Instead of My Beloved Sister, I Married a Monster - Chapter 73
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 73
After pouring down such strong liquor that his nose went numb, at least his tongue could no longer feel any sensation.
Having achieved his intended goal of losing his reason, Ram then moved to his research room.
He then struggled to drag out from the storage room his memory box, which he had deliberately wrapped tightly with various locks to avoid using.
Thanks to his careful preservation, the item’s condition was still perfectly intact without a single flaw.
‘Well, I haven’t used it in a long time either.’
Ram let out a sigh of relief and soon threw himself backward without any hesitation.
Then a soft mattress touched his back.
He had moved his body onto his bedroom bed before falling onto the cold floor.
Ram infused power into the lamp in his hand and carefully placed it on the nightstand. It was an artifact that would let him revisit desired memories while he slept.
Memory-evoking magical tools were quite diverse in variety due to high demand, but Ram particularly favored this lamp among them all.
Because it used dreams as a medium, it made him experience those situations as if they were reality during the moments of use.
Or at least made him believe so.
If there was one problem, it was precisely that tremendous implementation ability.
The reason the advantage became a disadvantage was simple. It made him want to continue living only in dreams.
About 80% of the reason Seven had started staying permanently at this castle was because of this lamp.
One day, he had visited Litberg Castle and discovered Ram lying there, refusing food and drink, which shocked him into volunteering to keep watch.
Thinking of the friend who had suffered for his sake back then, using this item again did prick his conscience a little…
‘Friend, I’m sorry.’
Today, he really had no choice.
Ram quickly erased his friend’s face from his mind and rested his head on the pillow. Then he thought of his beloved wife.
‘Darling, I’m sorry.’
Though it was to save someone’s life, I ended up kissing another woman.
I feel as if I’ve become like Seven from the old days when he was dissolute.
I want to atone with death, but the wait has been so long that I can no longer readily follow you.
You always wanted me to quickly forget you, but for me, that’s not such an easy matter.
Just as he muttered such complaints, Ram fell into unconsciousness.
His body was warm for a moment, as if submerged in the lamp’s light, then soon bone-chilling cold rushed in.
Before he knew it, it was winter.
“Aren’t you cold dressed so lightly?”
No matter how many times he heard it again, it was a voice he didn’t like.
Even though he liked her back then too, why had he stubbornly refused to admit that fact with unnecessary pride?
If he had known his time with her would be so short, he would have treasured each of these moments more.
Ram regretted it as always, but this was merely a tool that showed the past.
He couldn’t warm her body as he wished, or take off his coat for her, or tell her he was worried she might catch a cold.
Ram gazed with distant feelings at Nina’s back as she walked several steps ahead of him.
She had answered spiritedly that this much was fine, but at some point she suddenly stopped and turned toward him.
Through the swirling snowflakes, he could see her face with her nose tip reddened.
She was beautiful.
“Aren’t you cold?”
“Do I look like you? I’d be fine even walking around naked, so worry about yourself. Don’t cause trouble again by failing to manage your condition.”
But why is this guy really so rude?
As he remembered, he seemed to want to create an excuse to take off his clothes for her, but just listening to what he said, he was just trash acting superior.
Perhaps because it had been so long since he’d taken out the lamp, even though this was a scene he’d replayed many times, his own way of speaking felt much harsher than he remembered.
Ram suppressed the strong urge to hit his younger self and focused on Nina’s reaction.
In reality, there was no other way to get revenge on himself besides slapping his own face.
“Still, don’t go around naked. You might not catch a cold, but that doesn’t mean you’re not cold.”
Nina, who had given such gentle advice, turned back and approached him.
Hearing his question about whether she was cold, she thought he was complaining about the weather.
She naturally linked arms with him and pulled his hand, which had been hanging there dumbly, to intertwine their fingers.
He didn’t feel any warmer then or now, but it didn’t matter.
Nina hadn’t pressed her body against his with the intention of adding warmth anyway.
“This doesn’t make it any warmer, you know.”
“Hmm, I thought it was a pretty good excuse though…”
“…”
“Oh, your hand is suddenly getting hot. Did you use magic?”
Nina teased him, pretending to be surprised.
If it were him now, he would have made the atmosphere warm with even more embarrassing words, but back then he was just young.
He was a pathetic young man who didn’t know what to do with his first love.
The sulky twenty-year-old began spouting rude words again, using hurt pride as an excuse.
“You said you were married to your ex-husband in name only, but was that a lie? Why are you so skilled at holding a man’s hand?”
“Oh my, Agrham. It’s rude to ask a woman such things.”
At Nina’s elegant rebuke, his younger self closed his mouth.
Though immature, he wasn’t so brainless as to not know that what he’d just said was improper.
It was an era when marrying children who weren’t even adults yet to avoid conscription was common.
Since unmarried young men were prioritized over men with families for mobilization, early marriages naturally increased.
When everyone got married this way, eventually they ended up recruiting soldiers regardless of marital status.
She probably lost her nominal husband at such a young age too.
Still, marriage was marriage, and Ram couldn’t help but be inwardly conscious of her ex-husband.
This became even more true after he once heard her praise the man as very mature and wonderful.
Not only had he harbored one-sided wariness toward a man whose face he didn’t even know, but he had even displayed it in front of Nina.
Feeling pathetic about himself, Ram asked with deflated energy.
“Why do you like me?”
Though he had written somewhat embarrassing history at a young age, this was still a scene Ram particularly loved.
Just because he was pathetic didn’t mean she was too.
Ram soon watched particularly carefully for her nose bridge, which would scrunch up adorably.
Then he waited for her answer, which was always new and thrilling no matter how often he heard it.
“Because you’re handsome?”
Oh, how obvious.
Being called handsome was praise he’d always heard, but when she was the one saying it, somehow it felt different.
But what was truly meaningful were the words that followed.
“But I would have liked you even if you were ugly.”
Nina, who was relaxed and mature, always one step above him.
Though he’d never deliberately compared his second wife to her, Ram thought they were very different types of people.
To put it this way.
If Evnia was someone Ram had to lift up, Nina was someone who had lifted him up. Always taking the lead to inspire the will to live…
“When I first met you, I really wanted to die.”
Well, suddenly a somewhat similar situation had come up, but anyway, this was about the past.
The truly important story always appeared later.
“I lost my family and lost my hometown, and after being unwillingly pushed to a strange foreign land, this world somehow didn’t seem like the world I knew anymore. If it was going to be like this, there was no need to live anymore. I should just close my eyes and die… That’s what I was thinking. But after meeting you, I wanted to live again.”
“…”
“Somehow, when I was with you, it seemed like it would be okay to try living a little more.”
He had wanted to answer her the same way.
That he too had been able to endure because she was there in his moments of wanting to die.
That it wasn’t him who saved her, but probably her who saved him.
But this ill-mannered young man just kept his mouth tightly shut, maintaining only silence.
He bit his lips so hard that the taste of blood spread in his mouth.
Watching him like that, Nina smiled softly. As if she already knew his heart completely.
She quietly stopped walking and reached toward his face. Then, gently rubbing his lips with her soft fingertips, she said.
“You must be cold after all. Your lips are chapped.”
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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