I’m Sick of the Kind Protagonist, so I Might as Well Just Die - Chapter 5

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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#05
Tap. Tap. Tap.
I held my breath and turned my gaze toward the window. Small pebbles struck against the glass in rapid succession, as though someone were hurling them deliberately.
I crept forward with measured steps, my footfalls silent. The moment I drew back the half-drawn curtain and assumed a defensive stance—
“…What?”
A single flower thrust itself into my line of sight. It was a flower arranged in a vase.
‘What in the world is this….’
Before I could finish the thought, the person holding the vase grinned widely beyond the thin glass and waved. It was the Emperor.
‘What kind of situation is this now?’
I had no time to adjust my appearance before I hastily opened the window leading to the balcony.
“Your Majesty? Why are you in a place like this….”
“Perhaps we should start by you accepting this first.”
Rather than offering a proper explanation, the Emperor extended the flower still arranged in its vase. It appeared he had simply taken it from a table or desk where it had been displayed.
Uncertain how to respond to this situation, I merely stared down at the vase, and he let out an awkward cough.
“I suddenly remembered and came in haste.”
“….”
“Next time I’ll prepare proper flowers, so would you forgive me just this once?”
I could hardly refuse the Emperor, so I accepted the vase he was urging upon me. Still, I wanted to ask what on earth he had suddenly remembered, but the words wouldn’t come.
“I thought we might take a walk together and talk.”
“….”
“The Night Garden at the Imperial Palace is quite lovely.”
He showed no sign of entertaining refusal, already climbing atop the balcony railing and extending his hand toward me. I gazed at the large hand thrust before my face, fighting the urge to sigh.
I had neither the means nor the reason to decline.
‘Let’s go. I wasn’t sleeping anyway.’
The hand of a man I was touching for the first time in my life was larger, longer, and firmer than it appeared. I grasped the Emperor’s hand, and the moment I leaped up onto the rather high railing, I immediately jumped down into the garden.
“…Heh.”
The Emperor looked down at me from above with a bewildered expression, letting out a soft laugh.
Only then did I belatedly realize he had intended to carry me down.
“Ah. My family’s estate sits in a high and treacherous location… it’s become habitual.”
I offered excuses with my eyes squeezed shut. The Emperor chuckled softly before landing silently beside me with perfect precision.
“Silverdragoon resides there, and the Evergreen Family Territory sits in such a high and rugged place. I’ve long wished to visit it.”
“…The head of the family would be honored to hear that, Your Majesty.”
“Would they, indeed.”
He replied with an enigmatic tone and extended his hand. This time, I placed my hand upon his palm with the grace befitting a noblewoman.
“It seems you’re unaccustomed to taking evening walks with someone.”
“Yes, I tend to retire early and rise early.”
I couldn’t fathom what part of my answer amused him so. Suddenly, the Emperor tilted his head back and began laughing loudly.
We strolled slowly through the Night Garden, wrapped in the fabric of his broad, resonant laughter. The night was almost painfully beautiful—moonlight and flowers alike—making everything feel strange and ticklish.
“Have you written the letter?”
“Ah. So you came to inspect my correspondence.”
The Emperor burst into laughter once more.
I grew increasingly bewildered, unable to discern which aspect of me he found so amusing. The more my confusion deepened, the louder his laughter became.
How long had we been walking since I first felt the unfamiliar sensation of his hand clasping mine, awkwardly fidgeting with the vase he’d placed in my arms? Suddenly, something felt wrong.
Without my noticing, the Emperor and I had wandered down an excessively isolated path.
‘I was aware he wanted to converse in a quiet place away from prying eyes, but this isn’t merely quiet—’
He and I were standing in a truly pitch-black void, utterly devoid of anything.
“Your Majesty, this place is….”
“Ah, you’ve noticed?”
Formal speech?
The Emperor’s tone suddenly shifted. Gone was the dignified voice from moments before, replaced by something far more relaxed and natural.
“This is the System Blind Spot. It’s one of the few precious spaces where I can escape the natural order and simply be myself.”
System? Natural order?
“It seems you’ve been thrust into this ‘world’ for the first time.”
The Emperor’s expression had transformed completely as he smiled softly.
The authoritative air that seemed sharp enough to draw blood had vanished entirely. In an instant, he’d become like a familiar neighborhood boy I’d known for years.
“Your Majesty, I’m quite confused right now.”
“Speak freely. I brought you here because I consider you my only true friend, Meriel von Evergreen.”
“Speak freely, you say….”
“We’re in similar circumstances, so I’d appreciate it if you’d treat me casually. Perhaps my situation is even more troublesome than yours.”
He laughed while scratching his head, his expression suggesting he didn’t quite know how to explain.
“I’m truly unsuited to being Emperor. The aptitude test at the Academy determined I’d be better suited as an advisor or a supporting-role escort knight, yet somehow I ended up cast as this arrogant Emperor in some grandiose narrative.”
He shook his head with a deep sigh.
“It’s truly exhausting.”
Academy? Aptitude test?
