I’m Sick of the Kind Protagonist, so I Might as Well Just Die - Chapter 53

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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#53
Leonas Hagpethar Yuletanis glared at the Gazebo with eyes that could devour, then spun around and kicked the Balcony door shut with his foot. After drawing the curtains closed as well, he tossed me onto the Sofa without ceremony.
“This is unbearable.”
He muttered in an exhausted voice, then pushed me aside like discarded luggage, creating distance between us on the Sofa. I found myself staring absently into the void, wondering if the Gods were still watching—until I understood the reason.
‘I don’t feel their gaze at all!’
How liberating this felt after so long.
Only after repeatedly drawing upon my senses to confirm it did I finally relax, slumping against the Sofa. Leonas seemed indifferent to whether I sat or lay down.
“Since it’s just the two of us… aren’t you genuinely unsettled by this World?”
“….”
“You don’t need to answer. I was just speaking carelessly because it felt awkward.”
Leonas glanced sideways at my expression, and the moment our eyes met, he confessed without hesitation.
“I’m actually wavering.”
“If you’re wavering… does that mean you’re beginning to favor me as well, not just Bilateia Fernichiosa Venisike?”
“Don’t play dumb when you’ve already heard everything from Bilateia Fernichiosa Venisike.”
I answered only with a laugh. He glared at me quite sharply, then drooped his shoulders with visible fatigue and sighed deeply.
“The Professor is a God, but the Ancient Gods are like the Professor’s Professor, understand? So my mind knows it’s wise to side with them….”
“But you can’t bring yourself to slit Perenustus’s throat because of loyalty?”
“It’s not so much loyalty as….”
Leonas pondered for a long moment, searching for an analogy I could easily grasp.
“As a lowly foot soldier, my direct superior is far more terrifying than those generals towering impossibly high above?”
“Ah.”
He lowered the arm that had rested on his forehead and stared at me intently, as if questioning whether I truly understood. I nodded confidently and asked.
“So?”
“So what.”
“You’re not the type to speak carelessly, Leonas. There must be a reason you mentioned wavering.”
Leonas regarded me with an inscrutable expression, then turned his gaze back to the ceiling.
“…I don’t know anymore. I can’t distinguish where my greed ends and my sincerity begins, where the Professor’s trap starts and where the Ancient Gods’ snare begins.”
“The fact that you’re telling me so openly suggests I’ve earned considerable trust from you.”
“Do you know how many times you’ve died in this World? How many times Bilateia Fernichiosa Venisike and I have witnessed it? No matter how callous a person is, witnessing someone in similar circumstances endure such things naturally builds a kind of internal intimacy.”
“That’s rather touching. I thought you were a cold, exemplary student—unlike Bilateia Fernichiosa Venisike, anyway.”
I straightened my posture and spoke with genuine admiration. Though it was meant as praise, Leonas seemed offended and pinched my cheek firmly.
“Ow!”
“You should feel pain when I pinch you!”
“Listen, Leonas.”
“What.”
“You understand the rules of this World, don’t you?”
“The rule is essentially singular: indulge your desires.”
“Right. But whose desires and in what manner—that’s never been defined.”
Leonas furrowed his brow. I continued speaking, my cheek still pinched.
“Whether it’s the desire of the Grand Duke Leonas in this World, or the desire of the top Academy student Leonas—that distinction was never established.”
“….”
“And we’ve also witnessed strange status windows appearing whenever the Ancient Gods react violently. The Ancient Gods don’t care one bit how strangely this world operates as long as it amuses them. Absolutely not.”
Leonas Hagpethar Yuletanis fell silent for a moment, then very slowly withdrew his hand from my cheek.
“So, what are you really trying to say?”
“Forget about your direct superior or any general—the answer is to push forward with what you truly desire.”
“….”
“You don’t need to cooperate with the Ancient Gods to transition to other worlds. You can simply pursue all the adventures you crave right here.”
In that instant, his crimson eyes trembled violently. But the tremor didn’t last long.
“The ‘Grand Duke Leonas’ of this world is a madman so consumed by obsession that he’s imprisoned the ‘collateral Imperial Princess Aurelia’ here like this. What adventure would such a man pursue?”
