I Became an Ancient All-Host Lifeform - Chapter 29

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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029 Excellent Means of Dialogue

The villagers guided the Holy Church investigation team toward their destination.
Everyone they encountered along the way welcomed them warmly and began following the group.
What had started as barely ten people swelled within moments to several dozen.
The investigation team arrived, guided by the villagers, at Jimi’s House, situated on the outskirts of the Village.
Jimi’s Mother heard of their arrival and came out to the courtyard to greet them warmly.

“Oh my, Priestesses and Priests! What brings you to this humble place? Do come in.”
“Thank you for the warm welcome.”

The investigation team followed her inside the house.
As they settled into the living room, the village women brought out food they had prepared themselves.

“It’s a mushroom dish made from our village’s specialty. You must be exhausted from your long journey—do fill your bellies first.”

A sweet and savory aroma wafted from the vegetable stew infused with Green Mushroom.
The investigation team, suspicious of Heresy and keeping their guard up, were nonetheless worn out from the long road.

“We appreciate the offer, but it’s not necessary.”

The Inquisitor Knights politely declined, though they could not hide the saliva pooling in their mouths.

“Come now, you must be famished—you should eat something!”
“Goodness, your faces are drawn! Please, have some fresh Rye Bread and Mushroom Soup to restore your strength!”

After the village women’s repeated insistence, the High Priest reluctantly nodded, and the rest of the group carefully picked up their spoons.

“Thank you. We’ll eat gratefully.”

The moment a spoonful entered their mouths, their palates flooded with sweet and savory richness.
The holy warriors, exhausted from marching in their heavy Armor, devoured their bowls in moments.
But the Female Priestess, after merely tasting the food, suddenly stiffened and hastily spat what was in her mouth back into the bowl.

“Ptah. Hmm….”

The High Priest then asked, puzzled.

“What’s the matter?”
“There’s a faint Hallucinogenic Component present. This is almost certainly a subspecies of the Red-Haired Hallucinogenic Mushroom.”
“I see.”

The High Priest nodded and set down his spoon.

“So that explains why the villagers’ eyes were glazed over. They seem to have been enchanted by this mushroom.”

At his words, the Female Priestess released a deep breath of relief inwardly.

‘Thank goodness. It wasn’t a Heresy problem after all—just the hallucinogenic effects of the mushroom. The villagers should be safe now, shouldn’t they?’

It was at precisely that moment—

“Oh my, Priestess! Hallucinogenic effects? This isn’t that kind of mushroom at all!”
“Pardon?”

As the Female Priestess looked up in question, Jimi’s Mother clasped her hands together and began to speak with an expression of rapture.

“This is the Resurrection Mushroom that the great Forest Goddess bestowed upon us as she brought our son back from the brink of death! My severe asthma was cured in an instant thanks to this mushroom. It was nothing short of a miracle!”
…….

Words that should never have crossed her lips spilled out anyway.

“The Forest Goddess blessed us by bestowing this Resurrection Mushroom upon us. I wasn’t the only one who witnessed the miracle of it…!”

As her testimony continued, the High Priest and the Inquisitor Knights’ expressions turned to ice.

‘Oh no… what am I to do….’

The Female Priestess’s face, meanwhile, darkened with worry.
The Inquisitor Knights were notorious for their mercilessness regarding matters of heresy.
The High Priest stepped forward with a grave expression.

“Please, everyone. Compose yourselves. The Forest Goddess does not exist. You have all been entranced by the hallucinogenic effects of the mushroom.”

Jimi, listening from beside them, burst forth with indignation.

“That can’t be right! The Resurrection Mushroom not only saved my life—it cured the ailments of many others!”

Sensing the situation spiraling dangerously, the Female Priestess hurried forward to placate them.

“The mushroom may indeed possess some restorative properties, but it certainly has hallucinogenic effects as well. Everyone, you must not consume this mushroom under any circumstances!”

The High Priest then added his voice in solemn tones to admonish them.

“The only true goddess in this world is Lumina, Goddess of Light. So please, all of you, repent and….”

But the High Priest’s exhortation never reached its end.

“No! I saw it with my own eyes!”

Jimi’s voice rose, his neck straining with passion as he shouted.

“The Forest Goddess saved my life when I was dying!”

At that moment, the Village Chief stepped forward and pointed to a corner of the room.

