Your Majesty, Dinner Is Ready. - Chapter 160

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Episode 160: Shall We Go Pick Them Up Soon?
Artein.
The chief deity of the righteous divine faction, protector of all the innocent and weak.
The one who safeguards all people possessed, without question, the largest number of faithful among all divine beings.
Even if one combined all the followers of the next most popular deities—Talendros, Meterd, and Teramea—they could not match Artein’s numbers alone.
“As expected, I have placed my faith only in Artein.”
I could not help but be moved.
A Secret Art bestowed upon a magical beast—neither mortal nor believer.
A generous gift befitting a deity of such wealth.
“Rachel.”
When a great patron extended such support, one could hardly stand idle.
I hastily sought the aid of Seraphina, who possessed a talent for managing all manner of tasks.
“Would you be able to sing a hymn imbued with reverence for Artein, a song that swells the heart with admiration?”
“Of course I can!”
Rachel sprang to her feet, pressed her hands together respectfully, and began to sing a hymn of the Harmony Cult.
“Aah, most noble Artein—! Aah, beautiful Artein!”
The hymn “Beautiful Artein.”
Lyrics by Saint Peris.
Composition also by Saint Peris.
Whiiiish—!
As Rachel’s voice continued, the Artein of this age hastily transmitted his will.
‘Please! Anything but that hymn!’
Why would someone shy away when the musicality was so excellent?
Had a music chart existed in this world, despite the genre limitations of sacred music, this hymn would have held the top spot for months.
I did not understand his reluctance, but as a Socialite who obeys the wishes of divinity well, I promptly had Rachel cease her singing.
“Artein, in return I pledge to exert myself in ending the sectarian conflicts of the Harmony Cult.”
This time, both versions of Artein transmitted their will simultaneously.
‘I did not ask for such a thing, but I would be pleased if you did!’
‘Are there sectarian conflicts? I have grown too soft in this age!’
I rested my hand upon the tattoo on my chest and nodded repeatedly, then turned my gaze to Acar.
Seraphina, now of the Fifth Tier, displayed the text with greater speed than before.
《Spirit Beast – Frost Manifestation Acar》
《How fortunate the righteous deities are. To have such abundance as to squander faith on mere magical beasts.》
“Congratulations on becoming a spirit beast.”
“Whoa—, I’m a spirit beast now.”
“Which Secret Art did Artein bestow upon you?”
“The Fourth Tier Secret Art: Shining Fate.”
A Secret Art that protects its holder from misfortune.
It could not prevent calamity entirely, but one could evade much bad luck, making its performance quite excellent.
“Since it is a universal Secret Art with no class restrictions, the effect will apply without issue. Moreover, as a Fourth Tier Secret Art, Merlin may borrow it freely as well—a double benefit.”
A choice befitting a deity of clear wisdom.
Even in the days when Ridni bore the title “the Wise One,” she possessed intellectual capability of this caliber.
I waved my hand before Merlin’s eyes, which had grown unfocused from the sudden turn of events.
“Merlin, register Acar as your Ice-Ice Companion. You’ll understand the method naturally once you obtain it, yes?”
Building sufficient rapport and affection was needed.
Just as I had with Aequiril, closeness was required.
“Spend two hours each day in conversation with Acar to deepen your bond.”
At my words, Acar waved her hand back and forth with a pleased expression.
Merlin stared at a face identical to my own for a moment, then wrinkled her nose.
“Kar, everything’s fine, but could you maybe change the appearance somehow?”
“I was already planning to do that.”
It would certainly be difficult to befriend a magical beast who differed from my patron only in the substance of her body and was otherwise identical in all respects.
Since Acar possessed the Transformation ability anyway, I intended to proceed with appearance customization.
“Acar, I intend to offer you a special choice.”
“Oh! So you present options as if giving freedom of choice, but the reality is to maneuver the other into selecting your desired option—is that the strategy? The greatest advantage of this method is that you can psychologically corner them by saying, ‘You chose this yourself.'”
“My goodness, you regard me as though I were some cunning schemer who manipulates psychology like a shadowy Black Sword Guild Master?”
《I find myself newly grateful that a being of such intellect exists only once upon this earth….》
“I have given careful thought to three options—please choose one.”
I held up three fingers.
“First: a charming five-year-old Kar. You would need to play an affectionate and spirited character.”
“…I really don’t like that.”
Merlin cast her vote against it with visible distaste.
“Second, there’s Kar—sturdy and dependable, with an impressive physique. He absolutely must be portrayed as bold and magnanimous. So extravagantly daring that he doesn’t even bother roasting meat, just tears into it raw, and crushes magical beasts with his bare hands.”
“Hmm, surely my charm doesn’t lie in delicacy, does it?”
Acar shook his head.
“That leaves only one option, then.”
I waved my hand with only my index finger raised, laying out the third choice.
“…Sigh.”
– Groan.
Merlin and Aequiril both let out small sighs.
But since the fair vote had adopted “Let Kar Decide,” we had no choice but to ignore the dissenting opinions.
“I’ll be back in just a moment.”
Acar descended to the basement and returned after some time had passed.
He had completely transformed his body of ice and eyes using Transformation.
“…I apologize for keeping you waiting.”
An elegant pure white vestment draped his form.
Golden hair cascaded down to his waist.
There was a composed dignity in his speech and bearing.
A version of Kar who bore an air reminiscent of Saint Seraphina herself offered a gentle smile.
“Greetings once more. Hello? I’m Kar—a version of myself from an alternate world where I fell into the past due to some spacetime fracture and became a priest under Saint Seraphina. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
“…….”
Merlin glanced back and forth between me and Acar for a moment before speaking.
“I really hate this.”
It seemed it would take considerable time for Acar and Merlin to become Ice-Ice Companions.
