Will You Cry for Me If I Die? - Chapter 45

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 45

 

At that moment, voices came from inside the door again.

 

Lower, closer.

 

“Those marked are easily shaken at night. Their resistance weakens.”

 

“Someone must go first, we need to decide the order.”

 

“Bom.”

 

I opened my eyes wide.

 

My vision briefly expanded.

 

Yurahel.

 

The trembling of his fingertips came to mind.

 

That moment when they shook so faintly.

 

My heart grew urgent.

 

When urgent, my feet move first.

 

They go before my thoughts.

 

As I tried to step forward like that, my foot almost fell down the stairs.

 

At that moment Demian grabbed my shoulder.

 

Not painfully.

 

But firmly.

 

My body stopped.

 

He sighed in relief and said.

 

“Not now. If we go further from here, we’ll be caught? The moment they come out will be more dangerous.”

 

“I know that too.”

 

I bit my lips.

 

Pressed down with my teeth.

 

My mouth became bitter.

 

Lermiel spoke very quietly.

 

“We know who has that cursed mark, when they waver, so there’s no need to rush, Rumel.”

 

I didn’t like those words.

 

My chest rose again.

 

Just knowing can’t save people.

 

Can’t stop it.

 

I said to myself.

 

Pressed hard.

 

‘I need to become stronger’

 

I wish I could become an adult quickly.

 

The basement air was cold, making my fingertips numb.

 

The air clung damply, making my fingertips dully frozen.

 

My breathing became short.

 

Each inhale felt blocked inside.

 

I had endured a lot since last night.

 

I chose to keep enduring without closing my eyes, steadying my breath.

 

So now, my enduring strength was diminished.

 

My strength remained as if scraping the bottom.

 

I hated that fact so much, my eyes grew hot.

 

Inside my eyes stung sharply.

 

I rubbed my eyes.

 

The back of my hand brushed my eye area.

 

“My eyes hurt, the light still remains and stabs.”

 

Theodor whispered.

 

It was a voice holding back breath.

 

“Me too, it’s been a little stinging since earlier. The sound still remains too.”

 

Demian tried to lift me up.

 

His arms came up again.

 

I said immediately.

 

My mouth opened first.

 

“You can hold me, right now I’ll shake more if I stand.”

 

The words jumped out of my mouth, surprising even me.

 

My chest stopped briefly.

 

Demian paused briefly, then held me very carefully.

 

His arms wrapped around gently.

 

Warmth pressed against my chest.

 

Pressed from outside to inside.

 

I endured that pressure.

 

I didn’t push it away.

 

Right now it’s okay to be pressed.

 

Right now not shaking comes first.

 

We quietly climbed the stairs.

 

Reducing footsteps, lowering our breath, not letting go of hands.

 

The basement door remained closed.

 

No gap was visible.

 

The water sounds from inside continued.

 

Splash.

 

Splash.

 

The thin sound repeated.

 

That sound followed me into my head.

 

It passed my ears and remained inside.

 

I looked at Lermiel from Demian’s arms.

 

My gaze stuck to him.

 

“Night, they do it at night. They can’t move during the day.”

 

I said.

 

Lermiel answered lowly.

 

His eyes nodded briefly.

 

“Yes, when night comes, vision blurs and movements hide.”

 

Demian added briefly.

 

The words continued without breaking.

 

“Tonight we move first. I’ll handle the preparations.”

 

Hearing those words, I steadied my breathing.

 

My chest rose once greatly then fell.

 

A four-year-old can’t make long plans.

 

If I think too much, my head stops first.

 

So I decided on just one thing.

 

If I hold onto just one thing, I won’t lose it.

 

Tonight, I see Bom first.

 

Those hands, that trembling, that mark first.

 

So, I would see Yurahel first!

 

Coming up the stairs, breathing became a little easier.

 

The air was less humid.

 

The basement air was humid, making my throat stuffy.

 

The feeling of being blocked inside lingered long.

 

My throat gets blocked more easily because I’m a baby.

 

Even the slightest pressure would trigger it immediately.

 

I lifted my head from Demian’s embrace and took a deep breath through my nose.

 

Air rushed in all at once.

 

The smell of cold stone.

 

The smell of soap.

 

The smell of people.

 

The water smell from the basement had grown faint, but still lingered at the edges.

 

The end hadn’t been cut off.

 

I grabbed that tail in my mind.

 

I tied it so I wouldn’t lose it.

 

I mustn’t lose it.

 

If I lose it, it’ll be hard to find again.

 

Lermiel blocked our path and spoke.

 

His body quietly barred the way.

 

“From here on, your expression matters. What just happened must not remain on your faces.”

