Your Majesty, Dinner Is Ready. - Chapter 14

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 14: Bickering and Bickering
The Half-Elf was a race that had inherited only the weaknesses of both Elves and Humans.
Humans.
A race with meager physical abilities, but possessing the potential to select any Class.
Elves.
A race that lags in Class diversity, yet is born inherently bearing Divine Ability.
And the Half-Elf was a hopeless hybrid—poor physical prowess and no freedom in choosing a Class either.
But as the proverb our ancestors left behind showed—”Even a loach has its own way of wriggling”—it was certain that even the inadequate possessed at least one thing to take pride in.
【Ah, what a pleasure for the eyes after so long! Pretty thing, are you a Half-Elf?】
“Yes, that is correct.”
【Of course. You wretched halflings are pitiful in every respect, but your beauty is as precious as treasure. Be grateful. You’ve already captured my heart entirely!】
The Half-Elf’s singular advantage: the towering “Charm” stat.
In the Dungeon it often proved a liability, but at least when becoming an Apostate of Suejeʹ, it became an enormous asset.
【Pretty thing, lift your chin just a touch higher.】
I obeyed dutifully.
【Hmm…? Just once—smile for me just once more?】
“I would prefer not.”
【What was that?】
“Not merely once, but twice, thrice—as many times as you wish, I shall smile for you.”
I radiated a smile that seemed natural, honed through my dealings with the demonic Chief Choi.
A strange, hollow laughter—”Hehehehe”—echoed faintly from some distant place.
【You speak as prettily as you look. What is your name?】
“I am Kar.”
【Kar. Would you consider becoming my Apostle?】
An Apostle, in the hierarchy of the Luminous Sect, ranked equivalent to a Cardinal—just below the Pope.
Upon acceptance, I would become an Apostle at once, but in exchange, I would acquire the Status Abnormality known as “Fanatic,” compelling me to pursue the religious life that Suejeʹ craved with blind devotion.
I knew from experience—it was not a pleasant thing at all.
《The shameless display! Should you become Suejeʹ’s Apostle, Ridni would be most deeply displeased!》
The faith rising from the mortal realm was insufficient, leaving him powerless even to curse; his threat was beneath contempt.
I shook my head and declined politely.
“My capacity is still far too limited to assume so grand a position as Apostle.”
【There is truth in that.】
“I shall climb step by step from the rank of Believer. Even if I begin from the bottom, surely my faith—already so firmly established—cannot be shaken.”
【How admirable!】
《:-( 》
Ridni and the Eye That Pierces Truth remained anxious that I might cast my faith aside.
A needless worry.
My soul and heart worship but one Evil God alone, and that is Ridni—forever and always.
Yet that did not mean I rejected the other Evil Gods.
Having a favorite member of a group did not mean one disliked the others in that same group, did it?
【But pretty thing, you already serve a twisted old codger—are you certain this is acceptable?】
Suddenly, concern colored Suejeʹ’s words.
【Should one attempt to serve multiple Evil Gods at once, madness is inevitable. Well, perhaps that would be mercy—far more often, the mind simply melts away. I wish to possess you, but not to claim your life.】
For a deity bearing the name Evil God, it revealed an unexpectedly tender heart.
The kindness born from fear: fear that with insufficient worshippers, the faith directed toward him from the mortal realm might vanish entirely should he prove too difficult.
It was a starkly different attitude from a certain deity who was forever saying “It was not thus in the old days.”
“I assure you, I am untroubled.”
I smiled—what I deemed a pleasing smile—and continued.
“My mind is not so feeble as to fracture beneath the undeserved honor of worshipping multiple Evil Gods simultaneously.”
【Is that so?】
Suejeʹ’s presence brushed briefly through my mind, then withdrew.
【Interesting. There will be no problem, it seems. How shall I put it… less a matter of firmness than of already being melted and then hardened so rigidly that nothing could alter it further.】
I nodded silently.
‘Just as I suspected—those traits did apply.’
Before I ever opened my eyes in this world, I had been writing a strategy guide.
A comprehensive compendium of all the wisdom accumulated across my experience.
Had I only registered it, I was certain it would have overturned the users’ perception of Apostates as disposable waste beyond all recycling.
And now, I possessed every element I had set down in that guide.
My starting faith was Twisted Truth.
My race was Half-Elf.
Then perhaps that held true for her traits as well.
【I’ve never seen a mental structure this unusual. You won’t go mad no matter how many evil gods you serve.】
The traits Blind Believer and Rusted Spirit.
The former granted the favor of all evil gods; the latter halved one’s mental fortitude compared to a standard character but eliminated the penalty from multiple faiths.
