I Acted Once, and Now They Call Me a Genius - Chapter 243

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Episode 243
Building the pillars of life.
After seeing Jeong Mong-ju off, Seon-woo lived day by day with that goal in mind. Since there was still some time before his next filming day, he was given a chance to focus a little more on his own life.
In the past, he probably would have spent this moment staring at scripts as always.
Or he would have analyzed other actors’ portrayals of Yi Bang-won, or hunted down academic papers to pass the time.
But he felt this wouldn’t do.
How could he properly embody the character of Yi Bang-won when he possessed a sense of self so fragile it couldn’t even support him?
In the drama, Yi Bang-won never collapses no matter what events he faces.
Then Seon-woo also had to be someone who doesn’t collapse.
The problem was figuring out how.
“……Seon-jun.”
At the family home.
Seon-woo called out to Seon-jun. Seon-jun didn’t turn around, keeping his eyes on his phone as he answered.
“Yeah?”
“Am I mentally weak?”
“You’re basically a sunfish.”
It was an answer delivered without a shred of hesitation.
Seon-woo frowned.
“Do you really have to call me a sunfish?”
“When you get stressed about something, you just treat it like it doesn’t exist. That’s why even when I used to hit you as a kid, you’d never think to fight back—you’d just pout and hide in a corner.”
“That’s not my mental weakness being like a sunfish; that’s just you acting up, isn’t it?”
“Hmm, you might be right. I’d have to hit you again to find out for sure—whether I’m acting up or you’re a sunfish.”
“……I’m sorry.”
Since childhood, Seon-woo had never been able to assert himself in front of Seon-jun.
That hadn’t changed much even now that he’d become a star actor. Seon-jun glanced at his younger brother and opened his mouth.
“But why the mental thing all of a sudden?”
“While working on this project, I felt like my mental state got worn down somehow.”
“Yi Bang-won, right? Hmm, that’s a character who’d wear anyone down.”
“So I thought I needed to grow mentally…… that kind of thinking. I suppose I need to become more of an adult.”
“What is an adult?”
“Huh?”
“I said, what is an adult? What exactly are you trying to become?”
Seon-woo thought.
What is an adult? Now that he was asked directly like this, he didn’t know what to say. There were people who came to mind when he thought of “adult,” but why he considered them adults…… there were far too many different reasons.
“Someone who doesn’t waver?”
“Then why do you waver?”
“……I’m not sure. It’s not so much wavering as…… just feeling weak.”
That must be why he couldn’t bear Yi Bang-won’s reality so much.
But as Seon-jun watched him, he shook his head.
“Everyone is weak.”
That was true.
So that’s why Lee Seong-gye wavered so much before the difficulties of founding Joseon. ……But that didn’t mean Lee Seong-gye didn’t feel like an adult to him. Rather, he seemed more mature than anyone.
Yi Bang-won was the same.
In fact, when he first appeared, Yi Bang-won seemed endlessly strong. But all of that was a strength born from ignorance, and as he came to understand the meaning of founding Joseon, his shoulders grew heavier with each passing moment.
As his thoughts reached that point, Seon-woo felt his notion of adulthood begin to shift.
“An adult isn’t someone who doesn’t waver so much as…… someone who can bear more weight, I’d say.”
“That’s true.”
“……Suddenly I’m remembering something Seong Jun-il said.”
“What did he say?”
“That the more pillars supporting your life, the better. So he told me to try doing more things.”
Now that he thought about it, perhaps that advice had been a way of telling him to become an adult.
And certainly, Seon-woo lacked such pillars far too much. In a way, he was still far from becoming an adult.
As someone trying to present himself as mature, Seon-woo was still far too precarious.
‘To become an adult, I need pillars in my life…….’
Such a thought came to him.
Perhaps a child could be the greatest pillar of all, he thought. Don’t people usually say that once you have a child, you truly become an adult?
But for Seon-woo, who wasn’t even in a relationship, let alone married, that wasn’t an option he could consider now.
