My Unrequited Love Is an Absolute Secret - Chapter 45

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 45

“Huh?”
I startled as though Jessie had caught me red-handed having a secret affair with Aemerus.
In truth, there was absolutely no reason to be so alarmed.
Strictly speaking, it was Jessie who had encouraged me to get closer to Aemerus.
Yet I couldn’t understand why I felt guilty toward him.
“You’re acting suspicious now. Who is it?”
Jessie pressed me for an answer as I fumbled for words.
I considered brushing him off by saying it was just a friend, but abandoned the thought.
I didn’t want to lie to Jessie, and besides, he would see through it immediately.
After all, Aemerus was my only friend.
‘That’s rather sad.’
I had spent my entire life knowing only Jessie.
I found myself suddenly questioning whether such a narrow social circle was acceptable.
If I had to add anyone else, there was Faye, but I still hadn’t completely shaken the suspicion that she might be Aemerus’s stalker.
“It’s Aemerus.”
In the end, I came clean.
“You said Aemerus was the one who reported it to the police yesterday. So he must have gotten word that the intruder was caught, and he was just passing that information along to me.”
“I see.”
“…”
“…”
An awkward silence fell between us.
Though silence was familiar to us, I swear this particular moment felt entirely different from before.
It was like standing on a bed of nails.
Uncomfortable with the tension, I absently rubbed my arm.
Fortunately, Jessie broke the silence first.
“Aren’t you going to send him a reply?”
“Oh, I already sent one earlier.”
Aemerus had sent a reply, but I didn’t have the courage to check it right away.
I placed my phone on the desk as though hiding it and crossed my arms.
I planned to respond to Jessie first before replying to Aemerus.
“Jessie, do you have plans today? Do you need to go somewhere?”
Jessie’s eyes narrowed.
His question sounded exactly like an eviction notice.
‘Surely not.’
How could Jessie possibly think that way?
He had been busy for a while now, so naturally I assumed he would be busy today as well.
“There is someone I promised to meet….”
Jessie deliberately trailed off, studying Harry intently.
If she asked him to stay, he would gladly cancel the appointment.
After what happened yesterday, it was only natural that she’d be frightened.
“If you have a promise to keep, you should go. I’m fine, so go ahead.”
But Harry, as always, didn’t hold him back.
She yielded him to another without hesitation, just as she always did.
And this, in fact, was one of the reasons I couldn’t be certain of her feelings for me.
If she truly loved me, she couldn’t let me leave so easily.
Shouldn’t I say I truly loved her only if I got angry like Robin and cried?
“Thank you for coming today.”
Her seemingly unbothered demeanor left a bitter taste in my mouth.
“You don’t need to thank me. It’s only natural that I come running when something happens to you.”
Harry simply smiled.
As if she didn’t believe my words at all.
“Take care.”
Harry was as kind as always—so why did she feel so distant today?
I left Harry’s House and walked a few steps before stopping abruptly.
‘It’s not too late even now.’
A voice inside me cried out.
To turn back to Harry right now.
To ask Robin for forgiveness for breaking my promise.
Not to be foolishly taken from her by Aemerus.
‘Do I look like I’d be taken so easily?’
The moment I finally resolved myself and turned around.
My phone rang, as if by fate.
「Ashley」
The moment I saw the caller’s name, I let out a heavy sigh.
I irritably brushed my hair back, looking at Harry’s House one more time, and finally answered the call.
“Yes. I’m on my way now.”
Before leaving, I looked up at Harry’s House one last time.
The brown brick house that had once been my sturdy refuge.
With each step I took away from it, my lingering attachment fell away, drop by drop.

