Resetting Lady - Chapter 220
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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“Lord Raymond… actually… I wanted to try saying those words. About how we should create a better world for our child… until yesterday… I was thinking that.”
“…”
“You know too.”
She bites her lips. Raymond knows too. Even without saying it out loud, she can tell. They both know.
The fact that she’s pregnant.
And the fact that the child cannot be born.
* * *
It was when Guiz was showing Karen to the doctors. One doctor called Guiz over while another approached Karen’s side. Gray eyes rolled quickly. A finger came up. Shh.
Karen noticed. Royal physicians of that caliber don’t leave just one escape route open. One of the physicians, an old doctor, spoke to Karen.
“Lord Louis asked about your condition and told me to inform him.”
“Lord Louis?”
“Yes. He’s also my student.”
An unexpected helping hand arrives. Karen entrusted her body to the doctor without worrying that danger might befall her and the fetus. After quite some time passed, the old doctor looked at Karen and continued speaking while strangely contorting his wrinkled face.
“You are indeed pregnant. But it will be difficult to gain wealth and glory from it.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
It’s not even Guiz’s child anyway. It’s just a lie told to survive. And Guiz doesn’t believe it either. He’s just suspending judgment out of interest, pretending they don’t know the truth. She just needs to survive until Raymond comes.
And this time, she will truly obtain a real life. By giving birth to a child. This time for sure.
“…No.”
But the doctor shook his head while looking at Karen’s hopeful face.
That’s not what he meant.
“The child in that belly is already as good as dead.”
It cannot be born.
* * *
…
…
* * *
“Did, did, did you think… I would… let you go… so easily?”
Dulan laughed.
Lord Raymond, how do I appear to you? I am this weak, sinister, and have nothing. You know it and I know it. But I too have something I can never give up.
My longing for eternity.
* * *
“Help Karen not get pregnant until she truly loves someone.”
So she can postpone her choice.
Catherine said that, but Dulan inwardly scoffed while hearing it. What exactly is true love and how does one judge it? And why should he do that? What did Catherine trust when she proposed a deal to him? That he had nothing to lose? No.
If Karen dies, eternity disappears.
He absolutely, absolutely didn’t want Karen to get pregnant. But as time passed, Dulan Lloyd thought.
What if my heart changes? What if I make a mistake? What if I give up eternity because of a moment’s wavering?
Even he felt he wasn’t that strong a person.
Perhaps, just perhaps, if Karen told him she loved him. It’s a ridiculous thought, but if the engagement proceeded to marriage, then… might he give up? Might he choose the life of an ordinary person who gives up eternity and lives and dies normally?
No.
Dulan refused. That cannot happen. He must not waver. So Dulan decided to give her more medicine.
Longer, longer… more certainly…
* * *
“Why?”
Karen asked blankly.
Hope comes too suddenly and disappears just as suddenly. Always thinking she was infertile, the thread-like hope of pregnancy that came in the worst situation disappears again. Karen placed her hand on her belly. She can’t tell yet. She doesn’t feel anything. But she thought it was there. And now they said it would be there.
“Why? My body… what did I… what mistake…”
The doctor sympathized, but that didn’t change the truth.
“Haven’t you taken too much medicine?”
“Medicine… this time… well… recently there hasn’t been any…”
She feels dizzy. What did I eat? Who did I meet? What entered my mouth… Her stomach churns. What did I do wrong this time that made it fail? What did I…
As Karen’s breathing became rapid, the doctor held her and asked again slowly.
“Haven’t you been taking it for a very long time? Examining your body, I can already see signs of stillbirth.”
This isn’t from one or two months, but from consistent intake over several years. Your body cannot give birth even if you conceive. You’ve already taken too much medicine. That child cannot be born.
Miss Karen, are you alright? Breathe slowly. There’s nothing particularly wrong with your body. Given time, slowly… if treated for several years, there might be improvement.
You’re just not ready yet. For now, first, breathe slowly…
She couldn’t scream. Prince Guiz was nearby.
Eyes wide open, holding back tears… it’s okay… what she can do now…
* * *
“As, as, as expected… it was good… to do that.”
