The Trashy PD Has To Survive as an Idol - Chapter 86

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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86

“Kim Jae-yeon, are you absolutely certain there’s nothing?”
[I’m telling you there’s nothing. Why are you suddenly bringing this up?]
“There’s no way a person doesn’t have any flaws. Have you ever dug into it?”
[Well, I’ve looked into it, but….]

After wiping away the few drops of blood on the back of my hand, I put on my mask and left the Korean Restaurant. I’d chosen the most deserted route possible and called Kim Jae-yeon along the way.
Damn it… I flinched every time a car passed.
Damn it… I flinch every time the car comes out.

“….”
[…That’s all there is.]
“…This is driving me crazy.”
[Ah, I knew you’d react like this, which is why I didn’t want to bring it up.]
Ah, I didn’t want to bring it up because I knew you’d react like this.

Min Ji-heon is the real deal. He showed it to me directly himself.

“Rumors about seeing ghosts? Do you think anyone would buy that?”

Kim Jae-yeon, sensing my frustration, spoke in a deflated tone.
Kim Jae-yeon spoke in a deflated voice, unsure how to interpret my irritation.

“…Understood. Go ahead and check.”
“…Understood. Please go in.”

I hung up the phone immediately and shoved my cell phone roughly into my pocket. Whenever a car passed by, I ducked my head down and walked with long strides. Even when a car rushed past on a distant road… I remembered that accident again, and my breath caught while my hands trembled uncontrollably.

“My younger sibling… No, never mind.”

I felt the urge to check on his well-being, but showing him my current state would only cause him worry. He’s already carrying all the troubles of the world on his shoulders—I didn’t need to add myself to that burden.

“Let’s go back for now. Let’s go back, get some rest, and think about it.”

My thoughts were tangled in knots, leaving my mind unable to process anything coherently. I continued muttering curses under my breath, but the moment I stepped into the Dormitory, I clamped my mouth shut. Hearing the door open, Kang Yi-chae emerged from his room with headphones draped around his neck.

“Wow, came to see a beautiful rapper in his twenties?”
“…Yeah.”
“Did the audition go well~?”

Kang Yi-chae spouted his usual nonsense, but the shock from earlier was so overwhelming that I couldn’t muster an appropriate response. I tried to brush past him with a vague answer, but Kang Yi-chae stopped in his tracks, his eyebrows twitching.

“…?”
“…What.”
“What is it?”

Kang Yi-chae, who had been scanning me from head to toe with narrowed eyes, was about to say something.

“Why are you breathing so heavily….”

Beep!

‘Damn.’

A horn blared from outside.

“….”

Wondering if this was another auditory hallucination, I hid my trembling hands behind my back and tried to compose my expression. Kang Yi-chae took a step forward and glanced out the window.
Outside, there was indeed a car.

“What’s with that car.”

Kang Yi-chae could see it too.

‘Not a hallucination or delusion.’

“Yeah, it’s… a bit loud.”
“….”
“…Yeah.”

I tried to speak casually, but no sound emerged from my throat. It was a familiar sensation. A sinking feeling suddenly washed over me.

“Hey, Kang… Kang Yi-chae, Yi-chae.”

Only then did I feel my body seizing up again. I’d been fine until moments ago, but hearing that sound made my fingertips turn deathly pale and my breathing stutter in gasps. Without even a chance to gauge Kang Yi-chae’s expression, I reached out for help.

“Wait, wait…. I, uh….”
“….”
“What is it. You know….”

A bag, I needed a bag. Something to let me breathe deeply….
My mind was so scattered I couldn’t tell if what I was saying made sense, or who I was even speaking to.

“Damn…. Fuck….”

The horn sound kept forcing its way through my fingers. It was a sound I’d heard countless times before, but it was so identical to what I’d heard at twenty….
The screech of skidding tires, the crash into the guardrail, the piercing screams…. The scene I’d witnessed moments ago unfolded like a panorama before my eyes.

“….”

