The Murderous Duke's Domestic Affairs - Chapter 42

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 42
The sound of even breathing made me turn to look at the man lying on the long chair. On a seat far too short for his height, Aster Veil Lilywood had curled up on his side, gripping my hand tightly. His warm, large hand was unfamiliar to me, yet I found his warmth not unpleasant. His sleeping face, which usually appeared so fierce, was softer and gentler than I expected. Almost like a different person entirely.
Though perhaps calling him a different person would be inaccurate. I knew Aster’s face when he smiled softly and tenderly. With merely the ferocity erased from his eyes and a faint curve added to his lips, he resembled that boy from that day.
After briefly indulging in my private memories, I smiled faintly and returned my gaze to the documents. Though Aster hadn’t released my hand, making things slightly inconvenient, it wasn’t so much that I couldn’t work. Besides, I had no desire to wake someone sleeping so soundly by moving carelessly. Ah, I should check the mansion’s floor plan later and prepare a bedroom for Aster so he could rest comfortably. This vast estate had countless unused rooms, aside from the Forbidden Zone.
After signing several more documents and setting them aside, I heard a knock. Had time passed so quickly? The door opened without my answering. As always, Letti Torres slid smoothly into the office.
“Good morning—”
At his cheerful voice, I quickly brought my index finger to my lips. His blue eyes widened as our gazes met. Seeing him unable to finish his greeting, I found myself smiling bitterly despite myself.
“What is the meaning of this?”
“What do you mean?”
“The Commander is sleeping?”
Even as he expressed his bewilderment, Letti Torres whispered in a deliberately lowered voice, clearly knowing better than to wake Aster. Was this really something so remarkable? Noticing the question in my gaze, Letti Torres furrowed his brow and smiled wryly.
“Is that so strange?”
“The Commander’s insomnia is a chronic condition of long standing.”
“Since the battlefield?”
Letti Torres laughed dryly.
“Yes, it’s been that long.”
Letti Torres, who answered vaguely, quietly took his seat. As always, his desk was stacked with official correspondence, so sorting through it was his first task of the day. His hands, which would normally move with practiced speed, remained still. My gaze shifted back to Letti Torres. Seated at his desk, he stared blankly at Aster Veil Lilywood. His blue eyes seemed unfocused, much like they had been recently.
“Letti Torres?”
At my quiet voice, Letti Torres startled and came to his senses. I asked if he was alright, but he merely answered with meaningless words.
“Ah, yes?”
“Is something wrong? Why do you seem so distracted?”
“Was I?”
Letti Torres seemed completely unaware that he had been staring blankly. I muttered that he was acting strange and blinked. I wondered if there was something wrong with his health, but fortunately it didn’t seem so. Still, just to be safe, I told him to see a doctor. Letti Torres laughed that it wasn’t necessary, but one cannot guarantee health so easily.
At any rate, Letti Torres opened his mouth.
“When do you expect the Commander to wake?”
“He looks so exhausted that I’d like to let him sleep longer, but since Jasmine Aloria is coming this afternoon, I should wake him before then.”
“Jasmine Aloria is coming?”
Letti Torres hadn’t known either. Though that was natural enough, since I had only received word this morning myself. I told Letti Torres about the invitation I had seen this morning. He listened to my explanation while quickly sorting through the letters.
“So I told him to rest for a while.”
“I see. Still, it is rather remarkable.”
“What is?”
“That he can sleep like this.”
Letti Torres murmured while glancing at Aster Veil Lilywood. Indeed, this mansion where he had lived all his life didn’t even have a bedroom for Aster Veil Lilywood. It was a chronic condition dating back to the battlefield, as he said. According to what Calvin Stewart told me, he doesn’t even eat properly. It seems to be more than just a matter of being busy. What could be the cause? Trauma, perhaps? Can it not be healed?
The soldiers who came to the Siaz Territory for recuperation gradually improved by basking in sunlight, moving their bodies, engaging in pastimes, and sharing what happened in the war. How would Aster fare? Ah, come to think of it, was Letti Torres alright? He seemed to have been on the front lines with Aster as well. Perhaps that’s why he loses focus in an instant. One cannot say someone is healthy simply because they have no visible wounds. It seems Letti Torres should also undergo an examination.
But it’s not appropriate to bring that up right now. After all, I’ve only known Aster Veil Lilywood and Letti Torres for a short time. The two of them were together on the battlefield, it seems. Less than ten years have passed since the war ended. It’s not my place to speak of such matters, having only met them a few months ago.
“He seemed unable to sleep well lately, so it’s good that he’s resting.”
Letti Torres, who knew Aster Veil Lilywood’s chronic insomnia better than anyone, murmured with a somewhat relieved smile as he gazed at his friend and superior. Unable to find words to respond, I simply nodded silently.
* * *
Aster Veil Lilywood, who slept so deeply that my conversation with Letti Torres didn’t disturb him, opened his eyes just before noon. Even his fierce eyes, like poisonous plants growing in shadow, seemed gentle, perhaps because traces of sleep still clung to them. I found myself smiling without thinking.
“…Why?”
