Pretending to Be Human Is Exhausting Again Today - Chapter 68

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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Pretending to Be Human: Episode 068

I rose from my chair and approached Princess Chloe.

“The Lake Deity’s choice to single me out was wise. The people around me are genuinely plagued by misfortune of every conceivable kind.”

Plague, earthquakes, assassination attempts—I couldn’t fathom how the Lake Deity had discerned my circumstances, but it was undeniably an astute selection.

Had I not intervened directly, Princess Chloe would have ceased to exist in this world by now, claimed by the Mercenary Groups.

Yet there existed a more convenient method—one that required no reliance upon such calamities.

“You didn’t ask your Guard Knight to kill you because you didn’t want them to face punishment for your death, did you?”

“Y-yes, that’s right. Murder carries capital punishment even in the Empire, after all.”

Similarly, her attempt to die by mercenary hands was a choice designed to ensure no blame would fall upon me.

If she had died under unavoidable circumstances, I would have gained an excuse to present to the Emperor.

Reflecting upon it, every choice she had made thus far was born from consideration for us.

‘Admirable, perhaps, is what I should call it.’

I smiled bitterly and positioned myself behind her, placing my hands firmly upon both her shoulders to prevent any escape.

“Your consideration is commendable. But I have no need for your consideration. I can end your life without leaving evidence or justification.”

Her body trembled at my words.

“You know my capabilities, don’t you?”

“Y-yes. I’ve witnessed them myself…”

“Then let me end your life right now.”

To prevent further complications, to spare others from suffering, here and now.

“….”

Silence descended upon the room. Just she and I remained, alone together. The faint rhythm of Princess Chloe’s breathing seemed to mirror the turmoil within her heart.

Anxiety. Restlessness. Fear. Not a trace of hope.

“But… but still.”

She swallowed hard, forcing her lips to part with visible effort.

“I cannot ask such a thing of the Princess. You are… you are of noble blood, after all…”

“Do I appear to concern myself with such matters?”

“…”

She could not answer. She was likely remembering that day when I sent the mercenaries flying. She had never truly consented to my proposal.

‘As I suspected. She lacks the true courage to die.’

This entire performance was meant to confirm that very truth.

I paused for a moment, then spoke again.

“In truth, you knew of a faster method than all these complicated schemes. Yet you never pursued it.”

“What do you mean…”

“Your own hands.”

The closest, the swiftest, the most intimate means. It was Princess Chloe’s own hands.

She held her breath.

“You know well that ending your own life by your own hand is the finest way to burden no one. And yet you sought another’s hands instead. The reason for that…”

“I… I…”

“Shall I speak it aloud for you?”

She lowered her head quietly. Though her face remained hidden, I could well imagine the expression she wore.

“…bad luck.”

“What did you say?”

“How am I supposed to overcome something so terrifying?”

Her voice trembled as she continued, faltering between words.

“I know. I’m aware of it. Do you think I haven’t tried? I attempted it dozens of times crossing the Sea. With bedsheets, with knives, by obtaining poison… but I was too afraid to actually go through with it!”

Tears fell from her eyes, dampening her knees. That voice, mingled with regret and fury, carried more authenticity than anything she had said before.

“I’m afraid of death. I’m afraid of the suffering that comes after, of myself disappearing. Even the Deity didn’t answer whether I could reach Heaven after I die. They just spoke as if death were the end of everything.”

It was only natural. Neither I nor the Deities knew what became of us after annihilation.

That’s why we too fear death.

Humans, who live even shorter lives than we do, need not be mentioned.

I watched her sobbing for a moment before speaking slowly.

“Don’t deceive your own feelings. Your life belongs to you.”

“What good does that do?! That doesn’t erase my sins! Besides, only if I die, only then will everyone….”

“But there are people who helped you. At least they wish for you to….”

“No! Princess, you don’t understand anything.”

She rose abruptly from her seat, facing me directly.

“They didn’t wish for me to live. They wanted me to disappear from Jins Kingdom!”

“….”

“I may be ignorant, but I’m not foolish. They exiled me not for my sake, but to avoid the consequence of killing more of the Royal Family.”

It was a rational deduction. In truth, Jins Kingdom, which would need to prepare diplomatic relations with foreign powers, would naturally wish to avoid the brutal outcome of slaughtering the entire Royal Family.

The Rebel Army wanted to present itself as a righteous and rational organization—one magnanimous enough to permit the Royal Family’s exile without resistance.

‘And the collateral branches of the Royal Family are bound by blood to foreign nations, so they likely intend to prevent unnecessary conflict as well.’

Princess Chloe spoke with exasperation, wiping her tear-stained face with the back of her hand.

“So you see, I have no allies. Everyone wishes for me—Princess Chloe of Jins Kingdom—to disappear. So I must die, and my role is to become what everyone desires, and I’ve lived my entire life this way.”

Her eyes, reddened from excessive tears, fixed upon me.

“Why is dying so difficult?”

“….”

“Why am I so weak? While the people suffered for decades, I lived in the Royal Palace in ignorance, and yet no one wishes for me to live….”

Why, why.

She berated herself, striking her own head repeatedly—a gesture so childlike, as though she had never once been angry with herself before.

“If only I were as strong as the Princess….”

‘The moment has come.’

I gently grasped her hand.

“I won’t claim to empathize with your suffering. Each person’s pain belongs to them alone. But I too once considered choosing death, so there’s something I wish to tell you.”

“What… is it?”

I met her gaze directly, ensuring she could not escape this conversation.

“Death is not a refuge.”

“…!”

I paused to collect myself, then continued.

“You must feel lost about how to live going forward. I understand your desire to escape guilt. And I comprehend why death seems the easier choice in comparison.”

“Are you saying I chose death because I wanted to find peace?”

“Yes.”

I nodded firmly.

“Listen carefully, Princess Chloe. Death rarely becomes a noble choice.”

Too many people had come to view death as a convenient escape.

Life—existence itself—is more precious than any treasure. Therefore, the choice to abandon it must be made with utmost care.

“In no circumstance does death offer a solution. And if you truly wish to fulfill your responsibility, you must face it alive, not flee through death.”

“…You’re saying I should live and atone for my sins?”

“Exactly. I wouldn’t squander such a precious life that way, but you need a purpose for living.”

She hesitated, her hands clasped together, before speaking.

“Is that truly the right choice? What if it seems like I’m just making excuses because I’m afraid of death…?”

I could already imagine what she would say next.

For someone treated like a decorative vase, choosing a path that defied others’ expectations would be difficult.

“Everyone wants me dead. What’s the point in living if that’s what they desire?”

“Does it matter so much how others perceive you? Just because someone wishes for your death, does that make your life so worthless that you should fulfill their expectations?”

“But—that’s what it means to be a princess! I—we have no choice!”

“Then.”

I grasped her hand firmly and pulled her toward me. Speaking with conviction to her, I said:

“I wish for you to live.”

“…What?”

“I, Princess Deina, wish for you, Princess Chloe, to live. I hope you survive unscathed and brazenly claim that tragedy has nothing to do with you. So….”

After a moment of careful consideration, I continued.

“Will you accept my hope?”

She stared at me in a daze.

With the distance between us narrowed, her breath reached me. I could feel her trembling gradually subside, however faintly.

“You wish for me to live?”

“Yes.”

“If you take my side, you’ll face condemnation from the people. Even knowing that?”

Before long, she would likely be named as one of the perpetrators of the great catastrophe of Jins Kingdom, a member of the Royal Family. But I didn’t care.

“Being treated as a villain is something I’m accustomed to.”

After all, in my previous life, I was a Demon.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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