“It’s simple if you claim the real reason you’ve confined me here is because of that adventure. I’m your only accomplice and partner—you’ve merely been playing the role of a proper nobleman to evade the eyes of others, including the Imperial Princess.”
Perhaps my temptation had struck a chord. A considerable tremor rippled through Leonas Hagpethar Yuletanis’s eyes.
“You’re my accomplice….”
His already low voice resonated even deeper as he repeated my words. Sensing his interest, I pressed further.
“Does the ‘Grand Duke Leonas’ established in this world suit your nature?”
“Are you asking because you don’t know?”
“I also find this ‘collateral Imperial Princess Aurelia’ utterly, utterly, utterly incompatible with me.”
Leonas Hagpethar Yuletanis nodded briefly in understanding. I mirrored his gesture.
“Did you see Perenustus and Bilateia Fernichiosa Venisike huddled together over there plotting something? In your opinion, what bait would be tempting enough for Bilateia Fernichiosa Venisike to suddenly side with Perenustus?”
“…Was the proposal to push Bilateia Fernichiosa Venisike as the sole top student rather than a co-valedictorian?”
Leonas Hagpethar Yuletanis’s gaze shifted.
“Hah. Bilateia Fernichiosa Venisike will eventually pay dearly for that greed someday.”
“So you like Bilateia Fernichiosa Venisike because she’s someone who openly indulges her desires and anger instead of suppressing and enduring like you do?”
“….”
Leonas Hagpethar Yuletanis quietly averted his gaze elsewhere. Watching his stubborn profile, I pressed my advantage further.
“Bilateia Fernichiosa Venisike is moving in league with Perenustus, so it would be boring if you just sat idle. So focus entirely on this: the Leonas of this world already has the title of Grand Duke, which is considerable—so why would he usurp the throne?”
“Aurelia…. You still haven’t grasped the setting? The Leonas of this world is the illegitimate son of a previous Grand Duke who couldn’t even receive his father’s surname, so naturally he fell for the precious collateral Imperial Princess and sought to monopolize her. There’s no need to—”
“No! Not the original world’s setting!”
I struck my chest in frustration, raising my voice.
“We’re not in a romantic relationship! Think of a plausible setting that anyone would accept—that we’re comrades united toward the same goal!”
Sadly, this model student so faithful to the script seemed unable to comprehend my meaning. I belatedly empathized with the earlier Perenustus, who had been constantly frustrated by my incomprehensibility, and began explaining again, step by step.
“This won’t do. Listen, forget all those original settings you’ve been reciting so diligently! Erase them completely from your mind!”
“It’s not as easy as you make it sound. Both Bilateia Fernichiosa Venisike and I have practiced nothing but that our entire lives, and we practice it so well that we’re the Academy’s top students.”
“This is an emergency. Would you consult a textbook during an emergency? If I say erase it, then erase it!”
“…Suppose I erased it.”
A rather uncertain response came back. I glared at the rigid model student with furrowed brows and continued my instructions.
“Imagine this place as the world of adventure you’ve been so desperate to reach. Not affection or confinement—a world completely packed with spraying blood, combat, and intrigue.”
“….”
“In such a world, you were born as the illegitimate son of a nobleman. A boy who didn’t even know his father was nobility, who lived as a rural youth, eventually seized the Grand Duke House and even set his sights on the imperial throne. Why did you climb so fiercely?”
“When I lived as a boy in the remote stable, I harbored an unrequited love for Aurelia—”
“No! I told you to forget that kind of setting!”
I grabbed his head with both hands and shook it vigorously, as if wringing out laundry. He chuckled at the absurdity of it all, yet obediently swayed along with my movements.
“There, I’ve emptied your head completely! There’s no such thing as unrequited love! So then, why does Leonas in this world carry the Imperial Princess on his back as he enters the Imperial Palace, and lock Aurelia, a member of the collateral Imperial Family, away in a secret chamber?”
“…While we’re clearing my head, can I be honest about one frustration that’s been building up?”
“Now’s the perfect time to speak honestly—there’s no one listening, no one watching.”
Leonas carefully surveyed the empty surroundings before leaning close to whisper in my ear.
“The whole premise doesn’t make sense from the start—usurping the throne just to possess some collateral member of the Imperial Family you’re infatuated with. I’ve never understood this love-hate dynamic, or whatever it is, that the Professor set up. Not even once.”

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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