Suddenly something was shoved in front of my mouth.
When I fumbled for it with my hands, it crinkled. A plastic bag. Rather than thanking anyone, I snatched it desperately and pressed it to my lips, exhaling and inhaling repeatedly.
Slowly, slowly… breathe out.
Remembering what the Counselor had emphasized back then… deeply and calmly….

“…Fuck….”

It’s okay, it’s okay….
My heart, which had been racing wildly, gradually began to calm. I crouched down and clung to the bag as if it were a lifeline, breathing out slowly.
…Honestly, I have no idea how long I was like that.

“….”

When I finally came to my senses, I was alone.
Somewhere along the way, the curtains had been drawn, the window closed, and the blaring horn had stopped.
The bag bore the logo of the Convenience Store I frequented. I stared blankly at the crumpled bag while rubbing the back of my pale, ashen hand.

‘It stopped.’

…It seemed like I was okay now.
The first words that came out after regaining my senses were….

“…Damn it.”

It was a curse, as expected.
At the same time, I crumpled the envelope I’d been gripping tightly and hurled it into the corner. I felt like I’d go insane if I didn’t act out somehow.

“Damn it! Damn it! This pathetic mess…!”

After shouting like a madman for a while, I buried my face in my hands.

“This… this bastard….”

Right, no matter what I did now, nothing would come back to me.
After a long moment, I took a deep breath and stood up. I trudged into my bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed frame, trying to gather my thoughts.
When a person is pushed to the brink, their thoughts lose balance and scatter in all directions… but now, gradually, my clouded mind seemed to be returning to clarity.
And I realized.

‘…Am I… completely screwed right now?’

Kang Yi-chae saw everything about me.
Kang Yi-chae… damn it, the moment he tells the team members about this, I might be finished.
A guy who can’t keep his wits about him because of hyperventilation? How could the team accept him as a member? How could they trust him? I made that commotion at Shining Star while asking them to believe in me….
If this gets out, I won’t be able to act so boldly anymore. No matter what I do, everyone will obviously insist I go to the hospital.
I….
I don’t have the time or the luxury for that.

Just then, the bedroom door suddenly swung open.
Jung Da-jun, Kim Sung-hyun, and Kang Yi-chae rushed in, and Jung Da-jun plopped down beside me, chattering away.

“Ho-yoon! Did you check on your brother?”
“Wait, hey, Jung Da-jun—those headphones aren’t mine? You said you’d borrow them and still haven’t given them back.”
“Hehe, bro. What’s mine and yours between us?”

Watching the noisy members with my mind still half-absent, their usual demeanor somehow kept me from feeling anxious or uneasy like before. Jung Da-jun laughed and bickered with Kim Sung-hyun.

“Right, there’s no mine and yours… just yours and yours.”
“Hehe, you caught me.”

Jung Da-jun examined the headphones this way and that, marveling at them before suddenly turning to look at Kang Yi-chae.

“Yi-chae, by the way, why were you two talking downstairs earlier?”
“Oh, that car honking its horn?”

Sung Ji-won peeked through the open doorway and spoke.

“Yi-chae was really angry, telling them to turn it off?”

All eyes turned toward Kang Yi-chae, who had been silent. I almost blurted out that I’d been sprawled pathetically alone in the Living Room, clutching a plastic bag and putting on a ridiculous show, but I suddenly lifted my head—

“…Nah.”

His response was unexpected.

“The neighbors just have no manners.”

Kang Yi-chae… was playing dumb.

“Yeah, it was pretty loud.”

Everyone accepted his explanation without question. Kang Yi-chae remained standing at an angle, not sparing me a single glance.
As my mind cleared, I grasped the situation.

‘…So he’s keeping it secret after all.’

Since I’d mentioned losing my parents in a traffic accident before, he must have noticed the trembling and realized I had trauma.
It was considerate of him.
Even if my mood was still foul.

“We have the day off—what should we do? Should we practice more?”
“Yeah, finally! Da-jun’s got some motivation.”
“Huh…! What did I just say? Practice on a day off?”
“You’ve been brainwashed.”

I’d thought that incident was long buried, that it would never affect me again.
We’d even borrowed a van and made a daring escape before—I never imagined a car horn would trigger trauma buttons now.

“….”

