SSS-Class Sui**de Hunter - Chapter 64

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Episode 64. The Great Battle Between Orthodoxy and Demonism (3)
3
Even as the world collapsed, the two martial artists refused to stop fighting.
That alone would have been enough to leave us speechless—but there was something far more shocking to witness.
It was how they fought.
“A scholar does not choose his brush, nor a warrior his blade.”
The Heavenly Demon called out to the Murim Alliance Leader.
In her hand, she still wielded a wooden stick.
“Though this seat had the misfortune of forgetting the Bloodthirsty Demon Sword and came bearing the Demonic Whip instead, I am more than capable of sending an old codger like you to the grave.”
“Hah!”
The Murim Alliance Leader raised his whip and let out a spirited cry.
“Then let us test our mettle and see who shall finally unite the Murim!”
And so the two warriors clashed.
Though perhaps “clashed” was too grand a word for it.
What they displayed was nothing more—and nothing less—than a common brawl.
“Heavenly Demon’s Lordly Step!”
“Hmph! Yellow Halberd Breaks Heaven!”
The Heavenly Demon and the Murim Alliance Leader shouted their technique names grandly as they engaged. But grandeur was all in the words.
What they held in their hands were mere whips, and the sound those whips made as they met was less a crack of martial power than a cheerful snap.
Snap! Snap! Snap!
Within moments, the whips tore. Then the Heavenly Demon and the Murim Alliance Leader went at each other with eyes bulging—she seizing his beard, he tearing at her hair.
I was rendered speechless.
“This is… what exactly…?”
It was absurdity upon absurdity.
As we all stood bewildered,
—This is strange, though.
The Backhoe Spirit displayed a peculiar reaction.
—Their stance is solid, I’ll grant them that.
‘What?’
—Their forms and breathing are precise. Even by my standards, they’re masters of the highest order.
I turned back to watch the duel. The Murim Alliance Leader was trying to jab the Heavenly Demon in the eyes, and she was desperately shielding her face with both hands.
‘That move?’
—Don’t you see the subtlety? That eye-jab carries the principle of the divine dragon’s claws seizing the pearl from the malevolent dragon—one might call it Twin Dragons Contending for Pearl. And her shielding of the face holds the meaning of a Buddha descending into the present world, tenderly cradling each being’s countenance—that would be the Thousand-Form Guanyin. But—
The Backhoe Spirit’s explanation continued unabated.
I raised one hand to cut off such commentary.
‘Then why are they just brawling like dogs?’
—Which is precisely why it’s strange. If the form has reached that level, the internal energy should naturally follow, and if that’s so, the intent should be abundant. But there’s no aura carrying their movements at all—that’s why they’re flailing about. Even with a shattered dantian, it shouldn’t look like this…
Watching the Backhoe Spirit tilt his head in confusion, a possibility occurred to me.
Perhaps the only possibility.
‘You’re just messing with me, aren’t you?’
—Now, now, Zombie. I’m no trickster spirit, and I don’t jest over such matters.
The Backhoe Spirit countered with a rebuke of his own.
—I’m serious. Can’t you really see it? This is just like that time with the Ravenous Ghost who underwent closed-door cultivation with only a single aura to his name, forcing form and intent together through sheer will. Tsk. Well, that was precisely the discipline you needed back then…
Reducing years spent fighting the Demon King in Autumn Rain to the name “closed-door cultivation” was one thing, but the Backhoe Spirit remained earnest.
And now another serious voice joined in.
“That old man and woman… they’ve got some skill.”
The Viper was squinting with his single eye.
“In that bite just now lies the Principle of the Earth King Snake, and in that sweeping arm-block lies the Principle of the Gentle Crossing Dragon.”
—Hah! That one’s the “real deal,” but a martial artist is still a martial artist. Yes, that bite like the great Earth King Snake, and that deflection like the smooth Gentle Crossing Dragon! See that, Zombie? Unlike you, this one has eyes that truly perceive.
I silently opened the Viper’s skill panel.
The Heavenly Martial Sect Master stood with his arms crossed, thinking intently.
「By analyzing with the derived combat paths that appear in my Unmatched Under Heaven skill… yes, that’s it.」
「Those movements. ‘A boy reborn as Cerberus, guarding the gates of the Demon King’s castle, except the heads on both sides are his past lives as a troublemaker and class president, trapping him in endless torment’—and ‘An online gamer reincarnated as a high school boy teams up with his tsundere underclassman crush, a popular manga artist, to become a true hero’—that’s how I’d explain them. Definitely.」
The Backhoe Spirit fell silent.
The Medicine King, unaware of the context, tilted his head.
“Um… is that so, Master? It just looks like children roughhousing to me…”
“Shit. If it looks the same to any eye, what’s the difference between master and amateur? Only someone with eyes like mine can see it.”
