The Trashy PD Has To Survive as an Idol - Chapter 54

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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54

A common knowledge quiz?
It’s the first thing variety show producers memorize. As if I, Seo Ho-yoon, wouldn’t know something like that.
…But the moment I deliberately played uncertain and muddied my response, the Production Crew immediately seized the opportunity, eager to push further with a proposition.

[If you get ten correct, we’ll provide the prize not just for Joo Woo-sung, but for all the cast members!]
[Wooooow! Y-O-U-Y-O-U-B-R-I-G-H-T-S-E-O-H-O-Y-O-O-N!]
[W-E-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U-S-E-O-H-O-Y-O-O-N!]
“That’s a bit of pressure….”

Genuinely feeling the weight of it, I was now in the Kitchen downing bottled water. Kang Yi-chae, who’d been sitting on the Living Room floor with his back against the sofa playing games, glanced over at me.

‘What’s up?’
‘Nothing much.’

Just play your game.

[Come on, don’t be so unsure!]
“…Okay, let me give it a shot.”
[Seo Ho-yoon is the best!]
[Alright, shall we begin? 100-second quiz coming up! First question: South Korea has six metropolitan cities. Name them all!]

They really need to update their quiz material….

[Ugh, this is suddenly way too hard to think of~.]

Jeers erupted from the cast toward the Production Crew, but my mouth was already rattling off the answers.

“Daejeon, Daegu, Busan, Incheon, Gwangju, Ulsan.”
[…?]

The Production Crew, who’d lost focus amid my rapid-fire rap, jolted in surprise and reflexively blurted out a response.

[…That’s correct!]

I filled the coffee pot with water and waited for the next question.

[Alright, next question. What is the name of the climate change agreement regarding global warming and greenhouse gases concluded in December 1997?]
“The Kyoto Protocol.”
[…Correct! Now, what is the capital of Albania?]
“Tirana.”

I brewed the coffee slowly in the Kitchen, spitting out the answer in 0.1 seconds. The aroma was wonderful.
After that, I answered every single question without hesitation, and I could hear the opposing Production Crew stirring with unease.

[Wow…! Then, how about this one!]
“Go ahead.”
[What do you call the time slot with the highest viewership ratings, where advertising fees are set the highest, in English?]
[Hey! This is totally unfair!]
[The Production Crew is trying to starve us to death!]
“…Haha.”

A genuine laugh escaped me. The other side immediately reacted with visible alarm.

[Why, why are you laughing?]
“Oh, no reason.”

Even this wretched world occasionally helps me out, it seems….
But I couldn’t say that aloud, so I simply hummed the answer.

“Prime time.”
[…And in Korean?]

The cast members shouted “The Production Crew is shameless!” but I answered calmly.

“Prime hours.”
[Ugh….]

The Production Crew trembled for a long while, then reluctantly uttered words they never wanted to say.

[…Correct.]
[Seo Ho-yoon!!]
[All ten questions answered correctly, Ho-yoon!!]
[Thanks to you, we get to eat!]

‘Yeah, I know that feeling too….’

I nodded with satisfaction. It reminded me of my days as a newcomer, frantically memorizing trivia questions whenever the “Staff vs Cast” dynamic came up, desperate to squeeze out more screen time.

[Seo Ho-yoon, I’m definitely buying your album!]
[Hope the album’s a huge hit!]
“Haha! Thank you so much. I’ll send you a copy.”
[He’s so cool too! That’s awesome!]

On the other end of the line, the cast members were already in party mode. They were even praising me.
Time to dangle some bait.

“Well then, I’ll hang up. Thank you for working so late.”
[Wait! Wait!]

The Production Crew called out to me urgently.

[Seo Ho-yoon, let’s do one more speed quiz.]

I could see it coming from a mile away.
I could already picture the caption during broadcast: “Production Crew shamelessly groveling.” I deliberately hesitated, and the Production Crew quickly sweetened the deal.

