I’m Sick of the Kind Protagonist, so I Might as Well Just Die - Chapter 1

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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#01
A world overflowing with platitudes masquerading as wisdom.
If someone asked me to pick the most absurd lie from the endless stream of arrogance surrounding me, I wouldn’t hesitate to choose this one.
【Effort is always rewarded.】
I could prove just how insane that statement is. Truly.
The reason I’m sitting here listening to the most ridiculous accusation of my life is precisely because of that—I succeeded through relentless effort.
‘The reward for effort is nothing but bullshit.’
Until I fell asleep, I was a hero.
A warrior who defeated the Silver Dragon that threatened the Kingdom.
After three years of steadfast dedication, I finally severed the neck of that colossal beast—a savior.
The people cheered, the King himself raised his cup in celebration, and for four days of festivities, everyone chanted my name.
But now?
“What is your name?”
The moment I opened my eyes in a barren room surrounded by gray walls on all sides, a flamboyantly dressed man looked down at me and asked this.
I simply stared at him without bothering to answer.
He was a remarkably ornate person. As ornate as his appearance was, everything he wore, draped, and adorned was equally flamboyant—clearly a nobleman raised delicately within the Castle walls from birth.
The deep exhaustion etched into his nearly perfect features oddly captivated my gaze. This man, who seemed to bear all the world’s weariness and resignation upon himself alone, repeated the same question endlessly like a broken machine.
“Are you listening? I’m asking what your name is.”
“…My name?”
I was about to answer as if he’d asked something obvious, but I suddenly caught my breath.
‘Wait… what did the Village people call me?’
I couldn’t remember my name.
That name, naturally given to everyone, simply wouldn’t come to mind.
‘Did I… live without a name…?’
I quickly shut my mouth, which had fallen open like a fool, and observed the man’s expression. He raised one eyebrow slightly, displeased with my reaction.
Even that arrogant gesture was beautiful enough to be admirable. I stared at this excessively ornate man with a guilty conscience and forced out an answer.
“My name is…”
“Yes.”
“At the Castle, they called me… the Warrior… sir?”
Even to my own ears, it sounded foolish.
As expected, the man’s eyes, which had been fixed on me, turned cold. His gaze contained both contempt and pity simultaneously.
“I’m asking for your name. Not a title.”
“Ah… I’m not deliberately avoiding the answer, but it seems I might not actually have a name?”
That’s when it struck me.
I truly, genuinely had no name.
I had never been called by a proper name in my entire life.
At the same time, I couldn’t even remember how many years my ‘entire life’ actually was.
‘I don’t know my own age or name? Why…?’
Chills ran down my spine.
The man, noticing my shock, softened his expression and gently struck the empty air. From where his hand touched, an ice-transparent and solid table and chair materialized.
“I am Perenustus, the creator and administrator of this world.”
The man introduced himself without giving me a moment to react to the table and chair that had materialized from nothing, even adding an exasperated sigh for good measure.
“Thanks to you, I’ve been saddled with the position of Chairman of the Paradox Correction Committee. So rather than my name, please address me as Chairman—with a healthy dose of guilt, if you would.”
I rolled the ornate and grandiose name around in my mind a few times before tilting my head.
“But why is that my fault…?”
“Because your very existence is a catastrophic error. An anomaly that disrupts the natural order of the world I designed.”
The answer came without the slightest hesitation. I lowered my eyes, feeling as though I had become a criminal.
I couldn’t even explain why I felt this way.
Perhaps it was simply the complexity in Perenustus’s gaze as he looked at me.
His eyes held the look of someone observing a troublesome puzzle with no easy solution—and yet, they weren’t filled with mere contempt.
“Well then. Since I’ve explained everything, let me ask one final question. What is your name?”
“I’m telling you, I really don’t seem to have a name.”
The moment I gave that faltering answer, a silver dragon’s severed head materialized in the empty space above the table and began shrieking.
Silver blood dripped from the severed neck, melting and grotesquely corroding the pristine table.
“I’m going to curse you! Give me permission to curse you right now!”
As the situation became increasingly unbelievable, I found myself backing away before my senses finally caught up.
“W-wait…? But I definitely killed that silver dragon…!”
“Damn it, this lunatic has a talent for turning my stomach!”
The severed neck lunged forward until it was nearly touching my fingertips, bellowing at me.
“That’s right! You killed me, and that’s why I’m like this! You’re such a massive bug that the world can’t restore me to my original state!”
Every time the silver dragon thrashed about, silver liquid sprayed in all directions from its severed neck.
I couldn’t comprehend the situation at all. All I could do was stare at Perenustus with a bewildered expression.
“Am I dreaming right now? I definitely severed this dragon’s neck myself, didn’t I? So why is a dead dragon…?”
“Why is he like this? Doesn’t he even realize he’s dead and here?”
The silver dragon scoffed at me, my expression half-vacant.
I alternated my gaze between the composed Perenustus and the silver dragon’s vicious sneer, only belatedly understanding what the dragon had said.
“I’m… dead?”
“Look at that stupid face. Hey, Bug! Don’t space out—look at me! You ambushed me while I was in a deep slumber and severed my neck, and now I’m like this!”
“…Now that I think about it, this is absurd. If I hadn’t killed you, everyone in our village would have died for certain. It’s written plainly in the legends. Was I supposed to just accept that fate with my eyes open?”
“Of course. Your village was created specifically to be slaughtered according to legend.”
The silver dragon continued to scoff relentlessly.