Combined, they allowed her to become exactly what Swe’je described—a multi-apostate who could worship countless evil gods without losing her mind or losing her edge.
“Then I can rest assured. I may embrace your authority with full confidence, great god.”
【If you won’t break, there’s no reason to hesitate!】
Zing!
A hot, stinging pain flared near her collarbone.
Lifting her clothes to check, she found a vivid black lightning tattoo etched into her skin.
《Mark of Violent Thunder Cloud.》
《To think I now share this one with the vile Swe’je. The Wise One seethes with rage….》
Honestly, the mark looked far more striking than Ridni’s symbol—those eyes.
As she silently admired the tattoo’s mystical aura, she heard that old-man chuckle again: “Ehehehe.”
【You shameless beauty, are you already trying to seduce me with your charms?】
“…….”
She lifted her already-raised top even higher.
An extravagant gesture of reverence toward her newly adopted deity.
Swe’je’s voice grew bright and cheerful, apparently satisfied.
【You… you know how to please a god.】
“I do what I can, great god.”
【These days all believers are hopeless in quality and quantity alike, but you might be different. I’ll teach you what manner of religious life you must lead—pay close attention!】
She already knew, but she opened her ears and listened as if hearing it for the first time.
【First, my apostates must cultivate their beauty. If they’re ugly, I make them wear masks; if they’re mediocre, I have them work on their appearance—but you can walk around exactly as you are.】
The first religious duty required of an apostate of the Cult of Filthy Commerce: be beautiful.
She’d already fulfilled that simply by being a Half-Elf.
【And with that handsome face, you must enjoy daily dalliances with equally handsome men, flirting and carrying on! But lately I’ve had so few believers that I’ll accept just a ten-minute conversation with a pretty boy per day.】
Second religious duty, then: exchange words with handsome men.
What kind of god makes such demands?
Yet there was nothing to be done about it. His worldview and conduct were fundamentally flawed, which was precisely why he counted as an evil god.
When the Hwa-An Anthill had genuinely existed somewhere on the Western Continent, the temples of the Cult of Filthy Commerce had held scandalous festivals daily; but now that the sect’s influence had withered so thoroughly, it amounted to little more than idle conversation.
“Is that truly all?”
【Such a dismissive tone. Should I place my hopes in you?】
“Of course, great god. I am Kar, a Half-Elf capable of any deed at your command.”
【Oh, you beautiful thing! Here, take a basic Divine Ability as well!】
Another sharp sting flared at her collarbone, and beneath the dashing lightning tattoo, a small secondary lightning mark appeared.
《First-Rank Divine Ability – Black Thunder Bloom (Growth-type)》
《You can manipulate cheap black electricity. Ugh, pathetic! The name’s terrible too!》
The name did leave something to be desired.
Swe’je’s Divine Abilities all contained juvenile wordplay that was notoriously difficult to localize, and the Korean translation team had paid dearly for it.
【I’m looking forward to this. Farewell!】
With those words, the tingling current that had coursed through her body ceased, and Swe’je’s presence vanished.
She straightened her clothes and rose from her seat.
《Hmph. Pleased, are you? Go forth and play nicely with Swe’je!》
“And what do you have to say about this, Ridni?”
《I invoke my right to remain silent.》
He was clearly sulking hard.
But who was she?
A seasoned apostate who had served evil gods thousands of times over—far more petty than the Marlin siblings, who were still children in their current roles.
She had long since mastered the art of coaxing and coddling Ridni.
“Ridni, I shall rest well today, and tomorrow I shall visit the library and devote myself wholly to my religious duties.”
She gathered up Swe’je’s idol and climbed the stairs, when text suddenly appeared before her eyes.
《The Great One smiles with satisfaction. 🙂 》
An easy god to handle, truly.
***
The hidden den of the concealed Ghoul pack.
The Hwa-An Anthill.
The analysis of the Hidden Pieces concealed in the two dungeons she’d reported would be handled by the Harmony Sect’s dungeon-oversight priesthood, the Lantern of Inquiry.
The full work would likely take no fewer than four days.
This meant the remaining information bounty wouldn’t come through for some days yet, but rumors would spread well before then.
After all, a novice Explorer had just discovered not one but two Hidden Pieces in quick succession.
Even the normally tight-lipped priests were surely whispering about it on the sly.
‘So now… it’s about time they came looking.’
I was making my way to District 6’s only library after receiving permission from a Holy Knight of the Spear of Order who guarded the entrance to Apostate Town.
My only companion was Abel, whose ankle injury had recovered somewhat.
I’d left Marlin behind, bedridden with muscle soreness from clearing the Dungeon.