***
After entrusting Acar to Merlin against her will.
“Ahhh….”
I was being conquered by Pendrick’s unrelenting hands.
“Let me do one more round.”
“Haa, ah, wait just a….”
“Here we go!”
Pendrick laughed brightly and began unfolding his bewitching finger work once more.
Crack-crack-crack!
The sound alone brought relief to the soul.
Pendrick pressed his inner energy-wrapped hands firmly into my back, administering an invigorating massage.
“How is it? This is a massage technique I learned during my time living on the Eastern Continent!”
“It’s the best… ahhh.”
A body bound by chain rust grows duller and more broken with each passing day.
That’s why it was occasionally necessary to release the tension.
“Commander, do you by any chance know a druid named Mirel?”
“Ah, yes… of course I do.”
“She was a friend of mine from my Eastern Continent days, and that’s where I learned this massage technique! It’s called the Bear Crush Massage! It’s a martial Secret Art, but I’ve only learned the basics so I haven’t mastered it completely.”
A massage fierce enough to crush even bears was now kneading the tender back of a Half-Elf….
“There’s a lot of tension here too!”
“P-please, a bit gentler….”
– Even if your belly gets pierced or you’re poisoned, you just keep laughing—why are you being so dramatic about a massage?
Astrímia, propped against the wall beside the massage table, released a wry laugh.
I stifled the escaping moans and replied from my prone position.
“This is therapeutic massage, good for the body. It’s healthful pain—it doesn’t qualify as hardship or trial.”
– You have quite a firm standard for these things, don’t you?
“No matter how painful, I simply cannot enjoy such things….”
My shameful weakness.
It seemed trivial, but if some enemy or old foe learned of it, I could face a desperate crisis.
“So you’re actually vulnerable when something doesn’t cause you pain?”
“Yes… hnng!”
– That’s somehow reassuring.
“Wh-what… did you say…?”
– It’s comforting to know that you have ordinary human qualities too, Commander. Until now you felt like someone from another world entirely, but now I feel like you’re someone from our same world.
“…….”
The insight struck me with unwelcome accuracy.
Of course, that wasn’t what I meant by it.
Thud!
A finishing blow came without warning.
“Ugh, ah….”
I collapsed in a heap.
Socialite Kar, sleeping here.
“Captain, we’ve only finished the first stage.”
“…How much longer is there?”
“There are ten stages in total.”
“Please, just kill me instead….”
Ha-ha!
Astrímia’s laughter rang out bright as starlight.
“…You’re too loud.”
Odillon, who was receiving exercise training from Charlotte on the mat nearby, clicked his tongue.
Long hair pulled tightly back and lightweight workout clothes.
Despite his frail appearance, the young master maintained his health with rigorous daily discipline.
“Socialite Kar, Inspector Pendrick. This is my stamina training chamber. Keep it down.”
In fact, to overcome his natural weakness, Odillon had spared no expense on exercise equipment and built this dedicated training room.
Yet because he suffered from frequent bouts of illness, it was usually Pendrick or Bartimir who made better use of it.
“Young Master, let’s begin again.”
When sober, Charlotte had a crisp, no-nonsense demeanor, and she spoke to Odillon with that same sharp efficiency.
“Now, try this position….”
Charlotte then contorted her body into a form so twisted it was hard to tell how she’d bent at all.
Setalef.
An exercise that tormented the body roughly twenty times worse than Pilates.
It was so systematic and effective that it had been recognized by the world’s laws as a martial secret art.
“…Huff.”
The slender young master, twisting his body diligently, collapsed as if unconscious after barely five seconds.
“I think we should call it a day. Thank you for your effort.”
Charlotte fed the young master an Energy Recovery Potion and then excused herself.
Thump-thump-thump!
I continued receiving the massage while speaking to Odillon.
“Young Master.”
“…What is it?”
“Has there been any contact from the main house since we successfully cleared the Southern Continent Expedition?”
“Yes.”
The frail young master, sprawled across the mat, barely managed to open his mouth.
“Our elder sister threw quite the fit, I’m told.”
Originally, the Southern Continent Expedition was a dungeon that Flora’s expedition had been preparing to explore.
After months of thorough preparation, we snatched the honor of the first clear right out from under them.
“…Well done, Socialite Kar.”
A genuine smile of joy from the young master—something truly rare to witness.
“We’ve achieved our initial objective of claiming the Southern Continent Expedition. The problem is that our furious elder sister might now begin scheming in earnest.”
“That would be… Hagh!”
“Just a bit longer, Captain.”
Pendrick finished the massage after only the third stage.
I managed to sit up and pull on my clothes before speaking again.
“I don’t think we need to worry about Flora’s schemes.”
“…True enough. While she’s blinded by rage, our eldest brother will deploy the meticulous plans he’s been preparing all this time to bring her to heel.”
“Exactly.”
Odillon and our expedition are still nothing but budding sprouts in the eyes of our eldest brother Nicholas and eldest sister Flora.
They’ll continue to see their rivalry with each other as far more pressing.
“In the meantime, we simply need to grow stronger.”
By clearing the Southern Continent Expedition, our Moon Expedition Party has earned considerable renown.
According to intelligence gathered by the Shadow Agents, there’s no shortage of speculation that the Eyebeam Bear Love Guild might not have led the exploration after all.
Yet we’ve also earned substantial public opinion regarding our capabilities.
“I heard there are already explorers asking to join the expedition?”
“There are. But we turned them all down. They were all worthless.”
“Well done.”
Capable companions were never easy to come by.
“Now is the time to put this newfound reputation to proper use.”
I gestured with my thumb toward Pendrick, who rested nearby.
“It’s time we started recruiting. I mean explorers on Pendrick’s level.”

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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