「My goodness. How many branches does the derived combat path have? These two are operating on a far higher level than the Sword Saint.」
「Just watching them, I feel like I’m leveling up. I’ll have plenty to teach my disciples when I return.」
Hmm.
‘Backhoe Spirit, sir.’
-Yes, Kim Gongja…….
‘There’s that thing called All Streams Return to One and whatnot, right? There are multiple formulas that arrive at the same answer… I’d say that Viper over there is just looking at martial arts from a different angle.’
-You’re right, thanks…….
The Murim Alliance Leader and the Heavenly Demon were at each other’s throats like dogs, and while I watched them, the light novel emperor found his enlightenment, and most peculiarly of all, I found myself offering comfort to the Backhoe Spirit—this strange tableau, mercifully, didn’t last long.
“Achoo! Good grief, I’m freezing to death!”
The Medicine King burst out loud.
“Hey, you two! How much longer are you going to keep brawling like that? Don’t you see us standing right in front of you? Tsk, tsk, that tunnel vision of yours! It’s exactly like when I was young, exactly the same!”
The old man’s rebuke—one that had even given pause to the Sword Saint—carried a weight all its own.
The Murim Alliance Leader scratched the back of his head with an embarrassed expression.
“Mm, we have guests who’ve come all this way. You’re quite right—this is no way to show courtesy.”
The Heavenly Demon cleared her throat as well.
“Come then. I shall guide you to the cave where I dwell.”
4
Before long, dark clouds rolled in. There was no longer any need for me to illuminate our surroundings with Sparkle.
The zombies exposed to the sunlight had frozen solid again like stone, and we made our way safely out of the Snowy Plain.
“Huff. Huff…….”
“Gasp, pant… wheeze……!”
The problem lay with the meager stamina of the Heavenly Demon and the Murim Alliance Leader.
These two were no ordinary martial artists, but the heads of the Demonic Sect and the Orthodox Faction alike—people who ought to be displaying the greatest martial prowess in this world. The Backhoe Spirit and the Heavenly Martial Sect Master had each guaranteed their martial prowess through different means.
Yet for some reason, these two had absolutely abysmal stamina.
They were gasping for breath after just a short walk through the snow.
“Hmm.”
Unable to bear it, I offered gently.
“If it’s no trouble, might I carry you?”
“I, I must impose upon your kindness. My Mental Method isn’t operating smoothly today.”
In the end, I carried the Heavenly Demon as before, while the Viper ended up carrying the Murim Alliance Leader.
The Viper spoke solemnly.
“No, that won’t do.”
“Pardon?”
“It should be like this.”
Since I’d carried the Heavenly Demon before, this time the Viper carried her instead, and I took the Murim Alliance Leader on my back.
“This way makes more sense.”
“I see…….”
I lacked the energy to argue, so we left it at that.
Then it happened.
‘That’s odd.’
As I walked carrying the Murim Alliance Leader, a strange sensation seized me.
‘Something’s not right.’
The Backhoe Spirit tilted his head curiously.
-What’s not right?
‘His body is warm.’
-Huh?
‘…His body is extremely warm. How cold is it out here right now? If we don’t draw up our auras, we’ll freeze to death—yet this man, his body is warm.’
-…….
The Backhoe Spirit fell silent, lost in thought. I followed suit, my own mind churning.
Was he protecting his body with aura—with internal energy—the way we were? But in the battle that had just unfolded, I hadn’t sensed even a trace of internal energy.
‘Something doesn’t add up.’
Something was wrong.
But unable to pinpoint exactly what, we pressed on across the snowy expanse.
“This is where I make my dwelling.”
The place the Heavenly Demon guided us to was a cave not far from the Snowy Plain.
A wide opening in the ceiling let the evening glow stream down in luminous shafts.
“Wow…….”
The Medicine King’s mouth fell open. Behind his frost-rimmed glasses, his eyes glimmered.
“Is this a hot spring?”
The cave held an Open-Air Hot Spring.
A deep pool lay nestled in the cave floor. Wisps of steam curled up from its surface. The natural hot spring overcame the bitter winter cold and warmed the surroundings with gentle comfort. Above lay the sunset’s glow; below flowed the hot spring’s embrace—here was indeed a spectacle beyond compare.
“A secret dwelling I discovered long ago.”
The Heavenly Demon smiled contentedly.
“I never imagined I’d be hosting a stranger from Outside the Tower as a guest. Go wash yourself first. I’ll search with Heavenly Demon to see what food we have to offer.”
“Huh? Do we have anything to serve besides Grain-Avoiding Pills?”
“That’s exactly why I said we should look, Heavenly Demon. Have your ears gone with your years?”
“You’re always singing Heavenly Demon this, Heavenly Demon that, but the age difference between us isn’t even that much!”
