The Villainess Lives Twice - Chapter 301

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 301

Milaire raised her head.

Her voluptuous brown hair, which had once redefined the standards of beauty, was disheveled and tangled.

Her once pale face was tanned by the sun. Her arms were blotchy. It seemed she had made some mistake while doing laundry.

Her once rosy cheeks had become gaunt and skeletal from thinness. Only her large eyes stood out hollowly.

Artizea removed her hat and placed it on the desk.

Then she pulled out a desk chair that looked as if it had been tidied up but never used, positioned it toward the bed, and sat down.

Since Artizea had aged, sitting face to face like this made them look like peers.

“Mother.”

Artizea called to her again.

Milaire did not respond to those words. It didn’t seem like she failed to recognize Artizea.

But Milaire started to open her mouth, then simply closed it again. And with a tired expression, she lowered her head once more.

“…”

Artizea sat quietly for a moment, gazing at her.

The first thing that came to mind was whether or not to tell her about Lawrence.

Originally, she had intended to inform her. Not out of vengeance, but because it seemed like the right thing to do.

But she decided against it. Milaire didn’t look like she could withstand that shock.

The monk had said Milaire lacked energy, but it seemed to be more than just that level of problem.

Milaire had always been mentally unstable from the beginning. It seemed that had progressed to an extremely melancholic direction, leaving her unable to do anything now.

“Is it difficult living here?”

“…”

No answer came back. There wasn’t even any irritation telling her to leave her alone.

Her bent nape looked so pitiful it seemed it might break at any moment.

Artizea turned her hands over on her knees and clasped them together. The diamond of her bracelet pressed painfully into her palm.

She had not intended to meet again. There was no need to.

What would she accomplish by meeting Milaire again?

Artizea had no intention of taking her out of the monastery.

Milaire had come to this place because she had committed sins. The penitent life at the monastery was already merciful enough compared to the sins she had committed.

Then, could she reconcile with Milaire as family?

Would Milaire give up Lawrence, even belatedly? Would she regard her as a beloved daughter and embrace her?

Even if she showed such behavior temporarily, it couldn’t be sincere.

Artizea knew this.

Since Sedric was far more merciful than herself, it would be best for Milaire to simply remain relying on his mercy.

If she died before Artizea someday, it would be enough to simply hear about it in a single line of obituary.

But having come this far, Artizea finally thought.

Milaire had been Artizea’s starting point.

So to put everything away, she had to return to this place.

“Mother.”

Artizea called to her again.

Milaire would never know how strangely that word pierced her own heart.

“I gave birth to a baby. A daughter.”

Artizea uttered that single sentence and sat in stunned silence for a moment.

“It happened, you know. I thought someone like me would have no connection to such things.”

“…”

“So… when I gave birth, I thought the world would somehow change, but it wasn’t particularly like that.”

She did not become a mother who loved and devoted herself to her baby intensely.

She didn’t think about making the world better for the baby’s sake either.

That didn’t mean she disliked the baby. Even though she nearly died giving birth, it didn’t feel real that the baby had come from inside her.

The baby was more lovable than other babies. Not because she had given birth to her, but because she resembled Sedric.

“Since she fortunately resembles a good person, I thought I’d like to see her grow up splendidly. If she grows up well and becomes a perfect heir, then I thought I might hear that it was okay even though someone like me gave birth to her… I hoped for that.”

Artizea lowered her gaze to look at the floor.

There wasn’t much to look at on the narrow room’s floor, so her gaze fell on Milaire’s curled-up feet.

“But when it came time to die, I remembered her.”

Even though she hadn’t given her much affection.

Her milk never came in, and she had never changed a diaper with her own hands. She had never slept with the baby, and had rarely even held her.

“I thought it would be a much better life for that child if I weren’t there. Not even remaining in her memory would have been the only thing I could do for her.”

If she thought of the baby, that would surely be the right thing to do.

She didn’t need to exist. There were several excellent caregivers attached. There were people who would give love, and there would be people to teach her in the future.

The baby’s father would protect and love her as much as two people combined.

Since she resembled her father, she would surely grow up healthy and lovely to become a splendid person.

“But when I was about to die, I remembered and hesitated.”

Artizea cleared her throat several times.

That wasn’t for the baby’s sake. It was for her own sake.

