Isn’t Being A Wicked Woman Much Better? - Chapter 118

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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Chapter 118
Deborah Simour wore that distinctive sharp expression she always had when deep in thought as she slowly opened her mouth. With her answer imminent, Isidore’s snow-white knuckles had already tensed with anxiety.
* * *
The morning of our first date. Before meeting Deborah Simour, I flipped a coin several times, as if testing my luck.
In front of clients, I used a defective coin with only the heads side embossed, to give them confidence. But when alone and uncertain, or when complications arose, I habitually flicked a two-sided coin out of habit.
‘I had a feeling she would choose that play, but this is troublesome.’
In truth, the play titled “The Secret of the Northern Grand Duke”—which wasn’t even funny—was something I had arranged with a theater company, selecting a scenario featuring a character in a situation similar to my own, to gauge Deborah’s true feelings.
As the owner of the Theater in the heart of Yones District, changing the play schedule was child’s play for me. Moreover, that play was also a kind of groundwork to reveal my secret.
‘Since she said she wanted to know more about me….’
I fidgeted with the coin, my face slightly pale from tension.
“I want to know more about what kind of person you are, whether I can truly commit my heart to you.”
‘I never expected to hear such words.’
“Let’s try. A stage of getting to know each other.”
In that moment, I felt an impulse to show her everything about myself.
She wanted to build a bond while learning more about each other, and I was drawn to that earnest quality of hers. I thought it was so like Deborah Simour.
‘I even like how she doesn’t accept me at face value.’
To fall for her again because of that.
Yet simultaneously, I realized I had fallen into a trap of my own making. You could call it self-inflicted. I had always used my convincing appearance to easily win others’ favor, while secretly holding their weaknesses through the abundant information I possessed, manipulating them to my will.
It was always I who set the trap and waited for the other to bite the bait. But my relationship with the princess had flowed in the exact opposite direction from all my previous relationships. Because the information I had about her didn’t match reality. I had approached her with my identity hidden, but in that process, my feelings had grown beyond my control. At some point, I could no longer manage it. Rather than wielding control, the leash was now in her hands.
The more I knew her, the more I liked her.
‘I never expected to like her more the better I knew her.’
In Blanche, I had watched her struggle and seize what she wanted, and at the Academy, I had discovered her humane and lovely side. Meanwhile, all she knew of me was half.
I flicked the coin lightly with my finger and caught it on the back of my hand.
‘Tails.’
I flicked it again.
‘Heads.’
She perceived Isidore and Master as two different people, just as the two sides of a coin looked different. But ultimately, they were the same coin.
‘If I tell her that despite appearing completely different on the surface, I was actually the same person….’
I couldn’t imagine her reaction at all. Unlike the usual composed Isidore, indifferent to others’ emotions, I suddenly felt a suffocating tension gripping my chest.
But if I continued hiding and she found out, wouldn’t she think she’d been deceived and become even more disappointed in me?
‘I’m not sure whether I want to keep hiding or tell her everything.’
When it came to her, I couldn’t clearly distinguish the color of my own heart—black or white.
‘It’s difficult.’
I flipped the coin meaninglessly several more times before preparing to go out. Since she had chosen “The Secret of the Northern Grand Duke” as expected from among the various plays I had listed in my letter, my luck had become easier to read.
‘If tails comes up… I’ll tell her today.’
If I continued only hiding, I would remain half in front of her forever.
‘She wants to know, and I don’t have the confidence to keep hiding.’
Before setting the coin down, I flipped it one last time, as if making a vow to myself.
‘Tails.’
…But did I really have to tell her today?
As the date approached, his heart began to flutter with anticipation.
‘If Deborah Simour wears purple, I’ll tell her then.’
The lady arrived dressed in purple. For a moment, feeling as though he should speak, he opened his mouth only to find his throat constrict painfully, and he bit the tender flesh inside his cheek.
‘Rather than deciding based on the color of her dress, it would be better to gauge her reaction to the play first.’
Yet he found himself completely captivated by the way her eyes sparkled as she became absorbed in the performance. Watching her expression shift with each passing moment, he surrendered entirely to the sweetness of this instant.