Again, incomprehensible words tumbled forth. While I struggled to grasp his meaning, he suddenly collapsed onto the pitch-black floor, spreading out the outer robe he wore as a makeshift cushion. He patted it invitingly.
When I hesitated, he extended his arm and gently pulled me down to sit beside him on the fabric.
“Let’s rest here for a moment. You can’t imagine how relieved I am to finally have someone to confide in like this, Meriel von Evergreen.”
“Ah… then… you’re also like me….”
“Exactly. I was originally supposed to play a minor role. At best, I should have been a supporting character pining after the Female Lead, but when I came to my senses—”
He stretched his arms gracefully and shrugged, drawing out his words.
“This is what became of it.”
Deep exhaustion permeated his voice as he mimicked the Emperor’s tone.
His affectionate smile, tinged with weariness, gradually faded as shadows fell across his face.
“Since it’s just the two of us here, I’ll tell you something.”
“Yes.”
“You saw the Falkenstein Daughter earlier… Adelaine, right?”
I nodded in response.
He mirrored my nod, then gently touched the elaborate flower I held in my arms with his fingertip.
“I’ve had feelings for Adelaine since my Academy days. All this time.”
“…I see.”
“I’ve spent so long secretly harboring feelings for someone, and the thought of imprisoning them, crushing them with force, destroying their mind… I didn’t think I could ever do such a thing. So I hid here alone and wept every day. Among coercion, devastation, and regret, I’m confident I could manage regret quite well, but those first two? I simply couldn’t bring myself to do them.”
He lifted his gaze to meet mine.
“I was at the point where I thought it might be better if I simply died, but the moment Meriel von Evergreen appeared, the direction of this story shifted ever so slightly. Honestly, until that strange fog began to spread, I wasn’t sure how to handle this situation… but now my mind is completely at ease.”
He smiled with disarming simplicity and extended his right hand.
“I’ll do my best, so let’s work hard together, shall we?”
The moment I found myself grasping the Emperor’s hand in a handshake, my chest tightened again, and I couldn’t help but furrow my brow.
This man, Adelaine, everyone—they were all doing their utmost in their respective roles. Was it truly right for me to intrude among people wrestling with their own concerns and efforts, only to alter the predetermined flow?
“Your Majesty.”
I opened my mouth carefully.
“Adelaine… she must have believed she would become Empress, yes?”
“Of course she would have. Naturally.”
“Then for both Your Majesty and Adelaine to become the true protagonists of this story as originally written…”
I paused for a moment before continuing.
“While also ensuring that Your Majesty doesn’t treat Adelaine brutally as you might wish, and that the two of you live together happily for a long time… how could that possibly happen?”
The Emperor laughed softly as though hearing a dream, gazing upward. After chuckling several times, he stared into the empty air with a face radiant with joy at mere imagination and answered.
“Well, right now Meriel von Evergreen is the designated Empress-to-be. Since we’re currently proceeding with a perfectly orthodox and stable romance, there’s no real need to introduce any changes here.”
“I know that. But still, I’m asking you to imagine it.”
“It’s impossible even in imagination. I’ve already firmly decided that the Falkenstein Daughter won’t do.”
“But surely as one lives, there are always small possibilities, variables, and such things, aren’t there?”
“Not in this story. Unless Meriel von Evergreen suffers some major incident that provides a convincing plot twist, this current setting is fixed.”
A major incident.
I rose to my feet, etching the hint he’d given me not in my mind but in my heart.
“Then… shall we head back now?”
This time, I extended my hand to the Emperor. He gazed at my hand for a moment, then smiled and grasped it.
“You’re quite diligent. I was hoping to rest a bit longer.”
“Because I still haven’t written the letter Your Majesty commanded.”
His lips twitched as he gently swung the hand he held with mine. Like children returning from an outing, we made our way back the way we’d come, swinging our joined hands.
“This time, grant me the honor of escorting you.”
“I can assure you, when it comes to scaling walls and vaulting fences, I’m far more skilled than Your Majesty. If we’re to have an escort, it should be me escorting you.”
The Emperor snorted and placed his hand on the railing. I matched his snort and launched myself toward the balcony without yielding.
Recalling memories of climbing trees in competition with village children when I was very young, I flexed my arms, and laughter burst forth unbidden.
“Going first is cheating, Meriel.”
“Where I come from, people who move only as gracefully as Your Majesty don’t even earn their evening meal.”
“Ha.”
The Emperor, provoked, seized my ankle and yanked me downward.
I barely stifled a scream and cursed as I scrambled back up. The Emperor and I cleared the railing nearly simultaneously, and like mischievous children succeeding in a night escapade, we held our breath and laughed.
“My foot touched down first.”
“No? I climbed up with one hand while holding a vase, so you should account for that handicap.”
“You don’t think I handed you the vase precisely to give you that advantage?”
“Wow. You’re that underhanded?”
I let out a soft chuckle as I crossed the railing ahead of the Emperor and stepped into my room.
“You both seem to be enjoying yourselves.”
Adelaine sat in a chair as though it were her own room, regarding us with those large eyes brimming with cold betrayal.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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