“Patron, why are we going to the library?”
Abel asked in the awkward formal speech that didn’t match his youthful appearance.
He’d been displaying excessive loyalty since yesterday, and there was no point in telling him to stop, so I’d simply let it be.
If I brought up how he’d asked me a bold question on first meeting, he’d completely prostrate himself, so I couldn’t even tease him about it.
A desperate effort to make up for the mistake.
‘Slum dwellers really are different.’
Even a twelve-year-old boy knew how to navigate the world this way.
It was a neighborhood where rude people got their heads cracked as a lesson in manners.
《If the Apostate’s image has fallen so low that a boy like this would pick a fight with you on sight….》
It was probably because I looked frail.
In terms of raw physical ability, I was weaker than the young siblings, so it wasn’t a bad assessment.
I placed my hand on Abel’s head as I answered.
“To read books. A twisted-truth Apostate must read steadily, you see.”
“Ah, I see.”
“That was a lie.”
“I see.”
That wasn’t it at all…?
His lukewarm response made my playfulness deflate completely.
If it had been Marlin, he would have shouted “Then hurry up and go read some!” with explosive enthusiasm.
Ridni always yearns for fresh knowledge. That’s why he demands of his followers a Religious Life devoted to progressive learning and contemplation.”
“What a wonderful person.”
“Though he takes particular interest in vicious disciplines—throwing others into calamity, sowing discord between friends, collapsing social order, that sort of thing.”
“…Quite the unusual person, it seems.”
《The wise one asks with excitement: what knowledge do you mean to covet?》
Walking briskly, I soon arrived before a ramshackle building situated near the central plaza of District 6.
[Leaves of the World Tree]
A library with a rather weathered appearance despite its name.
Though worn, that also meant it boasted history and tradition.
Ding.
I stepped inside to the cheerful sound of the door chime ringing above my head, and a musty smell wafted out.
The librarian who should have been at the reception counter was nowhere to be seen.
Since I understood the library’s layout without a guide, I ventured straight into its depths.
It was a corner where books that no one had checked out, gathering only dust, were collected.
[The Aesthetics of Rotting Meat]
[The Most Efficient Method of Stealing Snacks from Small Children]
[Cucumber Hatred Is Justified]
“You can certainly understand why these books aren’t popular, given their titles.”
“Evidence that the librarian isn’t in their right mind.”
Still, even among refuse, the occasional treasure is discovered.
After searching for quite some time, I managed to find a book containing fresh knowledge.
[I’ll Tell You Everything About the Nightmare Dungeon!]
A strategy guide for the Nightmare Dungeon.
It was bound to be interesting.
At this point, only the first four floors out of all fifty have been conquered—so how could it claim to tell us everything?
《Utterly baseless information. The determining factor will be the author’s imagination. Better to use it as kindling.》
I agreed with the Eye That Pierces Truth’s cynical assessment.
Still, as long as it could satisfy Ridni, that was all that mattered.
Having climbed to the fourth floor of the library, which served as a reading room, I came to the room farthest down the corridor.
“A cozy room.”
“Abel, pick a book for yourself.”
“…I’m a bit drowsy, so I’ll rest for a moment and then read.”
“As you wish.”
I took a seat near the window at a small square table and began reading.
[What lies at the end of the Nightmare Dungeon? Surely there awaits treasure and divine scripture more precious than anything else. Of course, the honor of having conquered the most difficult Dungeon is obviously attached to it as well.]
That’s right.
[Are you afraid because you want to challenge it but it’s too dangerous? Don’t worry. The Nightmare Dungeon will wait forever for Explorers to conquer it. So there’s no need to rush. I wish you good fortune!]
That’s completely wrong.
It won’t wait—after five years, a horde of monsters led by the Demon Lord of the highest floor will burst forth and annihilate the world.
That’s not all.
The Demon Lord’s “Six Apostles,” who work in the shadows on the surface to obstruct the dungeon’s conquest, are another troublesome problem.
If I grow too complacent and idle, I’ll bear witness to this world’s utter ruin.
‘Which means I can’t afford to miss this opportunity. I have to seize it.’
Whoosh.
Without warning, the spirit stone lamp extinguished, and the room went dark.
When the light flickered back on, an Elf stood in the corner of the room.
Short hair the color of bright crimson—the same shade as the eyes fixed on me—and a veil that covered mouth and nose completely, paired with light clothes that didn’t hinder movement, all of it as dark as shadow.
The figure matched, nearly perfectly, the taciturn assassin I remembered.
‘She’s here.’
The guest I absolutely had to befriend had arrived.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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