‘Perhaps it would be better to speak when she mentions wanting to take a walk.’
As they walked side by side along Stone Wall Path, he mentally rehearsed what he would say—that he would speak once they sat together on the wall and admired the view. Yet when they actually sat atop the stone wall side by side, the words refused to come.
Suddenly, Isidore found his own indecisiveness unfamiliar. He had always pitied men who stumbled about intoxicated by love, yet here he was, wavering and unable to find his footing.
In the end, his line happened to coincide with the male lead’s dialogue, and Isidore finally managed to broach the subject.
“What do you think of the Grand Duke? That secretive man….”
He swallowed his anxiety and asked. Deborah Simour pondered for a moment before answering in her characteristically blunt tone.
“I don’t like him.”
“….”
Isidore felt cold sweat prickling across his palms.
“From the perspective of a theater audience, the Grand Duke is certainly mysterious and charming because of his secrets.”
Yet her expression remained cold, as if to say that was all.
“But he’s absolutely not someone who would be good to a lover.”
“….”
Her frigid expression struck him as though he himself had received those words, and his heart sank.
“In the end, the female lead got betrayed without warning by the person she loved.”
She wore an expression of clear displeasure.
“I don’t really like people who suddenly stab others in the back.”
Though she was hardly the type to suffer such treatment, she spoke flatly as though she had been betrayed countless times. Isidore hesitated for a moment before carefully offering a counterargument.
“But if the Grand Duke had revealed his identity and approached her from the start, the female lead would never have had the chance to grow close to him.”
“Hmm.”
She swung her legs slowly back and forth, her expression subtle, but Isidore failed to notice as he continued speaking slowly.
“The Grand Duke never acted with any particularly malicious intent toward the female lead….”
“Interestingly, Knight Isidore seems to be empathizing with the Northern Grand Duke. For a moment, I thought you were his spokesman.”
“….”
“I naturally assumed you’d take the female lead’s side. You’re considerate and have a strong sense of chivalry.”
“I’m not particularly considerate. I’m not affectionate either.”
As he spoke those words like a sigh, a rough wind swept between them. Her long purple hair whipped in all directions, brushing against Isidore’s cheek. His golden hair too became disheveled across his pale forehead.
“That’s a lie.”
In that moment, she reached out and gently arranged her tousled hair, and Isidore forgot to breathe. Gazing into her crimson eyes, he almost grasped the hand that lingered near his forehead, but he bit his lip instead.
“I’ve never met anyone as meticulous and thorough in their preparations as you.”
“Isn’t that only natural? When the other person is you.”
Had she not appeared in his life, he would never have woken at dawn to verify the date route. He had long since distanced himself from empathy, and kindness and attentiveness had frozen solid within him.
‘It’s only because it’s you. Only because it’s you. Fool.’
His heart burning, he unconsciously let slip the informal address.
“Ah….”
Deborah Simour let out a short exclamation and rubbed her flushed cheeks, but in the darkness, Isidore couldn’t see her expression.
He wished he could do something more impressive, but his knowledge was limited. Until now, he had gone out of his way to avoid any woman who approached him, and Miguel was equally inexperienced in matters of romance. So he was simply acting on impulse, moment by moment.
“If you practice cutting steak together and someone still says you’re not affectionate, who would believe that?”
“Everyone does that much.”
Isidore was taking the knights’ casual remarks as literal truth.
“That can’t be right. Ah, it’s getting late—I should go.”
She slowly lowered herself down.
“Be careful. Step here.”
Isidore jumped hastily from the stone wall and quickly positioned his boot so her feet wouldn’t touch the ground.
“Put them on.”
While she stood on his instep, he neatly arranged her shoes and placed them on the ground.
“I enjoyed today.”
Once she had put on both shoes, she lifted her lips into a faint smile.
“….”
Faced with that smiling expression, he found himself even more speechless. Everything was a situation of his own making. His vaunted information network and wealth proved utterly useless.
‘I’m going mad.’
After seeing her off in the carriage, he furrowed his brow slightly and ran his hand roughly through his hair.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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