The Baby Who Regressed Refuses Childcare - Chapter 151

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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“Diego, am I a breeding stallion? Have I become nothing more than a tool to produce princes…?”

“Sandra.”

“Don’t drink tea, don’t eat food carelessly.”

The servants restricted everything about Alexandra.

Greasy foods were too greasy, sweet foods were too sweet to eat.

“Who on earth said such things! Was it the Butler? Or the Dowager Empress? I’ll go right now and confront them, so they’ll never dare say such things again…”

“I feel exactly like a beast! A beast whose only purpose in life is to feed its young!”

These were the knees that had been fine even when sitting in chairs all night during her days as Chief Justice.

Those same knees now ached as if winter wind was blowing through them even when still.

That wasn’t all.

Her hands and feet went numb constantly, and sweat poured from her body all day long.

There had been several times when lying in bed caused her breath to catch and brought on breathing difficulties.

‘I might die at this rate.’

Due to sores that appeared in her mouth for no reason, she couldn’t chew or swallow hard foods.

But even with such a body, she had to visit the Crown Prince’s Palace eight times a day.

“Should I be glad that at least you’re happy…?”

When nursing and looking at the baby’s face, tears and laughter came simultaneously.

One day, the Imperial Physician said:

“Empress, since you gave birth at such a late age…”

He said this while squeezing out a pus pocket that had formed inside Alexandra’s molars.

Her feelings at that moment – she wondered if it would be better if this were a disease.

If it were simply something broken somewhere in her body.

Because then, at least it could be fixed.

But the body that had been damaged bringing Edward into the world wasn’t like that.

When it might get better, how much it could improve.

Or whether it was even supposed to get better at all.

No one gave her a definitive answer.

Alexandra’s entire daily life had suddenly, completely turned upside down.

Eating abundant meals until full, being able to bite into candy with all her might.

Sitting in chairs reading books all afternoon, strolling through busy districts.

Things she had done naturally before were now impossible.

Among all of these, there was one thing she missed with particular aching.

When working as Chief Justice, after finishing work, she would chat with fellow judges late into the night.

Afterward, she would return home while admiring the beautiful nighttime cityscape.

‘Just once would be enough…’

She wanted to return to that night, to that path again.

“You should be grateful. Do you think it’s easy to make a child born at that age into Crown Prince?”

But the Dowager Empress at the time was not pleased with such an Alexandra.

The reason was that she had no obedient qualities whatsoever.

That wasn’t the only thing that gnawed at her.

“Your Majesty. Stop that crying. You should be thankful you became Empress even at a late age, but there’s a reason why we speak of ‘the right time,’ isn’t there?”

“…Father? What do you mean by that?”

Her father, Minerva Duke, who had come to visit the Empress’ Palace, spoke while looking at Alexandra lying sick in bed.

“I told you to arrange a marriage from 20 years ago. It was the Empress who stubbornly insisted on studying law when it was pointless.”

“Father!”

“There is an appropriate time for marriage and for bearing heirs. The reason the Empress is suffering now is because you missed that time.”

“…”

“So stop being dramatic. If you want to live, become strong.”

“…”

“The Imperial Consorts are still younger and healthier than the Empress. Who knows when they might produce princes to threaten the Empress and Crown Prince. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

They hadn’t been particularly close normally.

But he was still her father.

Though they had clashed over everything until she became independent from the Duke’s House.

She had trusted and followed the father who raised her and her two older brothers alone without their mother.

The words thrown at her as she lay like a corpse cut like blades.

Alexandra wept for a long time in the room after the Duke left.

Tears she lacked the strength to wipe flowed down her cheeks, soaking her ears and neck completely.

Was it because her vision had deteriorated after childbirth?

When looking at the ceiling, she kept seeing strange things.

Things like misfortune, despair, and sadness.

Alexandra repeated and thought countless times.

What had her past life been?

Her past life, if she had to compare it, was like a solidly built castle.

Building pillars, placing roofs on them.

She had poured her heart and soul into every part that her hands could reach.