“If it bothers you, then undergo Change Bones, Shed Skin yourself.”
The Heavenly Demon and the Murim Alliance Leader bickered and disappeared toward the far end of the cave.
We remained at the hot spring, watching the two of them with curious eyes.
“S-strange, isn’t it? Just a moment ago they were fighting like they’d sworn to kill each other…….”
“They’ve been quarreling for three years now. There’s a certain affection that grows even through fighting.”
The Medicine King grumbled.
“Still, this place is warm and pleasant. Ugh. The moment we arrived in this world, I’ve been holding onto men’s hands continuously—it’s been terribly embarrassing. Let me go now, Heavenly Martial Sect Master.”
“Why did the Sword Saint become friends with this kind of fellow?”
“Ahem! Watch your tongue. I was the one who became friends with Marcus!”
“No, I mean… though come to think of it, that Sword Saint wasn’t exactly a proper gentleman either. Damn it, like calls to like.”
And so we entered the open-air hot spring and rested.
After we finished bathing, the two martial artists served us food.
“Hmm, we’re embarrassed we have so little to offer.”
“These are Grain-Avoiding Pills. Eat plenty.”
What the Heavenly Demon and the Murim Alliance Leader brought were plump pellets—pills.
They resembled Clear Heart Pills at first glance, but the grains were slightly larger.
“In the old days, we could occasionally find game like wolves, but these days, beasts are hardly seen at all. How the world came to this, even I cannot fathom.”
“No, thank you for the hospitality.”
I accepted the plate respectfully. Three years had passed since the world’s end. There was no reason to expect food worth eating.
Our party cautiously nibbled at the Grain-Avoiding Pills.
“Ugh!”
“Mm.”
Viper and the Medicine King made openly bitter faces. I myself nearly grimaced. It tasted like chewing raw, aged coffee beans. These were decidedly not palatable.
“Have you been living on only this……?”
The pharmacist examined a Grain-Avoiding Pill curiously, turning it this way and that.
“Largely, yes.”
“And for how long?”
“Hmm.”
The Heavenly Demon gazed at the cave wall. Countless tally marks—the character for “correct”—were etched into the stone. Apparently, the two of them had marked each passing day with one stroke since they retreated into this cave.
“We’ve survived on Grain-Avoiding Pills alone for more than two years now.”
“Two years…….”
The pharmacist was at a loss for words. They had lived for a full two years eating nothing but these pellets.
The pharmacist groaned as if struggling to comprehend it.
“Th-that’s impossible. You couldn’t possibly obtain proper nutrition that way. Without the proper balance of carbohydrates, fats, proteins, vitamins, minerals—the human body cannot…….”
“Hmm? I don’t understand what you’re saying, but we manage well enough.”
“I can’t manage at all!”
The Medicine King cried out sharply.
He sprang to his feet and rummaged through his Pocket Dimension Pouch, pulling out a Burner, meat, seafood, and other provisions.
“Make way, you lot! Tsk tsk. Living on scraps like this is why you can’t even cross snowy fields without collapsing. Not caring for your body—that’s exactly how I was when I was young. Is there water around here?”
“Well, we melt snow to drink, or if the sun comes out several days running, there’s the spring water that flows inside…….”
“This is maddening, absolutely maddening. Seventy percent of the human body is water, and you’re drinking that kind of water—it’s hopeless. You need to drink water that knows what it’s doing. Ugh.”
The Medicine King lit a fire with his Burner and poured bottled water into a pot.
The pharmacist’s eyes widened at the sight of the bottle.
“B-Bling H2O? That expensive stuff…….”
“What’s expensive about it! It’s suitable for cooking so I just use it casually. Ugh. When I was Outside the Tower, I wouldn’t have given it a second glance. Tsk tsk. If only it weren’t for that Marcus fellow…….”
Backhoe Spirit tilted his head at this sudden cooking spectacle.
-Zombie. What is Bling H2O?
‘I don’t know? Maybe something like Evian.’
-What’s Evian? Some kind of expensive crude oil?
‘What is expensive crude oil?’
-Some absurdly expensive water.
Then it must be similar.
SSS-Rank Immortal Hunter (Serialized)
Author │ Shin Noah
Publisher │ Kim Joo-hyung
Publishing House │ J Plus Media Co., Ltd.
Marketing │ Han Jae-hyuk
Address │ 204, 288 Digital-ro, Guro-gu, Seoul (Guro-dong, Daelyung Post Tower 1st)
Email │ [email protected]
Website │ www.jayplemedia.com
ⓒ Shin Noa 2019
※This work is published by Jay Plus Media Co., Ltd. in accordance with a contract with the copyright holder. No part of this work may be used in any form or by any means without permission from the company and the author.
Violation of this may result in criminal and civil legal liability.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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