“That’s right! Priests, look at this Sacred Object.”

There, displayed in what appeared to be a place of reverence, hung Jimi’s tattered garments, darkened and stiffened with dried blood.
The Village Chief gestured to it with evident pride as he spoke.

“This is undeniable proof that the Forest Goddess appeared in the moment our forest child nearly perished. If you look closely at the upper garment, you’ll see a great sword wound, yes? The Forest Goddess took pity on our forest child, who was dying from the bandits’ blades, and….”
“…!”

Undeniable heresy, plain and clear.
In that moment, the High Priest summoned his last reserves of patience and issued a final warning to the villagers.

“Everyone! This is blatant heresy! If you do not cease at once, you will face punishment under Church Law!”

The moment the High Priest’s voice fell, the Inquisitor Knights sprang to their feet with fervent intensity.

“In the name of Lumina, Goddess of Light, we cannot tolerate heresy!”
“Ah?!”

The Female Priestess’s eyes went wide with shock at their sudden outburst.
The Inquisitor Knights, who had already consumed a full plate of the hallucinogenic mushroom preparation, had pupils dilated halfway in their sockets.
The mushroom’s hallucinogenic effect had triggered nothing less than their warped zealotry.

Click.
“Aaaagh!”

The Inquisitor Knights hoisted in unison the absurdly massive Bald-headed Maces they’d been carrying on their backs.
At that menacing sight, the women nearby let out screams.
The Village Chief protested at once.

“What in the name of all that’s holy are you doing?”
“You are committing clear heresy right now! This is strictly forbidden under Church Law, and we have the authority to enforce enlightenment on the spot!”
“Put your weapons away immediately! Stop this at once!”

In that moment, one of the Inquisitor Knights bellowed.

“Wicked heretic! Repent at once!”

With that, his enormous Bald-headed Mace came down without mercy.

Crack!
“Gaaaaah!”

With a dull, sickening sound, red blood burst forth from the Village Chief’s head.

“V-Village Chief!”
“Won’t you stop?!”

The moment the Village Chief collapsed, every person in the village rushed at the Inquisitor Knight.
But the attacks of ordinary villagers couldn’t leave so much as a scratch on his thick armor.

“Oh….”

The Female Priestess, the only one still thinking clearly in this scene of madness, backed away in horror.

‘What—what is this? How has everything spiraled like this? Oh… did I say something I shouldn’t have back there? It’s true the mushroom does have hallucinogenic properties, but….’

She murmured in despair, caught between the Inquisitor Knights wielding iron clubs to terrify the people and the villagers who wouldn’t yield an inch while praising the Forest Goddess.

“Oh, what do I do… Lumina, Goddess of Light… please help me….”

She prayed with tears streaming down her face.
But no hand of salvation reached down to that place.

* * *

Following quietly in the wake of the crowd, we arrived at a small house on the Village Outskirts.
We were hidden in the bushes at the corner of the yard, watching their movements.

‘Why didn’t they go to the village hall or somewhere like that and come to the outskirts instead?’
– How should I know? Just keep quiet and watch!

Honestly, why does this old fossil need to get snippy just because I asked? Can’t he simply say he doesn’t know?
After three thousand years buried underground, has his social capacity atrophied that badly?
No, that can’t be right—if he’d had even a shred of normalcy in his previous life, he wouldn’t have waged war against all of humanity. Normal people don’t do such things.
Just as I was grumbling inwardly, a tremendous clamor erupted from inside the house.

“Repent at once!”
“Put away your weapons!”
“Get out! Get out now!”

Huh? Something about this feels like it’s turning ugly.
Soon, with a crash, people came pouring out into the yard.
The first to emerge was an Inquisitor Knight clad in heavy Armor.
In one hand, he gripped the scruff of a small child roughly.
Behind him, the Village Chief and villagers wailed and clung desperately to the Inquisitor Knight, trying to stop him—a complete pandemonium.

‘What? Where did he suddenly get a little kid from?’

The child’s face in the Inquisitor Knight’s grip was obscured by the crowd around him, impossible to make out clearly.
Then one incensed young villager stepped forward with a furious snort, attempting to shove the Inquisitor Knight roughly aside.

“Let go of the child of the forest at once! Are you not afraid of the Forest Goddess?”