I had no idea how to process this situation, so I could only gape like a fool.
“Sigh…”
Perenustus let out a habitual sigh.
Whether it was sympathy or simply a desire to end this exhausting situation quickly, the man with the inscrutable gaze continued his explanation in a weary voice.
“As you yourself just acknowledged, you are an existence that was never even given a name. You were nothing more than an extra—a background character passing through the narrative.”
He paused for a moment, observing me intently.
“But such an existence severed the silver dragon’s neck and became a hero, creating a serious problem throughout the entire worldview. Your village was a place that should have been destroyed without exception according to the 【Law of Comedy-Tragedy Conservation】.”
Everything that came from Perenustus’s mouth was incomprehensible.
Worldview?
What in the world is this “law of comedic-tragic equilibrium”?
“Do you understand now? Because you needlessly preserved a region that should have been thoroughly destroyed, a grave error has been introduced into the entire worldview. This gathering exists to hold you accountable for that transgression.”
“Wait a moment. I feel deeply wronged here. The way you’re speaking makes it sound like my crime was actually trying to save a Village that was supposed to be destroyed.”
“Precisely correct.”
“That’s exactly why I’m wronged! Everyone is the protagonist of their own life, and the value of that life lies in doing one’s absolute best! Why should someone like you arbitrarily decide and judge that?”
Perenustus’s eyebrow twitched ever so slightly.
“Do you comprehend what you are saying… and are you truly speaking with that understanding?”
“Yes. It was written in a book.”
“What book.”
“A book that heroes who came to slay the dragon left behind in the Village….”
Perenustus’s gaze grew increasingly fierce—so much so that even I, who had not flinched when striking down the Silver Dragon’s neck, found myself shrinking back and stammering my reply.
He swept his gaze over me with eyes frozen solid as ice, then tilted his head at an angle.
“Did you truly believe a background character—less than a nameless extra—would be granted the intellectual capacity to read, comprehend, and exert effort?”
“….”
“All that was permitted to you was mere ‘existence.’ Everything else you did constitutes an error.”
“What are you saying…. So I should have simply stood by while the Silver Dragon destroyed the entire Village?”
“Yes.”
Perenustus answered with absolute conviction.
“Only then would a true hero emerge and the grand epic of a new age begin.”
He who had answered so firmly now fixed me with an unwavering stare.
“You acknowledge that you killed the Silver Dragon?”
“…Yes.”
“Silphy, did you hear that?”
I watched Perenustus gesture toward the Silver Dragon and felt my stomach turn.
‘Silphy? How could such a hideous-looking dragon possibly be called by such an adorable pet name?’
I could scarcely believe what I was hearing.
The jarring disconnect between the grotesque Silver Dragon—its body reduced to nothing but a neck, dripping silver blood—and the endearing nickname ‘Silphy’ was almost unbearable.
“Curse him, Silphy.”
I was so caught off guard by the dissonance between the name and the creature’s appearance that I missed my opportunity to protest the unjust punishment.
“Wait, please! I’m telling you I was wronged!”
“What makes you think a mere error like you deserves the right to object?”
The moment the Silver Dragon’s tone shifted, my body went rigid.
I could not even draw breath.
The very air itself seemed to transform into a massive rope, strangling my neck.
“How amusing it was to witness a worthless error like you insisting you were the protagonist. I found it quite entertaining.”
The Silver Dragon’s voice resonated with terrible majesty.
“Since a mere bug dares make such claims, I too shall recognize you as the protagonist of a world—and bestow upon you a curse befitting that role. Accept it gracefully.”
“Ugh…!”
“I wish for the insolent warrior who severed my neck to be reborn into a world where nothing ever goes according to his will. May he endure an endless life of petty, monotonous frustration.”
The curse flowing from the severed dragon’s mouth engulfed me before I could flee. A form of language cradling clusters of glimmering stars circled through the void before piercing sharply into the nape of my neck.
Words clothed in luminous form blazed like a cold-laden galaxy, tearing and burning beneath my skin.
I clenched my teeth to keep from losing consciousness. Wracked with agony, the grinding sound of my teeth and the whimpers leaking through my clenched jaw echoed in my ears.
As I writhed on the ground like a worm, I reached out toward Perenustus.
Even knowing he would not help, even knowing that he was the one who had inflicted this incomprehensible punishment, something compelled me to do so anyway.
Perenustus, who had been watching me convulse under the curse, hesitated with a complicated expression before taking my hand.
‘…Giving the disease and then the cure. What is this.’
Even as I found it absurd, I desperately clutched the large hand permitted to me.
Through the contact of our skin, his emotions transmitted to me vividly. Exhaustion and contempt, pity and a hint of regret.
Yet he showed no sign of reversing the decision he had already made.
“You have received the punishment you deserve. Now it is your turn to repay with your body.”
What kind of ridiculous thing is he saying now.
Overwhelmed by pain, I could barely speak. He covered the emotions swirling in his eyes with fatigue and spoke in a voice far colder than before.
“Let us go. A single proper experience will be more convincing than a hundred words.”
The moment a sharp sound rang out from his long fingertips, everything around me blurred.
Reality melted like watercolor, and in an instant, a completely different space appeared.
【TRAINING STAGE】
ID : EMPIRE_ROMANCE_003
GENRE : Romance Fantasy
MAIN EVENT : Empress Selection Ball
OBJECTIVE:
Become entangled in an assassination attempt targeting the female protagonist who aims to become empress and die

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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