She had thought she was ready to die anytime without leaving any regrets, but that wasn’t the case.

It seemed that people who left something behind in the world also had lingering attachments.

“I had thought it would be better not to give birth. I believed it would be better not to remain in the baby’s memory.”

Even after deciding to give birth, she had been hesitating until the very end.

Artizea had never thought about trying to live again.

From when she first threw herself into the magic circle until the second time she did so, she had never once thought that her life had started anew.

Her body had simply become younger and she had traveled back in time.

Since her circumstances and position had changed, she didn’t live exactly the same as before.

There were times when her heart fluttered. There were times when she was happy. There were times when she felt she had become softer in using people than before.

Relationships intertwined like warp and weft. Artizea sometimes felt that she wasn’t alone in her study but living together with other people.

But she hadn’t fundamentally changed.

Just as Sedric had been committed to seeking strategies from her and taking responsibility since that time, she too had simply changed masters and lived in a way that suited him from then until now.

She had thought she wouldn’t regret it.

All her sins were ones she had decided upon and committed herself.

Artizea was a sinner to almost everyone in the world. That sin should not be pushed onto Milaire’s shoulders.

Like those people who had made the right choices even when she created the most harsh situations, she too should have done so.

She could have done so. Because she was the same human being.

So in the end, she was the villain, and committing sins was her choice.

Just like all the others who were defeated after being caught up in her schemes.

Even if she regretted it, wouldn’t she go back to that time and act the same way again?

So she had tried not to make efforts to lessen her guilt. She had no intention of pretending to be a new person.

But even after cutting off Milaire, even after leaving and hurting Sedric, there were still lingering attachments.

She hesitated because she wanted to live. Even knowing she was someone who didn’t deserve to.

When Sedric extended his hand, even while watching that arm burst, she wanted to grasp it.

She could no longer pretend not to see the desire writhing and crawling up from the bottom of her heart.

“So I’m going to try living again.”

Those words must have touched somewhere in Milaire’s heart, as she flinched.

Artizea raised her head to look at Milaire’s face. Milaire’s eyes wavered.

Artizea soon turned her gaze away again to look out the window.

Through the small window, she could see a palm-sized piece of sky.

“I’m going to try making a family too. You might say ‘How dare someone like you try to live a new life’… but since I’m a villainess who should die from divine punishment anyway, like a villainess, shamelessly… I’m going to try living again while I’m still alive.”

She might fail too.

But it would be okay. Milaire was alone, but she was not alone.

The most reliable shield in the world would be by her side.

Artizea remained silent for a long time after that. She had thought everything had dried up and disappeared, but when she dug deep, there were too many words filling her chest.

“I will never… meet Mother again. I won’t interfere in Mother’s affairs either.”

Artizea spoke. And scraping to the very bottom of where the scars had been, she said what she truly wanted to say.

“But I will forgive you, Mother.”

“….”

“Only my share.”

Only as much as that baby who had cried and reached out her arms, wanting to be loved even while being pinched.

Those were the only words of forgiveness she could utter in this world.

And it was also a farewell.

As she turned around, Milaire drew in a breath.

“Tia.”

Without checking whether it was a sob or surprise, Artizea left the room.

“I’m sorry.”

A frail voice apologized from behind her.

Artizea was not caught by those words. She neither denied them nor crushed them with deliberately cruel words.

The door closed quietly.

Alice was waiting in the corridor, standing a little distance away.

“My lady.”

Artizea smiled brightly.

She put the bracelet back on her left hand and approached Alice. Alice smiled back at her.

“You’re smiling.”

“Did you think I would come out crying?”

“Just in case.”

Alice laughed awkwardly.

Artizea put on her hat properly. Then she covered her face with the veil.

“I’m fine.”

“My lady.”

“I didn’t go there to complain. I just wanted to end it.”

To finish her first life and truly begin her second life.

“Thank you.”

“Pardon?”

“Thank you. For always being by my side.”

She still couldn’t say it without the veil.

But since she had the veil now, Artizea spoke honestly like that. Alice’s face turned red.

“What do you mean by saying that so suddenly?”

“What do you mean what do I mean. I mean exactly what I said.”

Artizea smiled. Then she reached out and took Alice’s arm.

And with her support, she slowly returned to the carriage.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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