[If you get all ten questions right! The cast won’t sleep in a tent tonight! We’ll turn on the boiler and let you sleep in a warm room!]
[Gasp…!]
[…Please, Ho-yoon!]

“Ah, this is….”

I could easily ace trivia questions all day long. But the Production Crew wouldn’t be such easy marks.

[Not trivia—since Joo Woo-sung used his phone-a-friend, we’ll do a quiz about Joo Woo-sung instead.]
[Huh? Why me? That’s a bit….]
[Are you upset you didn’t get compliments about being handsome?]
[No, it’s just that he probably won’t know anything about me.]

He’d failed the mission earlier, and apparently thought I wouldn’t know much about Joo Woo-sung.

‘A miscalculation on their part.’

“How about it, Seo Ho-yoon? Are you perhaps uncertain? Oh right, you can’t look up the answers beforehand~! You have to answer right away for it to count.”
“Fine. I’ll do it.”

I would have answered anyway without that provocation. The moment I responded, both the Production Crew and the other cast members stirred slightly.

[Hey, isn’t this going a bit too far? How could he possibly know what we’re going to ask?]
[Hmm… I’m not sure I believe Seo Ho-yoon on this one.]

Joo Woo-sung ignored them and spoke.

“In exchange, if I get all ten correct, please have The Dun appear on the broadcast after this.”

I sat at the Dining Table with cold coffee in front of me—coffee I hadn’t even finished because I’d been on a phone call—and said as much. Kang Yi-chae looked over at me and laughed, asking if I was really working even at this hour of the morning.
Be quiet.

[Wooooow!!]
[Seo Ho-yoon really has the audacity~.]
[He must be pretty confident!]

Cheers erupted.
The Production Crew seemed to deliberate for a moment, then whispered among themselves. Keywords like “airtime,” “entertainment value,” and “material” flew around, and soon they seemed to reach a decision and spoke to me.

[Okay, rolling!]

‘Here we go.’

I focused intently. And it began.

[Alright, let’s see how close you are with Joo Woo-sung! First quiz! What was Joo Woo-sung’s first number-one song on Black Call, and who was the Composer?]
“ICU. Composed by Philharmonic. It achieved its first number-one ranking on You You Bank on February 5th of XX year.”
[…Huh?]

Joo Woo-sung’s bewildered voice came through clearly.

[Correct! Now, from Black Call’s latest song “Strike,” please recite one line from Joo Woo-sung’s part!]
“Tell me what you want, I’ll make it all come true. Who do you think you are talking to?”
[…Correct!]
[Whoa?]

I’d already gathered all that information when I dug into Joo Woo-sung’s background.
After seeing it two or three times, I could memorize most of it…. In contrast, the Production Crew swallowed hard.

[Hmm… What is Joo Woo-sung’s music show debut date?!]
“December 9th of XX year.”
[Oh… was, was that right?]
[Joo Woo-sung! If Woo-sung seems unsure, what do we do?]
[…That’s correct!!]
[Wow, this is insane! Seo Ho-yoon must be a fan of Joo Woo-sung!]

The next questions were easy. Easy and easier still.
I got all the Black Call B-side track names, the drama OST that Joo Woo-sung had recently sung, and even his cat’s name right.

[Yesss! We’re sleeping inside him!]
[Hey, we really raised our junior Joo Woo-sung well!]
[Hey, Seo Ho-yoon… I’m really starting to feel overwhelmed….]
“Next question, please.”
[…Okay.]

When Joo Woo-sung grumbled, laughter erupted from the other side.
Finally, it was the last quiz. The Production Crew looked like they’d already given up.

[Is this really all we have left? (Yes….)]
[Ah, seriously…. This is just a freebie.]
[We’ve lost….]
[For the last one, this is really like a question where we’re spooning out only the most delicious part and bringing it straight to your mouth.]

