My Illusion Is Survival - Chapter 65

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 65

 

Last night. This was the conclusion I reached after much deliberation.

 

‘This is right. I need to leave this place.’

 

Keeping my promise with Azel and leaving this place. There was no other choice besides this.

 

In fact, making such a fuss over Azel’s changed behavior was more unlike me. If it were the usual me, I would have just asked outright.

 

Do you like me?

 

It was a problem that could be solved with just these few words.

 

But now there was no need to ask such a question.

 

‘As if Azel would go out of his way to take care of such things for just anyone.’

 

Simply remembering something and actually caring about it are completely different matters. Just because something is etched in your mind doesn’t mean it’s proof that you care.

 

‘It was ridiculous to think that Azel wanted anything from me other than stopping the regression. He’s someone who can achieve anything if he sets his mind to it.’

 

That’s why I couldn’t understand it, but after seeing Azel’s appearance yesterday, I finally understood.

 

He simply wanted me to stay here.

 

I couldn’t bring myself to ask Azel about his feelings for me.

 

Because if I truly learned his real feelings, things would become uncontrollable.

 

That was my real fear.

 

‘Of course, I can’t say such things to Simoer.’

 

They wouldn’t understand.

 

“What are you afraid of?”

 

Just then, Simoer asked me the same question.

 

“I originally thought Azel had forgotten all emotions. But he’s affectionate, cries a lot, and is a more complex person.”

 

It would have been better if I had been swayed simply because he was handsome.

 

“As you must have heard, Simoer, there was a time when demonic energy attacked me before. He blocked my path without hesitation.”

 

Thinking about it now, this was the beginning of my wavering.

 

“That was the first time I saw Azel cry. Someone who has forgotten emotions wouldn’t cry for another person.”

 

And that was the problem.

 

“I think I’m starting to understand what kind of person Azel is now, but Azel doesn’t know what kind of person I am.”

 

“Do you resent that he can’t remember?”

 

“Of course not. How dare I resent that person. I’m not that greedy.”

 

“Then why?”

 

Our beginning was a lie.

 

I deceived him, and I have to continue deceiving him.

 

Forcibly continuing a relationship built on lies was dangerous.

 

‘If I stay here, I’ll definitely be found out someday.’

 

I started lying to prevent Azel’s rampage and stop the destruction, but if he found out that my very existence was a lie, Azel would obviously even doubt the fact that the regression had stopped.

 

“I’m not confident I won’t be found out. What kind of person I really am. How selfish and bad I am.”

 

So I had to leave before that fact was discovered.

 

That was the best for both of us.

 

“It was only a month-long encounter anyway. Even if I leave, Azel will be fine soon.”

 

“…Will he?”

 

“So please help me too, Simoer. I really need to prepare to leave now.”

 

Fortunately, Simoer had nothing more to say.

 

“There are many onlookers, so it would be difficult to discuss this in more detail. From what I can see, this news will soon reach Azel.”

 

Instead, as soon as I finished speaking, the group that had been secretly watching us from behind the pillar flinched.

 

My back had been stinging from earlier, so I couldn’t help but notice.

 

“Understood. I’ll help you unless there are orders from my master.”

 

Seeing the great Simoer give such an answer, he had certainly changed a lot too.

 

*

 

“Where will you go?”

 

When I returned to my room and started packing, the people who followed me gathered closely in front of me.

 

“I won’t tell you now. You’ll just go and report that too.”

 

“You’ll be tracked down quickly once you leave here anyway.”

 

“Then I’ll find out when that happens.”

 

Azel wouldn’t think to capture someone who had already left, so that wasn’t a problem.

 

‘More importantly, there’s nothing worth taking.’

 

It was originally a world I had fallen into empty-handed.

 

Thinking about it again, it was a trashy idea, but it was the best option at the time.

 

‘How could I survive with my bare body without a single penny in this harsh world? Who knows when I’d be kidnapped while sleeping on the streets.’

 

At first, I planned to put on a grand show with the items I had collected, then add some touching acting to finish the ritual and extract valuables before leaving.

 

“If you hadn’t become an actor, you really would have become a con artist.”

 

“Sometimes I worry that you might actually end up in jail.”

 

I thought it would work. It was officially recognized acting skill, after all.

 

‘Sorry, little sister. It seems this older sister is destined to live by running cons after all.’

 

Still, once I leave here, I plan to live honestly from then on.

 

‘First, I’ll go to the Lutis Duchy, famous for magic, and sell mana scrolls with inscribed formations.’

 

I knew many useful formations that people weren’t familiar with, so there would be more demand than expected.

 

‘Of course, it would be difficult for me to make the mana scrolls themselves, so I’d need a business partner.’

 

Fortunately, there was someone I could trust with this part. Since I could meet this person once I went to the Lutis Duchy anyway, it wouldn’t be difficult.

 

‘…The problem is that though.’

 

The real problem was something else entirely.

 

“By the way, I’m curious about something. Are they looking for me a lot outside?”

 

“Looking for you?”

 

“The Imperial Court and the Temple.”

 

Immediately, silence fell over the entire room that had been bustling.

 

“You’re not really asking because you don’t know, are you?”

 

“…I suppose that’s right.”

 

Since I had pretended to be a Holy Maiden so thoroughly, it would be stranger if things were quiet. At this rate, I’d have to worry about whether I could safely reach the Lutis Duchy, let alone start a business.

 

“So just stay here.”

 

“That’s right, Miss! Being by our master’s side will be safe!”

 

Not missing that opportunity, I heard tempting voices.

 

But then, I suddenly realized something strange.

 

“Come to think of it, Linoa Marigold isn’t trying to stop me?”

 

Linoa Marigold, who should have been the most enthusiastic about me here, wasn’t saying anything. She looked quiet, almost as if it didn’t concern her at all.

 

“That’s right, Lady Linoa Marigold! The Miss is about to leave this comfortable manor and venture alone into the harsh world, aren’t you worried?”

 

“Why would she be alone? I’ll be going with her.”

 

Only then did I realize what I had overlooked. Linoa Marigold was also no ordinary person.

 

“Did you two make some prior arrangement?”

 

“This is news to me…”

 

“It was such a natural thing that I didn’t think to mention it.”

 

Thinking about it, it was natural. There was no way Linoa Marigold, a fanatic, would give up on the ‘Holy Maiden.’

 

“Though I may be lacking in serving you, Miss, I’m confident with a sword. I’ll protect you so that those ignorant fools won’t be able to touch a single hair on your head.”

 

“What will you tell Azel?”

 

“Anyway, this is a body that betrayed the Temple and came to Master. Even if I betray once more, nothing will change.”

 

People seemed to lose their words at the logic that was not just simple but brazenly confident.

 

However, for me, it was good news. It meant I had gained such a powerful ally.

 

“I love you, Linoa Marigold.”

 

Words I could never say in front of Azel came out so easily just this once.

 

Thanks to that, I was able to make my resolution once again.

 

“Tonight, I’m going to tell Azel that I’m leaving.”

 

I had to tell him properly before it was too late.

 

*

 

And that night.

 

I really went to find Azel.

 

“Azel, I have something to tell you.”

 

As expected, when I opened the door and entered, Azel was waiting for me there.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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