The Murderous Duke's Domestic Affairs - Chapter 65

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 65
The day of the Winter Gathering had arrived. Surrendering myself to Lise and Anna’s careful hands, I exhaled softly. Ever since that day I’d touched Aster Veil Lilywood’s face, I found it difficult to meet his gaze. When we’d encountered each other in his Office, he appeared entirely unaffected, so surely I was the only one unsettled. The sighs that wouldn’t cease were undoubtedly for that reason.
“Don’t be so nervous.”
Lise spoke in a gentle voice as she applied fragrant oil to the ends of my hair and brushed it down. I appeared nervous, it seemed. In a way, it was natural for Lise to think so—given how anxious I’d been heading to the Ball and the tea with the Empress. Yet strangely, I felt no nervousness at all. Perhaps my mind was too full of thoughts of Aster. I furrowed my brow and laughed softly. The smile reflected back at me in the mirror somehow resembled the way Aster smiled.
Father and Mother had similar smiles too. Actually, it wasn’t just their smiles. They were such a devoted couple that a mere glance could convey understanding between them. Honestly, in my childhood, I’d dreamed of a marriage like theirs. But I couldn’t imagine that Aster and I could become like my parents. Of course, if we could, it would be wonderful, but between us existed necessity before love.
I cared for Aster. Yet caring for him alone could accomplish nothing. What if I were a different person? If I were even half as honest with my emotions as Delania Siaz was. If I could say that I’d harbored him in my heart from that distant day long ago.
But I quickly erased even that thought. No matter how many hypotheticals I constructed in my mind, some things remained unchanged. I was still afraid to speak my heart aloud. I could never be Delania Siaz. I’d thought my affection for him had become merely a memory, but I couldn’t say that I simply couldn’t help but admire him still because he remained such an admirable person.
If I could only be of use to him. For now, that was enough. And it would remain so. I couldn’t hope for Aster to feel the same way toward me.
* * *
Yet why was he standing here?
I gazed quietly at Aster Veil Lilywood before me. Despite the winter season, he wore only a coat over his shirt—hardly enough for the cold, yet he didn’t appear to be suffering from it. Rather, he blended naturally into the snow-covered landscape.
Last time when I went to meet the Empress, he’d said he would return from his Office. So I’d assumed he would do the same this time, but Aster wasn’t at his Office.
I’d prepared with ample time to spare, but I had no time to wait for him when I didn’t know when he’d return. Since we’d exchanged greetings last night, I supposed that would suffice. I smiled wryly and descended toward the Main Gate where the carriage awaited. Yet there, Aster was waiting for me.
It was Letti Torres who spotted me first. Even against the expanse of white snow, his crimson hair caught the eye from his elevated position. The childlike way he raised his hand high and waved at me. At his gesture, Aster Veil Lilywood turned to look at me. A smile played at one corner of his lips, higher than the other, coloring his cold features with warmth.
There had been times when that smile frightened me because of the rumors calling him a “murderer.” That wasn’t so long ago. I’d only met him again in summer. Summer had passed into autumn, and now winter had arrived. Yet that brief span of time had been enough to realize that the “murderer Aster Veil Lilywood” was nothing like the rumors suggested. I returned his smile. His deep green eyes widened slightly.
He approached me. His pace was neither hurried nor slow. Yet my heart raced fiercely. There was no help for it. I whispered to myself. Setting aside the rumors of “murderer” and the fondness young me had harbored for him, even from an objective perspective, Aster was an exceptional man.
His tall stature, the broad shoulders and slender waist characteristic of a swordsman, his low and pleasant voice. His long golden hair, worn loose, gleamed like a lion’s mane beneath sunlight, while his green eyes—the color of poisonous plants grown in shadow—regarded me with a composed light. His high nose bridge, perfectly harmonizing with those strong eyes, and his full, red lips needed no mention.
What woman wouldn’t fall for him? Looking up at Aster now standing before me, I sighed quietly to myself. Perhaps the rumors calling him a “murderer” were a blessing. Without them, he, a high-ranking nobleman and Duke, would surely have married already. Thanks to those rumors, wasn’t I able to stand at his side?
But I immediately let out a hollow laugh. What was I even thinking? I knew well how much he’d suffered because of those rumors. Aster, unaware of such thoughts, merely tilted his head slightly and looked down at me.
“What brings you here?”
I hadn’t meant to, but my tone came out accusatory. It seemed I’d been somewhat disappointed that he hadn’t seen me off last time. Whether Aster shared the same thought, his smile took on a bitter edge. Though it might have been my imagination.
