My Illusion Is Survival - Chapter 72

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 72

 

Mana suppression devices are originally classified as the most lethal weapons against mages. Since they steal away the mana that was felt as naturally as breathing, even breathing itself becomes awkward.

 

In fact, some mages who were restrained by mana suppression devices once said it felt like breathing on a high mountain.

 

Therefore, this was inevitably the most terrible shackle for mages.

 

However.

 

‘It has nothing to do with me.’

 

My problem is that I can’t feel mana in the first place!

 

To people who didn’t know this situation, it would look like I had endured until I couldn’t anymore and collapsed.

 

“Miss!”

 

“Lady Elpis!”

 

No grand acting was needed. Just lying on the floor trembling was definitely tremendously effective.

 

“S-Simoer, what should we do?”

 

“What if something terrible happens to her?!”

 

“Who knows.”

 

Just as Simoer’s unenthusiastic voice could be heard through the restless people, the sound of a door opening was followed by someone’s footsteps.

 

“Move aside. I’ll handle this.”

 

It was Azel’s voice.

 

Though he tried his best to suppress it, unavoidable urgency could be felt.

 

‘And yet he worries like this.’

 

Just as my heart was about to feel wistful, my upper body was lifted up like pulling out a radish, and immediately the necklace was torn off.

 

‘Wow, he’s tearing it off with brute force.’

 

I almost opened my eyes.

 

This artifact made for restraint was originally impossible to remove without specialized tools.

 

I was flustered wondering if this was truly the world’s strongest being, when suddenly hot warmth approached closely.

 

“Just bear with it a little.”

 

What? In that moment, my chin was lifted and a presence approached right in front of my nose.

 

“?????”

 

There weren’t many things one could do in this position, naturally.

 

‘D-don’t tell me he’s thinking of giving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?!’

 

Since I had been gasping as if I was having trouble breathing first, it was actually natural when you think about it.

 

‘So suddenly like this?’

 

When I opened my eyes in surprise, Azel’s lips were right in front of me.

 

“Wait a minute-!”

 

As I reflexively reached out my hand with this realization, at that moment there was a ‘thud!’ sound as Azel’s face was blocked by my palm.

 

And so silence fell.

 

Except for one person. Except for Simoer’s low laughter.

 

“Oh my.”

 

Except for that, it was truly perfect silence.

 

In the midst of this, since Azel’s small face was completely covered by my entire palm, this silence felt even heavier.

 

“….”

 

“….”

 

For a moment while everyone was frozen as if turned to ice, he grabbed my wrist as if trying to remove the hand that was holding his face.

 

However, my mistake didn’t end there.

 

“S-sorry-”

 

When Azel’s face that had been covered by my palm was revealed, and I quickly blurted out an apology to survive.

 

“Really sorry- Oh my, what is this.”

 

As soon as I saw Azel’s face, I was startled and covered his face with my other hand. No, honestly, at this point I had hit him.

 

Smack!

 

Even the question that reflexively came out in this situation was more of a spectacle.

 

“Y-your face.”

 

“….”

 

“…Your face, what’s wrong with it?”

 

This time even Simoer couldn’t bring himself to laugh, so there was no need to explain further how serious the situation was.

 

“…Ah! S-sorry!”

 

I belatedly realized the problem and offered an apology, but naturally there was no response.

 

*

 

We were currently sitting next to each other in an awkward atmosphere.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

This was the thirteenth apology. In the meantime, the other people had just watched nervously before fleeing, and I had been quietly dragged to the office following Azel.

 

“…I really didn’t do it on purpose.”

 

When I glanced over, the area under Azel’s eyes was still black, which was exactly why I had screamed.

 

Sunken cheeks, pale skin, and the area under his eyes dyed pitch black. Azel’s wretched appearance that had changed in just one night was pitiful.

 

But the real problem was that this was already the second time this had happened.

 

In the past,

 

“Aaaaah, damn! You scared me!”

 

Since I already had a history of screaming and falling over after seeing Azel’s face once before, it was even more pitiful.

 

“…I’m really sorry.”

