The Trashy PD Has To Survive as an Idol - Chapter 266

—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————

266

A chance to start over from the beginning?

“Hey.”

Who are you mocking right now?

“You, damn it, that’s not even a funny joke….”

After two years of grueling hardship to build The Dun to where it stands now, you’re telling me to abandon all of it and start fresh from nothing? From being a failed idol again?
I could do it. It’s not that difficult.
But even if I regain Seo Ho-jin’s memories, what guarantee do I have that it won’t all slip away again?
My blood boiled at such nonsensical drivel.
I was on the verge of calling Min Ji-heon to dispose of this System Window somewhere and end everything once and for all.

[No! No, that’s not what I meant!!! Wait!]

The System Window spewed out characters frantically, recoiling from me as if genuinely terrified.

[What I’m saying is a partial reset!]

“…What?”

My hand froze as I reached for my phone.

“A partial reset?”

The System Window cautiously drifted closer again, shimmering with light.

[Do you think I’m insane enough to trigger a full reset? I can’t do it. Well, actually I could, but it would require an astronomical price.]
[You already know this, Seo Ho-yoon. This place is both constructed and real. Naturally, for anything to happen, there must be a corresponding process.]

Then, as if to emphasize the point, quotation marks appeared on both sides of the System Window.

[However, in this place that follows a game format, there exists something that fills in ‘inevitability’ in place of the process. You know what that is, don’t you?]

“….”

Points.
In that instant, all the things I had accomplished with points flashed through my mind.
A fanfare erupted once more.

[As expected, it’s points!]
[The more difficult it is to establish inevitability in reality, the greater the points assigned to an item become.]

Why my body ached whenever I borrowed.
Why errors occurred when I tried to deviate excessively from the System’s intent.
It all came down to the issue of inevitability.

[In fact, Seo Ho-jin was an exceptional existence. He was placed there to help you adapt to this place easily. However, to achieve that, he had to retain memories that shouldn’t have existed in the first place, and as a result, an enormous price was necessary.]

Only points could fill the distorted settings, and when I borrowed, my body suffered pain in place of that gap. The same applied when I failed or ignored a Quest.
The remaining unfilled gaps ultimately led to an ERROR, and Seo Ho-jin’s memories disappeared as a result.

[With a partial reset, you can reverse only the designated portions. For example, Seo Ho-jin’s memories. However, even the smallest part comes at a great cost. Because you’re restoring it to a complete state! You’d need far more points than the reward I gave you earlier. A tremendous amount.]
[Borrowing won’t work either. Borrowing is no longer possible. The System struggled immensely just recovering this time. Your body wouldn’t be able to endure it either, Seo Ho-yoon.]

You don’t need to concern yourself with my body.
The System Window drifted around beside me.

[So, what do you think?]

“…Are you selling me a dream right now?”

I alternated my gaze between the window displaying the reward points and the reset item.
The moment I thought I could get Seo Ho-jin’s memories back intact, my mind began spinning rapidly.
Whether I believed what it said was secondary.

“Why are you going this far for me?”

There had to be something more.
Usually, I was the one demanding what I needed from it.
But this time, it took the initiative and showed me an item I needed.

[I’ve always been on Seo Ho-yoon’s side.]

The System Window elaborated on its reasoning as if it had witnessed my expression directly.

[My role is to help Seo Ho-yoon safely become a first-tier idol and clear the scenario so you can return to your original world. That’s why I exist.]
[So I can’t bear to watch Seo Ho-yoon wither away like this. It may take time, but this method shouldn’t be so bad either….]
[So, what do you say? Want to start accumulating points?]

At the very least, the System Window had never lied to me until now.

“….”

I stared intently at the letters, trying to discern its true intentions, when a sharp sting suddenly shot through the back of my hand.
I lowered my gaze to examine my hand, where dried blood crusted the skin. The numbness that had been creeping through my nerves seemed to be receding.
And instead of the helplessness from moments before, exhaustion crashed over my body.
For the first time, I felt truly alive.
This sensation emerged the moment hope appeared—hope of recovering Seo Ho-jin’s memories.