***

The next day, I visited Maji’s House carrying gerberas I’d purchased from a florist and homemade cupcakes I’d baked myself.
“Lili! My goodness, what is all this?”
Maji greeted me with a radiant expression.
Though I’d heard she had no injuries, I only felt truly reassured after seeing her healthy appearance with my own eyes.
“They’re humble cupcakes, but I baked them for you.”
“How thoughtful of you. Would you mind stepping inside for a moment? Have a cup of tea before you go.”
“I wouldn’t be imposing, would I?”
“Oh, absolutely not. I have guests here anyway. It’s just a matter of setting out one more teacup.”
“Then I’ll gratefully accept.”
Since Maji kept insisting, it would be rude to refuse, and besides, a single cup of tea wasn’t much of a burden.
I readily agreed and followed Maji’s guidance to the sitting room.
The familiar faces of neighboring residents who were already there drinking tea recognized me and offered their greetings.
“Lili! How have you been?”
“I was wondering where that delicious smell was coming from—it was these cupcakes!”
“Lili baked them for me. Please, everyone try one. But no more than two, no matter how delicious they are!”
I let out a soft laugh watching the adults become as excited as children over a single cupcake.
“I wish I’d made more.”
“No, it’s better this way than having leftovers.”
Maji retrieved a fresh teacup from the shelf and placed it before me.
“I’ll put the flowers in the bedroom. Thank you, Lili.”
“I’m even happier that you like them.”
It wasn’t such a remarkable thing to say, yet the adults sitting together expressed admiration.
It was a telling moment of how drastically low the older generation’s expectations had become for the younger generation.
“If only our children were as kind as Lili.”
“They say the drug addict they caught yesterday was quite young too. How does someone so promising end up like that?”
As expected, the conversation naturally drifted toward the incident that had occurred at Maji’s House.
I suspected they’d been discussing this very topic since before I arrived.
‘The intruder was young?’
As I listened, one suspicious figure came to mind.
That Halloween night. Joker, who had approached the three of us.
There was no one else who could have secretly placed something in Robin’s candy basket.
Among everyone I’d met that day, Joker was the only one whose identity remained unclear.
“This place isn’t safe anymore.”
It was while I was quietly sipping my tea and organizing my thoughts.
“My husband is going to replace the fake CCTV he installed with real ones right away.”
“That’s a wise decision. There’s no guarantee something like this won’t happen again.”
“Exactly. Who would have thought security could be breached so easily? And in Brooklyn Heights, no less.”
Eventually, someone even brought up Mayfair, the residential area of London’s upper class, suggesting they hire private security—an opinion that lacked some grounding in reality.
“But usually, those private security guards are immigrants, aren’t they? It seems odd to hire new ones when we’re already deporting the immigrants we have.”
Someone had spoken thoughtlessly, and only when the others glanced sideways at me did they belatedly realize their mistake.
“Lili isn’t an immigrant—she’s our neighbor, right? Haha.”
I could see him breaking into a cold sweat, desperately trying to recover from his slip of the tongue.
Watching his pathetic struggle, I lost the will to press him further.
“It’s fine. My parents are immigrants, after all.”
“Lili, what I meant was….”
“I should be going now.”
Staying any longer would only make things awkward for both of us, so I left without another word.
Maji saw me off with an apologetic expression, clearly at a loss for what to say.
“I’m sorry, Lili. I shouldn’t have called you over for tea.”
“No, it’s fine.”
I wanted to tell Maji that none of this was her fault….
But was that really true?
Perhaps everyone harbored the same underlying discomfort toward immigrants, even if they pretended otherwise on the surface.
“I’m truly sorry about what happened on Halloween.”
“That wasn’t your fault at all. The criminal has been caught, so let’s just forget about it.”
After embracing Maji, I returned home with a hollow ache in my chest.
‘As long as I’m in this country, I’ll always remain an immigrant.’
Even if I were fortunate enough to marry Jessie, people would see me as an immigrant who married an American—never as an American myself.
‘I’ll die an immigrant too.’
Most people who reverse-migrated to Korea probably experienced the same despair I was feeling now.
The loneliness cut through to my very bones.
The only consolation was that descending the stairs would reunite me with my family.
‘Korea….’
What would life be like there?
At least I wouldn’t feel this sense of alienation, would I?
As I entertained these thoughts, Aemerus suddenly came to mind.
Probably because he was the one who had asked me several times whether I would return to Korea.
That boy who could speak Korean, however imperfectly.
And the boy who, the moment he sensed danger, had shielded me first.
“…!”
As I recalled that Halloween night, my eyes met those of the golden retriever plush toy, and I flinched.
“Don’t look at me like that.”
The toy’s eyes seemed to accuse me.
“No matter what anyone says, I love Jessie. That hasn’t changed.”
I uttered words that seemed directed at no one in particular, then shoved the plush toy out of sight.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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