 

“I know. You can stop apologizing now.”

 

My back was damp with cold sweat.

 

“…Did something happen last night by any chance?”

 

“I couldn’t sleep.”

 

This time it was the same reason as before.

 

“Just how do you not sleep to… No, but you’ve always had consistent insomnia anyway.”

 

“Yesterday was particularly noisy.”

 

Does a body that transcends humanity also have superior hearing? Last night, which I had simply thought was quiet, must have been different for Azel.

 

“Why don’t you get some sleep first?”

 

Having a conversation was important too, but if his condition was this bad, rest came first. However, Azel shook his head.

 

“My head hurts. It’s too noisy.”

 

“Is it still noisy?”

 

“The sounds are too loud.”

 

“Should I bring you some earplugs? I’ll go ask Simoer right away.”

 

This was also rejected. Instead, he asked this:

 

“Why are you being kind?”

 

“…What do you mean. I’ve always been kind.”

 

“I’m the person who confined you. You shouldn’t be kind then.”

 

It was absurd to the point where I wondered who was giving advice to whom.

 

“Look who’s talking. Since we’re on the subject, what person in the world confines someone like that? I thought I had come to some resort for vacation.”

 

A small bitter laugh also escaped from Azel’s mouth.

 

“…Right. I was pretty ridiculous too.”

 

At least he seemed to have some awareness that something was wrong.

 

At this moment, Azel leaned his head on my shoulder just like sometime before. I straightened my back in surprise, but he pressed down on my shoulder gently as if acting spoiled.

 

“This position is a bit troublesome.”

 

“Afraid your heartbeat might be heard?”

 

“…You can hear that?”

 

“Very clearly.”

 

Come to think of it, that was right. This was someone who said even this quiet manor was noisy. There was no way he couldn’t hear my heartbeat when we were this close together.

 

Heat immediately rushed to my face.

 

“From now on, just pretend you can’t hear it.”

 

“From now on?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Do we even have a ‘from now on’? You even pretended to collapse in front of my door just to get the mana suppression device removed.”

 

“…!”

 

I had wondered why the same atmosphere as before was being maintained.

 

‘Well, I did cause all that commotion right after getting up with a perfectly fine face as soon as I tore off the necklace, so I suppose it was understandable he’d misunderstand.’

 

At least fortunately, it wasn’t the explosive atmosphere like before.

 

Azel just looked tired, and I no longer wanted to hurt him.

 

“The necklace was honestly just an excuse, and I came to see you because I wanted to have a serious conversation with you.”

 

Though the atmosphere was somewhat chaotic because of what happened earlier, now it was time to properly bring up what I needed to say.

 

“I’ve been thinking. About how we ended up like this.”

 

Azel quietly listened to what I had to say.

 

“We don’t communicate enough. Even when we meet, we just hide things from each other, and we’ve never really shared our true feelings.”

 

“…”

 

“I think that’s what made me misunderstand you. I don’t dislike you. Even when I hear harsh words sometimes, even when I see your frightening side, this fact won’t change.”

 

He still remained silent.

 

“My leaving isn’t because I dislike you.”

 

“…”

 

“I shouldn’t be by your side. If I stay next to you, we’ll become unhappy someday.”

 

That was the end of my story.

 

Since I had voiced my fundamental fear for the first time, I was now worried about how Azel would respond.

 

But the answer that followed was something I hadn’t even thought of.

 

“I’m already unhappy, so what’s the point of worrying about the future.”

 

Azel surprisingly didn’t ask for reasons.

 

As if it was now his turn, he simply began telling his own story.

 

“Sometimes I hear strange voices.”

 

“…Voices?”

 

“Those voices mock me, and sometimes tell me to destroy the world. That was proof I was going insane.”

 

Azel’s auditory hallucinations were something I didn’t know about.

 

“Until now, I had no reason to refuse what the voices said. Because I wanted to end this damn life, even if it meant doing that.”

 

As I listened intently to this story I was hearing for the first time, he continued speaking.

 

“But then one day, suddenly, you appeared before me.”

 

This too was a story I didn’t know.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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