My Illusion Is Survival - Chapter 66

—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————

Chapter 66

 

‘He heard.’

 

I could tell just by looking at his face.

 

That Azel already knew the reason I had come to this place.

 

‘Don’t be nervous. Just say it.’

 

A tense moment.

 

Just as I opened my mouth after making a firm resolution,

 

“Ah-”

 

“Elpis.”

 

“Zel, …yes?”

 

He naturally cut off my words.

 

“How is your physical training going? Are you seeing any results?”

 

“Ah, that. I’m trying my best for now.”

 

“Just trying isn’t enough. If you’ve made up your mind, you should start in earnest. Building stamina will help you in many ways.”

 

“Then let me run around the training hall. No, that’s not what’s important….”

 

“I told you the training hall is off-limits. If I’m not watching, you’ll mess around swinging wooden swords again, and where will you hurt yourself this time.”

 

Even though it was obvious he was doing this on purpose, I couldn’t help but get swept up by him in an instant.

 

That was because his last words were like pressing my rage button.

 

“Th-that was an accident!”

 

“Liar.”

 

Actually, Azel hadn’t opposed me going to the training hall from the beginning.

 

The day I first tried swinging a wooden sword for practice. The problem was that my footwork got tangled right from the start and I fell flat on my face.

 

“Aah! Aaaah-!”

 

“Miss! Put that down, quickly!”

 

Of course, if that had been all, it wouldn’t have led to a complete ban.

 

The problem was my second attempt.

 

Swoosh- Thwack!

 

“Aah!”

 

“Miss-!”

 

At that time, I achieved the remarkable feat of hitting myself in the back of the head with the wooden sword I had swung myself.

 

Azel, who witnessed the entire scene right before his eyes, fell into tremendous shock.

 

“From now on, all sword-type weapons are forbidden.”

 

“But!”

 

“No, don’t go to the training hall at all. If you want to build stamina, just do bodyweight exercises inside.”

 

‘That was probably the first time I’d seen Azel look so serious.’

 

Thanks to that, even now when I think of that day, the back of my head aches.

 

‘How was I supposed to know this body would be such an extreme klutz. When I was running away, I ran pretty well, so I thought I might have some athletic sense.’

 

This was also why I ended up receiving only stamina training from Ron instead of swordsmanship.

 

However, what we needed to discuss now wasn’t about my cursed talent.

 

“No! That’s not what’s important – I have something to tell you.”

 

Of course, my opponent seemed to have no intention of listening.

 

“You can use magic anyway. There doesn’t seem to be any need to be greedy for swords too.”

 

“…As I said before, I want to practice to prepare for emergencies.”

 

Meanwhile, for some reason, Azel seemed to believe I could use magic.

 

But that was a huge misunderstanding. This damn body had no talent for magic either.

 

‘Of course I know the incantations. But what good does that do when I can’t even sense mana to use them.’

 

Even after practicing using all the miscellaneous knowledge I learned in the game, if I couldn’t feel anything, this was a matter of talent.

 

Since there was no need to reveal that fact, this time I pretended not to know and changed the subject first.

 

“How did Azel know I could use magic? I’ve never used it in front of you.”

 

“…Stopping and rewinding time is ultimately magic too.”

 

His voice was unusually careful as he answered, but I was too busy lamenting my terrible talent to pay attention.

 

‘So Azel thought Gaspata’s blessing was magic after all.’

 

As soon as I thought of Gaspata’s blessing, my expression became even more gloomy.

 

‘Now all I can rely on is the blessing, but honestly, even that is….’

 

Tears blurred my vision at the equally desperate reality.

 

Around that time, I heard him call my name again. His tone was as nonchalant as always.

 

“If you stay by my side, you wouldn’t need to suffer unnecessarily.”

 

“What did you say?”

 

It was just that the content made me doubt my ears.

 

“What you said about preparing for emergencies. It’s ultimately to avoid people who know your identity, right? But you’d be safe by my side.”

 

“…!”

 

“I can protect you. There’s no need to suffer and build up your strength.”

