level of commotion.

My awkward figure holding the sleeping pill bottle was clearly revealed under the kitchen light that Ryu Jaehee turned on without hesitation.

“Sleeping pills?”

“Eden hyung… sleeping pills…?”

It was a perfect catch in the act that I couldn’t deny.

—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————