I Became the Wife of the Hero Who Killed Me - Chapter 155

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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#Episode 155

 

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I had the most terrible nightmare of my life.

 

On such an important day as today… I felt so ashamed that I had ruined it because of me that I couldn’t bear to face Edwin.

 

Nevertheless, he gently patted my shoulder with infinitely caring hands.

 

“Elisia, are you feeling better?”

 

“Yes.”

 

I tried to answer calmly, but my voice came out nasal.

 

I must have cried so much that my eyes, nose, and mouth were all swollen, but Edwin didn’t seem to find my appearance funny at all as he embraced me with an endlessly serious expression.

 

“We should postpone Choya to another time.”

 

“But according to the divination, today is…”

 

“Nothing is more important than Elisia’s condition. You look so pale that you might collapse at any moment.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

I truly felt ashamed.

 

Edwin must have prepared carefully for Choya like me, as he had a subtle rose scent. His nightgown was also made of very thin and soft material, unlike usual.

 

Moreover, it was a night that not only we but everyone at Lombard Castle had been waiting for.

 

It was Choya that we were finally having after more than half a year since I married into the family.

 

“…”

 

I lifted my head that had been leaning on his shoulder.

 

Sensing my gaze, Edwin quietly met my eyes.

 

‘He’s completely different from the dream after all.’

 

But why did I react that way earlier?

 

The current him is incomparably more sincere and devoted than Edwin from my past life who betrayed me, so why did the afterimage of the past overlap right after I woke up?

 

Simply because he has the same appearance?

 

‘I don’t know…’

 

I understand with my head that he’s a completely different person.

 

But in those eyes looking at me with concern, I occasionally saw the Edwin from the past overlapping.

 

This won’t do after all.

 

I didn’t want to be held by Edwin while overlaying him with afterimages of the past. Wouldn’t that be too disrespectful to the current him?

 

To spend Choya while seeing another man overlapping with him.

 

‘I should make some excuse.’

 

To anyone watching, it would seem like a very strange situation.

 

I had suddenly woken up in the middle of the night, had a fit, and even hurt myself, so it might look like I wasn’t mentally sound.

 

Not that Edwin would confine me to the Confinement Tower or anything, but I didn’t want to worry him.

 

“I’m really sorry. I guess I was too nervous earlier. It’s my, my first time…”

 

“It’s alright.”

 

“I wanted to become a real married couple with Edwin. I really did.”

 

As I spoke, my eyes started stinging again.

 

By now, we should have become a real married couple, we should have pledged eternal love and surrendered our souls and bodies to each other.

 

I ruined it all.

 

“I don’t want anyone else but you. I would never allow it. But, but…”

 

“Elisia, calm down.”

 

“Could you give me a little time? I’ll be fine soon. It’s because it’s my first time, that’s why.”

 

“It’s alright. Everything is alright.”

 

Edwin gently stroked my shoulder as I rambled incoherently.

 

Then he looked at me and continued seriously.

 

“That Elisia loves me, this alone is enough for me.”

 

“But the heir…”

 

“Aren’t we still young and healthy? Even if not today, there will be plenty of opportunities.”

 

He gently held my hand as if to reassure me as I remained anxious.

 

“Elisia, you said you don’t want anyone but me. That you won’t allow any other man to embrace you.”

 

“…”

 

“I also want to become a true married couple with Elisia. But before that, I’m much happier that Elisia promised me eternity.”

 

My head shrank into my neck like a turtle from embarrassment.

 

Earlier I had blurted out all my inner thoughts while half in panic, but hearing it again from Edwin’s mouth made me want to bury my face in dishwater.

 

Then, Edwin said something unexpected.

 

“And I’m sorry.”

 

“Suddenly?”

 

“For hurting Elisia in the dream…”

 

“Pfft, what? Why are you apologizing for something that happened in a dream?”

 

I thought Edwin had no talent for jokes, but now his characteristic random and clumsy joke actually broke my tension.

 

When I couldn’t help but burst into laughter, he finally smiled along with me.

