Not A Regressor - Chapter 224

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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I Am Not a Regressor Chapter 224
Interlude – What Was Erased, What Remains (2)
I cannot remember.
It does not come to mind.
When, where, why.
How had she and I become lovers?
‘Cheon Do-yoon captured my sister… I used the Heavenly Demon to save her… and then after that.’
After that.
What happened?
“…Ah.”
I twisted my body while tearing at my hair.
No matter how much I thought about it, no matter how much I tried to retrace my steps.
The memory of that day would not surface.
‘Did I confess to my sister? Or did she confess to me?’
I had no idea.
Since we were young, I had always known deep down that we harbored feelings for each other.
But because we were so familiar with one another, I had been reluctant to let things develop hastily into a romantic relationship.
‘My sister and I… lovers?’
Throbbing.
My head felt as though it might split open.
Like broken film reels being forcibly spliced together.
A sickening nausea welled up from the depths of this profound discomfort.
“Kwon O-jin?”
Ha-eun gently stroked my back with a worried expression.
“What’s wrong?”
“…It’s nothing.”
“Nothing, my foot. Your face looks like you just ate a rotten fish head curry.”
Ha-eun frowned.
“Should I call a doctor?”
“I’m fine.”
I shook my head, steadying my ragged breathing.
Cold sweat trickling down my spine.
The pain of losing entire chunks of memory was far greater than the pain of having my limbs severed.
“…Sister.”
“Huh?”
“Do you like me?”
“W-what?”
At the sudden question, Ha-eun jumped up with a flustered expression.
“W-what are you suddenly asking something like that for?”
Ha-eun hid her cheeks, flushed as red as her hair, and struck my ribs repeatedly.
I kicked at the ground aimlessly with the tips of my toes, lowering my head.
“What… y-yes, of course I like it. I… well, after all, you’re my… my girlfriend, right?”
Ha-eun’s expression, tinged with embarrassment, suddenly twisted into a scowl.
“But why are you asking something like that all of a sudden, you jerk? Huh? Do you enjoy watching your sister die of embarrassment?”
Ha-eun applied a headlock and roughly mussed my hair with an indignant expression.
“…Yeah.”
I had forgotten, but she remembered.
The memory of that day when we confirmed feelings we had kept locked away for so long.
The memory of that day when our bodies intertwined and we whispered our love.
Memories of that day that I could never recall again.
Only she held them.
Only she kept them.
Only she would remember them.
As she lived on.
“…I’m going to step out for a bit.”
“Huh? Where are you going?”
“I just need some fresh air.”
I shrugged my shoulders and pushed myself up from the bed.
“Want to come with me?”
“No. I have some things I need to think about alone.”
“Ugh. You’re not even a teenager. Fine, go get some air and come back.”
“Okay.”
I slipped on the slippers placed beneath the bed and hurried outside.
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap!
I ran down the hospital corridor.
I pressed the elevator button, but it didn’t come up—too many passengers waiting.
“Huff… huff!”
Breathing heavily, I headed toward the emergency stairwell.
I flew up the stairs.
The rooftop door, locked firmly with a padlock, came into view.
Crack!
I crushed the padlock with my bare hand and wrenched the rooftop door open.
“Bleeeegh!”
The abalone porridge I’d eaten from Isabella stained the hospital rooftop.
“Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, daaaamn it!”
Crash!
I struck the railing violently, pouring out my curses.
“Huff… huff!”
My head spun.
As if my entire life had been erased with an eraser.
Fragmented memories that refused to connect seamlessly had been strangling me with anguish.
“Ah… ugh.”
With trembling hands, I reached toward my left chest.
The stigma of the Lyra Constellation carved upon my chest.
The Black Star sleeping within it.
‘If I continue to use Gae-cheon from now on…’
Would I cease to exist entirely?
Remembering nothing.
Recalling no one.
All memories of my life erased.
Becoming something else entirely?
“Hah, hah, hah!”
My limbs trembled as terror surged through me.
My teeth chattered violently.
I could endure any amount of pain.
I could withstand any suffering.
But.
But.
But.
This…
“Damn it, damn it!”
Tears streamed down my cheeks.
I had known.
That the side effect of Gae-cheon was memory loss.
Yet somewhere in my heart, I harbored the naive hope that ‘perhaps only the old memories would fade, not everything.’
Memories that would naturally be forgotten with time anyway.
I had hoped that only those insignificant memories would disappear.
‘Idiot.’
Self-loathing crashed over me.
I slumped against the railing, my back pressed against it.
I wrapped my arms around my trembling legs.
Burying my face between my knees, I continued my thoughts.
‘I didn’t know.’
Not until Ha-eun spoke the words ‘lovers’.
I had forgotten the very memory of being in a relationship with her.
‘But…’
I hadn’t even found it strange.
I hadn’t even felt it was awkward.
As if it had always been this way, I had forgotten our relationship with such naturalness.
Then…
Doesn’t that mean that each time I lose my memory going forward, I won’t even realize what I’ve forgotten?
“…What if.”
All my memories of Ha-eun disappeared.
A life where I didn’t even recognize who she was.
I would live on, accepting it as ‘natural’.
“….”