[Seo Ho-yoon?]

I pushed myself up to wash away the blood, and in the mirror before me, I saw my own pallid reflection.
…My condition was simply pathetic.
Losing a single memory of my younger brother had shattered my composure—it was still pitiful, still contemptible….
There wasn’t a single aspect I was satisfied with, but having come this far, I couldn’t simply collapse here.
I couldn’t end it like this.

“Do I even have a choice in this, you bastard?”

Anything concerning my younger brother wasn’t a choice for me—it was a necessity.
Even if it meant grasping at a rotten rope, I had to hold on.
I rubbed away the dried blood on my hand and murmured softly.

“…I can’t be anyone but him.”

***

Partial reset.
That could restore Seo Ho-jin’s memories.
Though my objective was now clear, it didn’t drastically change what I needed to do immediately.
Starting the next day, I rejoined practice and threw myself into preparations for the upcoming comeback.
The members, sensing I’d been unwell, would panic at the slightest sneeze and come rushing over, ready to lay me down at the first sign of discomfort.
There’s only so much of that I could take.

“Damn it, stop! Please!!”
“Ah… this feels reassuring.”
“I really missed your cursing, hyung!!”

Jung Da-jun clung to me with a gentle smile.

There was one matter I’d postponed dealing with.
Seo Ho-jin, with whom I’d parted on bad terms, and Kang Yi-chae, who’d witnessed our ugly scene.

The missed calls from Seo Ho-jin logged on my phone were too numerous to count on both hands.
And the accumulated messages were just as overwhelming.

[Younger Brother: Pick up the phone, will you?]

Three days had passed since that last message.

Yes, if I wasn’t losing my mind as the System Window suggested, then this guy was truly my younger brother.
Whether he had memories or not, whatever he looked like, whatever his personality was.
That fact remained unchanged.
The moment I’d unconsciously withdrawn my arm from Seo Ho-jin kept replaying in my mind at all hours.
I drafted and deleted messages dozens of times before finally sending just one.

[Me: Sorry lol]

Then I boarded the van heading to the Company and habitually plugged in my earbuds.
As I listened to music and stared blankly out the window, my phone vibrated in my hand.
It was Seo Ho-jin’s reply.

[Younger Brother: You suddenly contact me, send a bare apology, and somehow manage to piss me off. That’s a talent.]
[Younger Brother: Why do people live like this??]
[Younger Brother: Do you have any idea how worried I was????]

This bastard—probably because he thinks we’re the same age, his speech has grown increasingly casual and disrespectful.

[Younger Brother: But you’re not hurt anywhere, right?]

Still, thinking of how he’d deliberately chosen his words to avoid sounding too serious, a quiet laugh escaped me.

[Me: You focus on yourself]
[Younger Brother: Your personality is really something]

As a few more messages came through, the van pulled into the Company and finished parking.
I discussed with the Road Manager what time we’d return to the Dormitory, then made my way to Kang Yi-chae’s Work Studio.
Without hesitation, I opened the studio door that was naturally closed and stepped inside.

“Kang Yi-chae!”

Kang Yi-chae, awkwardly wearing headphones, looked startled.

“What, what? Why are you here, hyung?”

I strode over and gripped both armrests of the chair he was sitting in, trapping him as I spoke.

“I’m sorry.”
“…Huh?”

Then, brushing his bangs back from beneath his round, well-defined forehead, I spoke tenderly.

“You’ve put in so much effort this time too. I’m sorry for always making you clean up my messes whenever I’m a disaster.”

I didn’t know the details, but I could sense there was something going on, and it weighed on me. I worried I might have triggered some trauma of his.
Kang Yi-chae just stared at me, still bewildered.