 

But it was strange.

 

I felt like his golden eyes looking at me were wavering gloomily.

 

His mouth was smiling affectionately, but his eyes looked like someone holding back tears.

 

Because I didn’t like that, I deliberately laughed even louder.

 

“Do you even know what you did to me in the dream to apologize?”

 

“…That’s true.”

 

“Your joke was so funny that I can’t even remember what nightmare I had anymore.”

 

I would forget it. I had to forget it. I had to do so for the sake of him being so affectionate.

 

Making that resolution, I tried to burrow into Edwin’s embrace, but I saw his wrist under his translucent sleeve.

 

It was scratched randomly and swollen red, and where it was severe, blood was seeping out.

 

“Wait, what is this?”

 

“It’s nothing.”

 

“It’s not nothing, let me see your wrist. Hur, ry…!”

 

I rolled around earnestly on the bed trying to catch Edwin who was slowly backing away.

 

But while we were entangled like one body, tumbling back and forth—though Edwin was letting me win one-sidedly—the edge of the blanket brushed against my nape and chest.

 

I screamed from the burning pain.

 

“Aah!”

 

“Elisia?!”

 

Startled, Edwin stopped our tussle—though he had been letting me win one-sidedly—and urgently brushed away my disheveled hair.

 

My exposed chest wasn’t much different from his wrist.

 

Snake-like scars were randomly drawn in long lines.

 

“We should call the Personal Physician immediately. It might get infected.”

 

“…”

 

I nodded silently.

 

My wounds were self-inflicted so I had nothing to say even if they festered, but the problem was Edwin’s wounds.

 

Since they were made with fingernails, they might leave scars.

 

As Edwin was about to pull the bell cord, I quickly grabbed him.

 

“Wa, wait a moment. What do we tell people?”

 

If we called Gilbert now, he would realize there had been a problem with Choya.

 

But Edwin answered as if asking what the problem was.

 

“That I have a functional problem—”

 

“Are you crazy?!”

 

I already felt guilty for ruining Choya because of me, and I couldn’t let Edwin become a modest man again.

 

I couldn’t let the reputation he had built up plummet vertically again just to protect me.

 

“Let’s say it’s because of me this time. That we couldn’t do it because I have a functional problem.”

 

“But, um… is it possible for a woman to have functional problems?”

 

“Actually, I don’t really know either. Couldn’t we just make something up? Don’t you know anything?”

 

“….”

 

Since both of them had absolutely no experience in this area, only speechless silence continued.

 

In the end, I was the first to make a suggestion.

 

“Let’s just say we did it….”

 

“Pardon?”

 

“Today’s events were just a mishap, weren’t they? We’ll pick an auspicious day soon and do it again, right?”

 

Trying to express it directly in words was so embarrassing that my tongue kept getting twisted.

 

Anyway, I was confident that it wouldn’t take very long to shake off the shadows of the past.

 

I was the type of person who always accomplished what I set my mind to, and I had no intention of letting past nightmares interfere with my current happiness.

 

But unexpectedly, Edwin’s expression was dark.

 

“Elisia.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“How about we take a little more time and think slowly about our first night.”

 

I opened my eyes wide in surprise.

 

“…Do you think I’m not ready yet?”

 

It was true that I had shown Edwin something that could cause misunderstanding. I had pushed him away as if having a seizure.

 

But this was clearly a misunderstanding. What I had rejected wasn’t the present Edwin, but merely a specter from the past.

 

I threw away all my pride and dignity and clung to him.

 

“I sincerely want to become husband and wife with Edwin! I can’t say I have no pressure about producing an heir, but my desire for us to belong to each other forever was much stronger than that. Really.”

 

“No, it’s not Elisia’s fault. I’m the problem.”

 

“What do you suddenly mean by that?”

 

If he was trying to talk about functional problems, I was prepared to argue back.

 

In fact, since kissing required our bodies to be pressed closely together, I couldn’t help but know even if I didn’t want to. His vitality, that is.

 

But Edwin’s response that followed was something I had never expected at all.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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