I was confident I could handle whatever came. Thinking about The Dun appearing on a terrestrial broadcast, I found myself humming.

[This is the final quiz. What is Joo Woo-sung’s favorite food?!]

?

[Oh, I know this one too~!]
[It’s famous. Joo Woo-sung really loves this.]

…What?
This is famous?

“…Hmm.”

Cold sweat dripped down my face.

[Huh?]

I rummaged through my mind again and again.
Did I have this information? I naturally focused on Joo Woo-sung’s music show appearances and activities. I could memorize the lyrics of Black Call’s second album tracks that Joo Woo-sung wrote if asked right now, but….
How would I know what Joo Woo-sung’s favorite food is?
When an answer didn’t come as easily as before, the Production Crew quickly caught on. They realized I didn’t know.

[Ho-yoon, you have ten seconds left!]

Jjajangmyeon. Spaghetti alle vongole. Cat food. Tuna kimbap. No, wait—tuna kimbap is what Jung Da-jun likes.
I tried to recall everything, but it all scattered chaotically in my mind.
The Production Crew, sensing victory, began the countdown with excitement.

[Seo Ho-yoon, please answer!!]

…How can I answer when I have nothing to say?

“…Um.”
[Yes!]
“I… do I really need to know that?”
[…!!]

A cold silence fell for a moment.

[Buzz!!!]
[….]

I got it wrong. I’d made it all the way to the end, only to fail over one thing—Joo Woo-sung’s favorite food. The deflation hit me, and I found myself staring aimlessly at my phone.

[…Don’t cry! Don’t cry!]
[It’s okay even if your dongsaeng ignores you!]

The cast members who had been silent suddenly began comforting Joo Woo-sung. Honestly, what did it matter what he liked to eat? I listened indifferently to the cheerful chatter coming through the receiver, when one of the cast members kindly explained.

[Joo Woo-sung is absolutely obsessed with kimchi fried rice~. He’s famous for eating it every time he appears on a program, so even non-fans would know about it.]
[Okay, okay. Seo Ho-yoon says he doesn’t want to know about it.]
[Ah… I see….]

Was that really the case?
Now that I think about it, I might have seen something like that before. I wasn’t interested, so I let it pass. Having nothing to say, I decided to wait and transferred them to a 1:1 call so they could make up. Joo Woo-sung was silent for a long time.

[….]
“…Should I hang up if you have nothing to say?”
[Yeah, let’s hang up and cut ties too.]
“…Ugh. That’s such a cold thing to say.”
[No, it won’t work. Go back. We’re not in a refund period right now.]

[Please edit out all the touching moments from before….]

I wasn’t trying to secure the final footage….
The quiz that had turned into a sea of laughter at the end ultimately ended in victory for the Production Crew.

[With the Production Crew’s victory, today’s cast members will be sleeping in a tent!]
[It’s fine, sleeping outside! I’m already warm from laughing so much.]
[Seo Ho-yoon, you’re so funny. Even though the mission failed, I want to have you back next time.]
“I’d be grateful if you’d have me.”

After exchanging a few more words of thanks, gratitude, and well-wishes, I ended the call and flopped onto the sofa.
Once the noise that had been bustling until moments ago disappeared, the silence around me felt even more profound. I could feel Kang Yi-chae, who had been focused on his game with earbuds in, turning his head to look at me.

“Working hard since dawn? You said you were tired.”
“It’s fine.”

There was something worth sacrificing a bit of sleep for. The System Window that appeared before me proved it.

[Sudden Quest Arrived!
Appear on a variety show solo and receive a positive response.
Success: 3,000 Points
Failure: Unable to appear on variety shows for 1 year]

“Haha, as expected….”

Joo Woo-sung is a resource I can exploit to the very end.
As I broke into a grin, Kang Yi-chae glanced at me with a look of disapproval, shook his head, and retreated into the bedroom.
I’d found a way to accumulate points.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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