The Forgotten Field - Chapter 158
—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————
Chapter 158
By then, the sun had already set.
How many hours had passed since I left the bedroom?
I gazed up at the deep sky beyond the window, gauging the time, then quickened my pace along the torch-lit corridor.
Knowing that she regarded me as a jailer, I tried not to show my anxiety, yet my nerves remained taut like those of a man who had left behind a prisoner liable to escape at any moment.
I soon exited the corridor and descended the staircase.
It was then that Darian, his footsteps heavy and urgent, caught up with me.
“Your Grace, I understand your frustration, but… are you truly certain it’s wise to speak to the Emperor’s messenger in such a manner? What if he relays your words exactly as you spoke them?”
“Did you not hear what I said?”
Barcas replied flatly, his gaze fixed straight ahead.
“I intend to report the matter to him directly myself.”
“…His Majesty made that proposal out of goodwill toward you, Your Grace.”
Barcas halted his descent and turned to face him.
The man continued, his tone persuasive.
“Was this not a marriage forced upon you at the Empress’s insistence? His Majesty likely seeks to correct that mistake with this opportunity. He anticipated that you would find it difficult to make such a request yourself, and out of consideration, he broached the subject first…”
“Consideration?”
Barcas ascended one step, bringing himself to eye level with the man, and spoke slowly.
“You call it consideration to suggest I confine to a monastery a woman who nearly died bearing my child?”
The man’s thick throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, his discomfort evident as he averted his gaze.
“I too find this matter regrettable. However…”
“If you find it regrettable…”
Barcas leaned his face close to the man’s and spoke in a low voice.
“Then hold your tongue. How many knights have fallen by their lord’s hand for reckless words? Let us not add your name to that long list.”
“Your Grace.”
As I turned to descend the stairs again, the man hastily seized my shoulder.
Barcas fixed him with a cold stare. Darian flinched as if pierced by that gaze and withdrew his hand, then released a weary sigh.
“Negative talk regarding the Grand Duchess is circulating among your retainers. If you continue to respond as you have been, it will not be long before the Eastern Nobility Alliance makes the same demand as His Majesty. Surely you do not intend to execute every retainer who offers counsel out of concern for the Grand Duchy’s future?”
When he received no response, the man continued in a more forceful tone.
“You have held your title for less than a year, Your Grace. Now is precisely the time to demonstrate your leadership decisively. The ruler of the Eastern Territories cannot indefinitely concern himself with the affairs of a witless woman…”
“Darian.”
Barcas interrupted the Young Aide with a gentle voice. Whatever the man saw in his eyes caused his rambling face to stiffen.
Barcas gazed quietly at that pallid countenance and spoke calmly.
“It has been merely over a month since tragedy befell my wife and me.”
“…”
“So cease your whining like a child. Despite your incessant complaints, I have not neglected a single essential duty as Grand Duke. The fault lies with all of you for being utterly unhelpful.”
The man, finding no words to counter, fell silent, and Barcas slowly turned away.
As I passed through the corridor connecting to the Main Castle and reached the door to my bedroom, the soldier standing guard in the hallway stiffened and offered a salute.
Barcas passed him and pushed the door open immediately.
For a moment, my head grew hazy. As I inhaled the thick air—a mixture of stale smoke and sweet fragrance—my already blurred vision seemed to sink beneath water.
When was the last time I had closed my eyes in sleep?
It had been at least two days. And that was counting only the hour or so of sleep he’d managed. He was beginning to suspect his body had reached its limit.
Barcas diagnosed his physical condition with detached indifference, and as his vision cleared, he closed the door behind him and stepped into the chamber.
“Has anything happened?”
He directed the question at the Handmaiden standing by the Fireplace, and the frozen girl released her voice in a barely audible whisper.
“N-no, nothing at all has occurred.”
“Has she eaten?”
“Y-yes, she finished a bowl of rice porridge a short while ago. After that, she took the medicine the Healer prepared and has been sleeping since.”
He approached the bedside and looked down at his wife buried beneath the quilts.
Her face and neck were as pallid as someone who had never known sunlight in her entire life, with strands of golden hair clinging like cobwebs. He reached out to brush them away, then withdrew his hand.
She had been sleeping poorly of late. Fearing he might disturb her rest, he dismissed the young Handmaiden with a mere nod of his head. The anxious girl, searching his expression for approval, carefully withdrew from the Bedroom.
Barcas walked to the Fireplace and placed a piece of jade on the dancing flames. Then he carelessly discarded his outer robe and filled the basin with water to wash his hands, when a fading voice reached him from behind.
“How much longer….”
Barcas turned his head over his shoulder and found his wife gazing at him distantly, his brow furrowing.
The woman, whose lips were crusted with dried blood, worked her jaw and released her voice like something crumbling to dust.
“How much longer will you cling to my side?”
It took several seconds for him to comprehend the meaning of her words.
He picked up the towel and answered with utter composure, as though receiving an unremarkable question.
“Until you recover.”
The woman stared at him blankly, and a sound like air escaping emerged from her lips.
“You want me to recover?”
Barcas caught the sarcasm woven through her words and regarded her quietly. The woman bore a desolate smile, her eyes glinting like shattered glass. Yet because her eyes glistened with moisture, she appeared only hollow and pitiful.
Unaware of the expression on her own face, the woman poured out bitter words.
“But what can I do? As long as you remain at my side, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to recover….”
Her barbed voice scraped across something deep within him. Yet that sharp sensation never reached his dulled consciousness, scattering like smoke instead.
Barcas, chasing that distant sensation, closed his eyes tightly, then opened them.
There was no need to dwell on words carelessly spilled. This woman simply needed an outlet to pour out her emotions.
Repeating this to himself, he turned to leave as though nothing had happened, when his lips—beyond the reach of reason—uttered a dry question.
“Why….”
The woman looked at him with vacant eyes. Her lips moved without her realizing what she was asking.
“Why can’t I recover if you’re here?”
For a moment, the woman appeared to have forgotten what to say, her face contorting faintly. Soon after, painful breathing emerged, as though she were expelling something caught in her throat.
“Looking at you causes me pain.”
In that instant, all thought came to a halt.
Her deep blue eyes, which had dominated one corner of his consciousness for so long, seemed to drag him into a dark and bottomless place.
“So let’s end this now.”
She continued as though murmuring to herself.
“Anywhere is fine. Send me somewhere I cannot see you. I… want to forget everything now.”
Like a statue frozen in place, he suddenly grasped his collar roughly, as though choking.
Those lips that had always spoken hollow words without meaning. They were not worth heeding.
Barcas, pulling down the buttons of his shirt, spoke coldly.
“You cannot go anywhere.”
The words spilled out rougher than I intended, and a shadow of fear flickered across her face. Under ordinary circumstances, I would have contemplated ways to erase it. But now, I felt no inclination to soothe her.
I wanted her to be afraid. So afraid that she would never dare voice such a demand again.
—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————