“Pillars, huh…….”
Seon-jun looked at Seon-woo.
His younger brother had never really had hobbies. Apart from lying in bed and lounging around watching movies or dramas, he’d never seen him do much of anything.
And now even that sole hobby had become his job…….
“Sports…… you’re terrible at those, at least.”
“Yeah. That would be tough.”
“Then gaming……—did you not really like that?”
“I could do it if I tried…… but honestly, it’s not fun.”
“Are you meeting up with your friends?”
“…….”
Seon-woo kept silent.
Not that Seon-woo had been the type to meet up with friends that often to begin with. And since he’d started acting, the contact had grown even more sparse.
Watching him, Seon-jun clicked his tongue.
“Take care of them while you have them. Don’t regret it once they’ve all drifted away.”
“I do reach out on birthdays and stuff…….”
“What’s the point of that? You’re just barely hanging on by a thread. That’s not what I mean. Keep creating the kind of real relationships that become memories and keepsakes for you. Or else, at least get into a relationship. It’s been quite a while since your last one, hasn’t it?”
“Dating would be…… the agency would probably cause a fuss.”
“……Yeah, that is a bit much.”
“A person’s memory is what defines them.”
Seon-jun pointed at Seon-woo with his finger.
“What you experience and what you remember—that’s what determines a person’s identity. If you keep doing nothing but thinking about acting all day and holing yourself up in your room…… well.”
Seon-jun shrugged.
“Think about it. If your life became a movie, would it even be interesting?”
“…….”
Seon-jun hit him with facts cowardly.
Even Seon-woo had to admit that his life didn’t seem like it would be that interesting.
‘But how do I make this life interesting?’
He had no idea.
Without acting, there was really nothing in his life he could boast about. As a human being—Kim Seon-woo the man, not Kim Seon-woo the actor—he was painfully dull.
‘This won’t do.’
He needed to meet more people, pursue hobbies, things like that.
Seon-woo made that pledge. And it was right at that moment.
“Seon-woo, an invitation came in for you.”
Park Du-ho called out to Seon-woo and blurted this out.
An invitation. If there was one place this stood out, it was this. If there was only one place that would invite him at this time…… there was just one.
“Is it…… OBS?”
“That’s right.”
Park Du-ho nodded with a pleased smile.
“You’ve been nominated for the Newcomer Award at the OBS acting awards. We won’t know for certain if you’ll win, but…… from what I can see, the odds aren’t bad.”
“……The Newcomer Award?”
An invitation had come from the OBS acting awards.
Unfortunately, no invitation came from YBC, where My Jade was filmed. When YBC held their awards ceremony last year, My Jade was still in the middle of broadcasting. But by the end of this year, another invitation would come.
If anything, Seon-woo found it fortunate.
His seniors had often warned him terribly about awards ceremonies. They said there was no place more nerve-wracking.
But separate from that,
“That’s surprising…….”
Being invited to an awards ceremony was a joyful thing.
Until now, awards ceremonies like the acting awards or film festivals had felt like happenings from another world.
Perhaps it was because he’d yearned for such events so much. It wasn’t the red carpet laid out there, or the suits, or the trophies he yearned for.
He envied the eyes of the award recipients.
The eyes of people who had wholeheartedly challenged something and reaped its rewards…… they were beautiful enough to envy.
‘Could I…… look that way to others too?’
It was a bit absurd to hope for that in a situation where he didn’t even know if he’d win.
But Seon-woo kept imagining himself standing before a microphone with a trophy in hand. In his imagination, he looked quite awkward, as if he were wearing ill-fitting clothes.
But,
“Hehehehe. Seon-woo, you’re definitely going to be the center of attention at this ceremony! So don’t worry and just go!”
Park Du-ho was full of confidence.
“And just in case…… if you do end up winning, think ahead about what you’ll say.”
He was already asking him to prepare an acceptance speech.
……But this might be jumping the gun, though it’s probably good to prepare anyway. Without preparation, taking the stage would be very flustering.