 

I tilted my head.

 

My neck leaned to the side.

 

“Expression, just look like you don’t know anything.”

 

Lermiel said quietly.

 

His gaze swept the surroundings once.

 

“You must look like you know nothing, like children who only watched the ceremony and are going back.”

 

I pressed my lips tightly together.

 

My mouth flattened.

 

Pretending not to know anything is difficult.

 

If you pretend not to know, you really become someone who doesn’t know.

 

I don’t want to become someone who doesn’t know.

 

But I have to do it.

 

If I don’t, I won’t be able to see more.

 

I grabbed Demian’s collar and whispered.

 

My hand gripped the fabric tightly.

 

“I’ll do well, I won’t move my face, and I won’t shake my eyes.”

 

Demian lightly tapped my forehead with his finger.

 

It touched briefly then pulled away.

 

“Yes, do well, just like you’re doing now.”

 

Theodor whispered from beside me.

 

His voice carried breath.

 

“Me too, I can do it too. I won’t move my face either.”

 

His voice was getting louder, so I gently pressed Theodor’s lips with my finger.

 

My fingertip touched his lips.

 

“Quietly, speak only as much as a breath, anything more can be heard.”

 

Theodor nodded.

 

We came back out to the bright corridor.

 

When light hit my eyes, the inside stung briefly.

 

Servants were coming and going, arranging decorative cloth.

 

Cloth was lifted and lowered, wrinkles smoothed then gathered again.

 

The stage is decorated anew.

 

Hands moved quickly, and different colors covered the traces.

 

Then the traces are hidden.

 

Pressed thin beneath the layered cloth.

 

I hated that concealment.

 

I hated the feeling of things that should be seen being hidden.

 

When hidden, they can’t be seen.

 

Even when eyes touch them, they can’t be grasped.

 

When I can’t see, I feel anxious.

 

My heart floats like hands grasping at nothing.

 

Millayen was waiting at the end of the corridor.

 

He stood motionless in a spot where light reached.

 

He stood alone, but didn’t seem alone.

 

It felt like Winter was standing behind him.

 

The air was pressed down coldly.

 

Millayen looked at us and spoke.

 

His gaze came down straight.

 

“Did you hear what was said inside?”

 

Demian nodded.

 

Definitively.

 

“Bom first, shaken at night. The order has been decided.”

 

Millayen’s gaze shifted to me.

 

His eyes paused briefly.

 

That gaze was somewhat heavy.

 

Eyes that asked even what wasn’t spoken.

 

I spoke forcefully.

 

I pushed breath into it.

 

“Yurahel, he’ll see Bom first. I’ll take charge first.”

 

Millayen paused briefly then nodded.

 

His gaze relaxed very briefly.

 

“Yes, that’s enough. Hold out until night.”

 

That one sentence was the end.

 

He didn’t speak any longer.

 

But that end was the adults’ beginning.

 

The short words remained as if they would continue at length.

 

We moved among the people.

 

We walked mixed in the flow without being pushed.

 

The banquet hall opened again.

 

The door opened wide, and sounds from inside flowed out.

 

This time it was a daytime banquet.

 

There was more light, and colors were brighter.

 

There was more laughter, and sounds were louder.

 

Words overlapped, glasses clinked, and footsteps mixed.

 

My ears felt ticklish.

 

The inside was scratched thinly.

 

I mustn’t cover my ears.

 

If I cover them, it’ll be more obvious.

 

So instead I raised my chin.

 

I tilted my head back slightly.

 

When I raise my chin, it seems like less sound enters my ears.

 

I don’t know if it’s real.

 

But right now it felt that way.

 

Theodor whispered beside me.

 

He barely moved his mouth.

 

“Rumel, you’re tired, your face looks a little strange.”

 

I delayed my answer.

 

I held onto my words without choosing them carefully.

 

If I said I was tired, we’d have to stop.

 

If we stopped, I’d lose Yurahel.

 

So I said this instead.

 

I steadied my breathing and spoke briefly.

 

“I can endure it. Right now, holding on comes first.”

 

Theodor’s face hardened.

 

His eyes dropped for a moment, then came back up.

 

He had the face of someone who didn’t like what I said.

 

The face of someone who hated me enduring things.

 

Looking at that face, I felt a little regret.

 

My words had been too firm.

 

I’m four years old, so being too firm would be strange.

 

But I had already spoken.

 

I couldn’t take it back.

 

I looked forward again.

 

I didn’t let my gaze waver.

 

Yurahel was standing at one side of the banquet hall, by the window.

 

Light touched him only from the side.

 

Even though he was among people, he seemed alone.

—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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