“Our Yi-chae, you’re not hurt anywhere, are you?”
“Our… Yi-chae?”

I cupped his astonished face and examined it carefully from side to side.
His skin was smooth and soft—at least he seemed in better condition than I was, which brought me some relief.

‘Good.’

I shifted my expression, widening my eyes and softening my lips into a gentle curve. It was my signature look—the kind that naturally inspired trust.
Now that I’d finished my aftercare for my fellow group member, it was time to get to the real matter.

“Yi-chae, as you know, I have a rather delicate constitution.”
“…What?”

Kang Yi-chae’s eyes narrowed—the same Kang Yi-chae who’d seen a medical report stating I was so healthy I could practically fly, and had heard the doctor’s assessment.
His expression screamed: what kind of scheme is this?
But once you start something, you have to see it through.

“So occasionally, very occasionally, I might fall ill.”

The System Window had said no more loans were possible, but you never knew how life would unfold.
I had to become a first-string member no matter what, recover Seo Ho-jin’s memories, and ultimately take care of these rabbit-like members I’d admitted to caring about.
There was no way forward if I kept doing things like this.
I couldn’t hide everything and act forever.
So I decided to be a bit shameless about it.
Especially with Kang Yi-chae.
He was the one who’d always told others to rely on him a bit, and he was sensitive to anyone being sick. Besides, he’d witnessed most of my bad states anyway.

“If similar things happen in the future—.”

I’d barely gotten that far when Kang Yi-chae, catching my drift, gave me an exasperated look.

“—you want me to clean up after you?”
“That’s our Yi-chae. So sharp.”
“Are you insane?”
“You’re the only one I can trust.”

Kang Yi-chae pushed me back and let out a deep sigh.

“…I really hate you sometimes.”

Didn’t that sound more like he actually liked me?
Age truly couldn’t be deceived—he still had his innocent side.

“Yes, I’m sure you do.”
“….”

Kang Yi-chae, wearing a slightly tired expression, unwrapped a candy he always kept on hand and popped it into his mouth.

“Hyung, you’re really shameless and annoying. Not just me—all the members agreed. Ah, except for Ji-won hyung.”
“Is that so?”
“What exactly did you do to Ji-won hyung?”

I had no idea.
I was vaguely curious about what had captivated Sung Ji-won so thoroughly, but I let it slide for now.
Kang Yi-chae furrowed his brow sharply and muttered.

“I wish you’d experience some perspective for once, hyung. Only when I cough up blood and my spirit weakens will you understand my feelings. And someone who keeps causing chaos doesn’t understand our rabbit-like hearts.”

Instead of responding, I shrugged, and he stared intently at my face.

“…But the really worst part is, despite all that, I keep worrying about you.”

He clicked his tongue softly, then pulled a small box from a drawer positioned in one corner of the work studio and handed it to me.

“You still look precarious, hyung. Fans sent this through the company, and I checked it just in case. You should take a look at it later too.”

.
.
.

Leaving Kang Yi-chae to resume his work, I returned to the dormitory with the small box he’d given me.
The other members seemed to still be out at the practice room.
I used to find the constant bustle strange, but now the silence felt oddly uncomfortable.

While I was at Dae Pa-sung, I’d stopped by the Legal Department briefly.
They were already handling multiple lawsuits. Thanks to that, many photos of Seo Ho-jin had been deleted as well.
They said they’d handle everything without leniency.

Still, I was relieved that the situation seemed to be getting sorted out.
I’d checked later and found that Joo Woo-sung had also reached out.

[Joo Woo-sung: Hey]
[Joo Woo-sung: This is the method I used when my younger brother’s photos and personal information spread]
[Joo Woo-sung: For your reference]

It was all content I already knew, strung together endlessly.
I let out a soft chuckle and sent a reply.

[Me: You’re being nosy]
Joo Woo-sung: [middle finger gesture]

This good-hearted fool.
I genuinely worried whether he’d go around cosigning loans for people. It was quite a talent of his to make me fret like this.