‘This will become one of my pillars too.’
Seon-jun had said that experience and memory define a person.
And so Seon-woo’s anticipation for this awards ceremony was great. It was a place he’d always admired since childhood. Even if he didn’t win, just being able to be on that stage…… his heart already felt thrilled.
And it wasn’t just Seon-woo who felt that way.
Min-hee: What do I do? I’m so nervous.
Seon-woo: Me too.
Min-hee: Oh no, I can’t cry…… should I ask for waterproof makeup?
Seon-woo: If your makeup runs, wouldn’t that just become a scandal in itself?
Min-hee: That’s just making a dark history ㅠ
Min-hee was already fretting over how to handle her acceptance speech. It was clear she was nervous already.
So Seon-woo also felt a creeping tension building up.
If he were going to act, at least he could immerse himself in it, but an awards ceremony wasn’t like that.
He had to show not only actor Kim Seon-woo, but human Kim Seon-woo.
‘……Let’s not think too deeply about this.’
The more you think about these things, the more your nerves tend to grow.
Seon-woo tried to put the awards ceremony out of his mind and pass the time.
And finally, on the day of the ceremony,
“Ugh. I’m so tiiiired.”
“……Wow.”
When Seon-woo met Min-hee early in the morning, he fell silent in awe.
He couldn’t help it. That Min-hee was beautiful was something that didn’t need saying anymore, but he’d hardly ever seen her properly dressed up before.
But now, in a dress with full makeup…… seeing her looking so glamorous and radiant,
“You really are…… beautiful, senior.”
“What are you talking about? So sudden.”
He couldn’t help but marvel.
Min-hee grumbled a bit, embarrassed, and climbed into the van.
Seon-woo was planned to escort Min-hee down the red carpet today. It was a strange feeling. He definitely never imagined they’d walk a red carpet together until they first met at Cheongseong…….
“It’s surreal.”
“……I know, right.”
Min-hee nodded.
“Even just a year ago, I thought awards ceremonies like this were someone else’s business entirely. People’s lives are unpredictable.”
“That’s for sure.”
“……Let’s keep our heads on straight. If we freeze up, we’ll be total losers.”
Min-hee clenched her fists.
“Today I have exactly two goals. Don’t cry. Don’t trip. Don’t stammer.”
“……That’s three, not two.”
“I added one as I was talking.”
Min-hee answered without shame.
Seon-woo laughed bitterly and nodded.
“Still, I don’t think you need to be that nervous. Maybe if you just think of it like a filming set, it’ll be fine…….”
“……Right? It’ll be fine, right?”
“Yes. After all, the people from our set act in front of hundreds of people regularly. What’s so different about an awards ceremony?”
“Right?”
“That’ll be it.”
Seon-woo spoke with deliberate confidence.
After all, this was the kind of thing you pushed through with momentum. Just as fear grows the more you dwell on it, so does nervousness.
‘Don’t be nervous.’
Seon-woo repeated this to himself.
There’s nothing to worry about. Just sit there in front of people, and if you’re lucky, receive a trophy and give a few words of thanks. That’s all.
That’s what he thought.
But moments later, when they arrived at the venue and the van door opened…….
“……Oh.”
Seon-woo realized he had completely miscalculated.
The red carpet stretched endlessly, and around it, hundreds…… perhaps thousands of people and cameras were all turned toward him.
It felt vastly different from what he’d imagined.
And only then did Kim Seon-woo understand. If the cameras on a filming set captured a “scene,” then what these cameras were capturing now was solely them.
All of these people…… were looking only at him.
Seon-woo turned to Min-hee with a dazed expression. He needed an ally. At the same time, he needed someone to tell him it would be okay.
But Min-hee was equally stunned.
Despite having seen things like this before, they’d had some inkling of what to expect…… but the intensity of this scene far exceeded what they’d imagined.
In this moment, despite their confident bravado, both of them could only freeze.
His heart felt like it was about to burst.
No—it had burst!

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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