 

The conversation that had taken a long detour was somehow finding its way back to where it belonged. My expression naturally hardened.

 

“That’s impossible.”

 

The atmosphere changed immediately at the words I unconsciously let slip. This was also when Azel’s smile, which he had been forcing, froze.

 

“Why is it impossible.”

 

At his coldly dropped words, I avoided Azel’s gaze for the first time.

 

“There aren’t many days left. I’m going to keep my promise and leave this place.”

 

I finally did it. The gaze touching my cheek hurt piercingly, but I stubbornly refused to lift my head.

 

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’ll be able to see the greenhouse before I leave.”

 

For a while, there was no response.

 

‘I’m sorry to Azel, but this is right.’

 

In the awkward silence, we were each lost in our own thoughts, and Azel was the first to get up.

 

“Did I make you uncomfortable yesterday?”

 

He seemed angry at first glance, but I could tell. The current Azel was in a terribly hurt state.

 

But that’s exactly why I had to be cruel.

 

“It was uncomfortable.”

 

“Why.”

 

“It wasn’t like you to begin with. Don’t try to change because of someone like me.”

 

I heard a hollow laugh from above my head. Like his trembling breath, Azel’s voice was shaking.

 

“You know what? Ever since you came to this place, everyone has been saying the same thing to me.”

 

“Azel.”

 

“That you love me.”

 

“…!”

 

“But you’ve never once told me you love me.”

 

It was true.

 

During all this time, I had pretended to like Azel, but I had never said I liked him. It was naturally intentional behavior.

 

‘I was trying not to upset Azel as much as possible.’

 

Since Azel in the game found Yulia’s confessions uncomfortable, I thought verbal confessions would work against my acting.

 

Now I could never say it for different reasons, but the Azel I knew was someone who didn’t need words like “I like you” at all.

 

“Does that matter?”

 

“It doesn’t matter. Seeing how resolute you are, you’ve already made up your mind.”

 

Suddenly, a dejected voice settled on the floor.

 

“If my behavior made you uncomfortable, I’ll stop.”

 

That was the end of Azel’s response. His retreating figure was cold. Even though he must have known I was watching him, he never once looked back.

 

Seeing him like that made my chest ache.

 

The fact that our relationship would end so simply – ridiculously, I only felt sad about it now.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

In the end, he said nothing.

 

…This is right. This is the right thing to do.

 

The solitary words I muttered to myself felt particularly wretched today.

 

*

 

Late at night.

 

When I returned to the bedroom following Azel’s departure, it was Linoa Marigold who greeted me.

 

After checking my expression, she asked nothing and simply helped me prepare for bed as usual.

 

“Aren’t you going to ask anything?”

 

“I didn’t think you’d want me to.”

 

Her touch as she pulled the blanket up to my neck was as gentle as always.

 

“Linoa Marigold.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Do you think the same as everyone else?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Do you think it’s right for me to stay by Azel’s side?”

 

Yet here I was, deliberately asking her this. It was ridiculous to ask such a thing after I’d already done what I’d done.

 

“If you wish to stay, I’ll remain here. If you wish to leave, I’ll leave with you. Even so, does my answer matter?”

 

“I still want to hear it.”

 

“You need reassurance.”

 

Fortunately, unlike my selfish self, Linoa Marigold was gentle even in this moment.

 

“I don’t know what my master is thinking. So I’ll just tell you what I’ve observed.”

 

“…Thank you.”

 

“From the moment my master first brought you to This Place, he was different from usual.”

 

“How so?”

 

“It was the first time my master had ever hovered around someone, constantly worrying about them.”

 

“Back then, it was probably because of the promise between us.”

 

At my excuse-like words, Linoa Marigold’s eyes curved slightly.

 

“Saying that suggests you think things are different now.”

 

It was a direct hit.

 

“I don’t know what promise you two made, but my master has changed greatly.”

 

Linoa Marigold’s voice continued once more.

 

“There was a decisive moment that made me think he was different.”

—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————