I wiped the cold sweat trickling down my forehead and collapsed onto the bed.
Honestly, I was exhausted.
Of course I was. I’d gone through some bizarre experience, screamed my lungs out like an idiot, and even hyperventilated….
Jung Da-jun had apparently lost interest in the headphones, tossed them onto the bed, and moved to a chair, spinning around while hugging the backrest.

“Ho-yoon! When are the results coming out?”
“…What results.”
“The drama audition results!”

I’d completely forgotten about it. I sighed and buried my face into the pillow, groaning.

“You did great, right? You’re totally the Lee Jung-hoon character! Seriously, just showing your face is enough to pass! Just go and do what they tell you, and they’ll be like, ‘Wait, this is Lee Jung-hoon? Passed!’ That’s it!”
“….”
“Hey, Da-jun, calm down a bit.”

The other members, sensing my dark mood, tried to hold back Jung Da-jun. But he didn’t pick up on the hint and kept bouncing excitedly as he spoke.

“If you really make it to the finals, I should go visit and see Min Ji-heon too~!”

Min Ji-heon….
That bastard I’d like to tear apart piece by piece.

“….”

But I had no strength left. I just sighed silently and buried my face deeper. Only then did Jung Da-jun seem to realize something was wrong, and he stopped bouncing and fell quiet.

“…Da-jun.”
“Yes, yes?”

A rough, sharp voice came out of my mouth—unlike my usual tone. I spoke without even looking at Jung Da-jun.

“Sorry, but could you leave?”
“….”
“I’m tired.”

Even though I spoke harshly sometimes, I genuinely cared for Jung Da-jun in my own way. Besides, if I told someone to get out, they got out—I wasn’t the type to act weak like this. So Jung Da-jun seemed quite taken aback, and he said nothing for a moment before asking quietly.

“…Is something wrong?”

Under normal circumstances, even if I’d caused trouble, I would’ve brushed it off with some quip like “Why would I cause trouble when you’re so good at it?” and ruffled their hair to lighten the mood. But I couldn’t bring myself to do that now.
More than that—I didn’t have the strength.
The members, noticing my condition was worse than expected, exchanged quick glances and carefully ushered Jung Da-jun out of the bedroom with nervous laughter.

“Jung Da-jun, today’s just not your day. Out you go, out you go.”
“…Okay.”
“Ho-yoon, get some rest~.”

Even though I knew I should go out there and ease the tension, I had neither the energy nor any excuses to offer.
What could I even say?
That Min Ji-heon’s ability made me relive my parents’ accident… and triggered hyperventilation?

“Damn it….”

Forget it. Let them be for now. No matter how much I think of them as younger brothers, they’re still four complete strangers. Simple-minded as they are, they’ll forget about this soon enough and be bouncing around the living room again. I sighed and pulled the blanket up.

Creak.

The door opened. Without even opening my eyes, I could tell from the footsteps alone who it was.

Click. Scrape.

Kang Yi-chae had returned and sat in the chair, but he never asked me “What’s wrong?” or “Are you okay?” He simply glanced over to check if I was still breathing, then returned his focus to composing.
It was only after a long while that I managed to splash some water on my face and finally opened my mouth.

“…Thanks.”
“….”
“You basically saved your brother’s life.”

I threw out a light joke, but Kang Yi-chae said nothing. He kept his gaze fixed on the monitor, waiting for me to continue.

“But how did you know I needed a bag….”

I’d fumbled so pathetically for help, yet somehow he’d understood what I needed. I expected him to come up with some excuse like “It’s such a common illness in dramas, I just knew how to handle it” or crack a joke to lighten the mood. But Kang Yi-chae hesitated unexpectedly.
And spoke very carefully.

“…My mom.”
“….”
“My mom used to get them….”

…Unable to respond, Kang Yi-chae and I ended the conversation there.
And I understood. We would bury this quietly without telling anyone.
The clicking of the mouse, the melody line trickling through my headphones bit by bit, and the occasional murmurs of conversation drifting from the Living Room filled the silence between us.

.
.
.

After I came to some time later.

Ding!

A Quest had arrived.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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