“There’s a noisy fellow complaining that I don’t even see people off properly.”
His smile regained its original light. He gestured with his chin toward Letti Torres behind me. The gesture was almost playful. I turned my gaze to where his chin pointed. There stood Letti Torres, grinning widely. It seemed he’d been nagging Aster about it. I lowered my head and laughed. He was truly thoughtful.
“If you have time, would you like to take a walk?”
At his quiet voice, I glanced back at Calvin Stewart standing behind me. Calvin withdrew his pocket watch, checked the time, and nodded. How fortunate. Yet the moment I thought that, I felt a slight shock. I was grateful to have time to spend with him before departing? It seemed I’d already forgotten how unsettled I’d been at seeing him.
I took the hand Aster Veil Lilywood extended and carefully made my way forward. The rear Garden had been cleared of snow, but the small garden in front of the Estate still lay blanketed in white. It couldn’t be helped. The Estate was large, but we had far too few servants. I wished we could hire additional help, but both Calvin and Aster had refused when I’d broached the subject—their refusal was so firm that I felt embarrassed for even suggesting it.
Yet this was the result. When the burden fell too heavily on each individual servant, neglected corners inevitably appeared. It would be nice if we could hire temporary help. As my gaze swept across the garden, I stole a glance at Aster walking silently beside me. His face was expressionless, revealing nothing of his thoughts.
“It must have been a long time since you’ve gone somewhere with many people.”
After remaining silent for some time, he finally spoke, and a sudden cold wind swept past. His voice was so quiet it seemed to scatter on that wind, yet it reached my ears with almost painful clarity. Perhaps because I couldn’t tear my gaze from him. Even as I thought this, I slowly nodded toward him. As the Duke’s wife, appearing in public was something I hadn’t done since the Imperial Ball last autumn, aside from that. Of course, many invitations had arrived from various quarters.
Fortunately for me, he too was not particularly fond of appearing before others. When he’d said I didn’t need to accept invitations if I didn’t wish to, I’d disregarded them all. Even ignoring them had been quite difficult for me, but since Aster said it was fine, I could only hope it was.
I found it difficult to face unfamiliar people. Aster knew this well about me. Moreover, I’d collapsed before him several times already. Even if it wasn’t entirely a matter of shyness, I couldn’t say I didn’t understand his concern.
“It has been a long time. But I’ll be fine.”
As if speaking to myself, I murmured the words. It was time I was fine. I couldn’t indefinitely neglect the duties of a Duke’s wife under the excuse of shyness. My conversations with Aster had been only about administrative matters, but that didn’t change the fact that I was a Duke’s wife.
I lifted my head and smiled at Aster Veil Lilywood. He kept his lips firmly closed, looking down at me. At his serious expression, which seemed to say I didn’t need to push myself, my racing heart slowly began to find its natural rhythm. A thought suddenly occurred to me, and my blood ran cold.
I didn’t quite understand why he wore such an expression. Whether I was nervous or afraid of people, that had nothing to do with him. Even if I was his wife, it was a relationship born of necessity. Yet I couldn’t voice those words aloud. Even knowing it in my mind, speaking it would define our relationship.
It was only natural. After all, I was the one who’d come to him asking to be taken as his wife because I could be useful. Still, I didn’t want to dredge up such talk and watch his expression grow cold. Not now. Not yet. My lips trembled at words I couldn’t bring myself to speak.
“I just wanted to say—don’t push yourself.”
I want to know what you’re thinking. Why did you come to see me off? Why do you worry about me? I turned my body toward him. Aster, whom I thought was looking at me, had been gazing at the snow-covered garden for some time. Like someone reaching for something nostalgic, he was examining every corner of the garden. For some reason, his eyes looked pained, so I drew out a voice that seemed reluctant to emerge.
“I’m not pushing myself.”
At my small but clear voice, eyes like poisonous plants grown in shadow—a settled green—looked directly at me. After regarding me that way for some time, he smiled gently. The angles of both corners of his mouth were perfectly symmetrical. A smile that was faint but genuine, neither bitter nor mocking, simply as it was. So he knew how to smile like that. I drew in a small breath.
“…Yes. That’s how it should be. That’s the only way.”
You’re a strong person, after all.
His voice reached my ears like a whisper, barely audible. His eyes curved into a gentle arc. I froze, my breath catching. Today, I seemed to be taking in so many new facets of Aster—like a boy bathed in sunlight, radiant and luminous.
“I just wanted to say something like that.”
With those words, Aster fell silent.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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