The arms wrapped around my legs trembled faintly.
Imagining myself living perfectly fine without even remembering who Ha-eun was, nausea surged up again.
‘Could I… not use Heukcheon going forward?’
The Heavenly Demon.
The transcendent who created the Black Stars would approach, targeting the Heukcheon I possessed.
Could I win against that transcendent without using Heukcheon?
No, I didn’t even need to go that far.
Even Cassia possessed such overwhelming power that there was no way to face her without using Heukcheon.
‘And that’s not all.’
To begin with, the true enemy of humanity wasn’t the Black Star Society, but the monsters of the Demon Realm.
Their movements were subdued now, but what if the Named ones ran rampant again?
What if the ‘Kings’ who ruled the Demon Realm came to Earth?
Could I.
truly protect those precious to me through all those trials without using Heukcheon?
“Ha, haha.”
A hollow laugh escaped Kwon O-jin’s lips.
I knew it.
If I had never known of Heukcheon’s existence from the start, perhaps. But now that I’ve tasted its power, eventually the day would come when I’d use it again.
‘And.’
It would be erased.
It would be forgotten.
Happy memories, painful ones, angry ones. Sad ones.
All of them would vanish one by one.
And.
In the end.
“…I can’t.”
A voice wrung out with desperation.
Tears traced down my cheeks, soaking my clothes.
“I can’t… let that happen.”
If all my memories were erased. If no one remembered or could recall them.
Could I even call that myself?
Wouldn’t I just become a completely different being with the name Kwon O-jin?
‘If that happens.’
A sensation of suffocation.
His mind burned white-hot as a thick, poisonous dread consumed him.
Uuuuuuung!
Then.
The pendant hanging from his neck blazed with light.
[My child! Deneb told me you returned safely!]
Vega burst from the pendant in a flurry of excitement, fluttering into the air.
[Hmm?]
Sensing the unusual atmosphere, Vega tilted her head curiously.
She fluttered toward Kwon O-jin, who sat huddled against the railing.
[What troubles you?]
“…It’s nothing.”
[Oh please. I can clearly see the tear stains. What do you mean nothing?]
Vega furrowed her brow and continued with a stern expression.
[Are you in pain?]
“No. Just… memories of my suffering in the Demon Realm came back to me.”
[…Is that so?]
Vega’s eyes grew sad as she gently stroked my head.
[Do not worry. I am here with you, am I not?]
I stared blankly at Vega’s hand on my head.
“…Vega.”
[Yes? What is it?]
“You’ve forgotten all your memories from your past life, haven’t you?”
[…That is true.]
“When we first spoke, how did you feel? You don’t remember those moments, but I do.”
[Hmm.]
Vega crossed her arms, lost in thought.
After a long silence, she slowly opened her mouth.
[At first, I thought you were speaking nonsense.]
“And?”
[You said we had a deep connection in my past life, did you not? Yet I have no such memories… It felt hollow somehow.]
Hollow, she said.
[But it is fine now.]
“…Fine?”
Vega nodded, a gentle smile gracing her lips.
[Even if memories are erased, what happened does not simply disappear, does it?]
….
I could not answer hastily.
Because what had transpired between us was never truly something that “happened” in the first place.
[Close your eyes.]
“My eyes?”
“Come on.”
Following her words, I closed my eyes.
Uuuuuung!
Along with the vibrating hum of light, I felt the gentle touch of two soft arms carefully embracing my body.
Not the small arms of a doll, but arms the size of an adult woman.
“Vega?”
[Even if you cannot see me, does that mean I, who am beside you, simply vanish?]
“….”
Ah, yes.
She was right.
Even if memories are erased.
What happened does not disappear.
Even if I forget every memory of Ha-eun, she will remain by my side just as she does now.
‘But.’
Kwon O-jin bit his lip.
She genuinely believed the lie he had uttered so casually.
False memories. A false relationship. False recollections.
She treasured them in her heart, thinking of them not as ‘vanished’ but as real.
Then what about him?
What would become of him, with all his memories erased?
Would he live like her, believing things that never happened as if they truly did?
“What if… what happened never actually happened?”
[What do you mean by that?]
“If I told you that Vega and I were actually nothing to each other in our past lives… how would you feel?”
[That would be….]
Vega’s eyes trembled.
[Truly sorrowful and heartbreaking.]
She smiled softly and stroked his head.
[Yet I think it would not matter.]
“…It wouldn’t matter?”
[What I know now is not the you of past lives, but the you of this moment, is it not?]
Tender hands wrapped around my body.
[I love the you of now.]
“….”
[Oh! N-not that kind of love! That is, yes! I love you as my child, nothing more….]
“Vega.”
Like suppressed emotions bursting forth, a sudden impulse pushed at his back.
Kwon O-jin wept silently, holding Vega close as his shoulders shook.
[Hm?]
Vega gazed down at the weeping Kwon O-jin, then wordlessly embraced him in return.
[I do not know why you weep.]
A gentle hand caressed Kwon O-jin’s back.
[Do not despair.]
Her voice resonating through his mind dispelled the terror that had been consuming his body.
[All shall be well.]
Soft whispers enveloped Kwon O-jin’s trembling sobs in warmth and comfort.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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