As a result, everyone acknowledged her castle.

The castle she had dared to secretly rejoice over, thinking it could be called a masterpiece with just a little more work.

The castle that was her everything, her very life itself.

That castle had been crumbling since some point.

Slowly, and completely.

Was that why?

Every time she looked in the mirror, Alexandra bit her lips until they bled.

It wasn’t just because of her ruined appearance.

What made her despair was the disappearance of herself.

Chief Justice Alexandra, who had planned to establish an innovative legal system.

Alexandra who had been confident, vibrant, and capable.

Alexandra who had been healthy, who had lived and breathed.

The self she had known had disappeared from the world.

“Everyone goes through this. Control yourself.”

So one day, such thoughts occurred to her.

Am I really the problem?

Why am I the only one having such a hard time?

But the conclusion she reached with difficulty gave her no comfort at all.

In the end, everything had been Alexandra’s own choice.

Accepting Diego’s proposal, deciding to become Empress.

Deciding to have a child so late – it had all been her decision.

But she hadn’t expected everything to be this overwhelming.

Because no one had told her.

Alexandra withered away like that in the luxurious Empress’ Palace.

Perhaps it was an inevitable result.

“This is terrible! Crown Prince is running a high fever…”

“Your Majesty! Another civil war has broken out in the Empire’s borderlands!”

At some point, even the trivial problems in daily life began to feel like they were all her fault.

The Crown Prince falling ill.

Civil wars breaking out in the Empire’s borderlands.

It was Alexandra’s sin for not properly caring for the child, and the Empress’s sin for not properly assisting the Emperor.

Alexandra was frustrated.

When there are difficult and painful days, there should be at least one happy and joyful day.

But somehow, life wasn’t like that.

Both body and mind only sank deeper, as if fallen into an inescapable swamp.

“…Diego. I no longer want to live.”

These were the words Alexandra spoke when Edward was just beginning to walk.

Alexandra still remembered Diego’s despairing expression from that time.

“He told me to return to the courtroom.”

Looking at the calm Dowager Empress, I lowered my gaze.

“He said he didn’t marry me to kill me. That he couldn’t bear to watch me deteriorate any longer.”

“…So you went back?”

The Dowager Empress nodded.

“There was tremendous opposition. Until then, no one could even imagine an Empress doing anything other than state affairs.”

“Then how…”

“It was possible because Diego was firm. He said anyone who opposed would be treated as committing treason, claiming they didn’t care if the Empress was harmed.”

I nodded.

I could tell without seeing how precarious the Dowager Empress’s situation was at that time.

“The tears that flowed even when I stayed still… when I returned to the courtroom, those tears stopped. Strangely enough.”

“…”

“When I began writing the legal code again, which had been a long-held dream, I became remarkably healthy again.”

A faint smile spread across the Dowager Empress’s lips.

“…It felt like being alive, and I felt relief that I had finally found my place.”

I unconsciously looked at the legal code placed on the desk.

The Dowager Empress, noticing my gaze, added.

“Yes. This is that legal code. It took six years to complete.”

The Dowager Empress was actively engaged as Chief Justice.

During that time, the Former Dowager Empress passed away, and many things changed.

“The legal system was stabilized through the legal code. Later, the power of law and trials grew stronger. More and more people who suffered injustices due to low status or lack of power were rescued.”

“…”

“It was truly interesting. The sense of fulfillment was beyond words. Come to think of it, that day was the same. I was reviewing cases in the courtroom as usual when…”

The Dowager Empress slowly lowered her eyes.

“A butler burst in and told me. That Edward had been the target of an assassination attempt.”

The Dowager Empress’s fist clenched tightly on the table trembled.

“Someone had put a venomous insect in Edward’s bedding. When I went to the Crown Prince’s Palace, Edward was foaming at the mouth and scratching his entire body.”

The hives that started from the bite had already covered the Emperor’s entire body.

A moan that seemed ready to break at any moment flowed from the Dowager Empress’s lips.

“He was just a child. Barely over seven years old… just a young child…”

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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