“It’s nothing. Did you sleep well? You look like some of the fatigue has lifted.”
Aster Veil Lilywood asked curtly upon noticing my gaze. His hand swept through his hair with a rough motion, but perhaps because he hadn’t fully awakened, it didn’t appear as sharp as usual.
He didn’t answer my question in return, but I decided to be satisfied with the fact that the deep shadows beneath his eyes had faded. I couldn’t exactly force someone plagued by trauma-induced insomnia back to bed. Besides, despite Aster’s own assessment that he wasn’t good at work, he possessed a strong sense of responsibility—one that prevented him from truly resting when faced with pressing duties. A brief respite like this would hardly be enough, but I chose to count my blessings.
“You’ve woken at just the right time. It’s lunchtime.”
“I suppose… I’m not particularly hungry.”
Having just woken, his appetite seemed absent. Yet I couldn’t allow him to skip a meal. Rising from my seat, I extended my hand to him. Aster furrowed his brows and stared intently at my outstretched hand.
“Let’s have lunch together.”
I offered him a bright smile. Aster rubbed his eyes and released a small sigh.
“Go ahead. I’ll just wash up and join you.”
“You must come. I’ll wait for you.”
With those words, I left the Office. Beyond the closing door, the neat hem of my navy skirt disappeared from view. As my footsteps faded into the distance, Aster leaned back against the long chair and drew a deep breath. He lifted his hand to eye level, clenching and unclenching his fist. Staring at his own hand, his brows furrowed and his lips twisted.
Insomnia was an old and bitter companion. It tormented him relentlessly, never knowing when to depart. He endured through coffee and alcohol, and when that no longer sufficed, he would lean back in the long chair and sleep for brief stretches—perhaps thirty minutes at most. But today was different.
Lauren had asked if I’d slept well upon waking. She said the fatigue seemed to have lifted somewhat. I hadn’t answered her question, yet her words rang true. For the first time in ages, I had slept deeply and soundly. The nightmares that always found me—today, they hadn’t gnawed at me.
Why was that? I stared at my own hand. The warmth still seemed to linger there. Aster tightened his clenched fist, wanting desperately to grasp again the source of that warmth.
How foolish.
I had long understood that the world didn’t bend to my will. So I simply let everything go. Even when something precious came into my life, I failed to recognize its value. Only when the one who had stolen everything from me spoke her name did I belatedly awaken to the truth.
Lauren was incomprehensible. I had thought to distance myself from her, yet found it impossible. I couldn’t bring myself to refuse the hand she offered. Her hand was far too warm.
The endless nightmare from which I could never escape—even that couldn’t torment me when I fell asleep holding her hand. As if her warmth protected me. If I slept at her side, nightmares wouldn’t dare approach. That alone was reason enough to covet her.
Aster covered his eyes with his hand and let out a hollow laugh. I claimed I didn’t want her to be hurt, yet now I only wished to hold her close. Even as I believed it right to return her to her proper place, I couldn’t bear to let her leave my sight. In the end, I was simply this selfish.
Foolish and selfish both.
Swallowing back the mockery that threatened to spill forth, Aster rose to his feet. Any further hesitation and I would truly be late. Lauren said she would wait for me. Though the sight of food made nausea rise in my throat, I couldn’t make her wait.
He opened a door on one side of the Office. Beyond it lay a modest bedroom with an attached bathroom. His father had rested here during busy periods.
The image of his father’s smiling face, saying he didn’t want to wake his sleeping mother from this bed, flashed through his mind, and he shook his head vigorously. Staring quietly down at the bed, Aster turned and entered the bathroom, shutting the door with a sharp bang.
He plunged his face into the sink filled with cold water. It was merely the lingering drowsiness. Forgotten memories surged back like a flood, unwanted recollections kept surfacing, and he found himself desperately wanting to grasp what he shouldn’t.
I had to regain my composure. I had to become cold and rational. Aster submerged his face in the water again and again. With each immersion in the ice-cold water, his mind grew clearer. Gripping the edge of the sink, he stared into the mirror. His long hair dripped with water. In the mirror’s reflection, his sunken green eyes blazed with a fierce light, glaring back at him.
“Get yourself together, Aster.”
Aster spoke to his reflection in the mirror. After staring at his pallid face for a long moment, he finally turned away. He emerged into the bedroom wearing the towel Calvin, the Duke’s faithful butler, had thoughtfully placed within reach, draped over his wet hair. He removed his damp shirt and draped it over the nightstand. Water glistened on his well-defined bare body.
Aster dried himself with hurried motions, then opened the wardrobe and pulled out a fresh shirt, throwing it on carelessly. He couldn’t bring himself to use the bed his father had once slept in, but everything else he made good use of. He hadn’t meant to smile, yet as he glanced around the room, his lips naturally twisted. He couldn’t fathom what foolish thing he was doing.
There was no time for sentiment now. Nor should there be. Aster quickly dried the remaining moisture from his hair and fastened his shirt buttons. With one final sweep of the room, he took heavy steps toward the door. Only after his shadow had left the bedroom did the door close firmly behind him, as if it had never been opened.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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