I Became My Ex-Boyfriend’s Concubine - Chapter 40

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Episode 40

“There’s someone I left behind there. That’s why I have to go back no matter what.”
Her gaze, which had been fixed on the window, blurred and scattered.
A reason to return.
He was always at the center of it.
She first met Hyun at the Orphanage, her mother’s hand clasped in hers. Without knowing it would be the last time with her mother, she’d been caught up in the excitement of a rare outing, absorbed in viewing the flowers.
It was much later when she realized her mother had vanished.

“Mom? Mom!”

By the time she understood that her mother had abandoned her, he appeared.

“Hello.”

The first person to speak to her when she stood outside the crumbling wall, unable to enter, wiping away only tears.
After that, Hyun became her only world—a girl without parents or siblings.
He was a steady support when she needed an older brother, a warm embrace when she needed a parent. And when she confessed and asked him to become her lover, he gladly opened his heart to her.
Eight years of walking hand in hand.
She couldn’t even fathom a life without Hyun.

“Let’s break up.”

The cold voice that suddenly echoed in her memory made Danbi clench her sleeve.
She still couldn’t believe it.
She’d believed they were walking toward the same horizon, yet he’d turned away without a moment’s hesitation.
How she resented that receding silhouette.
And yet she missed him.
Desperately wanted to see him.
Even as she tried to console herself that this was pathetic attachment, her heart kept reaching toward him, and she couldn’t stop it.
If he came back to her, she could forgive everything that had passed, undo it all as if it never happened.
Such foolish thoughts consumed her until, in a moment, her chest plummeted.

“I agreed too.”
“……What?”
“I said I agreed. To removing your name.”

The image of him walking away, hand in hand with someone else, wouldn’t leave her mind.
Every time she remembered it, a sharp sting pierced her chest. Though by now she should have grown accustomed to it, the pain felt fresh and vivid each time.
When she clutched her chest so hard she could barely breathe, a strange thought would surface.
‘What am I doing here right now?’
With a tattered heart, what was the point in wanting to go back? For whose sake?
She’d simply believed she had to return. That place was the world she belonged to, her entire life.
But when she examined it coldly, nothing would change. Going back wouldn’t alter that hellish reality in the slightest.
It would only mean walking into that hell of her own volition once more.
If she had to bear watching him look at someone other than her, if she could only ever see the back of him as he turned away and grew distant—
What reason could she possibly have to return to that place?
Danbi slowly opened her hand. Moonlight seeping between the window bars fell pale and soft across her palm.
Perhaps she’d been deceiving herself, thinking she still held things she’d already let slip away.
It was then, as she tried to clench her fist around the moon’s light that wouldn’t be grasped, that his voice came.
“……I, too, left many things behind.”
The low, quiet voice pierced her ear.
When she turned her head, she saw Hyun’s profile, pale and drained in the moonlight. His gaze fixed straight onto hers.
“When I was fourteen, I watched my mother and siblings vomit blood and collapse before my eyes, one after another.”
“……!”
“It was my tea cup, my portion from the royal meal. But the king drank it in my place, and only I remained alive.”
He spoke as though recounting someone else’s story, his tone flat and matter-of-fact.
Yet that very indifference made her heart drop like a stone.
His face, unchanging in expression, seemed to speak of the weight of years he had endured, and her chest grew cold at the sight.
“Since that day, there has been no peace permitted to me. Each time I took the Royal Meal, I had to doubt whether it contained poison, and each time I lay down to sleep, I had to fear whether I would open my eyes the next morning.”
Hyeon gazed quietly into empty space. His eyes, holding the light of a shattered moon yet dwelling in a place that could not be grasped, were hollow.
Danbi watched him in silence. In the moment when the thought arose that his eyes looked so terribly lonely, her gaze met his as though they had made a promise.
Gentle eyes beneath deep brows. Lips curved in a small arc, raised differently than usual.
Her heart suddenly raced as though possessed.
Without thinking, she reached out. Warmth brushed the tips of her fingers.
She carefully swept away the moonlight that had settled on his face. Hyeon’s gaze followed her touch downward, then returned to her eyes.
Her own face was reflected clearly in the depth of his eyes.
It was familiar. When she met herself mirrored in those deep eyes, something welled up in her, urgent and choking.
‘Hyeon.’
The name she could not speak aloud lingered in her mouth. Danbi parted her lips, then pressed them firmly shut.
‘No, I mustn’t mistake this.’
He was not Hyeon. He was not the one she longed for. He was merely a stranger who resembled him terribly.
Hyeon no longer existed in her world.
Danbi slowly withdrew her hand. Just as she began to lean back, her wrist was seized firmly.
“—What are you—”
Danbi twisted reflexively in alarm, but instead of answering, he pulled her hand roughly toward his face.
Giving her no chance to escape, his gaze pierced hers, and heat crept up the tips of her ears.
Thump, thump.
Her heart thrashed as though it might burst from her chest. She could not even fathom why he was doing this or what he intended.
“What do you look upon so intently.”
“—What?”
As though he meant to grasp something, he examined her expression piece by piece, laying it bare. Then, pressing his overlapped hands firmly against her face, he spoke in a low voice.
“Are you truly looking at me?”
“—!”
Her heart sank.
Had she been found out?
His gaze settled on her face. Even as she tried to evade it, his eyes pursued her relentlessly until their gazes locked. It felt as though she were trapped within his shadow.
When his voice broke the heavy silence, it was low and measured.
“Even as you look at me, you are not truly seeing me.”
Danbi could not speak, only parting her lips soundlessly.
His hand rose slowly. The touch that had brushed back the hair falling across her cheek naturally cradled her face.
“What is it that you left behind, that your eyes hold such sorrow?”
She bit her lower lip, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill.
This was unfair. With a face so identical, gazing at her with such tenderness, she could not help but see the figure from her memory overlaid before her.
“…It’s nothing.”
She tried to turn her head away, but Hyeon would not allow it.
He tightened his grip on her chin, forcing her to face him directly. Even in the pitch darkness, his eyes, brimming with moonlight, shimmered strangely.
“You are a poor liar.”
Hyeon whispered low.
His fingers slowly traced away the tears that ran down her cheeks. It was a tender touch, yet beneath it lay an unspoken pressure that stole her breath.
“Answer me. As you face me, who do you remember? Who is it that makes your face so utterly desolate?”
Her shoulders visibly trembled.
There was no way the Hyeon of this place could know the real him.
And yet he seemed to have sensed it instinctively—that her gaze was chasing someone beyond him, another whom she sought.
Danbi opened her mouth to speak, then closed it firmly. As she tried in every way to withdraw and create distance, Hyeon’s voice seized her.
“Did I not tell you that you must be loved by me?”
“—!”
His sudden words stopped her breath.
Still he held her gaze, refusing to release it.
Yet somehow his eyes were different from usual. The sharp vigilance had vanished without a trace, leaving only a warmth that seemed ready to embrace her at any moment.
“That word is truth.”
Even as he pressed her, it sounded like an entreaty—please let it be true.
‘Why on earth?’
Was she misunderstanding something?
She could not fathom his sudden change in demeanor.
Now that she had mentioned the reality, had those absurd words about games and missions finally begun to take hold?
As she hesitated, trying to read his intentions, Hyeon spoke again.
“Then what of you?”
There was no time to even register shock. Before she could ask what he meant, a low voice cut through the air.
“I asked what you think of me.”

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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