I took off my coat, hung it on the rack, and sat on the bed to open the box.
Inside were nothing but letters from fans, packed to the brim.

[…Ho-yoon, you’re so handsome and beautiful, and it’s amazing that such a human being can exist in this world….]
[…How can your name even be Seo Ho-yoon?!….]
[…My little dancing machine Seo Ho-yoon.. the center of certainty.. and a face genius….]

I flipped through the letters one by one, each brimming with affection, smiling faintly, when one particularly lengthy letter caught my eye.
The deep pen pressure revealed traces of careful deliberation.

[Ho-yoon, hello!!]

The opening was a light greeting, like the other letters.
They mentioned how this was their first time writing such a letter, so they weren’t sure what to say; that this was the first time they’d felt this way about someone, so their heart was racing; that they hoped I’d understand even if they were clumsy.
That sort of sentiment continued.

[…—I’d never wished for anyone else’s happiness more than my own, but seeing you changed that.
Feeling this way toward an idol I’ve only seen a few times in reality, and even my own sense of self-worth changing because of it.
At first I was too embarrassed and brushed it off as a joke, but now I can’t do that anymore, so my friends tease me every time.
Yet I’m not ashamed at all. Somewhere along the way, you became something immense within me.]

As I read through the plainly written words, I found myself gradually drawn deeper into the letter’s content.

[Whenever I see you, I feel how fiercely you’ve lived.
But sometimes I wish you’d understand. People can’t always keep running.
We can’t spend every day overflowing with love.
Sometimes it’s hard, and curses slip out, and things are difficult.
Yet tomorrow comes whether we wish for it or not.
Some days are almost unbearably hard, and sometimes things are fine, but very occasionally, I find myself looking forward to the sun rising again.]

It seemed she was carefully dancing around my current situation with circumspect words.
The corners of my mouth stiffened slightly.

[I wish your life could be consistently happy, but I know it can’t be.
Since I’m merely another person, I can’t truly know how you feel in those moments. I can only guess.
Still, wherever you are and whatever you do, I hope your days are always filled with joy.
I will remain in the same place, believing in you and cheering you on without wavering.]

The final passage was written in neat, deliberate handwriting, wishing for my happiness.

[I hope you find delight in the cool breeze that suddenly greets you, that you laugh easily at even trivial jokes, and that days where you’re grateful for the chance to meet such moments continue to come.

Whichever path you take, I hope it’s filled with verdant meadows and flowers.
And may that path be filled with nothing but love.

To our beloved Ho-yoon,
Noel, cheering for you from a distance.]

I traced the letter with my fingertips before slowly reading through it again from the beginning.
Her affection dripped from every single character.
At the same time, I understood why Yi-chae had gathered these letters and delivered them to me.
Just as Yi-chae often said, it seemed she wanted to show me this way that I wasn’t alone.
That there were so many people who worried about me and cared for me.

My feelings were complicated.
Idol activities had only ever been a means to return to my original world.
Yet somewhere along the way, both The Dun and Noel had become precious to me.
These were the people who comforted me when I was struggling.
But I had no confidence I could repay them.

“What a shame….”

It might be a rather pathetic thought, but once all scenarios end and I complete the Quest, even this fan will forget about me, so it should be fine, right?

“She’ll come to like someone better than me.”

I carefully organized the letters and placed them neatly in a drawer.
Faint moonlight filtered through the window of my bedroom.

Just as Kang Yi-chae said, I couldn’t shake this unpleasant feeling that clung to me.
My younger brother’s personal information had spread nationwide, and on top of that, he’d lost his memory.
Whenever I thought about the days ahead that I’d have to navigate alone, my breath came in suffocating gasps.
But I couldn’t afford to sit here like an idiot and wallow.
Like a letter already written, tomorrow would come whether I wished for it or not.

“Let’s finish this before the year ends.”

Dawn was approaching.

—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————