But the powerfully built Inquisitor Knight didn’t budge at the youth’s push.
The Inquisitor Knight bellowed in a voice touched by madness.

“The one true god in this world is none other than Lumina, Goddess of Light!”

He brought down his crude iron club toward the young man’s head.

Whoosh!

Wow, he really shows no mercy swinging like that.
It was a full-force swing that made even me flinch just watching it.

Crack!
“Argh!”

Merciless violence wielded under the guise of “enlightenment” for the wayward soul!
With a dull, sickening crack, crimson blood sprayed from the young man’s head.
He collapsed to the ground with a wretched scream.

“Ahhh!”

All the women nearby shrieked at the horrific spectacle.
With a single act of “enlightenment,” the atmosphere in the courtyard froze solid.
The villagers, drained pale by the Inquisitor Knight’s ruthlessness, began backing away slowly.
In that moment, the child who had been dragged out by the Inquisitor Knight stepped forward boldly.

“Stop, please!”

Only then did I finally recognize who it was.

‘Ah! Isn’t that the kid I saved in the forest back then?’

The one standing up courageously to the Inquisitor Knight with his crude iron club in the middle of the courtyard was unmistakably the child I had rescued in the forest.
His belly had been torn open, and he was nearly dead when I treated him directly with the Regeneration skill.
The name was easy—I remember it. Jimi! That level-one kid!

– Do you know him?
‘Yes. I saved him in the forest last time.’

At my answer, Morgul, dwelling in the jewel on Gyushik’s forehead, fell silent for a moment.
Presumably, seeing the Resurrection Mushrooms spread thickly throughout this village and the way the people praised the Forest Goddess, he was piecing together roughly how things had unfolded.

– Oho… so that’s how it came to be. This could prove very advantageous for us to exploit, if handled correctly.

At the old man’s sinister tone, I grasped the situation more or less completely.
I couldn’t know the exact details, but he’d likely developed some sort of mystical misunderstanding about me.
Meanwhile, the Inquisitor Knight gazed down coldly at the small child’s bold defiance, wiping his blood-stained iron club.

“I never spare anyone simply because they are a child.”

Jimi opened his mouth despite the Inquisitor Knight’s threats.

“The Forest Goddess does not desire violence!”

At that moment, unable to bear it any longer, the Female Priestess stepped forward.
She could not bear to watch the child bleed.

“Please! Please, everyone, calm yourselves…!”

Ah… my eye for talent has never failed me.
Even from a distance, she shone with beauty, but in this dramatic moment, she looked all the more like a true goddess.
Lumina, Forest Goddess, whatever—any man worth his salt listens to the goddess standing right in front of him.

“Priestess, step aside. I am conducting a legitimate enlightenment of heresy according to Church Law.”

Yet the Inquisitor Knight did not lower his bludgeon, even at her plea.
But Jimi gave no ground either.

“Heresy? Take that back this instant!”

The small boy’s eyes blazed defiantly, bright as stars.
The Inquisitor Knight, undeterred, brandished his bludgeon and bellowed back.

“All who serve any god save Lumina are heretics!”

What… these people scare me.
Now that I think about it, their eyes all look unhinged.
Is faith really this terrifying?

“Stop this violence at once. The Forest Goddess would never condone such cruelty!”

At that, the Inquisitor Knight tapped his Bald-headed Mace against his own shoulder with apparent interest and spoke.

“True. The Goddess of Light also teaches us to eschew violence. But to guide the ignorant masses toward righteousness, sometimes strict discipline is necessary.”

Yet even before this terrifying instrument of… no, this Excellent Means of Dialogue, Jimi did not so much as blink.
The kid’s got some nerve, I’ll give him that.
If I were in his position, I’d already be crying and begging forgiveness the moment such an excellent dialogue tool was presented to me.

“Forest Goddess, I beseech you—forgive this foolish sinner…”

As Jimi clasped his hands together and muttered with his eyes closed, the male priest watching from behind stepped forward in fury.

“Now you even dare to impersonate a priest? According to Church Law, false priesthood is a grievous sin!”

At his roar, the Inquisitor Knight’s bludgeon rose skyward in unison.

“Manifest heresy and false priesthood are grave crimes! Repent at once!”
Whoooosh—!

Dammit! You madman! Are you really about to cave in a child’s skull?!

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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