Dulan giggled and laughed.
“I was a bit worried. Seeing that you know I’m involved, it seems my past self did something. I had no such plan, and my current self doesn’t know the method.”
Even in his battered state, he seemed endlessly cheerful. Blood tears flowed from his eyes and blood and gastric fluid dripped from his mouth, but that laughter couldn’t be stopped even by screams. The more Raymond tortured him, the more certain Dulan became. This moment will eventually end and come again.
“But, but, but seeing your… face… it seems I really succeeded properly.”
How joyful this is.
Seeing your face makes me so happy. Karen really obtained eternity. My past self has truly continued to succeed. Even if I die right now, I’ll come back to life and all this pain will disappear.
Lord Raymond, I won’t remember. And even now, there’s nothing more to fear.
How joyful this is!
* * *
Whoooosh.
The rain grew heavy. Karen felt grateful for the rain hitting her face. Surely she was crying. Probably Raymond too. Neither had the strength to comfort the other not to cry.
“You… knew too.”
So that’s why you kept saying it was meaningless while staying by my side promising to grant all my wishes. Because you were already certain it was useless last time. Whether I become friends with Isella or not, whether I get pregnant or not… whether I die or live, whether I’m with you or apart… the end is the same this time too.
They pity each other.
They are so unhappy and pitiful that they can’t even comfort each other’s wounds. Sympathy welled up.
She must think. She must think. If she doesn’t, she’ll die. Now… what she can do…
Karen opened her mouth.
“I hope Prince Louis doesn’t die to Guiz.”
“Karen.”
“If we don’t die anyway, if the end is the same this time too, it would be okay to see Prince Louis live this time.”
“I… hate seeing you suffer.”
Karen hit Raymond with her fist. Rage surged up. Choking anger and screams flowed from her throat.
“Doing nothing is more painful! Having nothing left is more terrible! Lord Raymond! I want the world to flow even if I die! I want to leave something behind! I want time to pass! I want you to live! Don’t you understand?”
This isn’t being alive. It’s ghosts wandering the world.
“I want to be remembered as having lived a meaningful life… I became friends with Isella. I had meals with Father and talked about Mother, suffered being deceived by Nancy… if I do these things… again from the beginning, that’s… that’s really…”
Thud, thud. She hit him several times. She shouldn’t be angry at Raymond. Surely he’s someone who fell into this hell because of her. She shouldn’t be angry at what Raymond didn’t say. He didn’t say it out of concern for her. Because there’s no answer.
“Lord Raymond, you said you could love me because you don’t trust me.”
Karen grabbed Raymond’s clothes and glared at him.
“Then since we don’t die, let’s go to the end once. I wanted to become friends with Isella, and I succeeded. Then you put Louis on the throne. I want to see that.”
Even if it’s a future we can’t see. Even if it’s something unrelated to us.
Nevertheless.
“Karen, I always… just need you to be there.”
Raymond answered slowly in a hoarse voice.
“And I’ll do anything you want.”
Raymond’s face looked truly peaceful.
He had hoped she would push him forward.
Even when Karen died, time flowed. The world turned. He met countless people. But among them were people who weighed on his mind, people who died, and good people. There were also people who remained particularly memorable.
Karen was like that, and so was Louis.
The boy who looked at him with admiring eyes was destined not to become king.
And after living a hundred lives, he was a boy no longer important to his purpose. In Raymond’s hundredth life, which had been his first, in Raymond’s summer days, in his youth, he was an important person. One boy who was somewhat regrettable and heartbreaking.
If Raymond had truly been a young man, he wouldn’t have been able to give up on Louis either. But Louis, who had never lived even once during over a hundred lifetimes, was simply already a dead person.
Like his brother, a wagon wheel rolling away beyond his reach. That’s how it was for him who had regained his memories. But now there was no need for that.
Because she had given permission. He was allowed to indulge in a bit more hypocrisy.
And there was someone watching those two.
“…Interesting.”
Prince Guiz rested his chin on his hand and looked down at the scene.
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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